Title: Let the Past Go
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Carl Hickman/Louis Daniel
Fandom: Crossing Lines
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 497
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Carl Hickman or Louis Daniel, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Louis' eyes snapped open, his breath catching in his throat.

He was staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, and Carl was sleeping peacefully beside him. He was no longer in the home he'd shared with Rebecca and Etienne; this wasn't the night that a bomb had exploded and his son had lost his life.

That dream came back to him so vividly, as though it had just happened yesterday. Would there ever be a time when the memory didn't haunt him?

Louis wanted to sit up, rub at his eyes, and get out of bed; he wanted to make himself a cup of coffee and settle down with paperwork. But he didn't dare let himself do that.

He didn't want to disturb Carl. His boyfriend needed his rest.

His boyfriend. The words brought a smile to his face; he hadn't thought he would ever be able to say them in reference to Carl.

But he could. Carl was his boyfriend now; they were not only dating, but living together. It had been a big step for both of them, but it had felt right at the time, and the fact that they were happy with each other only proved that it had been the right step for them.

Then why did his memories still haunt him? Why couldn't he simply let go of the past, and let himself fully embrace the future that he wanted so badly?

Because the past had been so much a part of his life, a part that he had built and worked on and treasured for so long, he told himself with a soft sigh.

He wouldn't be able to just walk away from those emotions. It might be a very long time before the memories that he had of those years ceased to hurt. But he had to believe that they would; he didn't want to think that those memories would always haunt him and make him sad.

And he didn't want to think that they would always keep him up at night, and disturb his rest during the time that he should be sleeping peacefully beside Carl.

Louis took a deep breath, closing his eyes again.

He wasn't going to let those memories keep getting to him, he told himself firmly. Yes, he would always treasure them, and the good times would always be there in his memory, to look back on fondly.

But he wouldn't let them hold him back from building a new life with Carl. He wouldn't let them interfere with his present happiness, or with his future.

Louis turned over onto his side, reaching out for Carl, placing his hand on his lover's chest and feeling the reassuring beat of his heart. Together, he and Carl would make memories to replace the ones that were doing their best to haunt him and disturb his sleep.

It was time to let the past go, he told himself. And he was going to do just that.

***