Title: Pandemic 2
By: nancy
Fandom: Law & Order: SVU
Pairing: Alex/Olivia & Elliot/George
Rating: R
Series: 1) Pandemic
Warnings: slash and femslash in this one, violence, rape, beatings, language, WiP?
Summary: Danny feels like he's in the way and goes back to Elliot and George. By the time Mac figures out how he feels, it might very well be too late. xover with CSINY.

***

Mac woke a split second before Don said softly, "Mac, wake up," survival instincts kicking in at the noise in his bedroom. Rubbing at his eyes, Mac replied, "I'm awake. What's wrong?"

"Of course you are," Don muttered. Louder, he said, "Danny's gone."

Mac went still for a few seconds, and then jumped out of bed, completely and fully awake. "What do you mean, ‘gone?’”

"I mean, he left a note saying he's gone and not coming back. One of the kids found it."

Mac took the paper and went to light the candle beside his bed.

Mac,

I'm sorry for duckin out on you like this, but I knew you'd stop me from going and I can't stay. Not after Aiden. I'll be fine, so don't worry. When I clear my head, I'll come home.

Danny

Swearing softly, Mac demanded, "Tell me he took weapons."

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

“He grabbed a pistol and a shotgun, but no spare ammo," Don explained.

Ten, maybe twelve rounds max, Mac thought, caught between fury and panic. Taking a breath, he blew out the candle and grabbed his gunbelt, strapping it on before ordering, "Let's go."

Don fell into step with him. "What're you thinking?"

"That I'm going to find him, drag him back here by the hair if necessary, and then beat the crap out of the little shit," Mac snapped.

Don snorted and commented, "I'm going to assume that's fear talking. What are you really going to do?"

Mac grimaced at his friend, replying, "I'll figure it out when we find him. Damn it! I should've seen this coming!"

Don gripped his shoulder, bringing him to a stop at the kitchen as he said, "You're not psychic, Mac, no matter what rumors you like to spread. We all knew he took Aiden's death hard and none of us saw this coming, either."

"I should have," Mac bit out. "I know Danny better than anyone and I should have known that he'd run away."

Don's hand tightened and he said, "You can beat yourself up about it later. Where do you want to start?"

The city was still so big, even at half-capacity, that Mac literally had no idea. Danny's only haunts were with them. He didn't have any hidey-holes that he went to, not since hooking up with them. Thinking back seven years to when he'd first spotted Danny, a too-skinny gutter-rat stealing for a living, Mac said at last, "He used to be over by Phillips St. I guess we should start there."

"Would he go back there?" Don questioned.

Mac shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. He's not the same kid he was back then."

"He's not a kid at all, Mac."

Mac grimaced again and retorted, "He's not an adult, running away like this. Not emotionally, anyhow."

Don didn't argue, instead suggesting, "What about going to Manhattan?"

Mac hesitated, but shook his head. "He practically breaks out in hives when we even get close to the bridge and there's guards there anyhow. They wouldn't let him through."

"If he said he was going to visit George they would."

And George might just represent comfort and safety enough that Danny might go to him about Aiden. The two men had bonded over George's ordeal and visits between them were frequent enough that it was a distinct possibility. What that said of what Danny had gone through before being placed under Mac's protection, he didn't even want to think about. Always before, though, whenever Danny went to meet the psychiatrist, Mac had walked him to the bridge and Elliot had met them there.

"It's a good place to start," Mac allowed. "Let's get Stella and head out."

"Already here," Stella announced from behind.

Turning, Mac caught the shotgun that she tossed to him and shouldered it without a second thought. Don took the semi-auto she tossed to him and did the same. Pulling out his pistol, Mac checked the chambers and resettled it in the holster. Looking at the other two, who'd done the same, he ordered, "Let's go."

They barely made it out of the building before a woman careened right into Mac. He staggered back a couple of steps, arms automatically going around the petite girl protectively.

She pulled back and exclaimed, "You have to help him! He was saving me, you have to help him!"

Knowing that she had to be talking about Danny, Mac demanded, "Where is he?"

Grabbing his hand, she started running and he followed, Stella and Don right on his heels. They only went about a mile before gunfire became audible. Mac guided the girl to an alley, pushing her carefully against a wall before ordering, "Stay here."

"But I want to help!" she protested, dark eyes wide.

Mac shook his head. "You can't right now, we don't have enough weapons for you. Just stay here so we know you're safe, okay?"

She nodded, looking reluctant, and pointed to the high rise across the street. "He's in there."

Of course he is, Mac thought angrily.

It was falling apart, probably held together only by spit and duct tape, and there was absolutely no cover to get there. Looking at Stella and Don, he said, "Wing and a prayer time."

Both nodded grimly, pulling out their weapons as he did. Mac took a breath and ran as fast as he could to the building. No one shot at him, so presumably, whoever it was, was busy shooting at Danny. Not a very comforting thought, but he would take whatever help he could get.

Moving along the wall to the front entrance, he peered inside and found the front lobby deserted. He crept inside and waited for Stella, knowing Don would've gone around back. She arrived a few seconds later, taking the opposite wall. The lobby was an open floor plan and he started ahead towards the stairs, knowing Stella would be right behind him. Mac slowly nudged the door open, glancing up and down, but didn't see anyone. He opened it the rest of the way, gun at the ready, but it was empty. Stepping inside, Mac began climbing the stairs, searching the flights above him, making sure to go slower as they neared the gunfire exchange.

Stopping, Mac peered out of the doorway. He spotted Danny across a large, open, decrepit space. Plaster hung off the ceiling and walls in patches. There were holes in the floor, showing metal beneath. The windows were blown out in jagged shards, creating a wind-tunnel effect. Danny was pinned in a corner, curled up into an impossibly tight position to make the most of his barely-there shelter.

Mac's heart leaped into his throat as he saw someone through a crack in the wall behind Danny. Without thinking, he jumped into the room, shouting, "Danny, down!" and taking aim at whoever it was behind the wall. Danny flattened himself to the floor and Mac shot repeatedly even as he ran forward, towards Danny.

Fire burned through his shoulder, but Mac ignored it. He picked off the guy behind Danny and the two on the east side, behind a table, while Stella got the other three. Silence reigned at last and Mac holstered his gun as he skidded to a halt beside Danny.

Danny pushed upright as Mac dropped to his knees and hauled the younger man against him. He felt Danny’s wild heartbeat and the harsh panting of his breath, both likely due to fear and adrenaline, his own echoing madly. He pulled back just far enough to kiss Danny hard, but short, and then exclaim, "What the hell were you thinking!? Jesus, Danny, you almost got yourself killed!"

Big blue eyes stared at him in shock as Danny stammered, "You just, you kissed me!"

"And then I asked a damn question!" Mac snapped. "What the hell were you thinking?"

Stella unexpectedly slapped Mac upside the back of the head. "Tell him you're happy that he's alive and then you can finish the argument when we're home."

Don seconded that notion with, "Yeah, let's get the hell out of here. Feels like the place is going to fall apart under our feet."

Mac got to his feet only to stumble a little as lightheadedness overcame him. Strong arms caught him up and he leaned on Danny, groaning in delayed pain. "That hurts."

Stella smacked him again and scolded, "That's what you get for not taking cover!"

"Can I get patched up before you start hitting me more?" Mac complained.

Stella snorted. "Maybe."

