Title: Willing To Try
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Cal Lightman
Fandom: Doctor Who/Lie to Me
Rating: PG-13
Table: doctorwho_100
Prompt: 10, Years
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Cal Lightman, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

"So, let me get this straight," Cal said, raising both brows in question as he looked across the console at the Doctor. "I could be with you here for ten years, and then you could take me back to Earth and make me get there as though I'd just left yesterday."

The Doctor nodded, a smile spreading across his features. "Yes, I can. So you see, you can stay for a while, and then I can take you back and no one will know you've been gone for so long! That's a convenient way for you be able to spend some time here."

Cal shook his head, a regretful look crossing his features. "That's all very well and good, and I'll admit that it's a good way for me to play hooky from what I do. But you've forgotten one pretty important factor if I stayed here for a long time."

"What's that?" The Doctor looked surprised, his brow furrowing. "I don't see any problems with it. It's not as though people would know you'd been gone for a year, or five, or ten. You could just slip right back into what you were doing when you left."

"But I'd be ten years older," Cal said softly, his eyes on the Doctor's face as he spoke. "Nothing can change that. I might be able to slip right back into my life, but I'd be a different man, a changed man -- and the years would certainly show on my face."

"Oh." The Time Lord's face fell as he contemplated the problem, his gaze moving from Cal's face to focus on the console in front of him. "I hadn't thought of that. I keep forgetting that humans age much more rapidly than I do."

"That's not to say that I can't stay here for a while," Cal said hastily, realizing that the Doctor was greatly deflated by his words. "I just can't stay on a permanent basis. I have a job, you know. I can't leave that. And a daughter. I really can't leave her."

"I-I hadn't thought of all that," the Doctor whispered, his voice trembling. "I suppose I should take into account that most people have lives and families on Earth that they can't leave, shouldn't I? I don't always do that."

"I don't want to disappoint you," Cal said with a sigh. He felt terrible for letting the Doctor down; it was obvious that this man was lonely, and that he needed someone to be with him. But that someone couldn't be Cal. Not unless a lot of things changed.

As he'd said, he had a job. A job that he loved, that he didn't want to give up. And he had his daughter. Emily was his responsibility; she lived with him on a full-time basis. He couldn't just turn her over to her mother because he'd found a place where she woudn't fit in.

He couldn't give the Doctor what he needed. And that realization cut him to the bone. Blimey, was he actually thinking of staying here? Of being more than just this man's friend and companion? The idea hadn't crystallized in his mind until now.

Cal wasn't in the habit of lying -- not to himself, and not to others. But it jolted him to realize that he'd been pulling the wool over his own eyes in terms of what he wanted -- what he'd wanted from the first moment he'd laid eyes on the Doctor.

He wasn't often attracted to men. It wasn't something that he was ashamed of -- but it took a specific kind of man to draw his interest. There weren't many who had managed to do that, and especially not at first sight. He was far too discriminating for that.

But the Doctor .... Cal had noticed the Time Lord as soon as he'd entered the bar. There had been something about the way he moved, the expression on his face; there had been something different about this man that he hadn't quite been able to put his finger on.

Ah well, now he knew what it was, he thought, a small smile crossing his features. The Doctor wasn't like anyone he'd met before because he wasn't from this world. It was hard to believe in the existence of aliens, but he had to admit that it was true.

He might not have actually seen other life forms that looked different from humans yet, but he was sure that he would. Maybe he was crazy, and maybe this was all some elaborate setup. But he didn't think so. He believed in the Doctor's sincerity.

Cal wanted to see more of what the Doctor could show him -- the idea of traveling all over the universe, and even through time, was the most exciting thing he'd ever heard of. If he had his way, he'd spend the rest of his life here, exploring all the possibilities.

But that wasn't going to be possible. He had a life on Earth; he had people he cared for, his business, his family. He couldn't just abandon all that because of some sense of adventure that called to him much more strongly than it should.

Or because he wanted the man who was holding all of this out to him. He wanted to take the Doctor's offer; he wanted to stay here and be more to this man than just a passing friend, someone who the Time Lord would look back on as a fond memory.

If only that could come to be, Cal thought regretfully. But he couldn't stay. He could be here for a while, maybe for a few days. But weeks? Months? Years? That wasn't possible, as much as he wanted it to be so. He couldn't back out of his responsibilities.

He wanted to. He wanted to stay here with the Doctor more than he'd ever wanted anything. But he had too many people who depended on him back home on Earth to be able to give in to his desires. If there was any way that he could, he would. But it couldn't happen.

Now, how did he tell the Doctor that without making it sound like a rejection? He knew that whatever he said, it would hurt this man. And he didn't want to do that. He was already growing fond of the Doctor -- and beyond that, Cal wanted him.

There was no way that he could a physical liaison with the Doctor and then leave. That would only hurt the other man more -- Cal knew that in his heart, even if the Doctor might protest and say that it would be enough for him, those words wouldn't be true.

What was more, that wouldn't be enough for him. If he was going to have any kind of relationship with the Doctor, he wanted it to be long-term. It might not be permanent, but he didn't want them to have some sort of one-night stand and then vanish from each others' lives.

"I know you can't stay with me," the Doctor said softly, breaking into Cal's thoughts. "But maybe I can come back to see you -- and maybe we can make that work in some way. If you're willing to try, that is. I'm not going to push you into it if you're not."

Cal's heart seemed to leap into his throat as he took in the Doctor's words. All right, so it might not be the traditional kind of relationship that most people had -- but then, the Doctor wasn't a traditional sort of man. Cal would have to make allowances for that.

He wasn't sure if the Time Lord meant what he thought was implied -- and he had to clear that up right away. He wanted to have all of his cards on the table, so to speak, and to know exactly where they stood from this point on.

"Do you mean --" Cal paused, searching for a way to phrase his question that wouldn't sound too crass, or outright rude. "Do you mean that you want us to be .... more than companions? More than just a couple of friends having a bit of fun now and then?"

The Doctor nodded, not speaking, obviously having a hard time finding words. But Cal could read the expression in his eyes; there was so much hope there, hope that he was sure the Doctor could read in his own facial expression.

He couldn't stay with the Doctor here on the Tardis for years to come. But if the Time Lord was willing to play by his rules, and have Cal with him some of the time and attending to his responsibilities on Earth some of the time as well, then maybe this could work.

Maybe they would get tired of each other after a while. Maybe having a relationship where they weren't together all the time wouldn't work for them. But Cal had a feeling that it would. After all, neither of them seemed to be the philandering type. He certainly wasn't going to stray.

It might be a little crazy, and it was definitely unorthodox. But he'd always been the rebel who wanted to try new things, hadn't he? So what made this so different? Nothing, really. It was new and exciting, and something within him was sure that they could make it last.

Cal stepped closer to the Doctor, reaching out to take the other man's hands in his. "Then I accept the offer," he said softly, raising a hand to stroke his thumb lightly across the Doctor's lower lip. "I don't know if it'll work, but I'm more than willing to try."

Was there any sight more beautiful than the Doctor's smile? Cal didn't think so. And he found himself hoping that years from now, he'd still be able to see that smile and look back on this day -- the first day of the years that they could share if their luck held out.

***