Title: Strength To Endure
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: Buffet 2, fc_smorgasbord
Prompt: 78, Fragile
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor turned over in bed, spooning behind Jamie and wrapping his arms securely around the other man's waist. It felt so good to be able to snuggle up to his lover again; he'd been afraid to do so for a long time, not wanting Jamie to push him away.

Not that the man he loved would have ever done that, he told himself. Jamie would have accepted the embrace, but he wouldn't have been comfortable with it. Not after what he'd been through, that experience that he still couldn't get out of his mind.

They'd finally leapt that abyss that had seemed to put so much distance between them in the physical sense; Jamie seemed completely comfortable with their intimacy now, and the Doctor was grateful that his lover had been able to put his fears behind him.

But even though Jamie had gotten past his fears of being the more submissive partner in their intimate moments, he was still fragile. The Doctor could still sense the vulnerability in him that had become more pronounced over the past months.

He wasn't going to try to push Jamie into anything that he didn't want; if his boyfriend wanted to be made love to, then Jamie would set the pace, and he would le tthe Doctor know when he was ready for that kind of intimacy. He wasn't going to be impatient.

If only he'd been able to protect Jamie, to keep him from any kind of harm, the Doctor thought, a slight shudder going through his body as he snuggled more closely against his lover. He should have known that his enemies would be watching and waiting in the shadows.

Jamie had told him time and time again that he didn't expect to be protected, but he was human. He needed the protection that the Doctor felt he shuold be able to offer -- and he couldn't help feeling guilty that he'd failed to provide that protection.

Of course, Jamie would argue that statement and say that part of being the Doctor's companion was being there to watch his back. But Jamie was still learning how to exist as a human; he had the tendency to put himself into situations that weren't easy to get out of.

The Doctor had to admit that his lover was learning not to do that so much any more, but he still had a hard time coping with the fact that he had a Time Lord's mind inside a human body. He was still getting used to the limitations of that body.

It would take Jamie a long time to do that -- if he ever managed it. The Doctor was almost positive that he would never quite be able to come to terms with the fact that he was human, even though the single heart beating in his chest reminded him of that fact every day of his life.

He would always be much more fragile inwardly than he might give any indication of being on the outside -- and the Doctor was trying to watch carefully for that fragility to show. Jamie wore his armor well, but the cracks in any armor always began to show in time.

His own armor had cracked time and time again in his encounters with the Master -- and no matter how strong he thought he was once he'd built it up again, it always either cracked or fell apart at some point. And Jamie was even more fragile than he himself was.

That fragility didn't always show. Jamie was one of the bravest people he'd ever met -- even knowing his limitations, he didn't back down from what he thought was right. But even with that kind of bravery and strength to endure, he still had to deal with the frailties of a human body.

He didn't mind that Jamie was human, the Doctor told himself, his arms tightening around his lover's slim waist. He loved this man -- it didn't matter to him what race Jamie was. All that mattered was that they were together, for however long they could be.

Jamie was the one who was bothered by his humanity, by his own fragility. Of course, he had a right to be -- he was, after all, used to being a Time Lord. It had to be nearly impossible to reconcile his Time Lord brain to being encased in a human body.

The Doctor couldn't even begin to imagine what it must be like, knowing that he would age and die at an exponentially rapid rate from what he was used to. And that at the end of that relatively short life, there would be no regeneration, no coming back as a new man.

He'd never judge Jamie because he was more fragile -- no, he would only try his best to protect his lover, to keep him safe in every way that he possibly could. And he knew that Jamie would do the same for him, even though he'd be taking a far greater risk in doing so.

How could he not love someone who was so utterly devoted to him? How could anyone ever believe that he could possibly turn his back on a man who completed in the way that Jamie did, who was literally a part of himself that he couldn't live without?

Jamie was connected to him in a way that no one else had ever been -- or would ever be, the Doctor told himself, raising a hand to stroke his fingers lightly through his lover's hair. He very seriously doubted that there would ever be another even like the one that had brought Jamie into existence.

At least, he certainly hoped not. Once was enough for something like that to happen -- and even if it were to be somehow recreated and another duplicate of himself came into being, that duplicate wouldn't be Jamie. There couldn't ever be two of him.

No one could ever replace the man he loved. Once Jamie was gone, there would never be anyone else like him, even if by then he could somehow create a million clones of himself as he was now, only in human form. Jamie was one of a kind.

That fragility was something that he'd grown to cherish in the other man. Jamie might look at it as being a liability, but to the Doctor, it was a part of what made him who he was -- and part of what had drawn him to the other man, knowing that Jamie needed him.

Jamie might dislike feeling that he was more fragile than the Doctor, but to the Time Lord, their strengths complemented each other's weaknesses. True, Jamie had some drawbacks in that he was human, but he was strong in so many other ways.

The two of them were perfect partners in every way, the Doctor told himself, smiling at the thought. They knew each other better than anyone else possibly could -- after all, they were part of each other, in ways that others couldn't begin to fathom.

Even if Jamie was more fragile than he was in the physical sense, he would make it through whatever situations they might find themselves thrown into. Because deep down, even in a human body, Jamie had his own resourcefulness and a well of strength.

The Doctor smiled as his lover stirred and began to turn over in his embrace. This was a wonderful way to start the day, he thought, moving closer to the other man under the covers. And with a little luck, they'd be able to stay right here for quite a while before they felt the need to come up for air.

***