Title: You Are Not Alone
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Tenth Doctor/Giacomo Casanova
Fandom: Doctor Who/Casanova (Masterpiece Theater)
Rating: PG-13
Table: fanfic50
Prompt: 38, Together
Author's Note: The character of Giacomo Casanova is based on the BBC version of Casanova starring David Tennant. Inspired by the Michael Jackson song "You Are Not Alone".
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the Tenth Doctor or Giacomo Casanova. Please do not sue.***
The Doctor curled up next to Giacomo with a replete sigh of satisfaction, closing his eyes and resting his head on his lover's shoulder. This was the time he liked best when they were together -- the afterglow of their lovemaking, when they could be close.
Of course, they were always close when they were together, but this was different. They had just shared the most intimate of embraces, and the Doctor felt that his soul was completely open to the man who had just made love to him.
At the same time, he reflected with a pang of regret, there was a sadness about being together like this, too. He knew that he couldn't stay; this was the beginning of the end, the top of the downhill slide towards going back into time and space and leaving Giac behind.
He had to do that, he knew. Giac was a part of the history books; he had a life that didn't include the Doctor, a life that he had to be free to live on his own. He couldn't have someone interrupting the flow of his life, not when it was a life that was so well-known.
He had to take what he could get, the stolen moments that they managed to snatch with each other. It was enough -- it had to be enough. They were lucky to have that, and he was smart enough to hold that time with Giac close to his hearts and treasure it.
But that still didn't quite manage to make up for the times when he was alone on the Tardis, thinking of Giac and wishing that his love could be there beside him. It didn't make up for the long stretches of loneliness that he endured before he was back in Giac's arms.
If only Giac could be more a part of his life! But that wasn't possible; he'd known that from the beginning. Still, no matter how often he told himself that they were star-crossed lovers, his hearts still yearned to find a way that they could be together.
He hadn't expected to meet the famous Giacomo Casanova, or to fall so deeply in love with him. But it had happened, and the Doctor wouldn't change that, not for any reason. He couldn't deny his love simply because fate kept them away from each other.
Shouldn't he be used to feeling like this? the Doctor asked himself with an inward sigh. He didn't realize that the sound had made itself heard until Giac's arm tightened around him, and his lover's soft, husky voice spilled into the quiet of the room.
"Why the heavy sigh, caro?" Giac asked, the Italian endearment bringing a smile to the Doctor's lips. He loved hearing that word coming from this man; Giac probably said it to others as well, of course, but it still made him feel special when it was directed at him.
That was the wonderful thing about Giac. He could make anyone feel beautiful, special .... loved. He had the gift of making whoever he was with feel that they were the only person in the world, someone who was worthy of all the happiness that life could possibly bring to them.
How was he going to answer his lover's question? He didn't want to depress Giac, or make him feel bad. After all, it wasn't his lover's fault that the two of them couldn't be together; it was due to a strange quirk of fate, not anything that either of them had consciously done.
"I was .... thinking about the two of us," he finally said, his words hesitant. "Wishing that we could be together more often, but knowing that we can't. And knowing that I should be happy with what time we're given, rather than wishing for more."
"I wish that we had more time, as well," Giac admitted, his sigh matching the Doctor's. "But we have to take what the fates give us, my sweet. Think of it -- we might not even have met and loved. We must be grateful for the fact that we've found each other."
The Doctor nodded, letting Giac's words wrap around him and hoping that they would sink into his soul. His lover was right; they could so easily never have met, if he hadn't decided to dress like an Italian nobleman and go to that ball.
"And even when we aren't together -- our hearts are always as one," Giac continued, taking the Doctor's hand and placing it on his chest. The Time Lord could feel the other man's heart beating, a slow, steady rhythm that he never wanted to pull away from.
"I know that you're always in my heart, no matter how far away from you I am," the Doctor murmured, stroking his hand down Giac's bare chest. The other man moaned as the Time Lord's fingers tweaked first one rosy nipple, then the other, the sound bringing a smile to the Gallifreyan's lips.
Giac turned over onto his side, one arm still wrapped around the Doctor, looking into his lover's eyes and raising a hand to stroke gentle fingertips over his cheek. When he spoke, his voice was soft and husky, the sincerity in his words unmistakable.
"You may not be with me all the time, caro mio," he whispered, "but you must remember this. No matter where you are in the vast universe, you are not alone. You are never alone, as long as I carry you within my heart and soul. I am always with you."
Those words brought tears to the Doctor's eyes, tears that he couldn't hold back. No one had ever said those words to him in a voice that so full of love and tenderness; no one had ever made him feel that such words were the absolute truth.
Other people had told him that they would always be with him -- and in a way, the people he'd cared about were always in his hearts. But did he remain in their hearts and memories in the same way? He rather doubted it.
It was different with this man. He wasn't just a fond memory for Giac, or someone who he had a casual relationship with. They were the loves of each other's lives, even if it couldn't be publicly known just what their relationship was -- or even that he was a part of Giac's life.
Maybe he wasn't a part of this man's life on a regular, everyday basis. Maybe they would never have more time together than the stolen moments that they managed to grasp every now and then. But what they shared was more than most people would have in a lifetime together.
"You are not alone either," he whispered, laying his palm flat against Giac's chest and feeling that strong, steady heartbeat. "Even when we're far apart, you're always a part of me. And even when I'm not right beside you -- I'm still with you. In your heart."
He knew that those were nearly the same words that Giac himself had said, but he had to repeat them in his own way. He had to say them aloud, to make them seem more solid, more real; he had to let it be known that they were coming from the depths of his soul.
"I know that, my love," Giac told him, taking the Doctor's hand and bringing it to his lips. Those dark eyes locked with the Time Lord's as Giac kissed his fingertips; he couldn't have looked away from that compelling gaze even if he'd wanted to.
"You are never alone with me in your heart," Giac murmured, the words soft yet strong and firm. The Doctor forbore to correct him by saying that he had two hearts; he knew what Giac meant, even if he didn't have the number quite right.
"Wherever you go, I shall be with you," his lover continued, his dark gaze still holding the Doctor's as though the Time Lord were spellbound. "We may be separated by distance, caro mio, but never in our hearts and souls."
He closed his eyes, holding back the tears that threatened to come again as he rested his forehead against Giac's. His lover was right. He would never be alone -- not as long as he carried the love of this man within his hearts along with his own love for Giac.
Giac's arms were around him, those soft lips on his; the Doctor gave himself up to the warmth of that embrace, letting himself revel in the nearness of his lover. For the moment, at least, he could bask in their closeness, and in the love that wrapped around his hearts.***
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