=Title: Just the Way You Are
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 100_situations
Prompt: 24, Emotional
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.***
The Doctor frowned as he entered the Tardis, moving slowly up the steps that led into the control room. He had no idea why, but he could feel a disturbance in the air, a distress that he didn't normally associate with his ship or the two lives aboard it.
Ever since Jamie had come into existence, there had been a strange bond between the two of them, and it had been growing much stronger lately. He could tell when the other man was troubled, or emotional in any way. And he was certainly feeling that now.
What could be wrong? the Doctor thought with mounting anxiety as he paused by the console to send the ship back out into the timestream. He wanted to be sure that they were away from this planet before he found Jamie and talked to him about whatever was wrong.
The disturbing feeling was growing stronger as he headed down the hall towards their bedroom, but when he looked into the room, Jamie wasn't there. The Doctor made his way to the library next, knowing that was one of Jamie's favorite rooms on the ship.
As he approached the library, he could hear the sound of soft sobbing from within, and his footsteps quickened as he neared the room. What in the world could Jamie be crying about? Had something -- or someone -- gotten to him while the Doctor had been out of the ship?
No, that couldn't have happened, he told himself firmly. Jamie had been alone here on the Tardis; and he wouldn't open the door for anyone on a planet he didn't know. The Doctor had told him firmly not to, and that he would be back in just a short while.
The only way to find out what was causing his lover to weep was if he asked. He hesitated to do so; he didn't want to interrupt what might be a private moment, but he simply couldn't stand here and listen to Jamie crying without trying to comfort him.
Entering the library, he took in the scene in front of him, feeling bewildered and unsure of what to do. He had never been good at giving comfort, and he didn't want to say the wrong thing and make Jamie feel even worse than he obviously already did.
Jamie was curled on the couch, his head in his hands, crying as though his heart would break. The Doctor could feel his own dual hearts swelling in sympathy; he hated to think of his lover sad or upset about anything, and he hoped that he could make the tears go away.
Moving across the room, he sat down next to Jamie, gently taking the other man's hands in his own. "Jamie, love, what is it?" he asked, keeping his tone soft and soothing. "Please, sweetheart, don't cry. I'm here, love. Tell me what's wrong."
Jamie only shook his head, leaning against the Doctor and gulping. It seemed that he was too overwrought to speak, and the Doctor slid his arms around the other man, holding him close, waiting patiently for his lover to speak to him, for the problem to come pouring out.
It seemed like a very long time before Jamie finally spoke, his voice almost a croak. "I'm h-human," he mumbled, the word coming out on a sob. "I'm g-going to age and d-die. I won't always b-be with you." His voice was almost a wail by the time he said the last few words.
"Jamie, I've told you so many times, that doesn't matter," the Doctor said softly, squeezing his lover's hands gently. He slid both arms around Jamie's waist, pulling him close, raising a hand to stroke his hair back from his damp, tear-streaked face.
"It doesn't matter to me if you're human, Time Lord, or something else entirely," he whispered, the words coming from his hearts and his soul, from the very core of his being. "I love you. I'll always love you. It doesn't matter what you are -- only who you are."
Those words probably would have been true for anyone he was involved with, he realized -- but they meant more in regard to Jamie than they ever would have for any other person. It truly didn't matter to him that Jamie was human; he could be anything, and he would still be loved.
If only he could make his lover understand that! But he was fixated on his humanity, and the Doctor couldn't find it in himself to blame Jamie for that. It couldn't be easy to be born into this world fully formed, in an existence that he found completely bewildering.
He wasn't used to being in a human body; he was used to having many lives, to being an immortal Time Lord. He had been thrust into an existence that he hadn't been prepared for; anyone would have a hard time getting used to all that Jamie had to accustom himself to.
"Sweetheart, I love you just the way you are," he whispered, leaning his cheek against the silky softness of Jamie's hair. "I don't want you to change. If you were something other than human, then you wouldn't be the person you are. And I love who you are."
"I know you love me," Jamie whispered, sniffling as he raised his head to look directly at the Doctor. "I love you, too. But are things going to be different when I start to age? When I can't be as much as I am now? I won't always look like this -- and I won't always be as strong and capable."
The Doctor took Jamie's face between his hands, looking deeply into the dark pools of the other man's eyes. Eyes that were exactly like his; beautiful eye, dark, deep and mysterious. The memories of several lifetimes were hidden in those eyes -- memories that belonged to both of them.
"Jamie, I love you exactly as you are," he whispered, hoping that his words would somehow reach the other man's heart and soul and sink into them. "You don't have to be a Time Lord. You don't have to be anything other than human -- and yourself."
Jamie's eyes seemed to search his soul, as though his lover wasn't quite sure what to think of what he was saying. But after several long moments of their gazes being locked, he nodded slowly, breaking the spell that they had been under.
The Doctor let his hands fall from Jamie's face, gathering his lover into his arms again. He leaned back against the soft cushions of the couch with the other man in his embrace, stroking Jamie's hair, the two of them not needing words to feel comfortable together.
Could he possibly feel like this with anyone else? the Doctor wondered, knowing in his hearts that it wasn't possible. No one else meant as much to him as Jamie did; no one possibly could. This man was a part of him, in every way. No one else could ever be this close to his hearts.
Every word that he'd said to Jamie was true. He loved this man just the way he was; he didn't need to change. Yes, he was human; he would age and die, and eventually the Doctor would be left alone, with only his memories of their time together to hold and to cherish.
But what memories they would be! he told himself, feeling his hearts lift and soar. He and Jamie would be together for years -- for decades. They had so much time in front of them. It might be a short time compared to his own life span, but they would make the most of it.
They would savor every moment that they had together -- and if there was trouble along the way, then the two of them would manage to overcome whatever it was. They had already been through so much with each other; together, they were an unbeatable team.
Nothing was going to make him give up this man any sooner than he absolutely had to. And when he did finally have to release Jamie to another realm, another kind of life, he could do so knowing that he would eventually join his love in that new life, that Jamie would be waiting there for him.
"It's hard to believe that anyone can love me just the way I am," Jamie sighed, the words breaking into the Time Lord's thoughts. "I'm only human, Doctor. And that seems to be so much less than what you are -- and what you might need me to be."
"I only need you to be who you are, my sweet," the Doctor told him, his voice soft and gentle. "All I need is for you to love me, Jamie. I need you to love me just as I am -- and rest assured that I do love you just the way you are, with no changes."
Jamie nodded, sighing again and snuggling into the Doctor's embrace and wrapping his own thin arms around the Time Lord's waist. The two men sat there in silence, the quiet around them soothing both their souls and creating a peaceful oasis.
The emotional upheaval was past now, and the two of them could rest easily, the Doctor reflected, his arms tightening around his lover. But there was no telling when the next one would come -- and he hoped that he would be better prepared for that next storm, whenever it arrived.***
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