Title: I Don't Want To Be A Hero
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,611
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
Mick and Josef stood at the top of one of the buildings in a less-than-desirable neighborhood, looking silently down at the hubbub in the street below them. Humans, braced for a gang war, circling around each other like angry dogs, snarling and showing their claws.
Josef was almost smiling, Mick thought, glancing over at his boyfriend. Surely he couldn't relish the sight of blood, of so many humans needlessly killing each other for a stupid turf war that wouldn't mean anything in a few years' time.
He should stop them, Mick told himself, his muscles tensing. He wanted nothing so much as to jump off this roof and land on the ground between those gang members, hold out his hands and magically make them disperse with no bloodshed.
He couldn't do that, of course. If he was stupid enough to try to stop something they'd obviously been planning for a while, tempers would flare even higher than they already did. And it was possible that the bloodshed and violence would be even worse if he interfered.
"Don't do it, Mick."
Josef's voice was quiet, so quiet that for a moment Mick almost didn't realize that his boyfriend had said anything. He glanced at Josef again, disconcerted to realize that the other man was no longer watching the humans on the street below, but watching him.
"Why not?" he asked, knowing full well that there were at least a hundred -- no, probably more like a few thousand -- reasons why he shouldn't even be contemplating such a bonehead move, but wanting to hear Josef's reasons. "Why shouldn't I try to help out?"
"Because there's a hell of a lot of them and only one of you," Josef pointed out with a shrug. "Because it's not your fight. Because one of them could have something with a silver tip, and that goes into your heart -- Bam! You're deader than the proverbial doornail."
"And you wouldn't be able to save me from that," Mick murmured, knowing that his boyfriend was right, but still feeling frustrated. "I just hate to see this kind of senseless violence, Josef. They're killing each other for no good reason. A stupid fucking turf war."
"It's gone on since the beginning of time, Mick." Josef's voice was quiet as he looked down at the circling combatants again, shaking his head. "Humans are good at a lot of things, but they're better at finding new ways to kill each other than they are at anything else they do."
"And I'm guessing that you're still trying to figure out why I have such a fascination with humans, aren't you?" Mick asked, raising his head to look directly at his boyfriend. "You've never really known why. And I don't know how to put what I feel into words."
Josef shook his head, more slowly this time. "I think I can figure out why. You want to be one of them again. You miss your lost humanity. You still feel like you're some kind of monster, and you don't want to accept that fact. So you cling to the human feelings you still have."
This time, it was Mick's turn to shake his head.
"It's not just that," he said, his words coming slowly; he had to think about what he was saying before he was able to put those thoughts into speech. "Yeah, I miss being human. But I don't regret being what I am. I did the first time -- but not now."
"Why? Because now you can spend eternity with me?" Josef asked, laughter in his voice. "You've told me that so many times, Mick. And I believe you," he added hastily as a frown began to furrow Mick's brow. "I know you love me. But is there any other reason you don't regret being a vamp?"
Mick considered his words carefully before he spoke again. "Yeah, I'm glad that I'm going to be able to live a lot longer than I would as a human," he finally admitted. "But you hit the nail right on the head the first time. It's mainly because I can be with you."
"I appreciate that." Josef moved closed to him, sliding an arm around Mick's waist. "We shouldn't be here, Mick. You don't have to watch this. When you suggested we go out for a moonlit walk, I didn't think you had a show like this in mind."
A show? He hadn't had any idea this was going on. He'd only wanted to walk through the streets, and he'd picked this part of the city because it had seemed deserted, calm and quiet under the moon and stars. He hadn't known what they'd be walking into.
"I didn't." Mick's eyes were still on the street below; the tension was almost palpable, making him feel tense and nervous. At any moment, those humans would start attacking each other -- and he really didn't want to be here to see it. "I had no idea this was going on."
"But you could feel the tension in the air, and you led us to it. I felt it, too," Josef told him, sighing as he looked down again, then back at Mick. "Come on. Let's get the hell out of here. I don't particularly want to see this, and I don't think you do, either."
They should leave. Mick knew that. But he couldn't tear himself away. Not just yet.
"I just wish I could help them," Mick whispered, his voice thick. "Show them that violence isn't the way. Maybe show them that they've got other options than tearing each other to pieces. This is so fucking stupid. And such a waste of human life."
"You're not a hero, Mick." Josef's voice was soft and gentle, but there was a curious flatness to it at the same time. "You have to stop trying to be one. You can't save everybody. I know you want to, but you've got to deal with the fact that you're not a knight in shining armor."
"I don't want to be a hero," Mick protested, shaking his head. "I just want to stop the senseless violence that's about to happen. How do we know that innocent humans won't walk into the middle of this and get hurt? That's what I want to avoid?"
"If they do, then that's their destiny," Josef said, his arm tightening around Mick's waist. "You can't save every human in this city, Mick. It's great that you want to try -- but you can't. I love you for being so noble, but I wish you'd come back down to Earth with the rest of us."
"I guess I do tend to think of myself as a hero sometimes," Mick said ruefully, tearing his eyes away from the scene on the street below them and looking at Josef. "I shouldn't do that, should I? I have to remember that I'm a predator, not a heroic figure."
Josef frowned, shaking his head again. "I don't think you're as much of a predator as some of our kind," he objected, then laughed. "That's including me. I know what I am, Mick. I'm different from you. But I love you for who and what you are. Don't ever change."
"I don't plan to," Mick said softly, turning to his boyfriend and sliding both arms around Josef's waist to pull the other man against him. "It's only when I see things like this that my sense of justice is offended. I wish I could do something to right all the wrongs in the world."
"You can't," Josef said simply, raising a hand to lay it against Mick's cheek, soft fingertips stroking over his skin. "You shouldn't even try. But I admire you for wanting to try. And now, I think we should get out of here before your heroic side tries to take over and do something stupid."
Mick glanced down again. Yes, they needed to go. Now. Before violence broke out.
As much as he wanted to stop this, he knew that Josef was right. He wouldn't stand a chance against so many armed humans -- and if any of them knew anything about what he was, jumping into this could sign his own death warrant.
Worse than that, Josef would see everything. And he wasn't going to make the man he loved watch him die. Who knew what Josef would do? He'd probably end up killing a lot of humans -- and maybe even being taken out himself, if one of them had a sword and knew how to use it.
He wasn't a hero, as much as he hated to admit it. He had to stop believing that he could save the word. He should know by now that he couldn't. Hadn't he already had enough proof of that, time and time again? He needed to accept his own limitations.
Turning away from the scene below, the two of them jumped quietly from the rooftop to the street below, using their vampiric skills to make a quick retreat from the area without looking back, only a few moments before shouts and the sound of gunfire filled the air.***