Title: The Way Home
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Brendan Block
Fandom: Doctor Who/Secret Smile
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, fanfic50
Prompt: 29, Home
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Brendan Block, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

"Do you ever think of going back home, Brendan?" the Doctor asked as the two of them lay in bed, his head pillowed on Brendan's shoulder. "I mean, is there nothing there that would make you want to go back, to right some wrongs or just to see your home again?"

Brendan had been absently ruffling the Doctor's hair; abruptly, the movement stopped, and his body tensed beside the Time Lord's. The Doctor felt a momentary dismay; that was probably a question that would have been better left unasked.

He half-expected Brendan to get out of bed, to push him aside without speaking and stalk off to another one of the bedrooms in the Tardis. His boyfriend hadn't done that yet, not in any argument they'd had. But there was always a first time.

The Doctor held his breath, closing his eyes and waiting to feel Brendan getting out of bed. But despite his fears, it didn't happen. Instead, the other man sighed, leaning back against the pillows and shifting slightly to pull the Doctor closer against him.

"I've thought about it sometimes," he admitted, his voice soft and a little hesitant. "But I always convince myself that going back home wouldn't be a good idea for me. I've left too much baggage behind, and I don't want to pick it all up again."

The Time Lord nodded slowly, understanding what Brendan meant. There were so many people on Earth who were more than ready to believe the worst of him -- some who might even resent the happiness that he'd found in their relationship and try to sabotage it.

"There are so many people who believe that I was responsible for my parents' death -- and for others," Brendan continued, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I wasn't, but they'll never believe that. I have no desire to go back to that kind of suspicion."

"I don't blame you, love," the Doctor said, sliding his arms around Brendan's waist and snuggling close against him. "I just worry sometimes that you might miss Earth. Not your personal home in general -- I know that's not somewhere you'd want to go back to. But your home planet."

"I'm not sure whether I do or not," Brendan mused, his tone going from hesitant to thoughtful. "I've never really considered myself a resident of Earth -- even though before I met you, I had no clue that so many different places existed outside of what humans know."

"What do you mean?" The Doctor was interested in hearing what Brendan had to say; he'd never thought that his boyfriend could feel that he didn't fit in on his own planet, with his own species. "You must have had some people who made you feel connected to Earth."

"No, not really." Brendan shook his head, the expression on his face regretful. "At one time, I might have thought that I had friends -- but when all the suspicion about my parents came down on me, the people I'd thought I could trust backed away."

"You don't have any friends who you miss and would like to see?" the Doctor persisted, his hearts aching for the man beside him. He'd known that Brendan was something of a lone wolf -- but he hadn't known that things were this lonely for him in his own world.

"I have ....acquaintances." Brendan shrugged as though the question didn't mean much, but the Doctor knew his lover too well by now to believe the implied carelessness. The fact that he wasn't close to anyone on Earth cut into Brendan; the Doctor could feel that all too well.

With anyone else, he might have felt pity for them -- but with Brendan, he only felt a strong surge of protectiveness. To hell with anyone who didn't appreciate Brendan for the person he was, the Time Lord thought. They were too shortsighted to look beyond what was said about him.

He had looked behind that veil, that mystery that Brendan surrounded himself with -- and he'd found a man who might be a bit prickly and defensive on the outside, but who had a good heart and a generous nature, if he was given the chance to express it.

"You don't have to feel that Earth is your home any more, you know," he said softly, wishing that he could take back the questions he'd asked. Now, in the light of Brendan's answers, they seemed callous and insensitive, as though he'd been prying where he didn't belong.

"I don't," Brendan told him, a smile turning up the corners of his mouth. "My home is here. It has been ever since the first time we made love. I've never felt like I really belonged anywhere else, even when I was a kid. But I feel that I belong here, with you."

"You do," the Doctor whispered, feeling a lump start to form in his throat. He felt badly that he could ever have thought that Brendan might feel more comfortable on his home planet than he did here. He should never have thought that, not before he'd discussed it with Brendan.

"I was surprised that the Tardis seemed to accept me so readily as a part of your life," Brendan said, glancing at the Doctor with raised brows. "Was that due to you, or did she really accept me? I've been wondering about that for a while."

"It may have been due to the fact that I was so attracted to you at first," the Time Lord admitted, feeling a slight blush rise to his cheeks. "But it didn't take her long to accept you for yourself, Brendan. She can sense when someone is a good person, no matter what image they may try to project."

Brendan laughed ruefully, shaking his head. "All right, I'll admit that I was trying to give out a sort of .... well, a bad-arse image at first. It had become second nature to me, after the people I'd had to deal with for most of my life. It's refreshing to be able to just be myself now."

"You'll never have to put on that kind of a front again," the Doctor said firmly. "Not for me, and certainly not for the Tardis. We both know what sort of a person you are inside, Brendan, even if others can't accept that. What anyone else thinks isn't important."

"I couldn't care less what anyone else might think of me," Brendan said, his voice soft and husky. "The only opinion that matters to me is yours. And the only home I want to have is wherever you are. I belong with you -- no matter where that might happen to be."

"You'll get no arguments from me," the Doctor murmured, lifting his face to look up at his lover and realizing that Brendan had bowed his head for a kiss. As their lips met, the Doctor could only think that on the fateful day that they had found each other, they had both found their way home.

***