Title: Proof of Life
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Josef Kostan
Fandom: Doctor Who/Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, fanfic50
Prompt: 11, Death
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Tenth Doctor or Josef Kostan, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
"You know, there are definite advantages to living forever," Josef told the Doctor as they leaned back in the chairs in front of the Tardis' viewscreen, looking at the vision of Earth in front of them. "I'm not surprised that humans are so obsessed with the idea."
The Doctor glanced over at him, his brow furrowing. "If humans knew just what it's like to live for such a long time, they might not think it's such a wonderful gift," he murmured, shaking his head. "Sometimes, the idea of death can seem like a blessing."
"Do you think about it a lot?" Josef's voice held an interest that the Doctor hadn't expected; there was also a note of disbelief, as though he found it hard to believe that the Time Lord could consider death as being a part of the life he led.
"Yes, Josef, I do," he said softly, wondering if this young man, this vampire, ever thought of death as being something that concerned him. "I die every time I regenerate into a new body, you know. I know what death is like. And I know what it's like to come back."
"I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the whole regenerating thing," Josef admitted, shaking his head. "I know you're technically the same person, with the same memories -- but you say that who you are now dies, and you have a different personality."
The Doctor nodded, sighing, unsure of just how to explain what he meant. "Yes, I'll be the same person -- in a sense. I look different, and I have facets to my personality that can be vastly different. But I'm the same person at heart -- literally."
"I don't want you to regenerate," Josef told him, that dark gaze seeming to bore into him, penetrating right into his soul. There was something about Josef's gaze that could cut right to the heart of what he was feeling, pulling his emotions out into the open.
"I don't want to regenerate," the Doctor told him with a sigh. "But if my body is too damaged to repair itself and go one, it's inevitable. I don't want to give up this body. It's the best one I've ever had -- and certainly the most attractive one. But I might have to at some point."
"I'm not going to let it happen," Josef told him, his voice strong and determined. "I'm going to protect you, Doctor. And we're going to find a way to keep that regeneration from happening. I'm not going to lose you for some stupid reason. Not when I can spend forever with you."
The Time Lord's breath caught in his throat at those words, his dark eyes widening in surprise. He hadn't realized that Josef meant to stay here; he hadn't known that the other man wanted to spend eternity as his companion and his lover. They hadn't talked about such things.
He'd simply assumed that because Josef was a vampire, he wouldn't feel that he fit into the Doctor's life as a time traveler. He had thought that this man would want them to have a pleasant interlude together, and then go back to Earth and resume his life there.
"You .... you want to stay with me?" he stammered, unable to believe that he'd heard Josef correctly. It was what he wanted, yes -- to have Josef here with him for all time. But he hadn't thought that his lover felt the same way, that his wish could ever come true.
"How could you think I wouldn't want to stay here?" Josef looked around the Tardis, sweeping an arm out to encompass everything around them. "This ship is amazing. You're amazing. I've never met anybody like you. Hell yeah, I want to stay with you."
The Doctor swallowed hard, trying to ignore the accelerated beating of his hearts. It didn't seem possible that after all the years of searching, all the centuries of wanting someone who would stay with him forever, he'd finally found the person who would.
"I've never felt like I belonged on Earth, not for almost four hundred years," Josef told him, his voice soft. "I always had to hide who I am. I could never feel comfortable, knowing that there were so many people who would kill me if they knew my true nature."
Josef sighed, looking down at the floor as he continued. "Being here with you is the first time that I've felt completely free to be myself in all that time. I always had to hide when I was on Earth, Doctor. With you, there's no hiding. No running. I can just .... be."
"Vampires aren't exactly looked at as being model citizens by humans," the Doctor said softly, knowing who Josef felt. "If humans knew what I was, they'd be after me, too. I know what you're feeling, Josef. I've been in the same position, in a way."
"They'd kill us both if they had the chance," Josef said, his voice expressionless. "I've learned to expect death at any time, Doctor. I don't fear it, and I don't run away from it. I don't even think that I can be taken out all that easily. But I live every day like it's my last."
"That's what everyone should do," the Doctor said, trying to keep his voice soft and gentle. "I don't like to think about death -- but I don't think it's the end of everything. I think we merely go on to the next realm, and learn to deal with whatever might be there."
"I don't." Josef's voice was still flat, as if he didn't want to say the words he was uttering. "When a vampire dies for the final time, our bodies turn to dust. I don't know if I believe that there's some place a soul goes. I'm not even sure I believe that we have souls left."
"I believe that you do," the Doctor told him, turning to the other man and placing a hand on Josef's chest. He could feel the heartbeat there; it was strange to think that a vampire could have a beating heart, but there were a lot of things about Josef's kind that he didn't understand yet.
"I have a heart, Doctor." Josef laid his own hand over the Time Lord's, sighing as his fingers closed over the other man's hand. "Don't ask me how it beats. I'm technically undead -- somewhere between life and death. That's why I'm not afraid of dying. I'm already halfway there."
The Doctor shook his head, getting to his feet and grasping Josef's hand to pull the other man up with him. Wrapping his thin arms around Josef's waist, he drew his lover close to him, resting his forehead on Josef's shoulder for a moment before he raised his head to gaze into those dark eyes.
"I want you to stay here with me," he said softly, his emotion coming through with each word he spoke. "I've wanted that since I first met you, Josef. It doesn't matter to me that you're a vampire. And you're not 'halfway dead.' You're very much alive. I can prove that to you."
Josef raised an eyebrow, looking curious as he tilted his head to the side and regarded his lover. "Yeah? Just how are you going to --" His words were cut off when the Time Lord's lips met his own, the kiss quickly going from gentle to demanding.
When they finally broke away from the kiss, the Doctor was breathless, his senses reeling; all he could do was look at Josef in triumph, wondering if the other man felt just as overwhelmed by their passion for each other as he himself did.
Judging from the look on Josef's face, he was indeed affected just as much as the Doctor was. "Wow," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "You're right. I think I'm definitely alive after that. If I needed any proof of life, you definitely gave it to me."
The Doctor gave Josef a devilish smile, stepping back slightly and moving his hand down to press his palm against the other man's crotch. He raised an eyebrow, smiling when Josef's eyes widened in surprise, his soft laughter bubbling to the surface.
"I think you're very much alive, judging by what I can feel here," he mused, his gaze riveted on Josef's face. "It would be difficult to get hard if you weren't alive, wouldn't it?" He couldn't keep back a smirk as he cupped Josef's balls through the fabric of his jeans.
"If you want to see just how alive I am, I suggest we adjourn this discussion to the bedroom so you can have as much proof of life as you want," Josef whispered, leaning forward to nibble at the Time Lord's earlobe. "Then I can show you, instead of just saying the words."
"Then I think we should get along to the bedroom quickly," the Doctor told him, laughing as he stepped back and reached for Josef's hand to lead him out of the control room. "I have the feeling that we're going to be spending quite a bit of time there."
The Doctor's footsteps quickened as he led them out of the control room, with Josef following right behind him. There would be no more talk of death, the Time Lord told himself. Only the life that they would lead together -- and the wonderful future that lay ahead of them.***
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