They left the building slowly, but even so, Don had a close call when he went partially through the floor on the way back to the stairs. It was a miracle that Mac hadn't gone through altogether with how he'd been running around, he knew that now. Stella and Don took point and rear so that Mac could lean on Danny down the eight flights. The street was clear, thankfully. Or, more likely, no one wanted to mess with Stella and Flack.

By the time they got back home, Mac was dizzy with blood loss and barely coherent as Danny brought him into the kitchen. They lifted him onto the table and he groaned in pain as his back hit the wood. He vaguely heard Stella ordering Flack around and Danny talking urgently in his ear, but couldn't make out what was said.

A cloth came down over his face and he jerked away from it, but Don held it firmly in place. Mac had no choice but to breathe in the sickly sweet fumes of chloroform and darkness soon followed.

* * * *

Danny paced tensely just outside the area where Stella worked efficiently and carefully to remove the bullet in Mac's shoulder. Thank God the man who'd raised her had been a doctor and she'd followed in his footsteps. At least to a certain degree. She'd patched them all up at one point or another, but it felt much, much worse this time. Now that all he could do was pace and watch Mac's blood drip onto the floor.

When Stella finally got to the bandaging stage, Danny demanded, "How is he? Is he gonna be okay?"

Stella nodded, but looked worried as she answered, "He lost a lot of blood, Danny. If I'd known he was leaking that bad, I'd've bound the wound until we could get here. We just need to keep him resting for a few days so his body can rebuild the blood supply."

"I can do that," Danny promised, returning to his spot beside the table.

Stella smiled as she looked at him and said, "I know you can, Danny."

Taking Mac's good hand in both of his, Danny cradled it to his chest. He could still feel Mac's mouth pressed against his own, as brief as the contact had been. Danny looked over at Stella and asked, "Does he…I mean…what was that kiss about? Like, just, `hi, glad you're alive,' or `glad you're alive, wanna jump your bones?'"

Stella washed her hands as she chuckled and replied, "You should ask him that, but I'm going to go with option number two, with an additional, `glad you're alive, wanna jump your bones, and make sure you're in my life forever.'"

Danny blinked at her. "Nossir!"

"Yessir!" Stella teased, grinning outright. "But like I said, you really need to talk to him about it. Oh, and Danny?"

"Yeah?"

"He hasn't been as serious about anyone like he is with you, not since Claire. Don't take no for an answer, okay?"

A warm flush of pleasure ran through him at her words and Danny ducked his head as he grinned and said, "I won't, thanks, Stella."

Don shook his head as he left the kitchen, but Danny caught a glimpse of a grin on the other man's face. Stella patted Danny's shoulder on her way out. Pulling a chair over, Danny sat down to wait for Mac to wake up.

* * * *

It was three hours later that Mac finally made noises like he was coming around. Danny jumped to his feet and retook Mac's hand in his, leaning on the table as he asked, "Mac? Can ya hear me? Come on now, wake up for me."

Mac groaned and said, "I'm still going to kill you, just as soon as I can move."

Danny grinned as Mac's eyes opened, because even as dilated as they were, they were a sight he'd been aching to see since the other man had dropped under the rough anesthesia. "I'll hold you to that, but you got to rest now."

"Not on this table, I don't," Mac complained, trying to sit up.

Danny hurried to support him with an arm around the waist. "Come on, Mac. You can't be moving around now!"

Mac looked at him and retorted, "I'm not spending the next few days on a table, Danny. Besides, where will everyone eat? Bad enough they need to get a new table with all the blood. Help me get to bed and I'll stay put. Actually, help me to the bathroom first."

Danny helped him off the table, taking most of Mac's weight as they left the kitchen for the bathroom. It was an indoor outhouse, really, and Danny thought wistfully of his visits to George and Elliot's apartment with its insanely awesome bathroom. Everything here at home drained down the pipes to the basement and every other day, a pair of scheduled “volunteers” took the building's refuse to the ocean. Mac always complained about polluting the water, but allowed that it was better than dying from disease.

He did his best not to look at Mac as the other man relieved himself, staring at the wall until he heard the zipper go back up. Danny found an amused expression on Mac's face when he did look at the other man and grimaced at him.

Chuckling, Mac observed, "We've got the same equipment, Danny, nothing to be shy about."

Danny flushed a little and muttered, "Yeah, whatever."

It took a long time to get Mac up the stairs to his bedroom and Danny was just about carrying him by the time they got there. He carefully lowered Mac to the bed and found himself tugged down on top, just barely stopping himself in time.

"Come on, I'm not going to break," Mac urged, pulling at him with his good hand.

Danny angled to land beside the other man and hesitantly curled up against him, putting an arm over Mac's midriff. It felt better than anything Danny had ever felt before. Physical intimacy wasn't exactly something he was used to. He'd been fucked plenty of times, but this kind of thing was totally and completely new.

Mac sighed slowly, his breath rustling Danny's hair. "This is nice."

"Yeah," Danny agreed softly. "It's real nice."

Those warm lips touched his forehead this time and then asked him, "Are you okay with this?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Just checking."

Danny hesitated again, before questioning, "Why didn't you say nothin' before now?"

Mac shrugged under him, then gasped. "Remind me not to do that again."

"Don't do that again," Danny obliged, grinning.

Mac snorted and replied dryly, "Thanks. As to why I didn't say anything…I'm not sure what this is, Danny. I don't know what I feel, except I don't want you anywhere but with me. It's not the same as what I felt for Claire, but, I guess it's as close as I'm ever going to get again."

Great. So I'm a replacement, Danny thought morosely, staring at the wall.

"I didn't say that right," Mac groaned. "I'm going to blame the leftover drugs in my system."

Danny muttered, "It was chloroform, there aren't any."

Sighing, Mac replied, "You're right. I'm just very bad at this."

Danny tried to sit up, but Mac held him down with a surprisingly strong grip.

"Danny, stop. Just listen to me," Mac requested quietly. "Please."

Danny reluctantly settled back down against Mac and agreed, "Okay."

Once Mac re-secured his grip around Danny's shoulder, he continued, "I don't feel the same for you as I did Claire, but that doesn't mean it's any less. When you were gone this morning…I panicked. I can't tell you how long it's been since I was that scared. And seeing you pinned down like that…God, Danny…if I never see that again, it'll be too damn soon."

Danny frowned and said, "You don't need to tell me you love me or anything. I don't expect anything like that. I don't need no candy or flowers or, or to, you know, get courted or wooed or whatever. It's not like I ain't been fucked before, Mac. Sometimes I even liked it. I bet, with you, I bet I like it a lot."

Mac's breath hissed out, like he was in pain. Danny pushed upright to see what was wrong, only to have Mac roll out of bed and slam his good fist right into the wall. Repeatedly. After a shocked second, Danny jumped the bed and tried to wrestle Mac away. When he couldn't do it, he shouted, "Don! Stella! Help!"

Mac shook him off and shouted, "I'm fine! I'm under control!"

Danny stumbled back, knocking into the door when it opened unexpectedly. Someone steadied him from behind and he half-turned to see Stella's long curls, relaxing into the hold.

"What the hell is going on here?" Stella demanded, checking Danny briefly before striding over to Mac. "What did you…? Mac, what happened?"

Looking about as stone-faced as Danny had ever seen him, Mac said, "Danny, I need to speak to Stella alone, could you give us a minute?"

