Title: Between Missions
By: nancy
Pairing: Archer/Reed
Fandom: Star Trek Enterprise
Rating: PG-13
Note: HAPPY BDAY JULI!
Summary: After the Enterprise has been decommissioned and before the next great adventure, Malcolm and Johnathan meet up for dinner.

***

It was a very nice restaurant with a friendly atmosphere and not too crowded, even in the bar area. Malcolm looked around for the man who was supposed to be waiting for him, but didn't spot him and so walked over to the host. Keeping his voice low, Malcolm asked, "Has Captain Archer arrived?

"And you are, Sir?"

"Commander Malcolm Reed."

The young man smiled and replied, "Yes, Sir, of course. If you'll follow me?"

Malcolm did, walking through the dimly lit restaurant that seemed far more on the romantic side than for two friends getting together to catch up. It had been ten months since the Enterprise had been decommissioned and he'd only gotten a few messages from the Captain during that time, not that he'd been terribly surprised. The Captain had been involved in a lot of political handshaking since they'd returned, all of it involuntary, Malcolm was sure. The few times that Malcolm had been in the area, the other man had simply been too swamped to see him.

For whatever reason, that had changed. He'd gotten a message from the Captain just the day before, asking to meet him at this restaurant, today, at eight p.m. There was no question of Malcolm not going, even if the Captain's voice hadn't sounded exhausted and almost plaintive, so unlike himself. Unsure of whether it was business or pleasure, Malcolm had decided that casual dress was called for and so had chosen fitted brown slacks and a dark gray sweater that was warm enough to combat a cold and damp winter night.

Malcolm saw the Captain at the far end of a side room that held only a few booths and no people. Given his notoriety in the news media, Malcolm wasn't surprised the Captain had opted for a private area. It was probably the reason this restaurant had been chosen. He smiled upon seeing Captain Archer napping while sitting straight up and held up a finger, cautioning the host not to wake him. Almost whispering, Malcolm said, "Some hot English tea and a hot chocolate, please."

The host nodded and walked silently away.

Standing beside the Captain, Malcolm took a few moments to just look at the other man. The intervening months had been hard on him, that was plain to see in the lines of exhaustion marring his face, and the dark circles under his eyes. In good times, the other man spent little time on sleep. Malcolm could well imagine that with everything going on, the Captain probably got less than four or five hours a night now. He was as handsome as ever, of course, more so really, with the responsibility etched into his features, even in sleep.

If Trip were here, he would drop something with a loud bang on the table to wake him up, just to see the reaction, Malcolm thought in melancholy fondness.

He thought, in his darker moments, that Trip's death was the reason the Captain barely stayed in touch with him. That Captain Archer felt that Malcolm should have been able to prevent it, thus saving his lover. And then too, he sometimes thought that he simply reminded the Captain too much of Trip. They'd been such good friends and together all the times that Trip and Captain Archer weren't. He was sure that neither could be the truth, but it didn't stop his heart from aching whenever the late engineer or the Captain crossed his mind, which was daily, no matter how much time passed.

Knowing that Captain Archer would hate to be seen at a disadvantage, Malcolm retraced his steps to the entrance leading into the alcove and called out to no one, "No that's all right, I thcan find him." A few patrons gave him strange looks, but Malcolm ignored them, instead walking back into the side area towards the Captain's table.

Sure enough, Captain Archer was awake, if tired, as Malcolm approached. Standing to greet him, the Captain held out a hand with, "Malcolm, it's so good to see you."

Malcolm took the hand with a smile of his own, answering warmly, "And you, Sir, it's very good to see you as well."

"Sit, sit. No need to stand on ceremony," the Captain ordered, motioning to the space opposite him.

Sitting, Malcolm informed him, "I hope you don't mind, Sir, but I took the liberty of ordering some tea for myself and a hot chocolate for you on my way here. It's bitterly cold out and I'm feeling something of a draft here."

