Title: No Longer A Victim
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Michael Cutter/Ryan O'Halloran
Fandom: Law & Order
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1drabble
Prompt: 10, Weakness
Warning: Mentions of rape, previous non-con
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Michael Cutter or Ryan O'Halloran, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***
He hadn't wanted to show any weakness when they'd been in that room.Ryan closed his eyes, raising a hand to his aching head. The last thing he'd wanted to do was to seem weak in front of his boyfriend, to let that place get to him.
But it was impossible not to. After all, he had almost died there. He'd been stabbed, and his lifeblood had flowed out of him as he lay there on the floor. He had been so drained when Stabler found him that he'd been thought to be dead.
He wasn't dead, Ryan told himself firmly. He had lived through Stuckey's vicious assault. Not just that one, but the one that had happened years before.
He had lived through a brutal rape. He was a survivor.
Stuckey was going to brought to justice for that rape, tried for it just as he'd been tried for his attempted murder. And he would be found guilty.
Ryan was sure of that, more sure than he'd ever been of anything. They had incontrovertible evidence that Stuckey had raped him; they weren't just stumbling in the dark with only his memories to rely on. The bastard would be convicted.
It didn't matter that he was already serving a life sentence for the attempted murder of two cops, as well as Ryan. There would be more years tacked onto his sentence.
It didn't even matter that he wouldn't live long enough to serve out his sentence. He would be convicted of his crime, and justice would have been served.
Ryan simply wanted the closure. He wanted to be able to look at Stuckey across a courtroom, say what this man had done to him, and get it off his chest. He wanted to confront Stuckey with the fact that he knew what had happened, that he was no longer a victim.
Then, and only then, would he have the closure he needed. He would be able to walk away from the whole situation, to leave it all behind him.
He would be able to move forward in his life with Mike.
That was really all he wanted, to be able to move ahead in his life with the man he loved. Now that he had found Michael, he wanted them to be happy together.
And they would be, he told himself. This was only a momentary weakness brought on by all the memories that room he used to work in had engendered in him. Memories of Stuckey and what had nearly happened to him there, memories that were better filed away forever.
They would be, Ryan told himself firmly. If he ever had to face that room again, there would be no more weakness. He would be stronger in the future.
But he hoped that he'd never have to be there again, for any reason.
***