Title: Around My Heart
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,694
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
Mick shoved his hands into his pockets as he ambled along the darkened street, on his way to Josef's penthouse. It had been less than a day since he'd seen his boyfriend, and he already hungered to be next to the man he loved.
What was it about Josef that held him in such thrall? No one else had ever done that before; even Coraline hadn't bewitched him like this when his obsession with her had been at its strongest. No one had ever affected him in the way that Josef did.
It was as though there had been tendrils winding themselves around his heart from the first time he'd met Josef, twining more and more tightly as time went on, until he'd finally come to his senses and realized just what the other man meant to him.
Saying that he loved Josef would be putting it mildly, Mick told himself with a rueful smile. Josef was all that he'd ever wanted or needed; it had taken him far too long to realize that, but now that he had, he was going to make up for all the years they'd wasted.
How could he have been so blind to his own feelings for all those years? Mick sighed at the thought, his mind going back over all the time that he could have been with Josef. He'd been a fool, deluding himself into thinking that Josef was only a friend.
He should have known better from the first time he'd looked into those dark eyes, the first time Josef had ever smiled at him. When they'd first met, he hadn't wanted to admit that he'd felt an attraction; it hadn't seemed possible that he could.
It had been stupid to try and delude himself that he was still in love with Coraline. That had never been love; it had been infatuation, obsession. He'd loved Josef all along, even if his own stubborn mind hadn't let him admit that fact to himself unitl much later.
Now that he'd finally settled into his relationship with the other man, it felt as if those tendrils that had reached out to wrap around his heart from their first meeting had grown ever tighter, binding him to Josef completely, ensuring that he could never get away.
Not that he would ever want to, Mick thought, a smile curving his lips as he brought a picture of Josef to his mind. Who would want to leave someone like Josef? He was an amazing man, the light of Mick's life, the love he'd always looked for.
There were times when it still seemed almost as though he'd stumbled into this relationship, even though he was sure that Josef had been guiding him towards it for a long time. Josef had always known how he felt, even though he'd tried his best to hide his emotions.
Or had he? He'd done a pretty good job of hiding his true feelings; Josef was perceptive, but he wasn't a mind reader by any stretch of the imagination. He couldn't have known how Mick felt, unless he'd managed to let some of those true emotions slip out.
He'd probably done that on far more than one occasion, Mick told himself, smiling at the thought. And Josef had realized how he truly felt better than he had himself. It was a good thing that his boyfriend had the patience to sit back and wait for him to figure it out.
If Josef hadn't had that patience, where would they be now? Mick didn't want to think about that; they'd spent too much time circling each other, doing some kind of civilized mating dance, tentatively reaching out and then pulling back before they'd crossed a line.
That line had not only been crossed -- it had been obliterated by this point, he thought, unable to keep back a smile. Any hesitation between the two of them was long gone; they were more comfortable with each other than Mick would ever have thought they could be.
He turned a corner, raising a hand to his chest when he felt his heart skip a beat before it settled back into its normal rhythm. Mick frowned, his attention focused ahead of him, in the direction of Josef's building. That had undoubtedly been a call to his heart.
To hell with the vampires who said that loving someone didn't make a vamp sensitive to their emotions. He knew when Josef needed him, knew when his lover was thinking of him. He could feel that connection wrapping itself around his heart, tugging him toward Josef.
Every fiber of his being was attuned to Josef. They might not be right by each other's sides all the time, but he could feel it when Josef needed him -- or even when his boyfriend was thinking about him. That feeling was a warm glow around his heart.
He could feel when Josef was upset, or worried, or in some kind of trouble. He could feel the other man's happiness, his pain, his fears and uncertainties. And that connection only kept growing stronger. with the passing of time, with every day that went by.
It had seemed strange at first, but he'd gotten used to it now. He'd always had a kind of empathic ability where people he cared about were concerned, and becoming a vampire had only enhanced that. But with Josef, it was as though they were a part of each other.
Josef was a part of him, Mick told himself, quickening his steps. Their connection went beyond anything in the physical realm. Ordinarily, he wouldn't think in such mystical terms, but his relationship with Josef was unlike anything he'd ever known.
No one else had ever managed to wrap themselves around his heart so fully and completely in the way that Josef had. Yes, he'd cared for people in the past, even loved them. But there had been no one like Josef Kostan in his life before.
He could feel Josef within him, even when they hadn't seen each other for a few days. He didn't need his boyfriend's constant presence to know that they were together, that he was loved, and that Josef thought about him on a constant basis.
A few days? He almost had to laugh at that thought. In the time that they'd been together, the longest he had been able to stay away from Josef was two days. Only two days -- and those had seemed to last for an eternity, days that never came to an end.
All he'd wanted to do when he'd been with Josef again was to make love to his boyfriend, to hold Josef in his arms and never let him go. He'd been unable to stop himself from carrying the other man off to bed; his love and desire for Josef had seemed to grow stronger.
Why had there been such an immediate, strong attraction towards Josef -- even if he hadn't admitted to that attraction for a long time? Was it his heart trying to tell him that this man was his destiny, right from the first, openly and honestly with no runaround?
That's what it seemed like to him. And he'd been too stupid -- and too infatuated with someone who had hadn't really loved -- to be able to see what had been right there in front of his face. He'd deliberately turned away from the truth, refusing to let himself see it.
That had been his own stupid mistake. If he had been able to admit to his feelings all those years ago, he could have been with Josef for so much longer -- and he wouldn't have had to deal with all the unnecessary drama that had come his way.
Ah well, he had to look at it philosophically, Mick thought with a sigh. He had eternity with the man he loved -- which was probably why Josef had been able to be so patient, he told himself, laughing inwardly. He'd known that they would eventurally be together.
No, he hadn't known that. That was before Mick had been turned -- so had Josef been planning on turning him all along, if Coraline hadn't done the deed first? Mick frowned, wondering just what had been in his boyfriend's mind at the time of their first meeting.
Or had Josef merely sat back and watched, biding his time? Whatever he'd done, it didn't matter now, Mick told himself firmly. The two of them were together, as it was meant to be -- and he wouldn't change the way things were for any reason.
There was no telling what Josef had thought at the time -- and he knew that he wasn't going to get any kind of definitive answer to that question from his boyfriend. Josef could be annoying obtuse when he wanted to be, dancing around questions and avoiding them.
Besides, he didn't need to know. All that really mattered was the fact that they were together now. How long it had taken them to finally admit to their feelings for each other was beside the point. They were living in the here and now, not in the past.
And in the present time, Josef Kostan had wrapped himself around Mick's heart completely, encasing him in a love and protection that he'd thought he would never know. It might be hard for Josef to say those three words sometimes, but Mick knew his lover felt them.
He reached out to push open the front door of Josef's building, nodding to the lobby guard in recognition as he headed for the elevator. In only a few moments he'd be with the man he loved -- and before this night was over, Josef would be wrapped around his heart even more firmly than before.***