Title: New Life
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5, 12_stories
Prompt: 10, Life
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor looked around the control room of the Tardis, trying to see it with different eyes. Was this a strange kind of home? He'd never thought so, but then, the Tardis had been a part of his life for so long that he could barely remember a time without her.

The Tardis had always been his home. He could vaguely remember the home that he'd grown up in on Gallifrey, where his parents had lived and where he'd been a child. He knew that he'd had that life, of course, but it seemed more like a dream than a memory.

So many things about Gallifrey seemed far away, cloaked in the mists of memory rather than being fresh and new and alive in his mind. That was one of his greatest fears, really -- that his home planet was eventually going to disappear from his memories.

He'd never let that happen, he told himself fiercely, shaking his head. Gallifrey was always going to live on, until his dying breath. He would keep it alive.

But that wasn't going to be easy to do, not when he was the only person alive who could remember it in all its glory. Sometimes the thought was enough to make him cry.

His life there had been so utterly foreign to what most people would consider a life, he thought, leaning forward and propping his chin on his hands. Or had it been? He couldn't really remember all the things that he'd done, the places he'd been.

Had he had a "normal" life as a child? No, of course not. He'd been working towards becoming a Time Lord, ever since he was small. He couldn't remember a time when he'd wanted to be anything else. That ambition had always been a part of him.

Well, now he was a Time Lord; he'd been one for centuries. And there were times when he couldn't help but think that his ambition had been misplaced. Maybe there were other things that he should have aimed for.

Sighing, he shook his head, closing his eyes. No. He shouldn't allow himself to think like that. If he hadn't become what he was, maybe the universe as he knew it wouldn't exist any more. He might have been the one to keep it protected for all these years.

And he couldn't deny what he was, after all. That would be to negate the man he had become, and most of the time, he liked that person.

But .... now he felt as though he was split in two, with his human self taking up residence in the Tardis alongside him. It was strange, to know that he was responsible for another life. He'd been a parent before -- but never quite like this.

Besides, he couldn't look at his human clone as being his "child." The other man was exactly like him, with his thoughts, his memories. The only difference was that he had a bit of Donna mixed in -- as well as the fact that he was undeniably, inexorably human.

He couldn't look at his human self as being his child. He wanted the other man too much.

The Doctor wanted to slap himself for thinking such a thing; if anyone else knew how he felt about his human self, they'd look at him askance and back away. It was strange, odd, wrong in the eyes of so many.

But nevertheless, those were his feelings, and he wasn't going to back away from them. He'd left Earth and brought his clone with him because he couldn't bear the thought of never seeing him again, of condemning him to a life that the other man didn't want.

Well, he hadn't said in so many word that he didn't want it. But still .... even if the Doctor didn't use his telepathic abilities, he knew what the other man was thinking. They were, after all, the same. And he was sure that they were sufficiently alike for them to have the same feelings.

He just knew that his human self wouldn't have wanted the life that everyone else seemed to think he should have. And the Doctor wasn't going to force him into it.

A parallel universe. They'd never have seen each other again. He'd never have known what was going on in that mind that was his, and yet not his. The mind that had part of his best friend in it, the mind that was so .... human.

No, this was the life he'd chosen for them both. He'd wanted his human self to make his own choice, to do what he'd thought was best for himself and what he wanted. But at the same time, he'd been more than a little selfish in keeping the other man with him.

It didn't matter now. It was done, and he wasn't going to tamper with time and change things.

He was going to make a life for them. Away from Earth, away from everyone who would disapprove of what he'd done. What others thought didn't really matter, did it? All that mattered was that the two of them were happy.

All right, so that was a rather selfish way of looking at the situation. And it did matter to him what his human friends thought. But that still wasn't going to make him change his mind, or harbor regrets about what he'd done.

Regrets would mean that he'd eventually feel resentful of his human self, that he'd push the other man away and quite possibly decide that he didn't want his clone to be a part of his life. And he wouldn't let that happen. He'd made his decision, and it was the right one.

So maybe he'd rushed into his decision a bit, and he'd have to work a few snags out. It was still better than being alone, better than never knowing the man who was so much a part of him.

He wanted them to build a life together. A life away from anyone who could disapprove of them, a life that focused on the two of them and what they wanted and needed -- not what others thought they should do.

They'd never be able to do that on Earth. He knew that, and he was sure that the other man did, too. As a human, he'd be around his "own kind" if they stayed on Earth -- but the Doctor wouldn't. It would be better for them not to be there.

The Doctor sighed, running a hand over his face and through his hair. It wasn't going to be easy for them. His human self would probably want more interaction with other humans at some point; he'd have to go back to Earth and spend some time there.

And he would have to face the disapproval of Jack and the rest of the Torchwood team, and others who were his friends. Oh, well. He'd have had to face them someday, in any case.

After all, he couldn't keep his clone away from other humans. He knew all too well what it was like to be the only one of his race, to feel alone even when there were others around him. He wasn't going to put the other man through that.

His clone probably already knew what that was like -- to an extent. After all, he had the Doctor's memories. He'd know what it had felt like to see the only other one of his kind die, how painful it was to know that he was the last. To know that he was completely alone.

But now he wasn't alone. All right, so his clone wasn't Gallifreyan. He was human, but he was also part of the Doctor. They shared more than any other being could possibly share with him, and even if it was a selfish attitude, that was something that he didn't want to give up.

He'd given this man life, and it was his responsibility to give him the kind of life that he deserved to live. If that new life was to be the two of them together, then the Doctor would have no complaints about it. He could only hope that his clone wouldn't, either.

Maybe their being together wouldn't be easy, but it was what he wanted. And he was sure that there was enough of him in the other man for him to want it just as much.

The Doctor looked up at the ceiling of his ship and smiled, feeling a burden that he'd seemed to carry with him ever since this had all started slip away. No, their life might not be easy from here on out -- but he had a feeling that it was certainly going to be interesting.

***