Stomach twisted into a serious knot, Danny nodded silently and left the room. He didn't know what had just happened, but he knew that it was his fault. It was always his fault.

"Messer? What's going on?" Don questioned, running to a stop in front of him, along with that dark-haired girl he'd almost rescued earlier.

Danny heaved a sigh. "Fuck all if I know, Flack. Can you do me a favor?"

Don gave him a suspicious look and asked, "What?"

Wincing as Stella shouted something unintelligible in the other room, Danny replied, "I don't want anyone to worry this time, so can you just bring me to see George? I think it's better I don't be here right now."

Don's eyebrows rose. "That's about you?"

"Yeah, I guess," Danny confirmed. "One second me and Mac were just talking and the next, he just lost it, Don. I mean, he put his fist through the wall. So, yeah. I need to get outta here."

Don bit his lip, looking at the closed door from behind which they now heard Mac's raised voice. "Yeah, okay. Hey, Linds, you mind telling Stella we went across the bridge? I'll be back before dark."

The girl looked sympathetic as she nodded. "No problem."

Danny flinched when he heard another shout from Mac and then hurried away from the room. If they hurried, they could be gone before Mac and Stella were done yelling at each other. And while he didn't normally let anyone fight his battles for him, even though he didn't know what this battle was, Danny was pretty sure Stella was better suited to this than he was. She was Mac's oldest friend and could more than hold her own against the other man.

It wasn't just the cool air outside that made Danny shiver as he hiked his bag over his shoulder and followed Don away from the place he'd considered home the last seven years. He had a feeling that he wouldn't be coming back.

At least you got somewhere to go this time, Danny thought, depressed. No one's gonna get through Elliot, that's for fuckin' sure. Not even Mac, I don't think.

They reached the bridge without interference this time. No damsels shouting for help and no one challenging them. Not until they got to the guards on duty at the bridge itself. Don took over when they got there, no surprise there since no one ever took him seriously anyhow. Not that Danny really minded. He could usually fade into the background because of that, which had come in handy more than once.

The guard looked surprised when they got an okay from Stabler that he'd be down there in twenty minutes, but he waved Danny towards the other side of the bridge.

Turning to Flack, Danny smiled and said, "Thanks, man. I appreciate the escort."

Don unexpectedly pulled him in for a brief hug before ordering, "You stay out of trouble and don't go anywhere without Stabler or Finn around, you got me? I hear otherwise, I kick your ass."

Danny grinned. "Got it."

They shook hands and Danny slowly walked across the long bridge. He paused now and again just to look at the water and the two skylines, so very different. Elliot waited for him on the other end, looking about as solid as a brick wall in his gray trenchcoat. Olivia stood beside him, just as sleek and gorgeous as she always was.

"Hey, Kiddo, how's it going?" Elliot greeted.

Danny shrugged. "I've had better days."

Elliot held out a hand, so Danny passed over his bag. "You mind me stayin' a couple days?"

Elliot smiled and answered, "George'd have my hide if you didn't."

It was nice to feel welcome, no doubt about that.

He gave them both a brief smile as he said, "Thanks, I appreciate the lift and the bed."

Elliot put an arm over his shoulder and reminded, "Anything you need, Kiddo, you just remember that."

And while Danny still didn't get why Stabler made such a big deal of him finding George, it wasn't like he'd rescued the guy single-handed or anything, Danny wasn't going to complain. Not when he needed a place to stay, anyhow.

They kept up a steady chatter on the way back to the precinct and Danny hummed happily as he sank into the cushion of the backseat. He didn't even care if he looked like a criminal under arrest, it was just that good. He must've dozed, because next he knew, his heart jumped when someone shook his shoulder and Danny automatically jerked away from the unfamiliar touch.

"Easy there, Danny, it's just me," Olivia said softly.

Flashing her a rueful look, he apologized, "Sorry, Olivia, I just wake up bad, is all."

She winked at him and countered, "You should see Alex. Talk about a monster before that first cup of coffee."

"Oh, God. Coffee," Danny moaned in anticipation.

Laughing, Elliot joined them and ordered, "You're not getting any of the sludge we gotta drink here at the House. We're going out proper for supper tonight and you can have some of the good stuff then."

Danny hesitated. "I don't wanna be a burden or cost you nothin,' Elliot. Seriously. Just give me the sludge and a cot and I'm good for the night."

"If I tried that, it'd be me sleeping on the sofa," Elliot informed him, grinning. "So come on. You want Chinese, pizza, or what tonight?"

The choices were too many, so he hugged himself and answered, "You pick. I can't."

"Messer! What's your scrawny ass doin' this side o'the river?" Finn bellowed from inside the bullpen.

Danny grinned and countered, "Thought I'd come see how the rich folk live."

Finn smirked and they exchanged a complicated handshake. "Yeah, right. I'm swimmin' in it now, baby."

"Found yourself a sugar daddy, huh?" Danny teased.

Munch joined them just them and answered, "I've been called sweet before, but sugar daddy's a first."

Danny's jaw dropped. Everyone around him laughed and Danny flushed in embarrassment as he exclaimed hastily, "Sorry, man, didn't mean to dis you or nothin,' but man. Talk about the Odd Couple, capital O, capital C."

"And don't I know it," Finn told him. "No offense taken."

"All right, people, what's going…Danny! It's good to see you," Captain Cragen greeted, smiling warmly. "You here for long, son?"

Danny shrugged, a little shy in front of the older man. He had a lot of respect for someone who could get that kind of rank and stay the man Cragen was. "Guess until I wear out my welcome?"

Elliot's hands came down lightly on Danny's shoulders and said, "That'd be never."

Danny smiled up at him. "Thanks, man."

"That being the case, where are we with the Galliger murder?" Cragen questioned.

Elliot steered Danny to his desk while Olivia filled the Captain in. "You stay here. We'll be done in half an hour, tops. I told George we'd be home by six. I'm sure he's already made reservations somewhere for seven."

Making himself comfortable at the desk, Danny settled back and watched the activity around him thinking, In another life, this coulda been me.

Getting away from the others for a few days would clear his head as well as give Mac time to cool off. If he happened to spend some time helping out, well, it'd help pay his way so he wouldn't be such a burden to Elliot and George.

Despite that, Danny couldn't help wishing that he were back home.

*  *  *  *

The argument with Stella didn’t end, so much as get forfeited when Mac’s body gave out on him. One minute he was spouting angrily about the state of the world and the next, he was prone on the bed, dizzy and nauseous. Stella sat on the edge of the bed, combing her fingers through his sweat-dampened hair with a worried look on her face.

Once he focused on her, she scolded, “That’s what you get for going on a rant after having lost so much blood.”

Mac grimaced, but didn’t contradict her. He just asked, “Can you get Danny in here? I should apologize for going off like that.”

“Yes, you should,” she reproved gently, standing.

If his gut hadn’t still been doing flip-flops, Mac would’ve done more than weakly flipped her off. As it was, he had to concentrate on breathing evenly and not losing whatever might still remain in his stomach. The dizziness abated somewhat, thankfully, and he winced as he realized that losing his temper the way he had could have scared Danny away; probably had.

Stella returned on that thought and told him bluntly, “Danny’s gone. He went to the bridge with Don as an escort. I guess he really did want to get away from here.”

