Title: To the Heart
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Giacomo Casanova
Fandom: Doctor Who/Casanova (Masterpiece Theater)
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3
Prompt: 28, Sixth Sense
Author's Note: The character of Giacomo Casanova is based on the BBC version of Casanova starring David Tennant.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Giacomo Casanova. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor leaned against the bridge railing, looking out at the waves that seemed to stretch out forever. This would be the place to come to disappear, he told himself; no one here would know him, no one would find him. He would just be another anonymous body that washed up on the banks ....

That was why he'd come here, wasn't it? To end everything, to become just another person who was battered by the winds of fate. Though if he wanted to be completely honest with himself, he wasn't anonymous here. There was one person who knew him -- and knew him well.

He couldn't be here and not see Giac. There was some sixth sense that had drawn him back to the time where he'd met the young Italian; something that had made him set the Tardis controls for this century, this particular place, when he'd stumbled back into the Tardis after talking to Jack.

Or had he come here simply to say goodbye? That was something he hadn't quite managed to figure out in his headlong flight from the 21st century. He'd simply wanted to get away from wherever Jack was, as quickly as he could, and for some reason, this was the first place and time he'd thought of.

Strange, that of all the places he could have chosen to go, he would have come here. Maybe there was some reason that his mind hadn't revealed to him yet.

He had to see Giac. Even if it was for what would probably be the last time, he couldn't depart his life without at least setting eyes on the Italian once more. What had been between them was too strong for him to leave Giac behind without at least some sort of farewell.

Giac. The Doctor's eyes filled with tears thinking of his name. Short for Giacomo. The Italian version of .... Jack. Why did he seem to be unswervingly attracted to men with that name? It was probably one more thing about him that would always be a mystery -- even to himself.

If he thought about what had led him here, it didn't entirely make sense that he would feel this pressing need to see Giac again. He'd left the 21st century with the intent of doing away with himself -- so why had he come to a place where there was a person who might be able to talk him out of it?

He couldn't know that Giac would find him, of course. There was no way to go looking for him in this crowded city, either. He'd have no idea where to start; it was only coincidence that they had been at the same masked ball the first time he'd decided to come here and they'd met.

Maybe it would be enough to just be in the place that Giac lived, to know that there was someone here who he had shared part of his life -- and part of his hearts -- with. Maybe that would be enough to give him the strength to do what he'd come here for.

The Doctor shook his head, closing his eyes and sighing softly. It wasn't fair to Giac for him to come here with such a morbid intention. He couldn't see his former lover and let him know just what he intended to do. It was too much to ask of anyone.

Especially someone who cared about him as much as Giac did. No, he couldn't see the Italian. He had no right to leave Giac with that sort of a last memory of him.

He would have to content himself with walking around Venice tonight, telling himself that Giac was here, somewhere, living the life he'd always been intended to live before he'd met the Doctor. It wouldn't be right for him to break into the young Italian's life again.

It didn't matter that he wanted to see Giac once again, that he wanted to leave his life behind with the knowledge that someone loved him, someone who wouldn't walk away from him if they had the choice. It was more than he had a right to ask for.

The Doctor closed his eyes, conjuring Giac's face to mind in his memory. It was surprisingly easy to do, given that it had been more than a year -- at least in his timeline -- since he'd last seen the other man, though it had only been a few weeks for Giac.

He'd expected to have trouble doing this, but the young man's features came to his mind instantly. He was a little surprised that Jack's image didn't force its way front and center, but if it had, he would have pushed it back with all the force he could muster. He didn't want to think about Jack. Not now. Not ever.

If his thoughts turned back to their last meeting, he would end up jumping from this bridge here and now -- and he didn't want to do that. Even though he'd come here with the express purpose of ending his life, he knew that he wasn't ready. Not quite yet.

He was a strangely dressed man for this time, and he knew that if his body was found at the wrong time of day, it would cause an uproar. Giac would hear about it -- and he would possibly know, if there was some kind of description, that it was him. He didn't want to put the young man through that.

