Title: Same Heart
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: doctorwho_100
Prompt: 43, Heart
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor peered out of the Tardis' door, looking around anxiously when he didn't see Jamie anywhere at first glance. He raised a hand to his eyes, shading them, squinting against the bright rays of the sun that shone in the sky high above.

Jamie was sitting out on the beach, near where the waves were lapping against the shore. The Doctor was surprised to see him there; this stretch of empty sand had never been one of his lover's favorite places, and coming back here might not have been the best idea.

Yet this beach had been a turning point in their lives, one that the Doctor had never regretted. He might have had doubts at first about whether spiriting Jamie away from what everyone else had expected of him was the best thing to do, but they had quickly dissipated.

Now, he had no doubt in his mind at all that Jamie belonged with him. How could he even have thought of giving his man up? He must have been crazy -- or just exceptionally thick on that particular day, he told himself with a wry smile. But it had come right in the end.

Why was Jamie sitting out there, staring at the waves as though they were mesmerizing him? The Time Lord left the Tardis and walked along the beach to where his lover sat, lowering himself to the ground behind Jamie and letting the other man lean back against him.

"What are you thinking, love?" he asked softly, nuzzling his cheek against the softness of Jamie's hair. "I wouldn't have thought this would be a place you'd want to commune with, considering that we both could have made a big mistake in this very place."

"I was thinking of what it's going to be like if you regenerate while I'm still with you," Jamie murmured, a catch in his voice. "I'll be the only reminder of what you were like in this body -- and I'll grow old and grey and wrinkled. It isn't fair."

"Life is never fair, sweetheart," the Doctor told him with a sigh, raising a hand to stroke his lover's hair. "I learned that a long time ago. We simply have to play the hand we're dealt, and be thankful that we're here at all. We so easily might not be, you know."

Jamie nodded soberly, sighing as he leaned back into the Doctor's embrace. "If you hadn't thought to turn that regenerative energy into your severed hand --" He broke off, shaking his head. "I don't want to think about that time. It's over and done. We can't change it."

"I don't want to think that you could so easily not have been here at all," the Doctor whispered, his lips soft against Jamie's cheek. "But you are here, and we're together .... So what is it that's got you so thoughtful, sweetheart? Tell me."

"When you're a different man -- when you regenerate -- you'll still have the same hearts, won't you?" Jamie asked, his voice halting, as though he had a hard time getting the words out. "I should know the answer to that -- but I don't. And I don't know why."

"Jamie, you can't expect to remember every little thing about being in a Time Lord body," the Doctor told him softly, ruffling his lover's hair. ""And no, I won't have the same hearts. When I get a new body, I'm a new man. The inner organs are new, too. I start all over again."

"I thought so," Jamie whispering, the words trembling on his lips. The Doctor frowned, sliding both arms around Jamie's thin waist and hugging his lover close; he could tell that the other man was worried about something, and he wanted to relieve that anxiety.

"Jamie, love, what is it?" he murmured, his lips brushing Jamie's cheek, then his ear. "I'm not going to regenerate while you're with me. And if I do .... Then I know that I'll still love you. I won't change so much that I won't have the same feelings."

"How do y-you know that?" Jamie asked, his voice trembling even more as he struggled to get the words out. A few tears streaked down one cheek; he raised a hand to wipe them away, not turning his head to look at the Doctor. "You won't have the same heart. You can't love me in the same way."

The Doctor was silent for a few moments; he hadn't thought of this problem arising in their relationship. He didn't know how to explain to Jamie that even though he would be a new man if he regenerated, he would still have the same emotions, the same love in his new hearts.

"That's not true, Jamie," he said softly, hoping that his boyfriend would realize the truth of his words. "My heart might not be the same one -- but my emotions won't change. Even though my face and my body and my personality would change -- I'd still love you. Just the same."

"I wish you would keep the same hearts," Jamie whispered, raising a hand to wipe away more tears. "I'm so afraid that if something happens to make you regenerate -- and I hope it won't -- that nothing will ever be the same between us after that."

"Oh, sweetheart ...." The Doctor couldn't think of words to say; all he could was press his cheek against Jamie's hair and hug the other man. "Jamie, I'll always feel the same way about you. Having new hearts isn't going to make me stop loving you. I could never do that."

"But you'll be a new man." Jamie was crying openly now, tears streaking down his cheeks faster than he could wipe them away. "With a new personality. You might still care about me -- but it won't be the same. It couldn't be. You'll be .... different."

"Not so different that I won't still love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life." The Doctor's voice was trembling now; it was hard to keep back his own tears when the man he loved was so obviously distressed. "I promise you, Jamie. I'll never stop loving you."

"What if I can't love you?" Jamie whispered, the words coming out slowly, hesitantly. "What if you change so much that I can't feel the same any more? What then?" The words were almost a wail; the Time Lord closed his eyes, desolation sweeping over him.

He didn't want to tell Jamie how those words made him feel. If he lost Jamie's love, then he would feel as though he was nothing more than an empty shell, only existing, not living. The prospect of losing someone he cared for had never touched him so deeply before.

But Jamie wasn't just anyone. This man was part of him, blood of his blood, with his memories, his past. This man was also the love of his life, the one person he never wanted to let go. Losing Jamie would literally be like losing a part of himself.

That wasn't going to happen, the Time Lord told himself firmly. Jamie wasn't the kind of person who would stop loving him if he regenerated. Their love wasn't something that would fall apart at the first sign of trouble; they'd already proven that.

"I know one thing," he said softly, placing one hand against Jamie's chest and feeling the strength of his lover's steady heartbeat under the palm of his hand. "Your heart will always have the same love for me. I don't doubt that. I never will, not for one moment."

Jamie sniffled, wiping away the last of his tears and turning his head to nuzzle against the Doctor's throat. "I could never stop loving you," he whispered, his words ringing with sincerity. "Even if you're in a different body -- you're still my Doctor. Aren't you?"

"Yes, Jamie." The Doctor took the other man's face between his hands, his gaze riveted on Jamie's. "I'll always be your Doctor, Jamie. I'll always be the man you love -- and I'll always love you. The world may change around us, but we'll always love each other."

The other man nodded, taking a deep breath and obviously pushing his tears away. "I know, Doctor," he said softly, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against the Time Lord's. "I should never question our feelings for each other. I know they won't go away."

"Never," the Doctor whispered, raising his head and pressing a gentle kiss to Jamie's parted lips. "You'll always have the same heart, Jamie, and it's always going to have the same love for me. And my hearts, even new ones, would still carry the same love for you."

Jamie shook his head, a slight smile curving his lips. "No, Doctor," he murmured, his dark eyes meeting the Doctor's gaze. "Not the same. My love for you is going to keep getting stronger -- and so will your love for me. Stronger with every day that goes by."

The Doctor couldn't answer; his throat was too blocked by his own tears for him to speak. Tears of joy, of gratitude -- of love. A love that he would always feel, even if he didn't always have the same hearts -- and a love that he knew was returned by the heart of the man in his arms.

***