Title: Always Here
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,734
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

Where was he? He'd thought when he had run into this house that he'd recognized it, but nothing about his surroundings was familiar. There was furniture he'd never seen before, even though he was sure that no one had lived here for a long time.

He had to find somewhere to hide. His pursuers could kill him if they had silver bullets -- or if they knew the truths about vampire lore. He could easily be dispatched to the hereafter if they knew that beheading would get rid of him for good.

Josef looked around him wildly, searching for a way out. He should never have run in here; he'd thought that he knew what he was doing, but once again, he'd been proved to be young and stupid, just a fledgling in his vampiric life.

What was he going to do? He could feel panic rising in him as his gaze moved around the room in the desperate search for a place to hide -- or a way to get himself out here. Being trapped in this house was the dumbest move he'd ever made.

They would find him in a few moments -- and there was no telling what they would do to him. Vampires didn't hunt their own kind for extinction, unless they were enemies -- but he knew all too well what was planned for him if he was caught.

For his pursuers, this was a game. For him, it was the resurrection of memories that he'd rather keep buried, horrible recollections that were always there in the back of his mind, waiting to rise up and attack him just when he thought he'd banished them for good.

Josef looked around again, hesitating for just a moment before he headed for the far side of the room, toward a door that might lead to another room that would afford more places to hide. But that hesitation was to cost him dearly.

With a crash that reverberated through the room, the door flew open and crashed against the wall, sounding as though it had been ripped from its hinges. Five men crowded through the portal, their eyes fixed on Josef.

He was only a few feet away from them; too close for him to run, or even to use his preternatural vampire quickness to melt into the darkness. They knew what he was -- and worse, they were what he was. Their powers were as great as his own.

Within seconds, two of them had his arms stretched out to his sides, pinning him to the ground. Josef struggled and cursed, but he couldn't break free; these men had powers that outstripped his own. They had been vampires for much longer than he had.

Josef didn't know what fate these men ultimately intended for him to meet, but it was more than obvious what they were going to do to him. One of them was already pulling at his clothes, ripping his shirt off, tugging his pants down.

No! a voice in the back of his mind screamed. He wasn't going to let himself be raped again. It had happened once, on his last night as a human; that memory still haunted him even after nearly a hundred years. He wouldn't submit to that again.

He wouldn't be tied down and held helpless again, made a victim of other mens' lust. He would die first -- and it seemed that this might be the objective here. These monsters would kill him once they'd had their fill of his body. He was sure of it.

His surety that these vampires were bent on his demise was heightened when two more of them came through the door -- carrying what looked like a slab of wood at first sight. As they laid it down on the floor, Josef was horrified to realize that it was a cross.

He had no doubts of what they intended to do with him now. He fought against them as they lifted him and threw him down onto the rough wood, stretching his arms out and holding his wrists pinned against the cross, laughing all the while.

One of them reached into a coat pocket and pulled out what looked like a handful of gleaming silver nails -- silver, one of the few things that was lethal to a vampire. They intended to pierce his flesh with those silver spikes, letting him die slowly while they ....

Josef closed his eyes, squeezing them tightly shut against the sight before his eyes. He was going to die here, after less than a hundred years as a vampire. He'd made too many enemies already, enemies that would take his life without a second thought.

If only he'd been more careful. If only he'd worked harder at protecting himself. But when he'd first become a vampire, he'd gone more than a little crazy during those first few years -- and now, his actions were coming back to bite him in the ass with a vengeance.

His scream ripped through the still air of his bedroom as he sat bolt upright in bed, clutching the silken sheets, his eyes flying open. He stared unseeingly at the room around him, outlines of furniture dim in the darkness, not realizing where he was for a moment.

Home. He was at home in his own bedroom. He hadn't died that night; he'd been rescued at the last moment, just as that lethal silver spike was poised above his wrist with the weight of a hammer behind it. He was still here. Still alive.

Mick's arms were around him, pulling him back against his boyfriend's broad chest. Mick's voice was whispering in his ear, words of comfort that he would have given anything to hear all those years ago when the memory had been stark, cold reality.

"Shhh, babe," Mick whispered, pulling Josef close against him. "It's okay. You're here, you're safe. It was only a dream, Josef." The words went on and on, soft murmurs that Josef didn't really hear. It was enough for him that Mick was here, that he was in his lover's arms.

He didn't usually fall apart like this, but that particular memory had the worst connotations for him of any part of his past. He'd nearly been killed that night -- and since then, he hadn't let himself completely trust anyone, no matter how close they'd been to him.

Until Mick St. John had come into his life, and he'd felt an inexplicable pull towards the other man. He hadn't been able to stay away from Mick, even before Coraline had turned him. And once Mick had been initiated into their world, he'd become even more irresistible.

No one could comfort him in the way that Mick could. No one else's arms felt this safe; he'd never been able to let anyone get as close to him as Mick was. Even Sarah hadn't touched the part of his heart that Mick held firmly in his hands.

Oh, he might as well be honest with himself. Mick owned his heart completely. He still cared for Sarah, but he no longer considered her the love of his life. He'd found the person he loved -- the man who was sitting here holding him and whispering to him.

"You were dreaming about the past again, weren't you?" Mick said softly, pulling back slightly and looking down at the man in his arms. After a moment's hesitation, Josef nodded. There was no use lying to Mick; he had nothing to hide from his lover.

"I haven't told you about that night," he whispered, the words coming out slowly, reluctantly. "I've never told anybody. The vampires who rescued me are all dead now. Killed. That's why I always keep so much security around me. I've got good reason to."

Mick's arms tightened around him, and Josef had to resist the urge to burrow into that comforting touch and give himself up to the shaking that was threatening to overtake him. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't show that kind of weakness -- not even with Mick.

"You keep all the security around you because you're afraid that whoever tried to kill you that night is going to find you again," Mick said softly, his words a statement, not a question. "And you're scared of them getting to you."

Josef's nod was hesitant; he didn't want to tell Mick everything about that night. He didn't want to put the man he loved into the same path of danger that he'd always walked in; if he could keep Mick safe, it was worth risking his own life.

Since when had he become so selfless? he asked himself with an inner snort. Since you fell in love with him, a voice from the back of his mind answered. Since you realized that you don't want to live without him.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Mick murmured, brushing his lips gently across Josef's forehead. "But I'm here if you need to talk, babe. I'm always here. You know that." He tilted Josef's face up to his until their gazes met and locked.

Josef was surprised to realize that he did want to tell Mick about his memories. For the first time in his entire life, he felt that he didn't have to hold anything back. In fact, he needed to let Mick know about his past, with no reservations.

He needed to feel the comfort that only his lover could give him. He needed to know that the comfort of Mick's arms, his love, would always be here for him -- and that he'd be able to surround himself with that comfort any time he might need it.

"I was almost a hundred years old when it happened," he began, settling into Mick's embrace with a soft sigh. This was going to be a long night, with a very long story to impart, and he hoped that Mick was prepared to listen for quite a while.

***