Title: Linger
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,800
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

Mick closed his eyes, leaning his head back on the cushions of his living room couch. It almost felt strange to sit here without Josef being in his arms; the other man had some kind of business meeting tonight, so he wouldn't be in Mick's bed.

He almost hated these meetings that took Josef away from him for hours at a time; he knew that they were essential for his boyfriend to maintain his lifestyle, but it was annoying to have them take up such a large amount of Josef's time when Mick wanted to be with him.

Josef was well aware of how he felt; the bouquet of red roses sitting on his coffee table was proof of that. Mick smiled as he lifted his head and opened his eyes to look at the fragrant blooms; Josef certainly knew how to send flowers in grand style.

His boyfriend knew that he didn't have to send such a lavish apology for not being here tonight; they hadn't had plans, and Mick was aware that there were parts of Josef's life that didn't include him, just as parts of his own life didn't include his lover.

He'd resisted moving in with Josef for this very reason. He wanted them to be together, obviously -- but there was still a part of him that shrank from making the commitment of giving up his own place to be with Josef on a permanent basis, at least in their living arrangements.

Mick knew that his hesitation to take that step cut into Josef; it pained him to know that he couldn't take that step yet, but he was sure that if he rushed himself into it, that part of him would pull back in other ways, and he wouldn't take that risk.

Why wouldn't he? an insistent little voice in his head piped up. Mick wanted to strangle that voice; it was always there to question his decisions, especially the ones that he wasn't absolutely sure about. It always made him think that he wasn't doing the right thing.

Living with someone reminded him too much of his ill-fated marriage, if he was honest about it. He didn't want to lose his freedom, his identity. He didn't want to feel that he couldn't come and go as he pleased, that he was always under surveillance, the way he had with Coraline.

That was ridiculous, the voice in his head told him; it sounded scornful, sneering at him for his flimsy objections. Josef wasn't anything like Coraline; he wouldn't expect Mick to stay under his watchful eye all the time. Josef trusted him, just as he trusted the other man.

Neither of them would cheat; Mick knew Josef too well to let that thought enter his mind. Once Josef was committed to someone, he took that commitment seriously. He would be physically and emotionally faithful for all of eternity. Mick didn't doubt that for a moment.

So what was holding him back? Why couldn't he give up this place, go to Josef and tell him that he wanted them to be together not only in their hearts and souls, but to live together physically? Why was it so hard for him to relinquish that last bit of independence?

Maybe it was because he was so afraid of losing Josef in other ways. Even though he'd been the one to end his tempestuous relationship with Coraline, he had to admit that there were times after her supposed death when he'd ached with loneliness.

And this time, if he and Josef ever lost each other, there would never be another person in his heart. The first one had been a mistake; he'd known that ever since his wedding night. This time, he'd finally found an eternal love -- and losing it would mean his death.

This vampire who was threatening Josef now was obviously a very powerful enemy -- and Mick couldn't help feeling that this "business meeting" tonight somehow involved him. He'd felt uneasy all day, ever since Josef had told him that he wouldn't be coming over tonight.

What if this was the end? What if, tomorrow morning, he found out that this had been the last night of Josef's life -- and he hadn't been by his lover's side in his last moments? What if he had let his eternal love slip through his fingers, without knowing what was happening?

He sat bolt upright, his gaze focusing on the blood-red roses there on his coffee table. Their scent was lingering in the air, just as Josef's last kiss always lingered on his lips when they parted ways to start their respective days -- or, in this case, nights.

Josef wouldn't have sent these roses as a -- a farewell gift, would he? His lover wasn't the kind of man to go off to certain death and not say goodbye. Unless .... Mick's breath caught in his throat, a sudden pain knifing through his chest in the vicinity of his heart.

Unless saying goodbye would be too painful and he didn't want to put either of them through it.

"No," he whispered, wishing more than ever that vampires had the ability to cry. He wanted to feel tears welling up in his eyes at the thought of losing Josef forever; he wanted to be able to scream and sob, to rail against the fate that might even now be taking the man he loved away from him.

