Title: No Longer Solo
Pairing: John Reese/Jordan Hester
Fandom: Person of Interest
Table: Holiday Non-Bingo, tv_universe
Prompt: 1, Solo
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely John Reese or Jordan Hester, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***This was the first Christmas he would spend with a lover in a very long time.
John couldn't hold back a small smile as he hefted the bag that contained the bottle of wine he was taking to Jordan's apartment to celebrate Christmas Eve.
He really hadn't been completely solo for the last few years, if he was honest with himself. He'd had Harold, Shaw, Lionel, and, of course, Bear.
Though this year was different. This year, he had Jordan in his heart. Their relationship had grown to the point where he found himself strangely comfortable with thinking of Jordan as his boyfriend, and feeling that they had a future together, something that he hadn't allowed himself to feel with anyone else.
He had become so used to being solo, to not having a future with anyone, that he had gotten into the habit of letting himself believe that he was best that way.
Flying solo had always felt like something he had to do, simply to keep the people he cared about safe. But now, he was starting to question that attitude.
Harold and Shaw had shown him that he didn't always need to be the protector.
He could let the people he cared for share in the danger alongside him. He could let them have his back, trust them to protect him, just as he protected them.
Jordan might not be able to protect in the same way that someone like Shaw could, but Jordan didn't protect his body, John told himself. Jordan protected his heart.
Jordan gave him a hope for the future that he'd never thought he could have again. Even with his work, there had been something inside him that had gone unsatisfied for a long time before he'd met his boyfriend, something that had been hungering for fulfillment.
He had wanted -- and needed -- someone to love, someone to give his heart to. And now that he'd found that person, he was happier than he'd been in a very long time.
There was still a part of him that insisted he should go back to flying solo, that loving someone would only put his heart in danger. But he wasn't going to listen to that little voice.
He'd listened to it for too long. Yes, there was a chance that Jordan could be used against him if his enemies ever found out that the two of them were lovers. But it was a risk that Jordan was willing to take, which meant that he had to be willing to lay his heart on the line, as well.
If Jordan would do that for him, then he had to do it for Jordan. He had to trust that they would be able to get through any danger, any obstacle that was placed in front of them.
Working with Harold had taught him that he didn't need to fly solo all the time, that he could have friends and care about people without inevitably losing them.
Loving Jordan was teaching him to open his heart to more than just friendship.
There would always be danger around them, John thought with a sigh. Given his job, that was inevitable. But he didn't always have to feel that he had to be alone to prevent it.
The people who cared about him wanted to keep him close, in spite of the danger to themselves. And if that was what they wanted, then he was willing to take the risk.
Because the truth was, he was tired of being a solo agent, of keeping his heart under wraps. He was tired of having to always be cautious, of never being able to let his emotions fly free. He wasn't going to do that any more. He was going to let himself reach out, to take risks, no matter how frightening it might be.
After all, he told himself with a slight smile, life was really one big risk, wasn't it? He'd taken risks and they'd paid off. Those risks had brought him a man he loved.
They'd also brought him a life that, in spite of the danger, was one he enjoyed. And one that he intended to keep for a long, long time.
Now that he was no longer solo, that life was more precious to him than ever.
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