Title: Where Do We Go From Here
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Cal Lightman
Fandom: Doctor Who/Lie to Me
Rating: PG-13
Table: VRD challenge - Blue, 5_prompts
Prompt: Forget-me-nots
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Cal Lightman, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

"This may be the last time we see each other for a while," the Doctor murmured, looking out over the field of blue flowers. He was trying to hold back tears, knowing that it was very possible for the two of them to lose each other once he took Cal back to his life.

That was the last thing he wanted, but he couldn't help feeling that it was inevitable. He knew that Cal cared for him, but at the same time, this man had a life that could never include him. There was a part of Cal's existence that he would always be shut away from.

It wasn't as though he could tell the people he worked with that he was in love with an alien. It would be hard enough to tell that he loved another man; how would people react to that? Even his friends could possibly turn against him if that were known.

Of course, he didn't know any of these people, the Doctor told himself. Maybe they would accept Cal's feelings for him without any misgivings. They might not expect it, but if they were truly Cal's friends and cared about his happiness, they would be glad that he'd found someone.

Then, of course, there was his daughter. What would his child have to say about her father having a sexual relationship with a man? He'd said that Emily wouldn't have a problem with the fact after the initial surprise, but the Doctor wasn't so sure.

It didn't really matter, anyway, he thought with an inward sigh. He would never be a part of Cal's life in that way. Even if their relationship grew and intensified, he would always be on the outside looking in. There would always be a part of Cal's life that would exclude him.

He could never fit into any human's concept of a "normal" life. But then, why would he want to? He was a Time Lord; he hadn't been meant to settle down and stay in one place for eternity. He was a wanderer, and he always would be.

"Penny for your thoughts, love," Cal said softly, bringing him out of his thoughts and back to the present. "I can guess what they are," his lover continued, reaching out to pluck one of the forget-me-nots that grew all around them. "You're wondering where we go from here."

The Doctor started to deny those words, then nodded reluctantly. Given what Cal did for a living, it was useless to try lying to him. He would always be able to spot a lie -- especially on the features of someone he cared about. Cal knew his facial expressions too well already.

"I'm wondering just where I'm going to fit into your life once I take you back to it," he sighed, leaning back on his elbows and looking up at the sky above them. How could it be so blue and cheerful when his thoughts were so dark and the future looked bleak?

"Well, the way I see it, we have two choices," Cal told him, picking a few more of the flowers. "One: We can go back to our separate lives and look at this as just a pleasant memory, a moment in time that we won't ever be able to capture again."

"I don't like that choice," the Doctor told him, scowling. "What's the other one?" He was almost holding his breath, waiting to hear what Cal would say and hoping that his lover had some solution to the dilemma that seemed to be closing in on all sides.

"The other choice is that we do our best to make this work even if we can't be together all the time. And we know that we can't, so we have to find a way to keep our lives parallel to each other. Some time with each other, and some time to ourselves," Cal told him.

"That's going to be easier said than done," the Doctor said with a sigh. "You've got your work, and I can't be a part of that. I can't be a part of your family, either -- your daughter probably won't have an easy time accepting me into her life."

"It's harder because I can't simply come out and tell people what you do for a living, or who you really are," Cal mused. "But we'll find a way. I know that I'm not giving you up. I don't let go of anything I really want. And I want you."

"I want you, too," the Doctor murmured, looking down at the blue flowers in Cal's hand. While they'd been talking, the other man had picked a handful of blooms; now, he held them out to the Doctor with a smile, his voice softening when he spoke again.

"Look, this isn't going to be easy for either of us, love. But if you want something enough, then you'll find a way to make it work. We'll make it, I promise you that." He pressed the flowers into the Doctor's hand, closing the Time Lord's fingers around them.

"I suppose I'm just afraid that you'll forget me," the Doctor whispered, not raising his gaze to meet Cal's. "I'm afraid that you'll go back to your life and just look at this as an interlude that was fun, but not what you want for the rest of your life."

"I won't do that," Cal said, his voice equally soft. "If I'd just wanted a fling, I'd already be back on Earth now, and I'd already have forgotten you. That's not going to happen, Doctor. I could never forget you. And I don't intend to. You're going to be a part of my life for a long time to come."

The Doctor's hearts sped up in his chest as Cal spoke; he could tell by the tone of the other man's voice that he meant what he said. This wasn't going to be the end. Cal wasn't going to simply go back to his life and forget everything they'd shared.

They were going to build a life together, even if it wouldn't be the kind of life that most people might dream of. It wouldn't be easy, he was sure of that. There would be obstacles in their way. But anything worth having was also worth working for. He knew that from experience.

"All right, love," he murmured, looking down at the blue forget-me-nots clutched in his hand. "Let's see what we can do about figuring out just where we go from here." The flowers fell from his hand as Cal reached for him, any thoughts of the future fleeing from his mind as their lips met.

***