Even knowing that Don was with Danny didn’t ease the immediate worry that surfaced. He started to get up, but Stella sternly said, “You’re going nowhere, Mister,” and easily pushed him back down.

“Stella,” he protested.

Shaking her head, Stella ordered, “Stay put or I tie you to the bed. I mean it, Mac. You’re recovering from a bullet wound and Danny’s fine. Elliot and George’ll take good care of him and you know it.”

Jealousy seethed through him as he thought, That’s what I’m afraid of.

But he didn’t really have a choice, because he knew perfectly well that Stella would carry out the threat. She’d probably put someone on the door to act as a guard. He wouldn’t put it passed her, anyhow. Glaring at her, Mac retorted, “You’re a sadist.”

“Never said I wasn’t,” Stella countered, smirking. “Now close your eyes and get some sleep before I drug your food.”

Mac hated that he didn’t have the strength to fight her, hated it with a passion, but he didn’t. It helped when she resumed the gentle caress of her fingers through his hair. Claire did that when he’d gotten sick with pneumonia one year and it had been the only thing to keep him sane. Sleep took him eventually, but it was a struggle.

* * * *

The next few days were the longest Mac had suffered through in a number of years. The bullet wound became infected despite Stella’s care, and he sweated through a fever, taking antibiotic pills fit for a horse to swallow. On top of that, all he could think about was Danny’s wrong impression that Mac was angry with him.

When Don had returned and explained Danny’s reason for going, Mac had wanted to shoot himself. Literally. Or maybe have Stella do it for him. Instead, he’d had to settle for thumping his head against the pillow a few times. He’d almost had Don go back with a message, but
figured that Danny wouldn’t believe anything that didn’t come right from him directly.

So he was stuck in bed until the fever broke four days later, weak and nauseas and shaking through the fever, aches, and pains. His entire body betrayed him with its refusal to get better immediately.

Sitting with him on the fifth day, Stella pointed out, “You’ve been going non-stop for years, Mac. It’s not a surprise your body decided that it’s had enough. You burn the candles at both ends taking care of all of us and no one can maintain that pace forever. Not even you.”

Mac slowly sipped at the broth she’d brought him before responding, “I know, but what else can I do?”

“Delegate,” she replied promptly. “Let Don and I do more for you, Danny too. It’s not like we’re unknown in these parts. Ask for help from Elliot and Olivia more. And you know that George wants to put together some kind of aid package. Let him. Stop being such a stubborn ass.”

Mac huffed in dark amusement. “Thought about this once or twice, have you?”

Stella grinned and answered, “I figured it was only a matter of time before you got sick bad enough that you had to listen to your own body, if not me. Just my luck that you got shot.”

“You’re all heart, you know that?” Mac complained, scowling.

Stella tweaked his nose. “I know.”

Changing the subject, Mac asked, “So when can I start getting around?”

“I gather you want to go see Danny,” Stella guessed shrewdly.

Mac nodded agreement. “I don’t like that we haven’t heard from him. Always before, he’d get messages back.”

Stella shrugged and countered, “I’m sure he’s fine. It’s not like Elliot would let anything happen to him. He’s probably just getting some much needed rest, like you should be.”

“You know I won’t until I see him with my own eyes,” Mac pointed out.

Stella sighed. “I know. All right. Tomorrow, if you promise not to get out of this bed until then.”

“And you want me to relieve myself how?”

“I’ll bring you a bottle.”

Mac snorted, saying wryly, “Gee. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Stella did, point in fact, let him up to use the bathroom when needed. Of course, she and Don took turns watching him like hawks, but he took it with relative good grace and only a few dire mutterings. It was only the thought that Danny was with Stabler and George that kept him on good behavior. He’d seen just how much the cop had taken to Danny the last few times that Mac had accompanied Danny on his trips to the bridge.

It made him distinctly nervous.

So Mac did as he was told. He stayed in bed, ate and drank everything that Stella gave him, and took all his pills. He slept through most of the night, for a change, and woke with the sun the following morning. Mac relieved himself awkwardly, just as he had the last five days, and walked back to bed. He felt fairly good, aside from some twinges in his shoulder, and mentally crossed his fingers that Stella would let him make the walk to Stabler’s.

Stella arrived fairly early on, thankfully, and undid the bandages on his shoulder, probing it carefully. Mac winced, but it didn’t hurt nearly as badly as it had even the previous day.

She gave him a stern look as she wrapped clean bandages on him and ordered, “You take it at an easy pace today and we’re going to spend the night, understood?”

“I don’t think Stabler has that much room,” Mac pointed out.

“We’ll find somewhere to stay, but you’re not making the trek there and back in one day, or we don’t go.”

He could tell she was serious and grimaced. “Who’s in charge here?”

“Me.”

“I hate you.”

“I know. Get dressed and let’s go.”

Mac accepted her help out of the bed and then got ready for the journey to what was, essentially,
another world.

* * * *

It took most of the day to get to the bridge, thanks to the pace they kept. Even going insanely slow, Mac had to admit that he was wiped by the time the bridge came into sight; at least to himself. They wound up waiting an hour before Munch and Finn arrived to pick them up on the other side of the river. Fortunately, there were benches that they were allowed to sit in, thanks to Mac’s obviously wounded condition.

Surprised that it wasn’t Stabler and Benson to get them, Mac viewed the two men with a little suspicion, though he tried not to show it.

“Don’t worry,” Finn said, after glancing at him. “Your boy’s fine. He’s in Court with Huang. For some reason, he likes going there and’s been just about every day since he got here. You look like crap, Taylor. What the hell are you doing here?”

Mac blamed the pain for not being able to keep his usual poker mask in place. Before he could respond, though, Stella answered for him.

“We just thought we’d check up on Danny, since we hadn’t heard anything,” she said, smiling. “He usually gets word to us before now.”

Munch flashed a smile at her in return and said, “He’s been a little busy, settling in.”

Mac didn’t like the sound of that and, from Stella and Don’s expressions, neither did they.

“C’mon. We’ll bring you back to the House,” Munch continued.

It was a tight squeeze, the three of them in the back of the squad car, but Mac barely noticed. He couldn’t help thinking about the cool greeting, as if they were at fault for something. They reached the precinct in short order, but Danny wasn’t there. Benson was, though, and she smiled a greeting, looking warmer and more welcoming than Munch or Finn had.

Olivia hugged Stella and shook hands with Mac and Don before explaining, “Court got out early, so they went out to grab something to eat. It’s a bit of a routine, since Danny’s been going with George every day. Nice having someone with him we trust, you know? Elliot still gets a little squirrelly when George is on his own, even at Court.”

Mac knew how the other man felt.

“Food sounds good,” Stella said. “And Mac needs to get off his feet.”

Olivia arched an eyebrow at Mac as she commented, “Danny said you’d been shot, but I still didn’t think it’d take you almost a week to show up.”

“He got an infection,” Don stated flatly.

Mac frowned at his friends briefly, wondering if they were going to let him speak any time soon.

Nodding in commiseration, Olivia said, “That’s too bad. Should you be up and about so soon then?”

“No,” Stella answered. “But you know men.”

Mac opened his mouth, then closed it again as Olivia grinned at Stella in total support. Female
solidarity. Nothing any of them could do about it.

Olivia suggested, “Let’s grab something to eat on the way. I’m sure they’ll be back by then.”

