Title: Staying With It
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Michael Cutter/Ryan O'Halloran
Fandom: Law & Order
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Michael Cutter or Ryan O'Halloran, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***
Ryan sighed as he looked up at the clock. It was nearly midnight, and he knew that Mike probably wanted to get home and go to bed. His boyfriend didn't usually stay so late; most of the time, he was gone by ten at night, though he always called when he got home.It was amazing that they lived so close to each other, Ryan thought, glancing over at the other man. It had surprised him to find that Mike's apartment was only four blocks away -- close enough for him to walk here in less than ten minutes.
But he didn't want Mike to go back to that apartment tonight, he thought with a sigh. He wanted this man to stay here, curled up in bed with him. It was Christmas Eve, and neither of them should have to spend the night alone and wait until tomorrow to see each other again.
Still, he'd defer to whatever Mike wanted to do. He wasn't going to push for a more sexual relationship; he was already sure that would happen, and he wanted to let the other man set the tone for that and decide when he was ready to move in that direction.
"What was that sigh for?" Mike asked, looking over at Ryan with a slight frown marring his brow. "You don't sound happy, and that's not a good thing on Christmas Eve. Is something wrong?" He reached out to take Ryan's hand, twining their fingers together and squeezing gently.
Ryan shook his head, wishing that he could say how he felt without sounding to his own ears as though he was being a petulant child who wasn't getting something that he wanted. Well, why couldn't he? They were both big boys, and Mike knew how he felt.
"I don't want you to go home tonight," he said softly, his gaze meeting Mike's. "I know you probably feel like you need to, but I don't want to spend Christmas Eve night alone. I want to make love to you and then spend the rest of the night holding you while we sleep."
"Who said I was planning to go home?" Mike asked, his voice husky. "I'd already made up my mind to stay here before I came over tonight. That is, if you're sure you're up to us spending the night together," he added, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled.
"You're staying?" Ryan's heart seemed as though it had leaped from the region of his chest into his throat in one giant step. He couldn't believe this was happening; at last, at long last, he would be able to make love to the man he'd fallen head over heels for.
All right, so it hadn't been so long -- only a few weeks. But every day had seemed like an eternity to Ryan, especially when he hadn't been working, and all he'd been able to do with his spare time was sit at home and daydream about Mike.
"Of course I am," Mike said softly, reaching out his free hand to cup Ryan's cheek, soft fingertips stroking over the other man's skin. "I told you a few days ago that you'd get what you wanted for Christmas when you said you wanted me. I always keep my promises."
"I don't want you just for tonight, you know," Ryan breathed, moving closer to Mike on the couch and sliding an arm around the other man. "I want you for the rest of our lives. No matter what anybody else might think. I want you in my life forever."
"I intend to be there," Mike told him, getting to his feet and holding out a hand to Ryan with a smile. "Now, are you going to take me to your bedroom and make love to me, or are we going to sit here talking all night?" he asked, his tone almost breathless.
Ryan wasted no time in getting to his feet and leading Mike towards his bedroom; all he could think of was what would happen there in just a few minutes. He'd been anticipating this for what seemed like a lifetime, but he was sure that the reality would be even better than his dreams.
It only took him a moment to strip his t-shirt off and toss it aside, then he began to fumble with the zip of his jeans, watching Mike as he did so. The other man seemed completely self-assured, lying down on the bed and lifting his t-shirt over his head.
All he wanted to do was be inside Mike, to join their bodies until they were both gasping in pleasure. But that would take a little time, Ryan told himself sternly. He wanted to make love to Michael Cutter, not ravage him. They had all night to be with each other.
Pushing his jeans down his legs, he impatiently kicked them off and moved to the bed, looking down at the man lying there. Mike hadn't taken off his pants yet; he was obviously going to let Ryan do that for him. His eyes moved over Ryan's body, obviously appreciating the sight.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, holding out his arms to the younger man. Ryan could have said the same -- if he could have spoken at all. The sight of the man he loved lying there on his bed, offering his body to Ryan, took his breath away.
He reached for the lubricant that he always kept in his bedside table drawer; no doubt they were going to need it. He didn't know how long it had been since Mike was with a man, but Ryan wasn't about to take a chance on hurting him by entering him dry.
First, though, he had to get Mike's jeans off. That didn't prove difficult; it only took a few moments to pop the button and then unzip them, pulling the fabric down Mike's long, slender legs as the other man raised his hips off the bed.