"No, that sounds good, actually," Captain Archer assured him. "I was thinking about some coffee, but I don't want to ruin my only chance at a whole night's sleep in months with caffeine."

"Well, there's a little caffeine in the hot chocolate, but not enough to keep you up, I shouldn't think," Malcolm agreed.

As if on cue, a pretty young server approached with their drinks and asked, "Would you like to hear our specials this evening?"

"I already know what I want, actually," the Captain replied, then turned his gaze on Malcolm. "How about you?"

Malcolm nodded and said, "I'll have a New York sirloin, medium well, baked potato with butter, not sour cream, nor chives, and baby carrots."

Captain Archer quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Saw the menu on my way in," Malcolm explained.

He smiled knowingly. "Ah. Well, make that two, except I'll have the sour cream and chives."

"Right away, Sirs."

Malcolm started putting his tea together, observing, "You look tired, Sir. Is all well?"

The Captain shrugged and replied, "As well as can be expected. All of the political rounds have finally been made, so that's over with, thank God. I can concentrate on getting back into space."

Curious, Malcolm said, "I thought you were geared up for a stint on the Vulcan home world, once everything was tied up here."

That warm laugh he remembered so well escaped the Captain who replied, "Officially, yes, that was the next step, but I about raised holy Hell to get out of it. I don't know what paper pusher thought up that assignment, but you can be damn sure they're not going to make that mistake again."

"So it's back out there for you?"

"It is, yes. I'm looking forward to it."

Malcolm sipped at his tea, blowing on it to cool it first, then asked, "Any idea of which ship you'll be getting?"

"Not the Enterprise," the Captain answered with a disappointed sigh. "I was hoping that she'd be mine, but of course they couldn't hold her back to wait for me to be done with all the things that needed doing."

"Well, I'm sure by the time you're ready to get out and about again, there'll be another one, even better, for you to command. They won't just put you on any old vessel," Malcolm assured him.

Smiling, Captain Archer said, "Thanks, Malcolm."

The server arrived with their food just then and set the plates down. "If you need anything, just let me know."

They ate quietly for a while, then small talk about who was doing what these days surfaced. T'Pol had gone back to Vulcan for a few months then returned to work on Jonathan's staff as, again, his second in command, despite the lack of ship. Phlox had stayed on Earth, working in Starfleet medical, and Hoshi was teaching again. Travis was out on the new Enterprise, and Malcolm could hear the wistful envy in the Captain's voice when he spoke of it.

Dinner was almost done before the Captain asked softly, "Have you been to see Trip?"

Malcolm hesitated before nodding. "I stop by every time I'm home."

"He'd like that," the Captain observed with a sad smile. "I miss him, Malcolm. So much it hurts to breathe sometimes."

Without thinking, Malcolm reached out to grip the other man's hand, meeting his gaze with both understanding and the love that he'd felt for Captain Archer. The blue-green eyes looking back at him widened in surprise, which caused Malcolm to instantly withdrawn his hand and retreat into formality. "I'm very sorry, Sir, I didn't mean to be so..."

"If you say ‘forward,' Malcolm, I'm going to hurt you!" the Captain exclaimed vehemently.

That had been exactly what Malcolm had been going to say, but he swiftly changed it to, "Insensitive. I know how deeply you and Trip loved one another and would never do anything to impugn that."

Captain Archer opened his mouth, but the server returned just then to clear the table and Malcolm was saved by a cheerful, "May I get either of you something to drink, or some dessert?"

"I believe the check is all we need," Malcolm replied quickly.

But the Captain countermanded firmly, "I would love some coffee and apple pie, if you've got it. Malcolm? How about you?"

There was a definite challenge in the steady, unflinching gaze of the man who'd faced down a hell of a lot more than an uncertain Englishman. "Um, perhaps another cup of tea would be welcome?"

"Are you asking, or telling her?" the Captain questioned, clearly amused.