Speaking up, Mac asked, “You know anywhere inexpensive we can stay while here?”

“With us, where else?” Olivia replied, heading for the door. “Stella can stay with Alex and myself, and you boys can bunk down at Elliot and George’s place.”

Which was how he had figured that she would answer, but it was always good to get that kind of information up front. By the time they reached Stabler’s apartment building, after making a stop for subs that Mac had no interest in eating and which Olivia insisted on paying for, it was full dark. Mac’s entire shoulder felt engulfed in fire. Exhaustion dogged his steps and he wanted nothing more than to get somewhere horizontal. He leaned against the wall as they rode the elevator to the right floor and then walked to the apartment.

There was no answer when Olivia knocked so she used a spare set of keys and let them all in as she said, “Make yourself at home, Mac. You look like you’re about to pass out.”

Not far from just that, Mac sank down onto the sofa and groaned simultaneously in relief and pain at the jostling of his shoulder.

Stella helped him take off his jacket and frowned in disapproval before asking Olivia, “First aid kit?”

Olivia disappeared as Stella unbuttoned Mac’s now-blood-soaked shirt and scolded, “Why didn’t you say it was this bad?”

“Didn’t think it was,” Mac gritted out. “It hurt, but I couldn’t feel any blood loss.”

Stella’s lips thinned in disapproval and took the first aid kit Olivia held out to her. Mac closed his eyes against the pain as the bandages were removed and wondered how he’d torn stitches when he’d been moving at a frustratingly slow snail’s pace all day.

“Jesus. We need to get him to a hospital,” Olivia said quietly.

Mac shook his head and replied, “I’m fine. Just patch me up, Stel.”

The door opened just then and Mac’s eyes snapped open hearing Danny’s loud laughter. His gaze locked onto the other man and shock ran through him at the relaxed, happy expression in place. Mac couldn’t ever remember seeing Danny look that way before. The perpetual, underlying tension that marred every expression was just...gone. Until he saw Mac. It was like the walls came up and the bars came down. The laughter vanished in a split second and a host of emotions crossed Danny’s face, too fast to catalogue, other than the most obvious: worry, fear, anxiety.

Danny hurried forward and exclaimed, “Mac! What happened? Someone get you over here? How? Where?”

Don held up a hand, explaining, “That’s from the walk over. Tore the stitches somehow.”

“Not that he really should’ve been walking this far in the first place,” Stella sighed.

Elliot stepped forward, putting a restraining hand on Danny’s shoulder as he said, “We’ll get him to the hospital.”

Mac wanted nothing more than to tear off Elliot’s face for touching Danny like he had the right, but lacked to strength to do anything but stay where he was. “I’m not going to a hospital. Can’t pay, anyhow.”

“I’ll fix him up,” George offered.

Stella gave way to the officially trained doctor, even if his specialty lay in the mind and heart, not the body.

“Stretch out for me,” George ordered. “Elliot, get my bag from the bedroom.”

When Danny hovered nearby, Mac shot him a half-grin and said, “Not exactly the reunion I was hoping for.”

Danny’s arms crossed over his chest as he asked tightly, “How come you’re not better than this? You should be moving around no trouble, all this time later.”

Mac shrugged, then wished he hadn’t. “I caught an infection. Guess I’m not as young as I used to be.”

“You shoulda just sent for me, Mac!” Danny replied, clearly agitated. “I’d’ve come no problem! You shouldn’t’ve walked all the way here!”

Mac couldn’t help wishing that he hadn’t come at all. Danny had obviously done some real healing in his short time here. Healing that was either messed up or destroyed by his blundering in like he owned the young man. Danny had a right to come and go as he pleased. Mac certainly didn’t have any say in how or where he lived.

Elliot came back just then with a large bag and Mac’s time was then spent doing his best not to move as his wound was cleaned, re-stitched, and then bandaged up even tighter than before. His arm was wrapped to his side on top of that, making it almost impossible to move on his own.

“That should do it,” George said at last.

Mac grimaced. “I feel like a Mummy.”

Don grinned. “Yeah, well, you look like one, too.”

“Thanks, Flack,” Mac retorted, dry.

George smiled and said, “I think we should let Mac rest. Come on. I’ll show you to the guest room.”

Don and Danny helped him upright and the whole crowd, minus Olivia and Elliot, followed him into the other room. The room that looked like no one, let alone Danny, had stayed there in a very long time. Danny had a tendency to spread his things out all over and then spend an insane amount of time looking for his stuff.

He groaned as they lowered him to the bed and complained, “I just traded one bed for another.”

“Which you shouldn’t have,” Stella replied tartly. “Next time, you better be more truthful with me about the state of a wound or you’ll be in bed until I say otherwise.”

Mac winced and protested, “It didn’t feel that bad!”

George broke in with a mild, “You can harass him later. It’s time everyone let Mac get some sleep. Mac, do you want some painkillers?”

It just about killed him to admit it, but Mac nodded.

Stella brushed a quick kiss over his forehead and Don gripped his good shoulder briefly before they left.

Danny lingered and said awkwardly, “I’m sorry, Mac. I should’ve let you guys know I was okay. That’s why you came, right?”

“It is, but I shouldn’t have bothered you Danny. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have intruded like this. Just…act like I’m not here,” Mac told him.

George returned just then and helped him drink down the pills. When that was done, Danny was already gone. Mac sighed and looked at the ceiling as he waited for the drugs to kick in.

“We’ll talk tomorrow, Mac,” George promised softly before leaving.

Mac sighed again, not looking forward to the conversation. The drugs hit pretty swiftly, thankfully, and it wasn’t long before he succumbed to the darkness.

*  *  *  *

Danny paced the living room once Stella, Don, and Olivia were gone. He should’ve known that something was wrong. Mac never woulda let him stew like that because he was angry. Mac always made sure that he never took his anger out on anyone, ever.

“Danny, come sit with me,” George requested.

Glancing over at his odd new lover, a word that he still stumbled over, Danny bit his lip but obeyed. He sat on the sofa beside George and found himself pulled slowly downward. Danny sighed deeply as he stretched out on the sofa, resting his cheek on George’s thigh.

Once he was there, delicate fingers combed through his hair and calm slowly began to be restored.  The last five days had been a revelation to him in so many ways, not the least of which was physical. He thought that maybe Mac had been trying to do the same thing that last day they were together. Just lying together talking and holding one another. But then Mac had lost his temper and Danny still wasn’t sure why, though George was sure it was because of how others had treated him in the past.

“That’s better, baobei,” George murmured. “Be still and calm, like water. Let everything wash out of you until you feel safe and rested.”

Danny sighed again, relaxing further. They’d only had two ‘sessions’ as George called them so far, but already he felt better than he ever had. It had been such a relief to tell someone what had happened and know he wouldn’t get thought less of. He’d spent every night and morning in George and Elliot’s bed, sometimes watching and sometimes participating. He couldn’t help but remember that first morning as he drifted, using it to calm himself...

*  *  *  *

Danny woke the next morning about as wiped out as he’d ever felt and, at first, couldn’t figure out why. Before he could do anything, someone shifted behind him and he felt a hard-on right at his ass. He scrambled out of the bed, panic beating at him, and had to crawl over someone else to do so. That someone gasped in pain, but he ignored it in his search for somewhere safe.

