Title: Foot in Mouth
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,609
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.

***

"So, it's just fucking to you," Josef muttered, staring out at the dark night sky and the twinkling lights of Los Angeles beyond the living room window. "It's just sex, nothing more. That shouldn't surprise me. It's the typical male attitude, after all."

Mick sighed with frustration, running his hand through his hair and cursing himself in every possible way. He should have known better than to make a flippant remark about their sex life; he knew how sensitive Josef was about the subject.

He should never have used the word "fucking" in context of their lovemaking. Josef could use the word easily when applied to other people, but in relation to himself and sex, it brought back the night that he'd been turned much too vividly, and Mick knew that.

Why had he been so damn stupid? He was well aware of how sensitive Josef was when it came to the sexual side of their relationship, and he didn't blame the other man for that. He should have guarded his tongue more carefully.

His heart ached at the thought that he'd hurt Josef; the other man was usually so closed, never letting it be known when he was emotionally wounded, but he'd dropped that facade when the two of them were together. Now there was a good chance it would go back up again.

Crossing the room, Mick moved to stand just behind Josef, hesitantly reaching out to lay his hands on his boyfriend's shoulders. Josef didn't pull away, but Mick could feel him tense under that touch, his body poised and ready to wrench away.

"I didn't mean what I said in the way it sounded," he said, keeping his voice soft and gentle. "I didn't mean that I think you and I are just fucking. With us, it's making love. It was just teasing, Josef. You should know that by now. You know me well enough."

"That's not how it sounded to me," Josef replied, his voice cold and distant. "From what I heard, you think that the two of us are just fucking. Not making love. Just sex, nothing more. That's okay. If that's what you want, you can go get that from anybody. No big deal."

"I don't want to be with anybody but you!" Mick's voice was sharper than he'd intended it to be; he wanted to curse himself again for getting upset. The last thing he wanted to do was yell at Josef and make this worse than it already was.

"Yeah, you don't want to fuck anybody but me, you mean," Josef sneered as he pulled away from Mick's touch. "You say you love me, but you don't look at the physical side of what we have as anything more than sex. Just fucking."

Mick sighed, reaching for the other man again. This time, Josef did move away; he was on the other side of the room before Mick could touch him. He let his hands drop to his sides, regarding Josef blankly, not knowing what else he could say.

Josef glared at him, that look making Mick flinch. He'd always thought it was amusing when Josef turned that gimlet-eyed stare on others, never thinking that it would be directed at him. Being on the receiving end of that glare wasn't pleasant.

"Josef ...." Mick wished his voice didn't sound so shaky; he couldn't seem to get it under control. He took a deep breath, swallowed hard, and tried again, spreading his hands helplessly in front of him and not moving closer to his lover.

"I honestly didn't mean that the way it sounded to you." He had to make Josef understand that he hadn't meant to hurt him, and that he didn't regard their lovemaking as mere fucking. What they shared was so far beyond sex, beyond even love.

"When I'm with you, it's always making love. It's never just fucking. Saying that I'd be fucking you silly was the stupidest thing that's ever come out of my mouth. I just meant that I want to make love to you until we're both senseless," he said, feeling helpless.

"That's not what it sounded like to me," Josef shot back, taking a few steps toward the front door and crossing his arms over his chest. "If I just wanted sex, I could get that anywhere. I thought we had more than that, but apparently you don't agree with me."

"What?" Mick blinked in surprise, wondering how his flippant remark could have made Josef feel this way. "What the hell are you talking about? Do you really believe that you're nothing but sex to me? If that was how I felt, I'd have fucked you once and then left."

Josef turned away at that, but not before Mick had seen the stricken look that crossed his features for a split second. Yet another stupid thing to say; of course that would remind Josef of the men who had raped him and left him to die before he'd been turned.

"Josef, I'm sorry." Mick crossed the room in a split second, laying his hands on Josef's shoulders again and determined not to be shrugged away this time. "I keep saying the wrong thing, and you keep taking my words the wrong way. I love you. I don't mean to hurt you."

Taking a deep breath and praying that he would manage to say the right thing for once, he continued. "I've loved you ever since I first saw you. And ever since the first time I was with you, it's never been just sex to me. It's always been love. Every time."

He closed his eyes, his grip on Josef's shoulders tightening. To his relief, he felt the other man relaxing, though Josef didn't lean back against him. But at least he wasn't pulling away, or telling Mick to leave. If only he didn't put his foot in his mouth again, they'd be okay.

"I know you probably think I'm weak for letting it mean so much to me," Josef whispered, his words making Mick blink in surprise again. "I've never opened myself up to anybody the way I have to you. Not even Sarah. That's why I don't want to feel like it's just sex for you."

"Josef ...." Cautiously, Mick turned the other man around to face him; he placed a finger under Josef's chin, tilting his lover's head up so that their gazes met and held. "I love you so much. You could never be just sex. Never. You're too important to me."

Carefully, he drew Josef close to him, relieved when the other man's arms slid around him and he pressed his forehead against Mick's shoulder. They stood like that for a long time, Mick feeling relief wash over him in a wave that enveloped his entire body.

All he wanted now was to take Josef to bed, undress him slowly and gently, and make love to him until the sun came up. He wanted to make up for his thoughtless words, for the pain that they'd obviously caused the man he loved, even though it had been unintentional.

"I love you," he whispered, the words coming from his heart. "I love you more than I ever thought I could love. You mean everything to me, Josef. I could survive after losing anybody else. But I'd die without you. I wouldn't want to live in a world without you in it."

"You'll never have to," Josef told him, his voice muffled from pressing his face against the column of Mick's throat. "I don't ever intend to leave you, Mick. I know what it's like to be alone for centuries. You try to fill the void, but you never can. I don't want that for you."

"I'm never going to let you be alone again," Mick murmured, his voice catching in his throat. "You had to spend too much time alone and not trusting people. I wish I could take all that away, but I can't. All I can do is make the future better for you than the past was."

"You do that just by being with me," Josef told him, his voice cracking. "Even when I get mad at you, it can't last for long. You've got a way of putting your foot in your mouth, Mick, but you always manage to get it out again without a lot of harm being done."

"That's me, the king of foot in mouth disease," Mick joked, trying to lighten the moment. "My foot knows exactly where to aim, but I'm working on keeping it away from my mouth as much as I can. Bear with me, okay, babe? I'm trying, I really am."

"I know," Josef said softly, raising his head to meet Mick's gaze. "I shouldn't let myself get so upset about things that you don't mean -- but my emotions get ahead of my brain. I'll try to work on that, but I can't promise I'll be able to control my feelings all the time."

"You wouldn't be my Josef if you did," Mick murmured, bowing his head to capture Josef's lips with his own. He might not do such a great job of keeping his foot from approaching his mouth, but hopefully, he could stop himself before it headed that way again.

***