Title: One Way Or Another
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,573
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
Los Angeles, 2008
Josef ground his teeth in frustration, throwing the paper he'd been pretending to read to the floor and getting to his feet. He went to the picture window of his penthouse, looking down at the lights of the city below, his mind focusing on one particular person in this metropolis of thousands.
Where was Mick tonight? Was he at home, feeling as lonely and frustrated as Josef himself did? Or was he out somewhere in the city, working on case that it would be eaiser for him to follow at night? Was he safe, or was he in some kind of danger?
Of course he wasn't in danger. He'd feel it if Mick was in trouble; somehow, he would know. There would be a blurring around the edges of his consciousness, an almost sixth sense that would tell him he was about to lose someone he cared deeply for.
Where was Mick, out there in the city? Was he alone? Or was he .... Josef swallowed hard, pushing down the knot of anger that rose to form a lump in his throat. All he could think of was the fact that Mick might be with that blonde bitch.
He hated her, Josef thought, a wave of anger sweeping over him. If it was up to him, he would have gotten rid of her long ago, but he couldn't hurt Mick like that. For some reason, the man he loved thought that he cared for her as more than simply a friend.
Josef was positive that Mick didn't love her. He just felt some misguided sense of responsibility towards her after what Coraline had nearly done to her in that aborted attempt to start a family. And unfortunately, he probably always would.
If only he could show Mick just how underhanded the bitch was! Josef knew that Beth was the person who had leaked the "existence of vampires" pictures and stories to her new boss; he had irrefutable proof of it. But Mick would never believe him, even if he was shown that proof.
Mick was too caught up in his supposedly "romantic" idea of having a relationship with a human. He thought that somehow, that would help him regain a piece of his own humanity -- even though Josef didn't think he had anything to worry about there.
The man he loved was more human than any vampire he'd ever known. He might have fangs, drink blood, and have all of the other abilities that came with being what he was, but Mick St. John still had his basic human decency. Josef was sure that he'd never lose it.
What was it going to take for Mick to realize that Beth wasn't the source of his humanity? Josef didn't know what it was, but one way or another, he was going to bring Mick around to his way of thinking. He was going to show up that bitch for what she was.
And somehow, he was going to bring himself to finally tell Mick how he felt. He couldn't go on like this, watching the man he loved throw himself away on people that weren't worthy to lick his boots. He wanted Mick to have more than what they could give him.
All right, so maybe his motives were selfish. Josef shrugged off the thought, turning from the window and going to the bar, pouring himself a glass of blood and draining it within seconds. But they stemmed from a very real need to do what he felt was best for Mick.
He didn't care what anyone else might think of his motives. He knew that he wanted Mick to shake of the influence of someone who could hurt him badly -- and who could put the entire vampire community at risk. They couldn't afford to let her into their midst.
Besides, Mick deserved better than someone who only wanted to use him, someone who had already hurt him more than once with her indecision and her insistence on having everything her way. Mick needed someone who would put him first.
And yes, he would do that, Josef told himself, closing his eyes and bringing an image of the man he loved into his mind. He would do anything for Mick. He'd loved this man since they'd first met; he was prepared to do anything he had to do for that love to be returned.
One way or another, he'd make Mick love him, he vowed, his fingers tightening on the glass in his hand. Only a moment after the thought went through his head, he closed his eyes, sighing and slumping against the bar as he set the glass down with a soft thump.
No, that wasn't the way he needed to think. If he was going to do that, then he'd be no better than Coraline had been when she'd turned Mick without his knowledge. He wasn't that ruthless; he wanted Mick to love him openly and freely, not out of some compulsion.
How was he going to achieve that? Right now, it seemed like Mick was as obsessed with that bimbo as he'd been with Coraline when he'd first met her. What was it going to take to make him look at a man who loved him more than life itself?
Mick probably wasn't even interested in men, Josef told himself, sinking into a depressed mood more quickly than he'd thought he could. He wouldn't want anything more of their relationship than to continue to be friends -- for all of eternity.
But there had been such sparks between them at times, Josef reminded himself. He was sure that those sparks hadn't just come from his direction. Mick had seemed to be more than interested -- before he'd pulled back, seeming as though he regretted doing so.
He was sure that there was something hidden under the surface, feelings that Mick wasn't ready to open up to yet. He himself hadn't found it easy to admit to his feelings -- and he'd had a lot more trauma in his background than Mick could have dreamed of.
After all, Mick hadn't been gang-raped before he was turned, he told himself wryly. And he hadn't had to deal with other vampires trying the same thing with him more than once. No one had ever succeeded, of course, but that didn't make Josef less paranoid.
Mick was the only man he'd met in all of these years that he'd had romantic feelings for -- and the only man that he'd actually wanted in the physical sense. The fact that he actually wanted to be with another man seemed like a miracle in itself.
Why had he fallen in love with Mick St. John? Why couldn't he have had feelings for a man who would be easier to be with? Why had his perverse nature chosen to make him fall for someone who was probably never going to want to be more than a friend to him?
No, Josef told himself, shaking his head firmly and going back to the window to stare out into the bright lights of the city again. There were definite sparks between the two of them. Mick felt more for him than friendship. He was absolutely sure of that.
What he felt for Mick was something completely unexpected, something that had shocked him when he'd first recognized what his own emotions were. And one way or another, he would manage to find out if there was any chance that Mick shared those emotions.
If he did .... Josef could almost feel his heart leap into his throat at the thought. Was he ready for any kind of physical relationship with Mick? He thought so, but the idea still made him tremble. He wasn't sure if that shaky feeling was from fear or desire.
What would he do if Mick never realized his own feelings, if the worst-case scenario happened and he actually turned that bitch? If that happened, then Josef knew he was in for a lifetime of hell, an eternity of longings that he would never be able to assuage.
If that happened, then he would have to leave Los Angeles. He'd have to either move back to New York, or go to some other city where he could continue to run Kostan Industries, but wouldn't have to see Mick again. He wasn't going to put himself through that kind of pain.
And if Mick did feel the same way .... well, he'd celebrate that instance when it actually happened. But for now, he was going to have to find some way of showing Mick how he felt, to make the man he loved look at him as more than just a friend.
He'd find a way, Josef vowed to himself, closing his eyes and clenching his hands at his sides. He didn't know how at the moment, but one way or another, he would get through to Mick St. John. He just hoped that the other man would accept -- and return -- what he himself felt.***