He grabbed the handle of the nearest door just as someone from behind exclaimed, “Danny! Danny, it’s okay! It’s George and Elliot, remember?” and he stopped short, memories flooding through him.

George and Elliot together on the bed. Him watching. George sucking Danny’s dick until he came. Elliot holding him. Passing out.

Breathing hard, struggling to get himself under control, Danny stayed where he was.

“Danny?” George asked softly from behind.

Danny exhaled forcefully before turning and offering a weak smile. “Sorry. I wake up bad usually.”

“That’s fine,” George replied, smiling and cupping Danny’s face. “Come on back to bed.”

Hesitating, Danny asked, “You sure?”

Elliot called out lazily, “Both of yas get your asses back to bed. I’m cold!”

Danny grinned when George made a face at the other man and allowed himself to be brought back to the bed. He wound up back in the middle, on his back against pillows to stare up at the other two men to either side of him. “So, now what?”

“That’s up to you,” George told him. “We have a couple of hours before we have to start getting ready for court. We could just get up and get ready early, go have breakfast.”

“Or, we could stay in bed until we absolutely have to get up,” Elliot continued, sliding a hand down Danny’s chest. “God I love men like you and George. So smooth. So sleek. So perfect.”

Danny licked at dry lips and barely managed, “Shut up.”

Elliot grinned, bending forward to mouth one of Danny’s nipples. A shiver ran through Danny at the wet caress and his jaw dropped when George did the same thing to his other nipple. Twin sensations that tickled and teased him at different rhythms. He shifted restlessly, fingers twining into George’s thick hair as he gasped, “Shit! Shit, that’s…different.”

A low chuckle reverberated against his chest from Elliot just before the big man looked up at him and said, “You’re way too verbal right now, Dan.”

Danny opened his mouth to ask what he meant only to have it taken in a slow, deep kiss. He gasped in shock at that, more than anything else that had happened. No one had ever kissed him before Mac and he didn’t know what to do. That brief kiss had nothing on this. Elliot’s tongue slid into his mouth, which felt weird, thick, intrusive even. But good. His body liked it a lot and he groaned into the newest sensation, opening his mouth even further for more.

The kiss broke apart only briefly now and again so he could breathe. He just couldn’t get enough of it and eventually rolled over, pushing Elliot onto his back. Elliot laughed into the kiss, but didn’t protest when Danny climbed on top of him to get better access. Finally, Danny sat back, licking at his own swollen lips and moving his jaw around to get it feeling back to normal. He glanced over to find George resting on his side, slowly jerking himself off.

Danny had to clear his throat in order to say, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to hog him.”

George’s grin was somewhat more wicked than Elliot’s, simply because Danny had never expected to see it. “My pleasure, believe me, baobei. What do you want to do next?”

Danny bit his lip indecisively before climbing off Elliot to kiss George. Different. So very different. Where Elliot had allowed him to take control, with George, Danny simply did. The other man opened to the kiss with a contented-sounding hum, licking along Danny’s tongue to encourage entrance into his mouth. Danny took the invitation and pressed George back against the pillows, straddling his thighs and discovering this put their dicks in contact. The touch electrified him and Danny gasped, breaking off the kiss.

Staring into the dark eyes so close to him, Danny whispered, “Could you, could you do what you did before? Please? It felt real good.”

George’s smile was soft and tender and he reached forward to cup Danny’s face, answering, “It would be my pleasure, baobei. Lie back with Elliot. Kiss him more.”

They arranged him on his back again and Danny eagerly accepted Elliot’s kiss as George’s tongue licked slowly along his dick. Shuddering, Danny gripped the comforter with one hand and Elliot’s shoulder with the other. It felt so damn good. His hips moved and somehow, George didn’t choke or try to get away like Danny always had to. Something happened and his cock just slid all the way down into the hot, wet throat. The second George’s hand rubbed his balls, Danny was lost. He came again in an embarrassingly short time, shooting right down George’s throat.

Collapsed against the pillows as Elliot devoured his mouth like a last meal, Danny panted harshly into the continuous kiss. He felt George’s tongue as it trailed up along his abs and then his chest before stopping again at a nipple. The kiss ended at last and Danny sighed deeply, utterly relaxed.

Elliot smiled down at him and said, “Get comfortable. Time for the show.”

George’s head came up at that and he asked, “And what show would that be?”

“You riding me. Isn’t that next on the list?” Elliot prompted, smirking.

George snorted. “Just for that, I think you should suck me off and then get yourself off. Preferably somewhere else.”

“Oh come on, baby, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Elliot purred, climbing over Danny to kiss and bite lightly at his lover’s lips. “You know I say stupid things when I’m hot for you.”

George folded his arms over his chest, looking away a moment before ordering, “Convince me.”

Danny got a little worried at George’s apparent irritation, but then realized they were playing. He’d seen the same thing happen to Don with women. Teasing. Making someone work for the pleasure. He sure hadn’t expected to see it with an already established couple, figured that it was just the courting, like Stella had explained, once upon a time.

Elliot’s wink to Danny confirmed the whole thing was a set-up and Danny relaxed again. Getting comfortable, Danny shifted onto his side, giving them more room in case it was needed.

George’s arms remained crossed, but Elliot worked around it, using his hands and mouth to caress and bring his lover around. “You know I love you, baby. Love everything about you. Want to be buried in you all the time and it makes me crazy when I can’t. I want to just eat you up and then suck you down as often as I can.”

Danny’s head swam from the low, wicked tone Elliot used and the way he stroked George’s cock every few words, clearly breaking down his lover’s resistance.

“You can make it up to me,” George groaned, sliding down on the pillows.

Elliot put his other hand between George’s legs, palming the balls that hung neat below the slender cock. Danny saw goosebumps erupt all over George’s body, heard the sharp inhalation, and felt a sympathetic shiver. If he hadn’t just come, he’d be getting hard. As it was, his body tingled pleasantly with the effort. And then he jumped in surprise when Elliot went down on George.

He never in a million years would’ve expected that. Elliot was on top, so he did the fucking. Why would he give George a blowjob? It didn’t make any sense. The stronger ones did the fucking and the weak ones the sucking or getting fucked. That was how everyone did it. Danny’s stomach tightened in confusion and anxiety, all the happy-faded-contentedness going away.

“Elliot, stop. El, stop!” George gasped.

Something in his lover’s tone must’ve warned him, because Elliot pulled off almost right away, looking confused. “What’s wrong?”

George took Danny’s hand and asked, “Are you okay? What changed?”

Danny swallowed heavily. “It’s…he can’t do that!”

“Do what, baobei?” George prompted softly.

Waving at George’s lower body, Danny insisted, “That! He’s not supposed to do that! He’s, he’s the strong one, not you! You’re the one’s gotta do that, not him!”

The two men exchanged a glance before Elliot shifted to sit beside Danny, pulling him in close as he explained, “That’s not how we work. If anything, George is the boss of me because I’ll do anything he wants.”

“That doesn’t make sense!” Danny wailed. “It’s not right!”

Elliot’s arms tightened around him briefly and he said, “Love is always right, Dan, always. When it’s about love, it doesn’t matter who does what, as long as both are happy. Generally, I’m on top because George likes to get fucked. I do it now and again when I’m in the mood, but for the most part, George tells me exactly how he wants it. I blow him, he blows me, we sixty-nine it. I eat him out, but he doesn’t eat me out because he’s got a thing about it being unhygienic. He finger-fucks me like nobody’s business, but I don’t like anything much bigger than that in me. We love doing it in public, but he’s more of a risk taker than I am. I tie him up and hold him down, and he beats my ass with a belt every so often when I’m being a prick. It’s all good, Dan, as long as there are two consenting adults involved.”

