Title: Northern Sky
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Brendan Block
Fandom: Doctor Who/Secret Smile
Rating: PG-13
Table: Cadenza challenge, 5_prompts
Prompt: Title -- Northern sky
Warning: past non-con.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Brendan Block, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

Brendan leaned against the door frame of the Tardis, looking out at the bleak, looming coastline. Why had the Doctor wanted to come here? Yes, this was the part of England he was from, but it was a place that he could do with never seeing again.

This place brought back too many bad memories that he'd prefer to let fade away, to shut the door on for good. The Northern coastline, the rugged cliffs, the Northern sky -- they all were a part of his past, and he didn't want that past to intrude on his future.

He didn't want to let that past become a part of him again. Being with the Doctor had enabled him to push that part of himself into the background; he was no longer the man he had been. He'd learned how to control his impulses, how to put others before himself.

No one who had known him when he was younger would have believed that he could be redeemed by love -- especially not the kind of love he'd found. No one would think for a moment that he could fall head over heels in love with a man -- but he had.

His life had turned in a complete circle since he'd been with the Doctor. He'd become the person he had always wanted to be -- the person that he'd barely dared to dream he could become. And he wanted to hold on to that, and not slip back into his old habits.

He'd never intended to be a bad person, Brendan reflected, staring at the lightening sky overhead. He had always been pushed into playing the villain, made to seem that his needs and desires were secondary to everyone else's and that fulfilling them was wrong.

It was best that he'd left this place, and that part of him, far behind. Coming back here only made it all come back so strongly; he could almost feel that dark side of himself rising within him, wanting to get out and prowl, no matter how much he tried to hold it down.

If only that side could have come out when he was dealing with the Master! It had probably stood him in good stead during that brutal attack; if he hadn't had that inner core of strength and darkness, he might have broken much more than he had.

He'd been far more worried about the Doctor than about himself; what the Master had done to him hadn't seemed to matter at the time, even though it had been one of the most painful experiences he'd ever endured. The Doctor's suffering had been paramount, not his own.

All he'd been able to focus on was what the Doctor must have been feeling to see the person he loved treated so brutally; he'd been able to look into the Time Lord's eyes and see the anguish there. That had hurt far more than anything the Master could possibly have done to him.

Had he ever made anyone else feel like that? He hoped not, now that he'd experienced that kind of pain himself. He hoped that no one had never suffered the way that the Doctor had at his hands. He didn't want to be the kind of person who inflicted that kind of pain.

If he hadn't met the Doctor, there was a good chance that he would have become that sort of person, Brendan thought, shuddering at the idea. He would have become more like the Master than the Doctor, a human version of that amoral monster.

He wouldn't let himself sink into the depravity that controlled the Master, Brendan vowed. Even if he hadn't met the Doctor, he didn't think that he would have ever fallen that far -- but there was no way to tell. He had always been on a downward spiral.

What had stopped him? Had it been only falling in love with the Doctor, or had it been the fact that for once in his life, someone had believed in him completely? The Doctor was the first person who had ever given him that kind of unconditional love.

Others had pretended to care for him, but their true colors had eventually shown through. People had only cared about him for what they could get out of him -- and then, once they'd gotten the sex, or the money, or the parties or whatever else they were looking for, they threw him away.

He should have become used to that, he told himself, wincing at the memory. But somehow, he never had. He had always felt that he had to keep clawing his way to the top, forcing the others around him down before they could do the same to him.

And now, he didn't have to worry about that any more. He was with someone who truly loved him, someone who appreciated him for who he was and didn't expect anything from him but his love and loyalty. And that was something he was more than prepared to give.

The Doctor had redeemed him, Brendan thought, a smile starting to curve his lips as he looked up at the sky again, just as the first breaking rays of dawn began to sweep over the horizon, turning the grey sky slowly to cloudless, boundless blue.

"It's a lovely view, isn't it?" the Doctor said softly, coming down from the console to stand beside Brendan. "I can hardly believe you grew up in a place like this, love. It's so wild and untamed, yet at the same time so beautiful it takes my breath away."

"Well, I grew up in a city, you know," Brendan said with a laugh, glancing at the Time Lord. "It wasn't exactly wild and untamed. But I used to come to the shore whenever I could. I always felt a kinship with the wildness of this part of the country."

"And now?" the Doctor asked softly, his gaze on Brendan. "Do you still feel that wildness, Brendan? Or has it been tamed?" His voice was soft, not accusatory at all; one hand moved to rest on Brendan's shoulder, a light touch that was warm and comforting.

"I don't know that I can ever be completely tamed," Brendan mused, his voice thoughtful. "I don't think any person can be. There's a wild side to everyone -- just like that Northern sky can be forbidding and wild when a storm is brewing. But I'm much calmer now."

"You're a lot like that sky, Brendan," the Doctor told him, his voice still soft, his hand squeezing the other man's shoulder gently. "You can be mild and unassuming -- and you can be wild and stormy. And I wouldn't change a single thing about you, for any reason."

Brendan raised a hand to place it over the Doctor's, feeling tears rise behind his eyes. Yes, this man loved him unconditionally, through everything and anything. This was the kind of love he'd searched for all of his life and thought he would never find.

And it was here, under the Northern sky that had always seemed so dark and uncompromising, that he'd finally realized just how much that love meant to him -- and how much it had profoundly changed him, in all the ways that mattered.

Turning away from the sight in front of him, he pulled the Doctor into his arms, bowing his head to kiss those parted lips. Somehow, that Northern sky didn't seem as though it loomed over him so menacingly, now that he had someone by his side when he looked up at it.

***