That wasn't a kind of pain he wanted to cause anyone, he thought with a shudder. He knew all too well what that was like -- he'd seen the deaths of enough people he'd cared for.

Giac didn't deserve that, not from him. Not after all they'd shared, all that they had meant to each other in the brief time that they'd had together. It had only been a day and two nights -- but it seemed like more. It seemed as though he'd known the other man for a lifetime.

But what else was he going to do? There were plenty of other places and times that he could go to, that was true. Places and times where no one knew him, and no one would care who he was. No one would care if some anonymous man met his death in a river somewhere.

No one to mourn him. No one to know that he was gone. No one to care.

The Doctor looked down at the water again, his teeth sinking savagely into his lower lip. He was on the verge of crying, and that was something that he didn't want to do. Not here, not with anyone around. He would save that for when he was alone, when no one was looking.

He should leave, walk along the bridge for a while, wait until there were no people around. Then, when night had fallen and everything was under darkness, he could let himself fall into the water, give himself up to that cold embrace and never come out of it. That was, after all, what he'd come here to do.

Or was it? Hadn't he really come here to see Giac, to grasp at any straw that he could? Hadn't he come here to find the reassurance that he was wanted, needed, that someone cared about him and wouldn't want him to take what he'd decided was his only way out?

He looked down at the water again, wondering if he could really go through with what he'd planned. He wasn't sure if he could -- but he was sure of one thing. If he did happen to find Giac in this city, the other man would never let him do what he'd planned without a fight.

"My angel."

The Doctor whirled around, his eyes wide. He hadn't expected to hear that voice, not unless he'd gotten really lucky and been able to find Giac soon. It hadn't occurred to him that Giac might find him first, even in this huge city with people seemingly everywhere.

"H-how did you know I was here?" he managed to ask, knowing that he sounded breathless, and sure that he looked a mess. He'd been crying before he'd left the Tardis, and the traces of his tears were probably still very visible. He was surprised that none of the people around had cast odd looks at him.

Or maybe they had, and he just hadn't noticed. He hadn't been thinking clearly, after all, and he certainly hadn't been concentrating on what he must look like at the moment.

"I could feel you," Giac said simply, moving forward and wrapping his arms around the Doctor. "My heart cried out to you -- and I could feel yours reaching out to me. I knew that I had to find you, my angel, no matter how long and hard I had to look."

"You -- you could tell I was here?" The Doctor couldn't help but feel shocked at Giac's words. He'd known that the bond between them was incredibly strong -- but not that Giac would literally be able to feel his presence. He wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not. Maybe Giac had a sort of sixth sense, too.

Giac nodded, looking grave. "I could tell that you are .... not as you should be, beautiful one. Is something wrong? Tell me what has happened, and if there is any way that I can help you, you know that I will. I could never deny you anything that you might need."

"It's .... a long story," the Doctor murmured, looking down at the water again. Was it his imagination, or did it somehow seem less frightening, less of an end to everything, now that Giac was here beside him?

"We have time," Giac said softly, taking the Doctor's hand in his and pressing it against his chest. "I've wanted to see you again, my angel. I have missed you, more than I can put into words. And I think that you may have something in your life that you need to speak to someone about."

The Doctor nodded, slowly, reluctantly. He didn't want to burden Giac with his troubles -- but the young Italian seemed to be offering himself as a listener, and he didn't want to be alone. Not now. He needed to at least talk to Giac, to let him know why he had come to the decision that he'd made.

"Let us go to that marvelous ship of yours, and spend our time together." Giac, not taking no for an answer, slipped one arm around the Doctor's waist, looking at him with a raised eyebrow as though expecting him to lead the way to wherever they were going.

The Doctor nodded again, feeling a wave of relief surge over him as he headed towards where he'd left the Tardis. He felt safer now, more able to think clearly. He wasn't alone. Giac was with him. And, as the other man had said about him -- there was no way that he could deny him anything.

***