Title: Love Lasts Forever
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,887
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
Mick rested his head back against the cushions of his couch, heaving a sigh. This was driving him crazy, sitting here alone at night in his apartment and not being with Josef. But his boyfriend hadn't asked him to come over, and he respected the other man's wishes.
He didn't blame Josef for needing some time alone after the assault. But it had been nearly two weeks now, and Mick had been sure that his lover would turn to him for comfort. Not so much physical comfort as emotional; he'd known that Josef would need that.
But apparently the man he loved was trying to pretend that he didn't need any sort of comfort, and that bothered Mick more than he could say. He knew what it was like to shut people out, to feel as though there was no one who could handle what he as going through.
Josef should know by now that Mick would do anything for him, he thought, feeling almost resentful. Why couldn't his boyfriend get past that stiff-necked pride of his to reach out when he needed help, instead of trying to pretend that he was tough and invulnerable?
All he wanted to do was to take Josef into his arms and hold him close, to let his lover know that he wasn't alone. Mick might not have been through the same experience, but he knew well enough what it felt like to be alone in the world and to have no one he could turn to.
No, he didn't, he corrected himself with another sigh. He'd always had Josef. Ever since he'd been turned, Josef had been there for him, whenever he'd needed a shoulder or just needed a friend. Josef had always been the person he could turn to whenever he'd needed anything.
But Josef was turning away from him in his time of need, when he should know that Mick was more than willing to be there for him in the way that he had always been there. That hurt. It hurt more than Mick could put into words.
It felt as though Josef didn't trust him, and that feeling tore at his heart. To love someone as deeply and as completely as he loved Josef, and then to have them feel as though they couldn't turn to him in times of trouble .... it was the most painful feeling he'd ever experienced.
A knock on the door brought Mick back to the present, tearing him away from his thoughts. Getting up, he frowned as he moved towards the door, wondering who could be there. Who would possibly be coming to his apartment this late at night?
He paused without looking through the peephole; there was no sense of danger from the other side of the door, though it could be masked. Still, he was feeling reckless tonight, more so than usual. Mick opened the door with a flourish, his jaw dropping when he saw who was standing there.
Josef was standing there in the hallway outside his door, his hands shoved into his pockets, a sheepish expression on his face. When the door opened, he looked up, that crooked little smile that Mick loved so much curving his lips, his eyes seeming to light up.
"Hi," he said softly, sounding a little breathless. "I know it's pretty late, but I wanted to see you. I figured if I called, you might think of some reason for me not to come over here. Like saying that I shouldn't be out walking around the city alone late at night."
Mick wanted to be calm and cool, to act as if Josef was right and he was concerned about the fact that his boyfriend had been walking around Los Angeles alone when there was a vampire out there who might try to kill him. He wanted to say that Josef could take of himself.
But he couldn't. All he could do was take the other man's arm and draw him inside the apartment, closing and locking the door firmly behind them. And then Josef was in his arms; he was holding the other man so tightly that he wasn't sure if Josef could still breathe.
"I missed you so much," he managed to choke out, burying his face in Josef's hair and inhaling the slightly spicy, tangy scent that was uniquely his. "I worried about you, I thought about you all the time. And I was starting to think that you didn't want to be with me any more."
"How could you think that?" Josef whispered, his voice catching in his throat. "Just because I wasn't ready to spend any nights being passionate with you doesn't mean that I didn't want to see you. I thought you were tired of me and didn't want me after everything that happened."
"Not want you?" Mick placed his hands on either side of Josef's face, gazing into his boyfriend's eyes. "Josef, there's no way I could not want you. I'll want you forever. Until the end of time. I'll never stop wanting you, no matter what happens. You can count on that."
"That's good, because ....." Josef's voice trailed off; he looked down, avoiding Mick's gaze. "I came over here tonight because I was wondering if ..... if ....." He closed his eyes, clearing his throat before he spoke again. "If you might want to try inserting your Tab A into my Slot B."
