Title: Like A Rock
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Michael Cutter
Fandom: Doctor Who/Law & Order
Rating: PG-13
Table: 100_tales
Prompt: 67, Destruction
Warning: ongoing story, past non-con
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Michael Cutter, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

Michael shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked along one of the myriad streets of New York City, heading back towards the hotel he and the Doctor were staying in. He was ready to leave this planet, ready to go back out into the stars and never look back.

The more time they spent here, the more discouraged and depressed he felt. It didn't matter that this was his home planet, the city where he'd always felt that he belonged. Too much had happened here for him to be comfortable in New York any longer.

Everything that had happened here had destroyed his connection with the city he'd once striven to protect. He no longer felt as though he had a home here; in spite of it being his birthplace and having spent most of his life here, it could never be his home again.

No, his place was with the Doctor, he told himself, lifting his face to the sun as his steps slowed. He didn't belong here on Earth, living the life of a lawyer, the life that he had thought was enough for so long. He belonged with the Time Lord, out there traveling through the stars.

If he had never met the Doctor, he would have thought such things only happened in science fiction. He'd never have believed for one second that someone like his lover could exist; sometimes it still seemed hard to believe that he was in love with an alien.

But the Doctor didn't seem like an alien. No, he seemed more human than any of the killers Mike had prosecuted when he was working in the DA's office. There was a sense of honor and justice about the Time Lord that Mike hadn't seen in many humans.

It was strange that he could find the qualities he'd always looked for in the person he wanted to be with lodged within someone who wasn't even from this planet. He had never thought that anyone outside of Earth could be so .... well, so human.

Of course, the Doctor was half-human, he reminded himself. But was it that heritage from his mother that had given him such a sense of justice, the kind of nobility and self-sacrifice that Michael had rarely seen in any human being of his own acquaintance?

No, it was something more than just his inherited humanity, Mike decided, turning a corner and looking up to gauge how far away he was from the hotel. It was the Doctor's own personality, his high developed ideas of right and wrong that made him the man he was.

So much had happened to the Time Lord in his long lifetime, Mike mused, his footsteps slowing as his thoughts focused on the man he loved. He'd been through so much that would have destroyed most people -- and maybe that was his alien side kicking in.

Could a human survive all that the Doctor had been through? Michael didn't think so. Not only would they have broken down emotionally, their bodies were far too frail physically to withstand some of what the Time Lord had told him that he had endured in the past.

His relationships hadn't survived some of his trials, though. Mike's mind veered away from that thought; he didn't want to think that his own loving relationship with the Doctor might not stand up to the pressures of what he himself was going through at the moment.

It was amazing that the two of them had managed to stay together through all of this; he would have expected their relationship to be destroyed long ago if the Doctor hadn't been the strong, capable person that he was. Mike could only be grateful to him for that.

If he had been involved with a human, would his relationship had withstood the test of all that had happened? Michael didn't think so. It was a testament to the strength of their bond with each other that they'd come this far.

He didn't have any doubts about his love for the Doctor -- nor about the Time Lord's feelings for him. But it had to be hard for the other man to deal with the fact that his lover had been victimized -- and that so far, they hadn't been able to find a clue as to who had done it.

Mike had gone over and over the evidence again with a fine-toothed comb; he couldn't bring to mind anyone from his past on Earth as a prosecutor who would want to get to him that much. Well, at least not anyone who could manage to do so.

There were plenty of people who would want to see him publicly humiliated and laid low, of course. And more than enough of them who would go a step further and want to see him dead. But none of them were in a position to have that carried out, at least none that he knew of.

So he had tried to reconcile himself to putting the past behind him, trying to move past what had been done to him and making a new life with the Doctor. In some ways, he'd succeeded in doing that -- but the seeds of destruction had already been sown.

His relationship with the Time Lord would never be torn apart; Mike was sure of that. No, the destruction that had been started was that of his serenity, his security, his peace of mind. It felt as though that part of him, something that everyone had a right to, was being ripped to pieces day by day.

No one should have to go through the nightmares, or live with the memories that he did. He and the Doctor were both determined to find at least some of the men responsible for his kidnapping and rape, and bring them to justice, no matter how long that might take.

That was why they were here now -- but so far, their search had proven fruitless. The destruction that Mike was facing now was the death of his hopes of finding out just who had done this to him, and being able to have justice meted out to them.

Sighing, he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets, adroitly dodging a child skipping along the street. He might as well give up looking; there didn't seem to be any clues, no matter how hard they looked or which way they turned. Maybe it was time to give up looking.

The Doctor wouldn't want to hear that, of course. He was the kind of man who would pursue this to the end, doggedly trying to bring any information to light, never giving up. But maybe it was time for them to attempt to put all of this behind them, once and for all.

Still, he would never have his peace of mind back if they did that -- and neither would the Doctor, Mike told himself. His lover needed the closure and the knowledge of who had done this just as much as he did; it wasn't fair to deprive them both of that closure.

They needed to find out who had done this. He had to know, for his own peace of mind. He had to be able to look his rapists in the eye and let them know that they hadn't destroyed him, that he could rise above their actions and get on with his life.

The destruction they'd tried to wreak in his life hadn't been complete. He wouldn't let it be, and neither would the Doctor. They weren't going to give in to that kind of evil; they were both going to fight it every step of the way, and cling to each other with all their strength.

The men who had attacked him had wanted to destroy him, to tear him down as not only a lawyer and a public servant, but as a man. But they hadn't managed to wreak the destruction they'd wanted to; they had only managed to bring out his fighting spirit.

He might have been despondent when it had first happened, but thank goodness he'd had the Doctor in his life, Mike told himself, lifting his head and squaring his shoulders. As long as he had his lover by his side, he could face anything that life might throw at him.

He should go back to the hotel and tell the Doctor that, Michael thought, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth. They would keep on looking for the men who had harmed him, of course -- but they wouldn't let the search consume their lives, or destroy what they shared.

The two of them would stand like a rock against any destructive elements that might happen to come against them. He was more sure of that then he'd ever been of anything in his life; no matter what, he and the Doctor would stick together.

Nothing could come between the two of them unless they allowed it to happen -- and they wouldn't, Mike vowed to himself. They would stand tall, presenting a united front against any destructive force that they might face in the future. Together, they could overcome anything.

His footsteps quickened with his thoughts; he was nearly to their hotel now, his heartbeats speeding up in anticipation of seeing his lover again. No destructive force in the world could take that feeling away from him, Mike thought with a smile as he pushed open the door and strode into the lobby.

***