Title: Following
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,617
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
Los Angeles, 1955
Josef raised his glass to his lips, pretending to sip the wine it contained. Of course he wasn't going to actually drink it; the red wine might look like blood, but it definitely wasn't, and he had no intention of actually swallowing any of it.
Besides, he wasn't really paying attention to what was in his glass. He had something better to concentrate his attention on -- the tall, blue-eyed man who was circulating through the crowded room with the dark-haired woman on his arm.
It made Josef feel sick to see the two of them together; Coraline was, of course, acting as though Mick was her property, and only letting him speak to the people who she deemed it worthy for him to be around. She was keeping him on a short leash tonight.
He wanted the chance to talk to Mick without that bitch being around; he wanted to spend time with this man, get to know him as he really was, not as what Coraline presented him as being. He wanted to get closer to Mick, to revel in his presence.
And he would never be able to do that as long as she was chained to Mick's side, acting as though he was some kind of performing monkey that she brought out to show off. Josef hated her attitude, but there was nothing he could do about it.
He didn't think that Coraline knew he had feelings for Mick; he'd tried to hold that back, tried to make it seem as though he was only interested in being friends with the other man. Josef knew that if he didn't do that, she would more than likely lie to Mick about him.
Fortunately, so far, she hadn't tried that tactic. If she did, he was fairly sure that Mick would believe her. The other man was his own person; if he wanted to be friends with someone, he'd do it, no matter what anyone else said. But this was a different matter.
Mick was so obsessed with Coraline that it as very possible he'd believe anything she told him, even if he didn't want to. And Josef didn't want to be locked out of this man's life, a casualty of her obsessive jealousy. He wasn't going to let that happen.
So he would keep his feelings a secret, keep them hidden under a veneer of friendship. After all, she had introduced them, hadn't she? So she wanted them to be friends. He would just have to be careful that he never betrayed his desire to be more than that.
Still, it was frustrating to know that he couldn't get closer to Mick publicly. No, all he do was stand here and follow the other man's movements around the room with his eyes, let his gaze rest on Mick and feast on him, taking in every nuance of his being.
Every move Mick made was mesmerizing. There was something about the way he moved, the grace of his body, the energy contained in every gesture, that drew Josef like a moth to a flame. He could stand here and watch Mick St. John forever.
Anybody who knew him would laugh if they knew what he was doing; following someone around the room with his eyes, straining to catch a glimpse of them when they disappeared into a crowd. This wasn't the way that Josef Kostan usually went about seducing someone.
But Mick St. John wasn't just anyone. He was the man who Josef wanted with all of his heart and soul; he had captured Josef's thoughts in a way that would shock anyone who had known Josef at all. Nobody would have ever suspected he could feel this way.
He'd never allowed anyone to get too close to him. The only person who'd ever done that was Sarah, and that had ended badly. He didn't want to open his heart in that way again; but with Mick, it was impossible for him not to do so.
Mick had drawn him in like no one else ever had. He'd thought that Sarah was destined to be his one true love, the person his heart would yearn for through all of eternity. He'd been wrong about that. What he'd felt for her had been nothing compared to his feelings for Mick.
He had never done this with Sarah. He'd never felt compelled to follow her progress around a room with his eyes, feeling jealous of anyone who met her, anyone who smiled at her. But with Mick, it was different. He wanted this man to be beside him for the evening.
Josef begrudged every person in that room their time with Mick -- particularly Coraline. He wished that she would simply disappear, that she would magically no longer be a part of Mick's life, no longer the person he turned a loving gaze upon.
Would he always be reduced to simply following Mick with his gaze, never letting the other man know how he felt? Josef didn't want to live his life in that way; he wanted to have a future with Mick, a future that encompassed much more than mere friendship.
He would never have expected to feel this way about another man. It had shocked him to realize the depths of his feelings for this man; more than shocking him, it had made him question his sanity for a while, wondering if there was something wrong with him.
After what had been done to him on the night he'd been turned, he would have thought that that last thing he would ever want was a relationship with a man. A friendship, yes, but a physical involvement? That didn't seem possible. Not for him.
But that was what he wanted with Mick St. John. He'd tried to deny it when he'd first met the man and felt the surge of sexual attraction that he hadn't been able to hold back. But he'd finally had to admit that this was the person he wanted.
He wasn't going to keep on like this forever. Sooner or later, he was going to confront Mick with the truth of his feelings -- even if that meant making the man he loved step away from him. He owed that truth to Mick -- and also to himself.
Love? Did he love Mick St. John? Josef's eyes widened almost imperceptibly as the thought came to him, striking him with the force of a blow to the solar plexus. If he hadn't been in a room full of people, he would have gasped aloud from the shock of that blow.
Yes. He had to admit it to himself, be truthful about his emotions. He did love Mick. He loved this man much more than a selfish bitch like Coraline ever could. And unlike her shallow, superficial obsession, Josef's love wouldn't fade away or lose its intensity.
He should be there beside Mick, walking around the room with him, wearing that easy look of proprietary pride that was pasted across Coraline's almost feline features. How he hated her at this moment! He wanted nothing more than for her to cease existing. The sooner, the better.
That wasn't going to happen any time soon. Realistically, he knew that all too well. But maybe, if he was lucky, Mick would realize just what Coraline was at some point. He figure out that she didn't love him, but only wanted to own him, to control him.
And that, hopefully, would kill Mick's obsession with her and make him realize that there was someone else in his life who could give him the love that she obviously couldn't. There were other obstacles, but at the moment, Josef didn't want to consider them.
Could Mick fall in love with a man? Did he lean in that direction at all? Josef had no idea if he did or not, but that was something to find out in the future. The problem was, he didn't have a whole lot of time to find out. After all, Mick was human.
Would he be human for much longer, though? He was sure that Coraline intended to turn Mick -- whether she asked him if he wanted it or not. Josef didn't want to see his friend turned in that way; he was sure that it wasn't what Mick would want.
Mick wasn't the kind of man who would adjust easily to being a vampire. And he definitely wouldn't accept being initiated into that life without his prior consent. It would drive a wedge between him and Coraline, true -- but it would also change Mick irrevocably.
Josef didn't want that. He wanted Mick to stay as he was, at least for the time being. If the other man was turned at any point, he wanted to be the one to do it -- with Mick's full consent and knowledge of what he would become.
But until then, if that time ever came, he was reduced to merely being Mick's friend, trying to bide his time and see just what would happen. He would stand in the shadows, waiting for the moment when he could step out of them and hold out a hand to the man he loved.
And until then, he would be following Mick with his gaze, keeping the other man firmly in his sights.***