Mick was sure that his heart stopped beating for a few seconds when he heard those words; he wasn't sure that he'd heard them correctly at first. Finally, when he could speak again, he only managed to choke out a few words. "Josef, are you sure?" he asked, his voice a hoarse whisper.
"I'm positive," Josef answered, his voice equally soft. Mick could swear that his lover's voice was trembling, but could he blame Josef for that? After what had been done to him, it had to be hard to take this step, even with someone he loved and trusted.
Mick let his hand slide down Josef's back, savoring the feel of his boyfriend's slender body in his arms. How many days had it been now since he'd been able to hold Josef like this, to know that this man was by his side, that Josef belonged to him in every way?
It didn't matter how long they'd been apart. Josef had needed that time to himself -- and that only important thing was that they were together now. Josef still loved him, still wanted him, and still wanted Mick to be with him. They were still lovers, still close, still in love.
One hand cupped Josef's ass, pulling the other man close against him. He could feel that Josef was just as aroused as he was; there was no mistaking the hard bulge in the front of his jeans, the heaviness of his breathing, the tautness of the body clasped against him.
His hand moved back up from Josef's hip to his chest, fingers finding one small nipple through the fabric of his shirt, teasing and stroking. It only took a few moments for Josef's nipple to harden under his fingertips, the stimulation bringing a groan to his boyfriend's lips.
"If you keep doing that, then I'm probably going to drag you off the bedroom myself," he whispered, his breath hot against Mick's ear. "I want you, Mick. I want you to make love to me. I want you to make me forget that he ever touched me. Please."
"I want to strip you naked and make love to you all night," Mick whispered, pulling Josef close to him again. "I want to kiss you all over, be inside you for hours, and make you come so many times you're exhausted. I want to make you forget that anybody else ever touched you."
"All that in one night?" Josef's voice sounded shaky again; Mick realized that he might have overstepped a line. Maybe Josef wasn't ready for all of that so soon; maybe it would be best to just make sweet, gentle love to him tonight and ease into anything else slowly.
"Whatever we do, you're going to be in control," he told Josef, his tone soothing. "I won't do anything you don't want me to do, babe. I promise. There's no way I'm going to rush you." He buried his face against Josef's hair again, words suddenly tumbling out before he could stop them.
"I love you, Josef Kostan," he whispered, his voice strong and steady, his words coming from the depths of his heart, his soul, the core of his being. "I want to spend all of eternity with you. I want to hold you and love you forever. I want to be yours forever. I want to be a part of you."
He was almost bewildered by his own words; they hadn't seemed to come from his conscious mind, but rather from some place deep inside of him that he hadn't known existed. "I love you so much, Josef. I always will. I could never let you go. Never."
"I don't ever want you to let me go," Josef said thickly, his arms sliding around Mick's neck, his fingers threading through the long strands of his lover's hair. "The last few days have been hell. But I needed some time alone to get my head straightened out."
"I almost came to you so many times," Mick murmured, his throat tight. Now he was glad that he hadn't done so; it might have made this meeting less poignant, and their relationship could have gone in a different direction. Waiting for Josef to come to him had been the right thing to do.
Josef had waited for him for so many years -- so didn't he owe it to this man to wait for however long Josef might need him to do so? A few days was nothing compared to the time that Josef had waited for him -- and his lover hadn't caused him nearly the pain that Mick had inflicted.
Love would wait forever, Mick told himself. Love lasted forever. And he loved Josef Kostan more than he could ever imagine loving anyone. And the waiting had been worth it in the end. Josef was here with him; Josef had come to him freely, because he'd wanted to.
"I had a hard time coming here tonight," Josef told him, his voice still trembling slightly. "But I had to. I couldn't go another night without you. I belong with you, Mick. I'll admit that I'm kind of scared, but I need to be here. I need to be with you."
With those words, Josef turned and headed towards the stairs to Mick's bedroom without looking back. Mick followed him, swallowing back his trepidation, hoping that he could make this night everything that he wanted it to be -- and that neither of them would ever have cause to regret it.***