Title: Wild Horses
Pairing: John Reese/Jordan Hester
Fandom: Person of Interest
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely John Reese or Jordan Hester, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
***"Well, that was certainly interesting," John murmured as he and Jordan watched Harold walk to the front of the restaurant and out of the door without looking back. "I expected that to be a lot more difficult. The two of you didn't hammer away at each other like I thought you would."
Jordan raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair. "I didn't have any reason to go for the throat," he pointed out with a soft sigh. "Harold was just telling me what I needed to know to make a decision about what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I owe him one."
John's breath caught in his throat; somehow, Jordan's words sounded so .... so final. "So, now that you know exactly what we do, and you know about the machine, have you decided that you don't want anything more to do with me?" he asked, trying to keep his voice from trembling.
If he lost Jordan, he would lose his reason for living. He could still go on helping Harold, but his heart wouldn't be in it any more. No, his heart would be with the man he had lost -- and he would always feel that he'd made the wrong decision to choose what they did over being with Jordan.
"You don't really think I'd do that, do you?" Jordan frowned, leaning forward across the table to gaze into John's eyes. "I could never leave you. If I did, I'd be giving up the best thing that's ever happened to me. I can deal with a little danger."
"It's not just a little danger, Jordan," John said with a sigh. "It's a lot of danger. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being fair to you by having you in my life. You don't deserve to feel like you have to look over your shoulder all the time just because you're involved with me."
"I don't feel that way," Jordan protested, shaking his head. "I know that being with you involves some risks, but I'm more than willing to take them. I'll admit it's a lot fo process, the whole idea of the machine and what you guys do, but I can live with it. I might even be able to help you."
"That's what Harold seems to think," John said, frowning as he spoke. "He thinks we need someone else to step in and help with some of the less dangerous work. But I don't want to risk your safety, Jordan. I don't want you to take those kinds of risks just for me."
"I'm more than willing to take those risks for you," Jordan said softly, reaching out to place his hand on John's. "I don't consider them risks, John. It's just part of being with you. I guess, in a way, it makes our relationship more .... well, exciting. We'll never get bored, that's for sure."
John couldn't help smiling at Jordan's words, leaning forward as he clasped his boyfriend's hand in his own. "I never thought we would," he said softly, his gaze not leaving Jordan's face. "There's no way I could ever be bored with you, Jordan. I love you too much for that."
"What you and Harold do is amazing, John." Jordan's voice was still soft, but the words were spoken firmly. "I want to be a part of that. I know what kind of good you can do for people. Remember, I was on the receiving end of that. I know what it's like to need help."
John nodded, knowing that he couldn't stop Jordan from making this decision. It was something he'd worried about for a while; he knew that he would feel even more pressure now, to protect Jordan from any harm, as well as trying to help the people who the machine led them to.
But maybe Harold was right, and they did need help. He just didn't like the idea of his boyfriend being the person who might be putting himself in danger to help them. He didn't want Jordan caught up in the middle of what he and Harold did.
They were used to it. Jordan wasn't. As he'd said the first time he and John had met, he was an introverted man -- this wasn't something that he would ordinarily choose to do. He was doing it for John, to help him as much as he could. But he'd made the choice.
Besides, Jordan needed to know about what he did. There hadn't been any option but to tell him; if he wanted to have Jordan in his life, he had to be completely honest with his lover about who he was. He couldn't have kept Jordan in the dark any longer.
He was of two minds about this; he didn't want Jordan to put himself in danger, but at the same time, he knew that it was best to come clean with Jordan about just how he and Harold found the people they helped. It felt good to know that Jordan was now a part of their secret.
"So now you know," he finally said aloud, his gaze meeting Jordan's again. "And in spite of knowing -- you're still here with me. I'm grateful for that, Jordan. I wasn't sure that you would be. I thought you might feel that it was too dangerous to be with me, and walk away."
Jordan shook his head, a small smile curving his lips. "You don't know me very well at all if you thought I'd walk away from you because you try to help people," he said softly. "Wild horses couldn't drag me away from you, John. At this point, nothing could."
John could feel his heart swelling at those words; he had never expected Jordan to say anything like that. He had known that his boyfriend loved him, of course -- but he hadn't really believed that Jordan's love was strong enough to withstand the other factors involved in them being together.
He had misjudged the man he loved. He should have had more faith in Jordan, should have known that he wasn't going to back away, no matter what he might discover. He wished that it had been possible to tell his boyfriend all about what he did much sooner.
But he'd had to convince Harold first, had to make him understand that Jordan should be told. That had been one of the hardest things he'd ever done, but now that the three of them had talked things over, he was fairly sure that he'd made the right decision.
He felt better about his relationship with Jordan now, stronger and more confident. There was no longer the worry that Jordan would find out some secret that he wanted to keep buried; Jordan knew all about what he did now, and about the machine. There were no other secrets to tell.
Jordan knew everything now. And he was still here, still by John's side, still loving him. That warmth and love was still in his life, and it wasn't going anywhere. He should have been able to tell Jordan all of his secrets a long time ago; he should never have kept anything from this man.
Jordan's loyalty was unquestionable -- and so was his love. He'd said that wild horses wouldn't drag him away from their relationship, and John felt the same way. Nothing would ever take him away from Jordan; he would belong to this man in this life, and in any other.
He was never going to question his lover's loyalty, never going to doubt him. Jordan wasn't the type of man who would betray anyone, or who would turn his back on someone he loved. He knew that he and Harold could trust Jordan to keep their secrets, no matter what might happen.
Wild horses would never drag him away from Jordan. Nothing would make him forsake this man; if he'd had to make the choice between what he and Harold did to help people and maintaining his relationship with Jordan, he would have chosen Jordan. There was no other choice for him.
Still, he was glad that he hadn't had to make that choice, John told himself with an inward sigh. It would have been one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do -- and he knew in his soul that he would have always had some regrets about walking away.
"Let's get out of here and go home," Jordan said softly, bringing John out of his thoughts and back into the world. He smiled and squeezed John's hand, the gentle pressure sending a tingle up his arm. "I want to spend some time alone with you. Like the rest of the night, if you're free."
"I am," John told him, unable to keep a smile from tugging a the corners of his mouth. What was it about his boyfriend that he could always seem to say the right thing, just when it was needed? Going home with Jordan sounded like the most wonderful idea in the world right now.
John got to his feet, knowing that Harold had already paid the bill. He wanted to pull Jordan into his arms and kiss him, but this wasn't the time or the place to do so. For that, he would wait until they were behind closed doors, and could do much more than merely kiss.
The two of them headed out of the restaurant, John glancing around him out of habit. He didn't see anyone who looked threatening in any way, or anyone who might know him. That was good, because he didn't want to waste time talking to anyone. He just wanted to be with Jordan.
WIld horses wouldn't drag either of them away from each other, he told himself firmly as he raised his arm to hail a cab. He had finally found a place where he belonged, and he had no intention of ever leaving. He only hoped that circumstances would never force him to make a choice.
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