Title: Quicksilver
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,871
Author's Note: Continuation of Save Tonight.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
Los Angeles, 2008
Mick deposited Josef on the bed, leaning over the other man and gazing into his face. He had to be sure that Josef wanted this, and that he wasn't just letting Mick talk him into something that he wasn't ready for. If he saw the slightest sign of hesitation, he would turn back.
But there was nothing in Josef's eyes that led him to believe this wasn't wanted; he could see apprehension and even a little fear, but he knew that he could soothe those fears away. And he knew that Josef loved him and trusted him. There was no reason for them to stop.
"If you don't want this, Josef, just tell me so," he said softly, wanting to give the other man a chance to voice how he was feeling. "I love you, and I want you. I'm not going to do anything to hurt you. But if this isn't what you want, I don't want you to just give in."
Josef shook his head slowly, sighing softly, his gaze holding Mick's. "I want you to make love to me," he whispered, his voice a little shaky. "I'm scared. I'm not going to deny that. But I love you. And we've already waited too long. I want you to make me yours."
"I thought you were already mine," Mick reminded him in a soft voice, sitting down on the bed. It only took him a moment to kick off his shoes; Josef had already been barefoot, so that was one less thing he had to worry about removing from his boyfriend's body.
"I've been yours since the second I first saw you," Josef admitted, lying back against the pillows and watching Mick pull his shirt off and toss it aside. "But back then, I wasn't focused on having sex with you. I just .... wanted to be with you. I wasn't thinking about this."
"You don't have to think, Josef." Mick turned to Josef, leaning forward and placing his hands on either side of the other man's body. "You just have to feel. Let me love you, sweetheart. If I do anything you don't like, I'll stop. I promise."
"Mick, it's not you I'm afraid of." Josef's voice caught in his throat; he glanced away from Mick, obviously not wanting to look him in the eye while he spoke. "It's what this is going to feel like at first, and the memories that I know it's going to bring back."
"Only for a second," Mick whispered, brushing gentle fingertips across Josef's cheek. "It only hurts for a second. It's like quicksilver, and then the pleasure takes over. I want to make you forget that night, Josef. I want to show you that being loved by a man doesn't have to hurt."
Josef nodded, his breath hitching in his throat again as Mick began to work at the buttons on his shirt. It only took his nimble fingers a few seconds to have them undone, pushing Josef's shirt down his arms and off, throwing it to the floor before he moved his hands lower.
Josef raised his hips to let Mick slide his pants off; Mick could feel the other man's body trembling, his fear manifesting itself in a physical reaction. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around Josef, pulling the other man close and whispering in his ear.
"Don't be afraid of me, Josef. And don't be afraid of what we're going to do. I love you. I want you. I've been waiting for you all my life -- and I'm not going to do anything that would turn you away from me," Mick whispered, his throat feelight tight and constricted.
He loved this man more than he'd thought it was possible to love anyone. The obsession that he'd felt for Coraline before he knew what she was hadn't come close to what he felt for the beautiful man in his arms. Josef was his one and only, the true love he'd always longed to find.
"I know what we're going to do, Mick," Josef said as Mick laid him back against the pillows. "Insert Tab A into Slot B, and all that. I know where your cock goes, believe me." His vioce trailed off as Mick stood up and began unbuckling his belt, pushing his jeans down his narrow hips.
Mick let his jeans fall to the floor, stepping out of them and kicking them aside. Moving to the bed again, he laid down on his side, slipping one arm around Josef's waist, his other hand resting on the slighter man's hip, gazing down at the slender body revealed to his gaze.
Josef swallowed hard, his voice sounding shaky again when he finally spoke. "I know where it goes -- but your tab looks way too big to fit into my slot." Mick had never heard him sound so dubious, in the more than fifty years that they'd known each other.
"Shhh, babe," Mick whispered, stroking his knuckles down Josef's cheek. "It's not too big. It might seem like that at first, but I promise it'll fit. I'll make sure you're opened enough for it not to hurt." He hoped that he was reassuring Josef, helping to tamp down his fears.
He'd thought to take the tube of lubricant from his jeans pocket before he'd kicked them off; it only took him a moment to pop the cap on the tube and squeeze a generous amount of it onto two fingers. Josef was watching him, his dark eyes wide with trepidation.
