Title: Time Will Crawl
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Peter Carlisle
Fandom: Doctor Who/Blackpool
Rating: R
Table: 5
Prompt: 5, Forever
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Peter Carlisle. Please do not sue.

***

Peter lay in bed with the Doctor, staring up at the ceiling, his eyes wide. He'd been wakeful for the last few nights, unable to sleep, though the Time Lord seemed to have no problem falling into slumber. He really needed to find out why he was having so much trouble sleeping.

No matter how much he turned the matter over in his mind, he couldn't come to any kind of a satisfactory answer. Why couldn't he sleep? Why did he have this nagging worry in the back of his mind that seemed to stay with him all the time?

He sighed softly, looking down in the sudden worry that he'd woken the Doctor. But the Time Lord slept on, cradled in Peter's arms, oblivious to the wakefulness that consumed his lover. Peter breathed a sigh of relief. At least he wasn't bothering the other man by being awake.

Peter eased himself onto his side, being careful not to disturb the sleeping man in his arms. The Doctor stirred slightly, then snuggled closer to his side, and Peter coudn't keep back a smile. There was something comforting about having the man he loved sleep in his arms.

He'd never been this close to anyone before, not even when he was involved with Natalie. He'd thought that was love -- and maybe, for the person he was at the time, it had been. But it was nothing compared to what he felt for the Doctor.

And maybe that was what had been gnawing at him so much lately, Peter realized, his eyes opening wide with the realization. Maybe the worry that was keeping him awake so much lately was his fear of the Time Lord leaving him at some point.

That wasn't going to happen, he told himself fiercely, wanting to push the thought away to the back of his mind and bury it so deeply it would never see the light again.

But was it? Peter had to hold back another sigh, closing his eyes and trying to force himself to relax. The Doctor had been to so many places -- so many galaxies -- so many different times, seen so much. He'd met so many interesting people ....

People who were far more interesting for a man like the Doctor than Peter thought he could ever be. Eventually, the Time Lord would have to get tired of him. Especially as he grew older. Aging wasn't going to endear him to anyone.

He didn't want to think about that, about the inevitability of their relationship changing in that way. He hated to think of growing older and more feeble, of having to depend on the Doctor to take care of him in ways that he didn't have to now.

What would happen to them when he inevitably aged and the Doctor didn't? He had no idea if the Time Lord would keep looking as young as he did now, but given what the other man had told him about his physiology, he had the feeling that the Doctor wouldn't age very rapidly.

Truth be told, it frightened him terribly to think that he could lose the man he loved to something like aging. He didn't think that the Doctor was the kind of person who would want to be rid of him because he was getting older, but there were things to consider.

After all, he was supposed to be the Doctor's companion, wasn't he? To protect him in the ways that he could. And he wouldn't be able to do that very well when he was old and grey.

Aging wasn't something he'd ever wanted to think about; it had always seemed so far in the future that he wouldn't have to think about it for a long time. And anyway, he'd always thought that his job would ensure he wouldn't live to make it to a ripe old age.

That had been what he'd wanted, for a while. To throw himself into his work, and never have to face the fact that he was alone. He'd thought that was how he was going to end up -- alone for the rest of his life. But that was before the Doctor had come barreling into his existence.

It had started as nothing but a fling, a way to mend his broken heart. But it had so quickly turned into more than that, and he'd found himself thinking that this was the love that was going to last forever even before he'd said the word "love" aloud.

Forever. He'd thought that his last relationship was going to last that long, but he'd never even had a proper concept of what "forever" was until he'd fallen in love with the Doctor. How could he? He'd never known anyone who was capable of understanding the broad scope of the word.

He couldn't give anyone forever. He knew that he had a short life span compared to the Doctor's, and he wasn't going to even suggest that they'd be together until the end of the other man's life. After all, he had more than one life, more than one body. Peter didn't.

If only he did, he thought wistfully, then rapidly closed the door on that thought. No, he didn't want to think about that. What if the Doctor didn't feel the same about him if he didn't look like this? Or worse, what if his feelings for the Doctor changed?