That wasn't possible, he told himself, grasping at any straw that he could think of to turn his thoughts away from the path they'd been moving along. He would know if Josef was dead. He would feel his lover's loss in his heart, in his very soul.

Getting to his feet, he headed for the door, coming to a decision before he'd even let the thought form fully in his mind. He wasn't going to lose Josef. He'd find his lover and take him somewhere safe, even if they had to leave this city and travel all around the world.

Images flashed before his mind's eye in a whirlwind of color and sound; he could see himself bending over Josef's lifeless body, his mouth open in a silent scream. He could picture spending the rest of his life mourning the one person who had completed him, heart and soul.

Mick jerked the door open -- then stepped back with a gasp, his eyes widening. He was sure that he was hallucinating; either his mind had brought this vision to vivid, distinctive life, or he was dreaming and unable to make himself wake up.

Josef leaned against the door frame, raising an eyebrow, shoving both hands into his pockets. "Hey, what do you know? I didn't even have to knock this time," he remarked, flashing Mick that insouciant smile that made his heart melt and his knees go weak. "You're getting better at this."

Mick couldn't speak for a few moments; all he could do was stand there gaping at his boyfriend, unable to process the fact that Josef was here, standing right in front of him. How had Josef known that Mick was worried about him and had been about to go out trying to find him?

He hadn't known. He was just here, and that was the only thing that mattered. Taking two steps forward, Mick pulled Josef into an embrace, wrapping his arms tightly around the other man until he could feel Josef's heart beating against his own.

"What --?" Josef sounded surprised, lifting his head and pulling back slightly to meet Mick's gaze. "What is this all about? Did something happen?" He frowned, shaking his head and raising his hands to Mick's shoulders. "Mick, what's going on?"

"I-I thought I was losing you," Mick managed to whisper, pulling Josef inside his apartment before locking and bolting the door. "That vampire who's got such a vendetta against you. I thought you were meeting him -- and the roses were your way of saying goodbye."

"Goodbye? You really think I'd say goodbye to you -- ever?" Josef murmured, taking Mick's face between his hands and gazing into his eyes. "Even if some bizarre quirk of fate made that happen, you know I'd linger with you, don't you? I'd never leave you completely."

Mick gulped, feeling his throat constrict to the point where it was almost impossible to force words out. "I know," he managed to say, wanting to bury his face against Josef's shoulder and hold his lover close. "I was just so sure that you were --"

Josef shook his head, placing his fingers against Mick's lips. "Shhh," he whispered, gazing into Mick's eyes for a moment more before removing his fingers and replacing them with his lips, kissing Mick until the other man was breathless.

"I'm not leaving you," he whispered, resting his forehead against Mick's and closing his eyes. "Not now. Not ever. If I ever did, I'd leave a lot more behind than just the scent of roses to linger for a while and then disappear. And I'd never leave without saying goodbye."

Mick nodded, the knot of panic that had formed in his heart loosening and dissipating. He'd known the truth of Josef's words, of course. But his concern for the man he loved had taken over, and he'd jumped to conclusions that he had no business coming to.

"What are you doing here?" he asked softly, pulling back slightly to look at Josef. "I thought you weren't coming over tonight."

"My business meeting finished early," Josef told him, sounding surprised. "Didn't I tell you that it might not last too long and I could possibly be over here? If I didn't, I'm sorry. I meant to."

"It doesn't matter now that you're here," Mick told him, his voice soft. He took Josef's hand, leading him through the living room and up the stairs to his bedroom. On their way up, he gazed at the roses on the table, knowing that their scent would linger long after this night was over.

And so would Josef's presence in his heart, and in this apartment. What was holding him back from moving in with this man, from entwining their lives even more than they already were? Nothing but his own fear. A fear that he meant to cast aside -- starting right now.

"I've got something to tell you that I think you'll like hearing," he murmured just before their lips met again.

***