Title: Stormy Weather
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: past Jack/Doctor
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 30_losses
Prompt: 7A, Stormy night
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Tenth Doctor, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor stood on a high hill above Cardiff, looking down at the city beneath him and then up at the storm clouds that threatened to unleash heavy rain. A sharp metallic scent was in the air, one that spoke of the coming storm that already rumbled through the sky.

That storm was somewhat reminiscent of what he was called by several of his enemies, wasn't it? The Doctor smiled wryly at the thought, leaning against the doorframe of the Tardis as he peered up at the sky again. Yes, it definitely looked as though the storm could break at any moment.

Almost without him realizing it, his gaze drifted to the city spread out far below him, and a sigh escaped his lips. Jack was down there, in the Hub -- unless the team was out somewhere. But that didn't seem likely; Cardiff looked rather quiet today.

And besides, he hadn't sensed any sort of disruption in the city when the Tardis had landed here. Not that he would, really, he told himself with a soft sigh -- but a part of him wanted to grasp at any straw that he might be able to use as an excuse to go into the city.

The truth was, he wanted to see Jack. He hungered for some sort of physical contact with his former lover, even if it was only being in his presence. Most of all, he wanted to be there in the Hub when everyone else had gone home and he could be alone with Jack ....

The Doctor sighed again, closing his eyes and letting himself daydream. He was all too familiar with what would more than likely happen; it had already taken place several times before, and if he went to the Hub, tonight would be no exception.

The only problem with giving himself that sort of time with Jack was that he would still leave Cardiff alone. Jack would stay there in the Hub, secure in his job with Torchwood, feeling that he was doing the right thing by not going with him -- and he would leave a piece of his hearts behind.

He didn't want to deal with that again. Every time he saw Jack, the pain of their parting was brought back to him just as keenly as when it had first struck him that his lover was leaving, and that they might never be together again in the way they had been.

At least that hadn't proven to be true; they had been together again, several times, in fact. But it had always felt rushed, even secretive; the Doctor was sure that the rest of the team knew what was going on with them, but it was never acknowledged.

It was almost as though Jack wanted to keep what they shared completely separate from his life with Torchwood; the Doctor wasn't exactly a dirty little secret, but he was something that Jack chose to keep in the shadows of his life, tucked away into the background.

How long had it taken him to admit to himself that he and Jack were never going to be a couple again? It had been a hard realization to face up to, but he'd finally done it. Yet still, he kept hanging on, coming back to Cardiff when he didn't need to be here.

Why was he doing this to himself? The Doctor shook his head, closing his eyes and letting out another heavy sigh as he slumped against the Tardis. It was more than obvious that he should shake himself out of this, find another companion, and go on about his life.

After all, he and Jack had never been what anyone could call the perfect couple. Their relationship had been a stormy one at the best of times. Jack wasn't the kind of man who could be expected to be with one person for any length of time; he should have known that from the beginning.

But yet .... even with all of the stormy weather that the two of them had lived through, the good times had been better than good. They'd been the best days -- and nights -- of the Doctor's life, times that he wouldn't have given up for any reason.

That was what kept him coming back here, wasn't it? The vague hope that one day, just maybe, Jack would realize that in spite of the storms they'd been through when they were together, those had been the best times of his life, as well.

The Doctor fixed his gaze on the city, his eyes going to the place where he knew the Hub was. Was Jack there? Was he, even at this moment, looking up into the sky and wondering where the Doctor was? Was the man he loved thinking of him?

Or was he going about his business, living his life without a thought for the Doctor and what the two of them had shared? Both of those scenarios were possible; he had no way of knowing which one was the truth. He would never ask, and Jack would never tell.

The Time Lord looked up as a rumble of thunder sounded, spreading ominously through the silence of the late afternoon. He held his breath as he looked up at the storm clouds overhead; at any moment now, they would open up and send sheets of rain pouring down.

At the moment that thought crossed his mind, another rumble of thunder moved across the sky -- and then the rain began to come down. Not just a light, gentle rain, but gusts of rain that threatened to drench the Doctor before he could step back into the protection of his ship.

Hastily, he closed the door, going slowly up the steps and to his favorite chair by the console. Leaning back, he clasped his hands behind his head, looking up at the ceiling and wondering if it would be worth the trouble to go into Cardiff looking for Jack.

No, it wasn't. Not if he really weighed the pros and cons. The best that he would get was another night or two with his former lover, and a larger hole in his hearts when he had to leave. And he would have the heartache of seeing Jack turn away from him yet again.

Their relationship had always been stormy, but there had also been resolutions after the storms. That was gone now, both the storms and the sweetness that had always followed them. In some ways, he missed that stormy weather between them more than he could say.

They were much like the storm that now raged outside the ship, he thought, glancing at the viewscreen as another crack of thunder rolled across the sky, followed by a flash of lightning. Though now, it seemed as though the two of them were in a lull that would never spring back to life.

Sighing, the Time Lord stood up and leaned over the console, pressing a few buttons and closing his eyes. He didn't look at the viewscreen again as the blue box shimmered into nothingness in the midst of the storm, leaving not a single trace behind to indicate that it had ever been there.

***