Groaning to himself at the mercurial shift of mood, remembering exactly why the steady, predictable nature of his new captain had seemed like such a vacation, Malcolm cleared his throat and replied, "A cup of tea, please."

The server clearly felt there was more going on, but simply nodded and left them alone again.

"So, Malcolm, how long have you felt like this?"

It had been a long time since Malcolm had wanted the floor to open up and swallow him, but that feeling rose up, quite distinct, and he sighed. "Do I have to answer?"

The challenge faded from the Captain's gaze at that and a rueful expression surfaced as he replied, "No, of course not. Am I right in thinking that you feel more for me than simple friendship?"

Malcolm looked away, unable to answer that without showing just how much more than simple friendship he felt.

"Ah hell, Malcolm, why didn't you say anything?"

The soft question set off a sense of irritation and Malcolm looked back at the Captain, asking testily, "And precisely when should I have said something? While you and Trip were together on the Enterprise? A week after his death? A month? Even now you've just admitted to still being in love with him. I don't play second fiddle all that well, Sir. Not at all, as a matter of fact."

The ruefulness grew as Captain Archer shook his head and commented, "The best laid plans."

Malcolm frowned. "Excuse me?"

"Malcolm..." the Captain paused, then continued resolutely, "Trip and I were going to ask you to join us when we got back to Earth."

For the first time in a very long time, perhaps ever, Malcolm was completely without words. There was absolutely no mistaking what was meant by ‘join us,' and yet, he simply could not wrap his head around the concept.

A faint smile surfaced as the Captain observed, "Trip would be proud of me for making you so speechless."

The stirrings of mirth surfaced and Malcolm had to chuckle, agreeing, "He would, at that, the bastard."

The server returned with their drinks and the Captain's dessert, as well as another cheerful, "Let me know if you need anything else, Sirs."

When she was gone, Malcolm questioned, "May I ask why?"

"Why we wanted you to join us?"

"Yes."

Lips pursed, Captain Archer took a bite of the pie before answering, "There are a few reasons, really. We both cared for you a great deal and hated that you were always so alone. No, I know you believe that as security chief, it's your job to stay aloof, but that's a load of bullshit, as Trip often pointed out to me, and I agreed. And I know that..."

Malcolm frowned when the other man's voice trailed off and his eyes slid away, prompting, "You know what?"

A flush surfaced on the Captain's face as he looked back at Malcolm and continued, "I know I didn't treat you very well, the last year we were on Enterprise. Trip kicked my ass for it on a regular basis, but I couldn't stop myself."

Malcolm flushed as well, remembering all those times he'd been unjustly called on the carpet. It had been a hard time for him, knowing that he was failing and disappointing Captain Archer, but unable to find a way to do things in a way to please him. "It was my fault, Sir. I should have..."

"No!" Captain Archer interrupted harshly, taking his hand in a tight grip. "None of that was your fault, Malcolm. You were the best security chief any captain could want. Better than. I was a jerk to you because I couldn't stand to be near you and want you, when I was in love with Trip. He was the one who finally figured it out, you know. One day he just punched me in the gut and snapped at me to go ahead and fuck you, if it would make me a nicer person to be around. Not my proudest moment, believe me."

Shocked, Malcolm again couldn't think of anything to say. Trip had never let on to him that the Captain had even thought of him in such a manner. He'd certainly never let on that there was friction between the couple on account of him. "Sir, I don't know what to say."

Half-smiling, the Captain squeezed his hand and asked, "Do you think you could call me Jonathan?"

It seemed like he would be agreeing to so much more if he did, but it was a privilege that he'd wanted for so long. Malcolm gave a hesitant nod and replied, "Very well. I should, I should like that very much, Jonathan."

"It sounds even better than I imagined, from your lips," Jonathan murmured, thumb moving slowly over Malcolm's hand. "Do you think that we could make a go of this, Malcolm?"

