Pairing: John Reese/Jordan Hester
Fandom: Person of Interest
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely John Reese or Jordan Hester, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***Jordan sat up in bed, watching John as the other man got to his feet and stretched. He couldn't help admiring the long, lean lines of John's body -- the body that had so recently been all over his own. The body that he wanted beside his again as soon as possible.
He held back a sigh of regret, knowing that John probably had a lot of things to do today. He had the day off, but he had plenty to do to keep him busy -- though he wasn't interested in any of that right now. All he wanted to do was daydream about when he would see John again.
That was something they needed to talk about, Jordan told himself as he swung his long legs over the side of the bed, hoping that John would stay and have breakfast with him so they could talk about the parameters of their relationship. It was something they needed to take care of.
It could wait, of course -- but Jordan was afraid that if they put off that talk, they would never have it. He didn't want to spend his life waiting for John to show up unexpectedly as he had last night; he wanted to know that they had a future together, one that was settled and secure.
How secure could any relationship with a man like John be? Jordan wanted to push that thought into the back of his mind and ignore, but he knew that he couldn't. He would have to consider a lot of factors about being in this relationship, both good and bad.
"We need to talk," he said softly, standing up and sliding his arms around John's waist. "I know it might seem a little soon in the relationship to have a serious talk about where we're heading, but I'd like to get it all out in the open from the beginning -- that is, if we do have a future."
"Of course we do," John told him, turning in his arms to face him. "Jordan, I wouldn't have spent the better part of last night making love to you if I just intended to walk out on you in the morning. But I have to warn you, being involved with me won't be the easiest thing in the world."
"I didn't think it would be," Jordan answered, his voice quiet. Disentangling himself from their embrace, he moved across the room to pick up a robe that had been tossed over the back of a chair, going to his closet and getting another one to hand to John. "Here. I think it'll fit."
John nodded and shrugged into the robe, tying it at his waist before moving to slide his arm around Jordan's waist again. "Let's have some coffee and talk," he said softly, then leaned closer to whisper into Jordan's ear. "And then let's take a shower together."
Jordan's heart seemed to leap into his throat at those last words; his body was already responding to the ideas they put into his head, his muscles tightening, his breath coming faster. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to relegate those feelings to the back of his mind -- for now.
"I'd love that," he murmured as he led the way to the kitchen of his spacious apartment, glad that he was living in a much better place than the one he'd been in when he and John had first met. That, too, was due to John, he told himself.
If John Reese hadn't come into his life and helped him, he might still be living in a tiny apartment that he could barely afford on a bar-back's paycheck, wondering just how his life had gone down the tubes. And that woman might still be using his name -- and destroying it.
But that wasn't happening, Jordan's inner voice told him, sounding strong and firm. Thanks to John, his life was back on track now -- and it looked as though it was heading in a direction that Jordan very much wanted it to go in, if he was lucky.
Jordan went through the motions of making coffee, getting down two mugs from the cabinets, filling the coffeepot, and putting the cream and sugar on the table. John watched him, a slight smile on his lips, as if he was drinking in every movement that Jordan made.
He'd never been watched like this before; Jordan had to admit that it made him a little nervous, even though he liked it at the same time. There was a sense of protectiveness, of being watched over and taken care of, that he'd never had before. He liked that feeling.
When he finally sat down and put the coffeepot on the table between them, John leaned forward and smiled at him -- a full-blown smile this time, not merely the slight uplifting of the corners of his lips. "You don't have to be nervous, Jordan," he said softly. "I'm not going anywhere."
"I know you can't tell me everything about what you do," Jordan began, taking a deep breath as he stirred sugar into his coffee. "But what can you tell me, John? What's it going to be like for me to be with a guy who can't be completely honest with me about who he is?"
"I don't want to lie to you, Jordan," John said, his voice still soft, but with a hint of steel underneath the words. "But I can't tell you everything about myself. It's not that I don't want to -- but I don't want to put you in danger. And I haven't led a blameless life."
Jordan shrugged, raising his gaze to John's. "None of us has," he murmured, sipping at his coffee. "I'm not some kind of perfect angel, either. Even before I had my identity stolen, I wasn't always the best person I could be -- even though I've always tried to be a good guy."
"That's one of the things that drew me to you," John told him, reaching across the table to take his hand. "Don't let that change, okay? I know it's not going to be easy for you to be with someone who can't tell you everything. But I'm not going to shut you out, either."
"I know you won't." Jordan shook his head, looking down into the swirls in his coffee mug, then back up at John. "It just feels weird, knowing that I'm probably not going to see you sometimes when I think I will, and that you're going to be throwing yourself into the path of danger a lot."
"I'll try to do that less now that I have someone to come home to," John said with a smile, raising his mug to take a sip of coffee, his eyes meeting Jordan's over the rim. Jordan waited for him to elaborate on what he'd said, feeling hope rise within him.
John might not be able to tell him everything about who he was and what he did, but at least this man trusted him enough to reach out to him. It might not a commitment, but it was the best he could get, and he would take whatever John was willing to give him.
"My partner and I try to help people," John began, taking a deep breath before he spoke again. "That's all I can tell you for now, Jordan. But you already knew that, after what we did for you. The details of what we do aren't always palatable, and I don't want to have to sugarcoat them."
"Nothing has to be sugarcoated," Jordan told him, shaking his head. "Just tell me whatever you need to tell me, John. Whatever it is, I'll accept it. It might sound crazy, but I want to keep you in my life at all costs. I'm not going to back away, no matter what you tell me about yourself."
"There's not much to tell -- at least, not much that I can tell about what I do, or about my past," John said, his voice hesitant. "All I can say is that I'll tell you whatever I think you need to know -- and I hope that later, I'll be able to tell you more."
Jordan nodded, knowing that was the best John could do for the moment. It wasn't all that he wanted to know about this mysterious man who had so unexpectedly become his lover -- but it was enough. John would tell him more when he could -- and when he wanted to.
"I trust you," he said softly, placing his hand on top of John's. "It doesn't matter what you do, or how much you want to tell me about who you are -- or not tell me, as the case may be. I accept you for who you are, John -- and for what you mean to me."
"Just trust me," John whispered, taking Jordan's hand in both of his, that intense gaze never leaving Jordan's face. "I'll tell you more about myself when I can, Jordan. For now, I hope the fact that I love you is enough. Just hold on to that, and trust m as much as you can."
"I do," Jordan murmured, his throat tightening as he spoke the words. "I trust you with my life, John." The words were true, he realized as he said them. There was nothing he wouldn't do for this man -- and nothing that he wouldn't trust John with. He had put himself into his lover's keeping.
"Anything that I might tell you about myself won't be sugarcoated," John said, his voice carrying a warning. "I don't want to chase you away, Jordan. I want us to have a future together. But you've got to know that there are some things about my past that might bother you."
Jordan shook his head, standing up and leaning across the table. He brushed his lips against John's, then sat down again to look the other man directly in the eye. "Nothing you can tell me would change my mind about wanting to be with you. I'm in this for the long haul."
"So am I," John said with another smile, lifting his coffee mug to his lips and taking a swallow. "We might not move along as fast as some other couples do, but we'll get to where we're going, Jordan. And we won't have to sugarcoat anything for each other along the way."
Jordan leaned back in his chair, smiling at John across the table. He might not know much about this man, but he liked what little he did know. And that was a place to start, he told himself. He knew all that he needed to know, and for the moment, that was good enough for him.
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