Title: When I'm Gone
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: R
Table: 17, 5_prompts
Prompt: 1, Hallowed Ground
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.

***

"What will happen to my body when I'm gone?" Jamie asked the Doctor, resting his head back against his lover's chest. "I mean, will you bury me somewhere? Will you come back to visit me, even when you know there's nothing left but dust?"

The Doctor didn't answer for several long moments; Jamie leaned his head back further, against the Time Lord's shoulder, to gauge the look on the other man's face. He had the definite feeling that he'd somehow upset the Gallifreyan with his question.

The Time Lord looked stricken; there were bright tears in his eyes, as yet unshed, but Jamie knew that they were only held back by sheer force of will. He shouldn't have let that question come tumbling out without realizing how it would affect his lover.

"I know what's going to happen to me," Jamie said quickly, trying to minimize the damage he might have caused by being so thoughtless. "I know that I'll die like any other human. And I know the old 'ashes to ashes, dust to dust' saying."

"I don't want to think about that," the Doctor whispered, his thin arms tightening their hold around Jamie's waist. "I don't want to contemplate a time when I won't have you. I know that it's eventually going to happen, but ...."

"But you'd rather not think about it while we still have each other," Jamie finished for him, his voice quiet. "I don't blame you for that, Doctor. I don't like thinking about death, either. But I'm human. It's an inevitability. We can't bury our heads in the sand and pretend it won't happen."

"I know." The Doctor's voice was choked; Jamie turned in his embrace, slipping his own arms around the Time Lord's waist and pulling the other man close against him. He rested his cheek against the Doctor's hair, feeling guilty, wishing that he hadn't brought the subject up.

But it was too late to turn back from it now. This was a discussion that he wanted to have; he wanted to know what would be done with his body when he'd left it. He wanted to know that the Doctor would still be attached to him in more than just a spiritual way.

"I don't want you to spend the rest of your life grieving for me," he said softly, stroking the Time Lord's hair. "But .... I'd like to think that you'll still have some point of reference, a grave, a place where you feel that we connect, as silly as that may sound."

"It doesn't sound silly at all," the Doctor whispered, his words soft; he sniffled as he spoke, and Jamie reached for the handkerchief that he knew the Doctor always carried in his coat pocket. Yes, there it was; he gently wiped away the other man's tears with the soft cloth as he spoke.

"I know that most humans wouldn't want me buried in hallowed ground because of what I am," he said softly, cradling the Doctor in his arms. "I don't care where you bury my body, Doctor. As long as it's in a place that was special to us, that's all I ask."

"Any place where you are would be hallowed ground to me," the Doctor murmured, the words catching in his throat. Jamie could hear the soft gulp as he spoke, then the tears began again, falling faster than before. "Please, let's not talk about this."

Jamie nodded, drawing the Doctor closer to him and letting the Time Lord cry in his arms. Maybe it had been a bad idea to talk about this now, but the question had been looming in his mind lately, and he'd wanted to get it out in the open.

When he was gone, he knew that the Doctor would feel lost and alone for a while, but he hoped that feeling wouldn't last. The Time Lord might not find another person who would be as close to him or who would understand him in the way that Jamie had, but he would find companionship.

Maybe he would choose to go through the rest of his lives alone, but he didn't want that. Not for his beautiful, loving Doctor; this man deserved more than to wander alone for the rest of his life mourning a love that he would never find again.

"You have to promise me one thing," he whispered against the Doctor's hair, waiting for an answering nod or a sound of assent from his lover. When the Doctor nodded reluctantly, Jamie went on, keeping his voice soft and reassuring.

"Promise me that you'll never forget me -- and that wherever you decide will be this body's resting place, you'll come to see me once in a while." His own voice was tearful now; he hated to think of the Doctor being alone when he knew that was the Time Lord's greatest fear.

"I could never forget you," the Doctor whispered, one hand reaching for Jamie's and twining their slender fingers together. "You're imprinted on my soul, Jamie. Even when I regenerate into the next body and become a different man, my hearts will still belong to you."

"I'll hold you to that, you know." Jamie smiled, blinking back the tears that had risen to his eyes. "Even when I'm gone, I'll still be in your hearts and soul. You'll still be able to feel me. And I'll know if you don't keep that promise!"

"Never fear, love," the Doctor murmured, his fingers tightening around Jamie's. "I'll keep it. You'll never be forgotten -- not as long as I'm in the world. I can promise you that." He closed his eyes again, turning his head to press his lips against the tender hollow at the base of Jamie's throat.

Jamie closed his eyes, pulling the Doctor more firmly against his body. He had the Doctor's promise that his final resting place would be somewhere special to them -- and he knew that the man he loved would never let his memory fade away.

Who needed to rest in the sort of ground that was supposed to be so sacred to humans? As long as he was still in the Doctor's hearts, that was the most hallowed ground that he could possibly rest in, and the place that would always mean the most to him.

***