Title: Where We Stand
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Ten.5
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG-13
Table: 6, 50ficlets
Prompt: 23, Leave
Author's Note: The human version of the Doctor is being referred to as John Smith in this fic, since it's the Doctor's human alias and his clone needed a name.
Author's Note: Spoilers for Journey's End, somewhat. This is an completely alternate take on the ending of Season Four.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor, or his human clone. Please do not sue.***
"It's ridiculous of me to feel that you could ever want me to leave, isn't it?" Jamie murmured as he ran a hand through the Doctor's tawny hair. The two of them had just made love; he was feeling sated and content -- and more energetic than he ever had in a human body.
It was amazing, the restorative energy that this Time Lord body had, he told himself, closing his eyes and trying to relax. He had always felt tired after making love with the Doctor once or twice when he'd had a human body. But now, that had changed.
And changed for the better, he thought with a smile. The two of them could literally go all night -- and they'd done so several times since his transformation. This was definitely one of the perks to having a Time Lord body versus being human.
"Of course it is, love," the Doctor told him, snuggling close against Jamie and wrapping his arms around the other man's waist. "Why would I ever want you to leave? Just because you're not exactly as you were at the first isn't necessarily a bad thing."
"Would you really want me to be like I was then?" Jamie asked, curious about how the Doctor felt about what had happened to him. He was sure that the Time Lord hadn't expressed all of the feelings that had to be swirling about inside that brilliant mind of his.
Jamie knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Doctor was glad he'd been brought back -- and that he was no longer human. Jamie being transformed into a Time Lord meant that the Doctor was no longer the last of his kind -- which meant that he no longer had to feel so alone in the universe.
But at the same time, maybe there had been some things about his humanity that he would slowly but surely lose through being what he now was, things that the Doctor had cherished. And if that was so, he wanted to know what they were -- so he could work at not losing them.
More than anything in the world, Jamie wanted his lover to be happy. And if making him happy meant that he needed to retain at least a few of his human traits, then he would do his best to achieve that. After all, many of those human characteristics were admirable ones.
The Doctor shook his head, raising himself slightly on one elbow to look at Jamie. "No, I wouldn't," he said softly, his voice firm and decisive. "I loved you as you were, Jamie -- you didn't have to change. But now -- I think that things have become much better for both of us."
Jamie couldn't help but agree with that assessment; he no longer had to worry about dying in what, for the Doctor, would only be a very few years, and leaving his love to live the rest of his life alone. The Doctor wouldn't have to mourn for yet another person who was lost to him.
They would stay together, just as they were now, here on the Tardis. Nothing in their lives -- or in their feelings for each other -- would have to change. The world might change around the two of them -- but what they meant to each other never would.
"I think they have, too -- and now that I'm more of an equal to you, I know that you wouldn't want me to leave," Jamie told him, feeling relieved to have that niggling worry out in the open at last. It was a thought that had been keeping him awake at night.
"Why would I ever want you to leave?" the Doctor asked, a slight frown marring his smooth brow. "If you left, then I'd be alone again -- and I wouldn't be able to stop myself from tracking you down and begging you to come back to me. We belong together, Jamie."
"I know we do," Jamie told him, unable to hold back a soft sigh of relief. He hadn't really thought that the Doctor would ever want him to leave -- but everything had been turned on its head, and sometimes he wasn't sure of just where he stood in the world.
"Then don't ever think that I would send you away, or want to live my life without you right here beside me," the Doctor said, his voice firm. "Nothing would ever make me feel that way, Jamie. You're right where you should be. No more talk about leaving."
"I promise, I won't mention it again," Jamie assured him, sighing again in relief and letting himself relax into the softness of the pillows. He knew where he stood -- and now that he was secure in that place, he had no intention of bringing the subject up again.***
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