Finally, they were skin to skin, no barriers between their bodies. Ryan's breath caught in his throat as he let his gaze roam over Mike's nude body, wanting to imprint the other man's nakedness on his mind's eye. Clothed, Mike was a handsome man. Naked, he was magnificent.
Carefully popping the cap on the lube, Ryan squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers before moving his hand between Mike's spread thighs, never taking his eyes from that beautiful face. He leaned down to press a gentle kiss to Mike's parted lips -- just as one finger slipped inside the other man.
Mike's hips arched upwards against Ryan's hand, a soft moan coming from his throat, his fingers threading through the younger man's hair. A second finger quickly joined the first, probing gently, opening Mike and preparing him for the pleasure that was to come.
He couldn't wait for long to be inside Mike; within a few moments, he was sliding his fingers out of the other man and pushing those long, slender legs up to Mike's chest. Ryan positioned himself between his boyfriend's spread legs, looking down at him anxiously.
"Are you sure this is what you want, babe?" he whispered, wondering for just a moment if Mike was only doing this tonight because he felt he had to. The last thing he wanted was for this man to feel that he'd been pushed into something he wasn't ready for.
"This is exactly what I want," Mike whispered, his gaze locking with Ryan's. "I want you, Ryan. I've wanted this since the first time we met. It's not too soon, and I'm not doing this under duress. I want us to be together. I want you to be a part of me. Now."
"Ask and you shall receive," Ryan whispered, pressing his hips forward and gasping as he entered a heat so tight, so intense, that it snatched the breath from his lungs. His senses reeled for a moment; his eyes widened, and he gasped Mike's name aloud.
Mike gasped Ryan's name at the same moment, his nails digging into the young man's back. Both of them were shocked by the intensity of the sensations that engulfed them; it felt as though they were lifted on a wave of pure pleasure, a wave that crested high overhead.
Ryan pulled back for just a moment, gazing down at Mike's face for any sign that the other man needed him to go more slowly, or to stop. But all that he could see written on his lover's face was the same ecstasy that he himself was experiencing.
He had known that making love to Mike would be amazing, but he hadn't expected anything like this. It only took a few moments for Ryan to establish a slow rhythm, their bodies moving together in unison as though they were long-time lovers familiar with each other.
Maybe they were, Ryan thought dazedly, another gasp coming from his throat as he pressed inside Mike deeper than before. Maybe that was why they had been so drawn to each other when they'd first met. Maybe they had been together in another life somewhere ....
There was no room in his mind for such speculations now. All that mattered was the beautiful man in his arms, the man who was giving him more pleasure than he would have thought possible. The man he loved above all else in the world.
Love? Yes, this was love. He'd known it from the first kiss -- maybe even from the first love. He loved Michael Cutter. And this was the culmination of that love, the expression of all the feelings that were lodged deep within his heart now, and would only grow in the future.
Within moments they were both crying out and shuddering with their mutual orgasms; it amazed Ryan that their bodies were so in sync that they could even come within seconds of each other. He'd never experienced such a strong connection to anyone he'd ever been with before.
Reluctantly, he pulled out of Mike slowly, turning over onto his side and taking the other man into his arms. For long moments, neither of them spoke; their breathing mingled in the quiet of the room, their bodies still awash in the afterglow of their lovemaking.
Finally, Mike broke the silence between them. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart," he said softly, nuzzling his cheek against Ryan's neck. "I hope that was exactly what you wanted for Christmas -- and I hope that getting it as much as you want when it's not a holiday won't make you get tired of it."
Ryan laughed softly, shaking his head. "Get tired of you? That's never going to happen, beautiful," he declared, pressing a gentle kiss to Mike's forehead. "I love you so much, Mike," he whispered, the words coming out before he could stop them.
"I love you, too," Mike told him, his voice breaking on the words. "I'm scared to say that, Ryan. I always lose the people I love. But I'm willing to take a chance with you, if you can do the same with me. And maybe this time, we'll both win."
"I know we will," Ryan told him, smoothing a stray lock of hair back from the other man's forehead. "We're going to be staying with it for a long time, Mike. This is just the beginning. And years from now, we'll still be just as much in love as ever -- if not more."
Mike didn't answer; he only snuggled closer into Ryan's embrace and closed his eyes with a contented sigh. But Ryan knew that his lover felt the same, and he was determined to make his words come true -- not only in the faraway future, but every day of their lives together.
***