Danny’s head hurt from all the images Elliot’s words conjured.

“I think we’ve had enough demonstrations for the day,” George said at last. “It’s getting late anyhow.”

Opening his eyes at that, Danny protested, “But you two didn’t get to come, that’s not fair!”

George’s lips pursed and he said, “Tell you what. You go on and take a shower and we’ll finish up here.”

Danny thought about it, then nodded reluctantly. He was too confused to be anything but a problem for them and didn’t want to be.

Elliot caught him before he could climb out of the bed, though, and kissed him, slow and easy. George took over immediately after and Danny lost himself in the kissing, the two men taking turns with him for a long time before it stopped. It took a few seconds before he remembered that he was supposed to be taking a shower.

Offering a self-conscious grin, he said, “Maybe I could, you know, watch. Educational purposes, right?”

George grinned, but Elliot laughed out loud and ruffled his hair, saying, “That’s the spirit!”

Danny flushed a little, but settled back against the pillows to get comfortable again.

*  *  *  *

“You still with us?” George asked, sounding amused.

Danny grinned and shook his head. “Nope.”

“Good. Now that you’re centered again, why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you?”

Sighing a little, Danny opened his eyes to find that Elliot was nowhere in sight. That probably meant the cop was in the bedroom getting ready for bed. “I should’ve sent Mac a message that I was fine. I shouldn’t have thought that he was just making me stew. Mac doesn’t do that.”

“Why didn’t you?” George prompted.

Danny didn’t have to think as he answered, “Because just before he got so angry, we were talking about getting together, like I told you. Or, that he didn’t have to do anything anyhow. I was pretty sure I’d like it when he did me.”

“And what did I say about that?”

“That he was probably angry about what the others had done to me.”

“And?”

“And it’s not right for anyone to use me like that.”

“Right. So. What do you want to do now that Mac is here?”

And that was the question. Danny felt like he should go back with his friends, wanted to as a matter of fact, but then something inside said he wasn’t ready. There was something about being with George and Elliot that made things so clear inside. He wanted to be that clear all the time and Mac just muddled everything up.

Sighing, Danny answered, “I don’t know. I, I don’t think I should go back yet.”

“Then you’ll stay here,” George assured him. 

Relieved, Danny smiled up at him and said, “Thanks, George.”

George smiled down at him. “My pleasure, baobei.”

“Okay you two, time for bed,” Elliot interrupted.

Danny sat upright and looked at the other man, hesitating as he said, “I think I should sleep out here. On the sofa.”

George shook his head. “You can’t let Mac dictate what you do, or don’t do, Danny. We want you in our bed and you want to be there. Nothing gets in the way of that. If Mac truly cares about you, then this won’t matter.”

It was so hard to believe that, but he knew George was right. Danny sighed and nodded as he stood. Truth be told, there wasn’t anywhere else he wanted to be for the near future. Not until he could figure out what he wanted and stick to it.

*  *  *  *

Mac woke with a dry mouth and grimaced at the soreness in the back of his throat. George had thoughtfully come in at some point and turned on a night light, so he saw the glass of water that had been left on the nightstand table. Moving very slowly and carefully, Mac sat up and reached over for the water. A quick look at the clock showed that it was just five in the morning, that he’d slept the whole night through, which was unusual.

He’d just taken a grateful sip when he heard the first moan from the bedroom beside his. Mac grimaced again as the moaning grew louder. He wondered how Danny was handling living with the two lovebirds and got to his feet to check on the young man. It took longer than it should have, but his balance was off thanks to the arm wrapped tight to his side. 

Mac managed to get to the living room without incident, but then stopped in confusion on finding it empty. A quick look around showed no sign of Danny, but there was nowhere else for him to be. A moan caught his attention and he froze, horror rising through him as he realized that there was, indeed, somewhere else for Danny to be. He walked silently to the other bedroom and nudged the door open a couple of inches.

A lamp illuminated the room in a soft glow from the bedside table. His heart stuttered on seeing Danny and George making out passionately on the bed, writhing against one another. Danny was underneath George, legs spread as they kissed and thrust together. Elliot knelt behind George, fucking him with slow, deliberate thrusts that changed the rhythm the other two men had going.

Staggering backwards, Mac hit the wall and hissed in pain, seeing stars before he could force himself to walk unsteadily to his own room. Spotting the extra pills on the bedside table, Mac took them and swallowed them down without any water. He fell back in the bed, ignoring the splash of fire to his shoulder. His mind remained fixed on the incredible sight he’d witnessed and his heart ached as he understood that whatever chance he’d had with Danny before, was gone.

It looked like they would be returning to Brooklyn without Danny.

*  *  *  *

Breakfast was strained, at least on Mac’s part. Every time he looked at Danny, his mind flashed to how he’d been in the bedroom. The sight sent a combination of lust and need and betrayal through him. For Stabler and George, all Mac felt was a low, simmering anger in his gut that made him short with everyone. 

There’d been no promises given between him and Danny, but it still felt like a betrayal. He’d told Danny how he’d felt, or, started to do so at least. He distinctly remembered telling the younger man that he cared about him like he hadn’t about anyone since Claire, though the rest of what happened had been consumed in a fog of blood loss and the resulting fever.

As Elliot and Danny cleared the table, maybe on some prearranged signal, George said, “We want you to stay another day at least, to make sure you don’t reopen the stitches.”

Mac shook his head and stated flatly, “I’m goin home.”

George sighed, but didn’t look surprised. “I’m going to arrange for someone to drive all of you back, then.”

“Not a good idea,” Mac replied. “Then people know we have connections and think we’ve got finances, which makes my people targets. But thank you.”

The ‘thank you’ was an afterthought, but as sincere as Mac could be just then.

“I’m heading out,” Elliot announced as he and Danny returned. “Call me if you need anything. Otherwise, I’ll pick you guys up at six.”

George lifted his face and Elliot obliged by kissing him, a soft lingering one that had Mac gritting his teeth and thinking, Like they don’t already have each other? What do they need to go and swoop down on Danny for?

Elliot briefly gripped Danny’s shoulder on his way out of the apartment, but that was it, which surprised Mac somewhat.

At least they aren’t rubbing my face in it, he thought sourly.

George sounded a bit ironic as he observed, “Alone at last. Danny, have a seat.”

Danny bit his lip as he sat opposite Mac and said, “We don’t gotta do this now, do we George?”

“Mac’s leaving today, so yes,” George informed him.

Danny flashed Mac a hurt look and asked, “How come? You should stick around ‘til you’re better.”

It was a little harder to repeat himself with those big, blue eyes looking at him that way, but Mac said, “I want to go home, Danny.”

“And since he knows now that you’re fine, there’s no reason for him to stay. Is there, Danny?” George questioned, his tone somewhat pointed.

Mac frowned at the psychiatrist and warned, “Don’t try that head-shrinking stuff with us.”

George smiled briefly. “I won’t on you, Mac, don’t worry.”

“Doubt anything could get through that thick skull anyhow,” Danny muttered.

