Title: Unnoticed
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: Amnesty in January, 5_prompts
Prompt: 4, from Table 16 -- Unnoticed
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.***
Where was he? Jamie turned around in a slow circle, looking at the faces around him, desperately searching for the Doctor. He couldn't find the Time Lord; the Doctor seemed to have disappeared. His lover was nowhere in sight.
Fear clutched at his single human heart, making it start to beat much more rapidly than normal. Where was the Doctor? And who were all these people? He didn't recognize any of them; and none of them knew him. He was invisible here -- completely unnoticed in the crowd.
When he had been with the Doctor, people seemed to notice him. People turned to look at the two of them, making room for them wherever they went. It was because of the Doctor's air of command, his assurance that he knew what he was doing.
Jamie knew that he had nothing of the sort; he was simply a clone, a pale imiation of the man he loved. And a human imitation, at that -- he had a much shorter life span, and a much frailer body. He had nothing of what made the Doctor so special.
Panic rose in his throat, nearly choking him. Where was he, and what was he doing here? Why wasn't the Doctor somewhere near? He had no idea what to do; he didn't know where the Tardis was, how to get back to the ship, or if it was even anywhere near.
What if the Doctor had abandoned him? Jamie gulped, trying to push that thought out of his mind. No, the Time Lord would never do that. He wasn't the kind of man who walked out on anyone he cared about; he wasn't going to just leave without a backward glance.
But where was he? Jamie turned around again, scanning the crowd more carefully, looking for a glimpse of a tall. handsome man with a face exactly like his own. The Doctor had to be here somewhere. He wouldn't simply disappear.
He looked to no avail. The Doctor wasn't there; and there was no sign of a blue box, either. He was alone -- alone and unnoticed. Everyone surged by him as though he wasn't there, as if he didn't exist without having the Doctor by his side.
The panic rose again, stronger than ever. Where was he? He couldn't remember coming here, couldn't bring anything to mind about where he might be. And without the Doctor near, without the Tardis, he was stranded here. There was no way out.
He spun around again, his eyes wide, a scream working its way up into his throat, threatening to come out. But even if he screamed, no one would hear him -- he was unnoticed, invisible, one man in a sea of uncaring, cold faces who didn't care that he existed.
Jamie sat bolt upright in bed, his eyes flying open, a scream that had been lodged in his throat coming out and rending the still air. He looked around, his eyes wide, desperately straining to see where he was in the dim light of the room.
The Tardis. The bedroom he shared with the Doctor. He raised a hand to his chest, pressing his palm against his one human heart, the heart that was skittering in his chest like a frightened mouse that had been cornered by a hungry cat.
The Doctor was sitting up beside him, one hand on Jamie's shoulder, those gentle dark eyes looking at him with love and concern. "Jamie? What is it, love? What's wrong?" Those words were said with such patience, such complete care for his well-being.
"N-nothing," Jamie managed to gasp out, feeling the bands that seemed to constrict his heart loosening, allowing him to breathe again. "J-just a bad dream." He wanted to turn and bury his face against the Time Lord's shoulder, take comfort in the warmth of those arms.
He had to burrow into the Doctor's embrace. He couldn't sit here shivering with the fear that had just passed over him; he needed the comfort of his lover's arms, the knowledge that he wasn't invisible, that he was loved and not unnoticed.
With a soft sob, he turned to the Doctor, letting the other man wrap those thin arms around him and pull him close. The Doctor sank back down onto the pillows with Jamie cradled in his embrace, whispering soothing words that were barely audible.
Jamie didn't hear the words; he only heard the tone of the Doctor's soft voice, soothing him and calming his fears. He was here; he was safe with the Doctor. While he was with this man, he would never feel that he was unnoticed, unimportant .... unloved.
"It's all right, sweetheart," the Doctor soothed, his voice low and husky. "Whatever the dream was, it's gone now. It was just a dream, love. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I"m curious to know -- what frightened you so much?"
Jamie closed his eyes, swallowing hard before he spoke. "I was in a crowd of people -- and none of them noticed me. It was like I was invisible, completely unnoticed. As though I didn't even exist. And you were nowhere to be found. You'd left me there, I think. Alone."
"Oh, sweetheart ...." The Doctor's voice was inexpressibly sad when he spoke again. "Jamie, that dream has no merit, love. You know that I'd never leave you alone anywhere. I'd never abandon you. You have to know that. You mean far too much to me."
"I do know that," Jamie managed to say, feeling the panic from the dream start to well up inside him yet again. Ruthlessly, he pushed it down; there was no need for that feeling. It had no place here. "I don't know why I dreamed about that. I know it would never happen."
But he did know why; he simply didn't want to tell the Doctor. It was because he felt insignificant next to the man who had given him a life, the man who was his lover, who was closer to him than anyone else could ever hope to be. He didn't feel worthy of the Doctor.
The Time Lord's hands were moving up and down his back, drawing him closer into that warm embrace, soothing him in a way that nothing else possibly could have. Jamie closed his eyes, letting himself relax, trying to push the remnants of the dream away.
It had only been a dream, he told himself firmly. He was here, safe in the Doctor's arms. This man loved him; he would never be abandoned, never be alone, never be unnoticed. He would always have a place in the Doctor's life, in his arms -- and in his hearts.
"That dream must have been terrifying," the Doctor said softly, his lips caressing Jamie's hair. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, even in a dream. But you have to know that it would never happen in our lives, Jamie. I'd never just leave you somewhere like that."
"It just .... it seemed so real," Jamie murmured, suppressing a shudder. "I felt so invisible, as if I'd never even existed. I felt like a .... a shadow. A wraith. Maybe it's just because I feel like I'm such a pale imitation of who you are."
"But you aren't, love," the Doctor told him, shaking his head. "You're the most important thing in my life -- and you always will be. You're never going to be unnoticed or invisible to me. Try to forget that dream, Jamie. And try not to feel unnoticed. You aren't."
"I know," Jamie said with a sigh. "I really should get over that inferiority complex, shouldn't I? But it's hard to do when I'm a human and you're .... you're a Time Lord. I know that I can never be what you are. And that makes me feel that I'm second-rate."
"You'll never be second-rate, sweetheart," the Doctor told him, pressing a gentle kiss against his forehead. "You're rare and special, a unique creature in this world, just as much as I am. And you're the man who owns both of my hearts. To me, that makes you infinitely precious."
Jamie smiled at his lover's words, curling up in the Doctor's arms and closing his eyes. He would never be unnoticed while he was with this man. And no matter what doubts he might have about himself at times, the Doctor somehow knew how to dispel them all -- and turn them into hopes.***
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