"Do you truly wish to? What about Trip?" Malcolm questioned gently.

Jonathan snorted, eyes crinkling with fond amusement as he replied, "Trip would be the first to kick my ass for dragging it out so long. He loved you, Malcolm, don't ever doubt that. You were his best friend, even more than I was, and depended on you in a way that he never did with me. He wanted you to be happy, and loved. Hated that him sleeping with T'Pol had put such a strain between you."

Another flush overtook Malcolm and he admitted, "It wasn't that I was jealous of him, but that..."

"You were jealous of her," Jonathan confirmed, nodding. "I know exactly how you felt, Malcolm, believe me."

"How did that...I'm sorry...that's far too personal," Malcolm finished, cutting off his curiosity before it could land him in trouble, as it inevitably did.

A strangely bittersweet smile surfaced on Jonathan's face as he guessed, "How did that happen, if Trip and I were together at the time?"

Malcolm nodded.

"I couldn't help him," Jonathan said simply. "The neuro-pressure sessions helped him sleep, helped him wrestle his demons a little better each time. I could see where it was going, for both of them, but Trip wasn't the sort of man you could pen in. We would survive it, or we wouldn't, and ultimately, he came back to me, even if it was T'Pol who gave him a push in that direction."

"That didn't bother you?" Malcolm asked, astounded. He'd been torn up with jealousy and anger over their behavior, and he hadn't even been involved with either one.

Jonathan exclaimed, "Hell yes, it bothered me! It's just...I didn't really have a choice if I wanted to keep Trip. It was just part of who he was. So open, so much life. I'm rather surprised that T'Pol didn't succumb earlier, to be honest. It took a while for us to get back to where we were, but honestly, we were stronger after that. And if I hadn't seen how we got through it so well, bringing you into the equation never could have happened."

Not that it did, Malcolm thought with true regret.

As if reading his mind, Jonathan squeezed his hand again and said, "All we can do is move forward, Malcolm. If you want to?"

Staring back into those pale, changeable eyes, Malcolm could feel himself at one of those all-important moments in his life. His entire future hinged on how he responded, and he knew it.

Saying no would lead him down a safe, comfortable, predictable path. He would rise through the ranks, find a nice woman and settle down in Starfleet to teach one day, have children and give them the childhood of love and cherishing that he, himself, had never had.

If he said yes, there was no telling what would happen. He would most certainly follow the Captain...Jonathan...wherever the restless man wanted to go. Out into space for sure and to the galaxy's edge, most likely. There would be little comfort, probably no children, and certainly no predictability.

Barely trusting himself to breathe, Malcolm shifted his hand so that his fingers could lace through Jonathan's, holding them tight as he answered, simply, "Yes, I want to. Very much."

A brilliant smile burst over Jonathan's face and he brought Malcolm's hand up, kissing the back of it.

Something deep inside eased at that one, simple reaction. Malcolm sighed deeply, a smile of his own breaking free, and he relaxed in a way that felt very new and unusual. Of course, any true relaxation was unusual in and of itself and it wasn't all that surprising that this dynamic man was the only one since Trip to cause him to do so.

"I think we're ready for the check now," Jonathan announced, seemingly to no one.

Malcolm started in surprise when he realized that the server stood beside the table, a large grin of her own visible. "Yes, Sirs! Right away!"

Flushing in embarrassment, Malcolm groaned aloud and complained, "How on earth can I be a good security chief when you make me forget there are others around?"

Jonathan grinned that wicked, enticing grin which had laid claim to many conquests, and replied, "You're a smart man, Malcolm, you're just going to have to figure out a way."

Unable not to return the grin with one of his own devil-may-care that had secured more than one of his own bed-partners, Malcolm was pleased to see hunger flare in the intense, blue-green gaze. Smirking somewhat, he agreed, "I guess I will, at that."

Who needed a predictable and comfortable future when there was love to be had?

***