Mick leaned down to press a gentle kiss to the tender hollow at the base of Josef's throat, moving his lips up to the other man's mouth but pausing for a moment before kissing him, his mouth hovering just over those tantalizingly parted lips. "Spread your legs for me, sweetheart."
Josef hesitated for a moment before complying; Mick slipped his hand between the other man's thighs, drawing in his own breath as he did so. He had to go slowly and carefully, and not make Josef feel that he was rushing into this in any way.
He gently pressed one fingertip against Josef's entrance, pushing gently. The other man hissed out a breath, his long fingers curling around the sheets. Mick glanced at his lover's face, to see that Josef's eyes were closed, his features set, lips compressed.
"Relax, babe," he said softly, bowing his head to press a line of gentle kisses along Josef's jaw. "Open your eyes, sweetheart. Look at me. This isn't that night. I'm not them. I'm Mick. I'm the person you love. The one you want to be with."
Josef did as he was told, opening his eyes and staring up at Mick. Slowly, he nodded, releasing his grip on the sheets and winding his arms around Mick's neck, pulling him down for a kiss that took the other man's breath away and left him gasping.
Mick bowed his head to kiss Josef again, capturing the other man's lips with his own just as he pushed one finger inside that tight heat, almost gasping as he did so. He hadn't expected Josef to be so tight -- or so resistant.
"Shhh, babe, it's okay," he whispered, aware that Josef had whimpered softly against his mouth as he was penetrated. "Just relax, sweetheart." He didn't push in any further, wanting Josef to get used to the feeling of being entered before he was penetrated more deeply.
Josef nodded, swallowing hard and closing his eyes. Mick slowly, carefully pushed in further, feeling those taut muscles slowly relax around his finger. After a few moments, he knew that it was time to push the second one in, hoping that it wouldn't hurt for more than a moment.
Josef's hips arched upwards as the second finger pushed inside him, a soft cry coming form his throat, but he didn't tell Mick to stop. Mick watched him anxiously, watching for any sign that Josef needed or wanted him to stop. But there was none.
He pushed his fingers further in, probing gently, then scissoring them slowly. He wanted to open Josef gently, to give his lover as much pleasure as he possibly could before the quicksilver pain of being taken, to relax him and leave him wanting more.
There was a slight sheen of sweat on Josef's body, his chest rising and falling with his rapid breaths, his lips parted, his cheeks flushed. Mick couldn't take his eyes off that captivating face; he wanted to remember how Josef looked at this moment for the rest of his life.
He'd never seen anyone so beautiful -- or so desirable -- in all of his life. He'd never even known that anyone could be so incredibly beautiful -- or that he could feel such desire. He wanted to lose himself in this man, to meld not only their bodies but their hearts and souls.
Mick continued to press his fingers more deeply inside Josef, twisting them slightly, scissoring them as he pushed them forward. He could feel Josef's body relaxing, opening, and he knew that it wouldn't be much longer before he would be able to move to the next plateau.
He wasn't going to keep Josef waiting much longer. He could tell that his boyfriend's desire was building; Josef was pushing his hips against Mick's hand, moaning softly with each movement of those fingers pushing more deeply into his body.
Slowly, carefully, Mick removed his fingers, gently pushing Josef's knees up to his chest and positioning himself between his lover's spread thighs. He looked down at the other man, raising a hand to gently stroke soft fingertips through Josef's hair.
Should he press forward into Josef slowly, let the other man feel every inch of him as he was entered? Or would it be better to take Josef in one smooth, quick thrust, to let the momentary pain be over with as quickly as possible before he could even feel it?
Quicker was probably better, Mick decided, hoping that he was right. There was all the time in the world for him to take his time entering Josef slowly; this was about moving past the pain and giving Josef pleasure. It was about Josef, not about himself.
"Are you ready for this, sweetheart?" he asked softly, his voice shaking slightly. It was up to him to make this the most pleasurable experience Josef could possibly have; it was a huge responsibility, to take this man as gently as he could, to turn his bad memories into good ones.
Josef nodded, his dark eyes so wide that all Mick could see was the dilated pupils. He swallowed hard, closing his eyes and leaning down to brush a gentle kiss across his lover's lips as he pushed his hips forward, praying that any pain Josef felt would dissipate like quicksilver.***