Title: Unforgettable
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: past Jack/Doctor
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: Epsilon, challenge_the
Prompt: 24, Forgotten
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Tenth Doctor, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

The Doctor paced around the control room of the Tardis, watching as he put one foot in front of him to take a step forward. Then the other foot .... and the other again .... He was getting used to watching his steps, trying to let the monotony of what he was doing sink in.

It was better than trying to sleep, tossing and turning and being kept awake by the memories that kept crowding into his head. Better than trying to force those memories behind a door that he could slam shut on them, to keep them from troubling him.

His memories of Jack were something that seemed to attack him when he least expected them to surface again; they would come to him when he was in bed at night, the place where he'd always felt most at home when Jack was with him.

So, in that respect, it made sense that the memories of his former lover were the strongest there. The Doctor sighed, stopping in his tracks and moving to the chair by the consoel. Sinking down into it, he rested his chin in his hands, closing his eyes.

For some reason, his memories of Jack had been stronger than ever in the past few days. They had all seemed to crowd into his mind at one time, each vying for the forefront, all of the moments that stood out with crystal clarity as though they were etched onto his mind's eye forever.

They were, of course. He would never forget the time he had spent with Jack; if he was pressed, he might have to admit that those had been the best months of his life. Those were times that he wouldn't give up for any reason, not even if his life were threatened.

Would Jack do the same with the memories that he carried of the Doctor? The Time Lord didn't think so; he was sure that Jack could easily put his own memories away, tuck them into the back of his mind into a compartment that he rarely peeked into.

When he did, the Doctor was sure that he chuckled over some of those memories. Jack had a right to that; they'd certainly had their share of good times when they'd laughed and had fun with each other. But those weren't the times that the Doctor remembered most of all.

The times that stood out in his mind were the hours that he'd spent wrapped in Jack's arms, with the other man's lips on his, their bodies entwined in the most primal, primitive way possible. The hours that they'd spent loving each other, both emotionally and physically.

Maybe he only remembered those times with such clarity because he was convinced that Jack had spoiled him for all others. He didn't feel the need to let anyone else get close to him now; no one could ever compare to the man he'd loved and lost.

No one would ever come close to being what Jack had been to him. There would be no other touch that could arouse him in the way that Jack's did, no other lover who could take him to the dizzying heights that Jack's lovemaking had raised him to.

He'd never believed that there was only one person meant for him; maybe one meant for each of his different incarnations, but not one who could fulfill him in every possible way with each different body he took on. But now, he was starting to feel that he'd been wrong.

His earlier incarnations would have loved Jack just as much as he did. Well .... maybe not just as much, the Doctor amended. No one, not even himself in an earlier incarnation, could possibly love Jack as much as he did.

No one could take Jack to their hearts in the way that he had. And he was absolutely certain that no one would love Jack enough to be able to let him go without a word, to let him live the life that he was sure he wanted. A life that didn't include the Doctor.

Oh, they were still friends. Nothing would come between them in that respect. They'd been close friends before they had become lovers, and that friendship would stand the test of time. That was a bond that could never be broken.

But Jack wasn't the type of man to hold onto lovers forever. Not even for a single lifetime. They flitted in and out of his life -- though the Doctor was sure that there were some who had touched his heart, and he was vain enough to count himself amongst them.

He'd tried so hard to forget Jack when the immortal had first left. He had done everything he could to put the other man out of his mind; and he'd spent each and every night for a very long time wondering if Jack had forgotten him, if he was no longer on his former lover's mind.

But he'd never managed to put Jack out of his mind -- or out of his hearts. Jack was unforgettable; he was the kind of man who would stay in anyone's memories. He was always there, waiting to come to the forefront, with that irrepressible grin and that insouciant attitude.

It was impossible to forget Jack -- and the Doctor was sure that he himself hadn't been forgotten, either. Of all the lovers that Jack Harkness had ever taken in his long life, the Time Lord was positive that he had been the one Jack couldn't erase from his thoughts.

Sometimes, when he was lying in bed at night and staring up at the Tardis' ceiling, he thought that he could almost feel Jack reaching out to him. It was as though their spirits were somehow trying to connect, through the vast reaches of time and space that separated them.

Could Jack feel that, too? He would lie there and close his eyes, conjuring up the image of Jack in his mind. Jack beside him, holding him, kissing him, touching him -- Jack leaning over him, thrusting into him, making him moan, making him come.

That unforgettable image would stay with him for the rest of eternity. Even if he never laid eyes on Jack again, he would always remember those moments they'd spent entwined with each other, laying not only their bodies bare to each other, but their hearts and souls as well.

At least, he thought that Jack had given him that single human heart to hold. Maybe he hadn't. Maybe Jack had held a part of himself back -- and that was why it had seemed so easy for him to leave. And maybe it had also been easy for him to forget.

No. He hadn't forgotten, the Doctor told himself fiercely, pushing that thought away and slamming a mental door on it. Jack could never forget him, any more than he could forget Jack. The impression they'd made on each other's lives was indelible, unforgettable.

He might not be a part of Jack's life in the way that he had been, but he wasn't forgotten. And as for himself, he would never be able to forget. Jack would stand in his mind and in his hearts as the one man he would always love.

Why not admit it to himself? Jack had been the one man who had given him everything he'd ever wanted -- or needed. And he had been the one who could have stayed. He could have given the Doctor that forever he had always craved.

But he'd chosen not to do that. And he'd had to give Jack the freedom to make his own decision. He'd loved the immortal enough to do that, though it was the hardest thing he'd ever done to see the most unforgettable man he'd ever known walk away without a backward glance.

Still, that was what they had been destined for. The heartache that neither of them would ever quite get over, and the thought that maybe, if things had been just a little different, they might still be in each other's arms, traveling through time and space together.

That hadn't been their destiny, the Doctor thought with a sigh. They were meant to look back on what they had shared an an unforgettable memory, times that would never fade from their thoughts. But they hadn't been fated to share an eternity with each other.

The Doctor leaned back in his chair, sighing as his mind played back over the memories that he held so dear. Maybe, just maybe, in his own chair in the Hub, Jack was closing his eyes and replaying his own memories, too. Memories that neither of them would ever be able to bury.

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