That was something he'd have to deal with if the Doctor regenerated, he told himself grimly, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't want to think about it. The man he loved in another body, one that might be distasteful to him .... No. It didn't bear dwelling on.

A shudder went through his body at the idea. It might be something he'd have to accept at some point, but until that time was upon him, he was better not letting the thought into his mind.

If only something could happen that would allow them to spend eternity together -- in these bodies, never changing, with their feelings for each other only growing deeper. Peter smiled wryly at the thought. Things like that only happened in fairy tales.

But really .... his whole relationship with the Doctor was like a fairy tale. The way they'd met, the instantaneous attraction to each other, the feelings that had blossomed in just a few hours. It was the most remarkable thing he'd ever experienced in his life.

He'd always been prone to falling in love too quickly and easily -- but this wasn't just love. There was something more to his feelings for the Doctor, something that he couldn't put into words. It went deeper than his heart, his emotions; it was a part of his very soul.

Funny how he'd thought he felt that way about Natalie -- and how he'd wanted to move heaven and Earth for her. He'd tried, he really had. But that had only been a child playing with toys. Now that he knew what real love was like, he wasn't going to let it slip away from him.

Maybe if he was lucky, time would crawl. Maybe he would be able to spend all of his life with the Doctor, and the worries and fears he had were ridiculous. But they would probably always be there, in the back of his mind, waiting to jump out when he least expected them.

Peter couldn't help wondering if the Doctor ever had these kinds of worries about their relationship, as well. But it wasn't something he felt as though he could ask; what if the Time Lord's answer was yes, and he found out more than he wanted to know?

No, he was better off keeping his worries and fears to himself, and hoping that what he thought of as "forever" would be enough for the man he loved. Even if it wasn't, by the time they'd been together for years, wouldn't it be nearly impossible for them to part?

Nearly. It was that "nearly" that worried him the most. What if he found that the Doctor couldn't deal with his humanity after all, and that he'd spent his life loving someone who would ultimately leave him and become nothing more than a memory, a dream?

He shivered, wrapping his arms more tightly around the Doctor. He didn't want to lose this man. Not now, and not years from now. He wanted them to grow old together, to love each other until their final breaths.

The Doctor stirred in his arms, awakened by Peter's crushing embrace. He coughed slightly, his eyes opening, looking up curiously at his lover.

"Peter?" he inquired, his voice soft and husky with sleep. "Is something wrong? I thought you were going to crush me for a minute there. If you were holding me any tighter, I'd probably have a broken spine." He regarded the other man with a worried frown. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Peter shook his head, forcing his uncomfortable thoughts to the back of his mind and running a gentle hand through the Doctor's hair. He didn't want to upset the Time Lord by bringing the subject up, not when he was barely awake.

"No, sweetheart, I'm fine," he assured the other man, feeling the Doctor relax in his arms. "I just haven't been able to sleep well lately. I'm sorry I woke you up .... is there anything I might be able to do to make up for it?"

From the gleam in the Doctor's eyes, Peter was sure that there was plenty he could do to apologize for waking the Time Lord from his rest. And he was also sure that they weren't going to be sleeping for quite a while.

But that didn't matter, did it? he asked himself with an inward smile. If he was tired enough -- physically as well as mentally -- then he'd be able to sleep. And hopefully, the thoughts that had been plaguing him would take a holiday. Preferably a long one.

The Doctor's arms wound around his neck, pulling him down to the other man, that slender body pressing against his insistently.

"Oh, I think there are several ways you could make it up to me," the Doctor murmured, echoing Peter's thoughts of just a few moments ago. "If you can't sleep, it's my duty to tire you out enough for you to get some rest."

"That's just what I thought you'd say," Peter laughed, determinedly pushing his disquieting thoughts to the back of his mind and shutting the door on them. He didn't need to think about them now. Or at any other time, as far as he was concerned.

After all, what did forever matter? What did the future matter? They could deal with the future when it came around. The important thing was that he was with the man he loved in the here and now -- and that he meant to make the most of that while he could.

***