Title: Life Without You
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 6, 50ficlets
Prompt: 47, Sent Away
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

Jamie glanced at the Doctor across the expanse of the Tardis' console; there was a disturbing thought that had occurred to him more than once recently, and he wanted to bring it up with the other Time Lord, though at the same time, he would much rather keep it hidden.

Why was it so hard to talk openly and frankly with the Doctor about some of the changes that had been made in him when he had been miraculously brought back from the dead? Jamie wondered, heaving a sigh without realizing he had done so.

At the sound of his sigh, the Doctor looked up, an inquiring expression on his face that rapidly became a frown. "Jamie, is something wrong?" he asked, straightening up from where he had been bending over the console. "You sound as if you're worried about something."

Jamie's first instinct was to deny the Time Lord's words, but he knew that wouldn't do. The Doctor knew him almost as well as he knew himself; there was no way that he could lie to this man. Besides, he didn't want to. There should be no secrets between the two of them.

"I've .... been thinking about something," he began, not sure just how to put what he'd been feeling into words. Now that he was going to relay his fears and doubts to the Doctor, they seemed ridiculous; he had no reason to let those worries take over his thoughts.

"Yes?" The Doctor moved from where he was standing across the console from Jamie, to stand in front of his lover. He took Jamie's hands in his, gazing into his lover's eyes. "Jamie, whatever it is, it can't be bad enough for you not to be able to talk to me about it."

"I-I worry that you'll get tired of having me with you now that I'm a Time Lord," Jamie blurted out, cursing himself inwardly even as he spoke. He hadn't wanted to put his fears into words so bluntly; there was a better way to convey them, he was sure.

But the words were out now, and he had to keep speaking, to try and let the Doctor know how he felt. "It's not that I think you would just abandon me," he said hastily, shaking his head. "I just .... can't help feeling that you might want to send me away at some point."

"Send you away?" The Doctor looked horrified by the very idea; his dark eyes widened, and Jamie could almost hear the gasp in his voice when he spoke again. "Jamie, do you really believe that I could ever do that? Don't you know me at all?"

Jamie wanted to hang his head in shame; he could hear the hurt in the Doctor's voice, and hurting the man he loved was the last thing he'd wanted to do. But because of his insensitivity in letting those words tumble out unheeded, that was exactly what he'd managed to do.

"I just thought you might not want to have another Time Lord with you," Jamie mumbled, knowing that the words sounded like an accusation, even though he didn't mean them to. "That you might have preferred me as I was. I don't want to saddle you with someone you don't want."

"Jamie." The Doctor dropped Jamie's hands, raising his own to the other man's face. His gaze never left Jamie's; his words, when he spoke, were so impassioned that they brought tears to Jamie's eyes, tears that he had to blink back to keep them from streaming down his face.

"I would never send you away from me because of what you've become, love," he whispered, his dark gaze holding Jamie's. "It doesn't matter to me whether you're a human, or a Time Lord. As long as you're my Jamie, my love, that's all that matters."

Jamie couldn't hold back his tears at those words; he buried his face against the Doctor's shoulder, feeling his lover's comforting arms wrapped around him, holding him, keeping him safe and warm. And loved. That embrace told him that he was very much loved.

"Never think that I could send you away, love," the Doctor whispered, his grip on Jamie tightening. "I never would. I'll always want you by my side, Jamie, for as long as you want to be here. I'm only glad that you've decided to stay with me. I wouldn't want to think of a life without you."

"Nor I you," Jamie whispered, raising his head to look into the Doctor's eyes. When their lips met, every doubt, every uncertainty was driven away. He was right where he belonged, where he wanted to be -- and he was more than reassured that he would never be sent away.

***