George cleared his throat, a suspiciously amused noise, as he stood and said, “I’m going to get ready for Court. I think the two of you should talk.”

Once he was gone, Mac looked at Danny and had no idea what to say.

“You really have to go?” Danny asked unexpectedly.

Mac nodded. His shoulder hurt, but there was no way he was going to stay under the same roof as the three of them again. He wanted to say something about that, but didn’t want to hurt Danny in the process and suspected that no matter what he said, that’s what would happen.

Even more unexpectedly, Danny blurted out, “I’ll go back with you.”

Surprised, Mac looked at him and asked, “Why?”

“What do you mean, why? It’s my home, too,” Danny answered defensively.

“I just meant…” Mac’s words trailed off as his mind raced.

This was a turning point. If he smoothed his words over with Danny, the young man would come back with him and things would progress between them. At least, he was pretty sure they would. But he’d never know if Danny wanted to come back, or if he’d returned because of a sense of guilt or obligation.

Then there was the fact that Danny was, clearly, very happy here. As much as it pained Mac to admit, the Danny that he’d seen come through the door the night before was a completely different man than the one opposite him. 

Last, but sure as hell not least, Danny was safe here. He was somewhere civilized and surrounded by cops. He had a chance at something a lot better than anything across the river. He could get schooling, proper schooling, and live somewhere that he didn’t have to slop waste twice a month. He had law and order, hospitals if he got sick, two lovers to watch over him, a roof over his head that didn’t leak and wasn’t falling down around him, no one shooting at him walking down the street or shoving knives at him from dark corners.

This was a much, much better life for Danny.

“What did you mean?”

Danny’s tense question pulled Mac from his thoughts. Forcing himself to his feet, Mac said flatly, “I meant that you’ve got a sweet ride here, so why screw it up? You sure as hell got Stabler wrapped around your little finger and Huang around your cock. At least from what I saw this morning. All this time I thought you were some shy, innocent kid and really, you were just looking for a better shot. Not that I blame you. That’s what everyone wants.”

Danny grew progressively paler and more drawn as Mac continued to talk.

“Come back if you want, but there’s no need. That girl you tried to rescue but couldn’t, Lindsey? She’s filling your spot without any trouble at all. And she’s certainly easy on the eyes, as Flack likes to say,” Mac continued. He finished turning the knife by adding thoughtfully, “She reminds me a lot of Claire, really. Anyhow. I’m going to go back to the spare room and get some rest until Stella and Don come back. You take care of yourself, Danny. Send a note once in a while so Stella knows how you’re doing. She worries.”

Mac flashed a smile at Danny before heading to the bedroom. His stomach was about ready to heave, but he quelled it ruthlessly.

George waited by the two bedroom doors, face unreadable as he commented softly, “Nice performance, Mac. Why’d you do it? Are you afraid to let him see how much you love him?”

Mac’s jaw clenched tight before he answered, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Huang. If you’ll excuse me, I need to rest.”

George shook his head, but stood aside.

When Mac closed the door behind him, he had just enough strength to stagger to the bed and fall upon it. His bandages wouldn’t let him roll onto his side or curl up, so he pulled one of the pillows over his face and did his best not to scream.

*  *  *  *

Danny sat at the table in a state of shock, unable to believe what Mac had just said. He hadn’t been mean, really, or even antagonistic, just…not Mac.

“Danny? Danny, come here baobei,” George ordered softly.

Turning a bit to face George, he looked up at the other man and asked, “What just happened? I don’t…that wasn’t Mac. He’s never…that wasn’t Mac!”

George wrapped his arms around Danny’s shoulders, holding him tight and kissing the top of his head before saying, “Mac’s scared, Danny. And I think he was trying to do what he considers best for you by keeping you here.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Danny mumbled against George’s midriff. “It don’t make no sense at all!”

George sighed above him and replied, “It does to him.”

Pulling back, starting to get angry at essentially being called a whore, Danny said, “He had no call saying those things about me! It ain’t like that between us three, not at all. He don’t know shit about what he saw this morning!”

“Mac can only apply his experiences to what he saw,” George pointed out. “Just like you can only apply yours to what you heard.”

Danny squinted suspiciously at his lover and demanded, “You know something, George. Spill it!”

George half-smiled and told him, “I only know that neither of you is ready for the other at this point.”

“That’s for damn sure, if he’s gonna be an asshole like that,” Danny snapped, standing.

“Danny…”

“What!?”

George sighed. “Nothing. Come on. Are you ready to go?”

Danny frowned and asked, “We’re just going to leave him here alone? Not that the bastard doesn’t deserve it, talking to me like that.”

“I’m sure Olivia’s already on her way here with Stella and Don,” George said.

He’d completely forgotten his other friends in his anger over Mac’s words. “Can’t I stick around and say goodbye to them?”

A knock at the door stopped whatever George had been going to say. Danny crossed to the door and opened it on Stella and Don. He found himself engulfed in a tight hug immediately and felt a little of his bad mood fade as he returned it. Smiling at Stella as she moved back, Danny greeted, “Good to see you too, Stel.”

Don held out a hand, which Danny took, and then yanked him into a hug, too. He ruffled Danny’s hair as he let go and said, “Got your shit, Messer? Time to go. Assuming Mac can walk.”

Danny’s temper rose at the mention of Mac, but he managed to stay calm as he answered, “I’m staying here, Don.”

“Why don’t you let them in, Danny,” George suggested.

Jumping a bit, Danny offered a rueful grin and stepped back, letting Stella and Don into the apartment. “Sorry about that.”

“Danny, what happened?” Stella asked immediately. “Why don’t you want to come home?”

Danny hesitated, then told her, “I still got some things I need to work through. I think I can do that here best, you know? And besides, you guys’re doing fine without me. There’s that new girl Lindsey. Mac said she was pulling her own weight real good.”

Stella’s frown increased as she countered, “Lindsey’s not you, Danny. We can’t just swap you out like used car parts. You’re family.”

Not according to Mac, Danny thought, but didn’t say.

Don spoke up with, “But if you still got shit to think about here, that’s what you do. Once you know what you want to do, you just let us know and we’ll come get you in a hot second.”

Relieved that Don was overriding the need for an explanation, Danny smiled and said, “Thanks, man.”

Stella sighed. “All right. I guess we’ll just collect our fearless leader and head out. Thank you, George, for all your help. Both with Mac and Danny.”

“I didn’t do anything,” George demurred.

She wagged a finger at him and countered, “You sure did! I don’t know what, but I’ve never seen Danny so happy as he was yesterday. Keep up the good work, okay?” and promptly pulled him into a hug.

Danny grinned outright at George’s uncomfortable expression.

Pulling back, George replied, “You’re welcome.”

By then, Mac was walking towards them down the short hall.

Danny stiffened, but didn’t say anything as the other man joined Stella and Don. 

“We’ve got a chachki waiting downstairs,” Stella informed him. “And you will ride in it, or I’m going to make sure you live to regret it.”

Mac gave in with surprising ease, which told Danny that he was still hurting. He merely nodded and said, “Thanks for putting me up last night, George. Good luck, Danny,” and headed for the door.

Both Stella and Don looked surprised at the short goodbye, but almost made up for it with more hugs for him and words about hurrying home.

Once the door closed behind them, though, Danny wondered if maybe he’d found a new home. When George held out his arms, Danny went wordlessly, aching deep inside.

***

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