Title: Unintended
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,673
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
"Did you think when we first met that we'd end up like this?" Mick asked as he sat down on the sandy beach behind Josef. "I sure as hell didn't. I figured we might not ever speak to each other again after the first time Coraline introduced us."
"I knew that I'd see you again," Josef said, leaning back against Mick's chest and sighing softly as the other man's arms slid around his waist. "I figured she would make sure of that. I was pretty sure that she could tell I was interested in you from the start."
"So you thought she was dangling me in front of you like a carrot, huh?" Mick said with a wry laugh, shaking his head. "You know, I wouldn't be surprised if that was true. She was always good at flaunting what she had. And at the time, she did have me."
"She never deserved you," Josef said softly, turning his head slightly to look up at Mick. "I always wanted something to happen between you that would make you see what she was really like. But it never did -- until your wedding night. By then, it was too late."
Mick nodded thoughtfully, tightening his arms around Josef's slim waist. "I know a part of me wanted to be with you then -- but at the time, I'd never have admitted it, to myself or to anybody else," he said softly. "I wish I'd have been braver then."
"It was the Fifties, Mick." Josef's voice was soft, even a little regretful. "Men didn't admit that they were attracted to other men back then -- not openly, anyway. You'd never have done it, even if I had. And I didn't want to force you into that kind of decision."
"You weren't sure about me yourself back then, were you?" Mick asked, curious as to what Josef had been thinking about the two of them all those years ago. "I mean, you didn't know if I'd be attracted to you. And I'm betting you weren't comfortable with your own feelings."
"I wasn't," Josef admitted with a wry laugh. "A part of me wanted you, but I kept remembering what that last night as a human was like, and I knew I didn't want to go through anything like that again. So I kept my mouth shut and tried to ignore my feelings."
"If you hadn't, there's no telling what might have happened," Mick said quietly, resting his cheek against Josef's hair. ""Coraline was such a jealous bitch I'm willing to bet she would have tried to kill you. Or tried to kill me. The whole 'if I can't have him, no one can' thing."
Josef laughed ruefully, the sound ringing out in the still night air. "Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if she'd tried something like that. But I felt like it was a done deal, you marrying her. I always had that little spark of hope that you'd kick her to the curb, though."
"And I did!" Mick said with a laugh. "In a pretty dramatic way -- but the circumstances called for it." He sobered, remembering the night that he'd left his former wife in that burning building with no way out. It had been the best thing he'd ever done, though he'd been torn about it at the time.
"Then you had that blonde .... thing." Mick could feel the shudder that went through Josef's body, hear the distaste in his voice. "I can't tell you how disgusted I was when you got together with her. I always felt like she only wanted to use you. And I was right."
"You sure were." Mick didn't want to talk about her; he didn't want to think about the past. Not now, not tonight, when they were here on the beach, under the stars and a silent moon, the wind blowing through their hair, feeling free and unencumbered.
"Falling in love with you was unintended, you know," Josef said softly, his breath warm against Mick's cheek when he tilted his head back. "I didn't mean to. I meant to just be your friend. Really. I didn't think you could possibly feel the same way about me."
"So you were just going to spend eternity being my friend, and being in love with me without letting me know?" Mick asked, raising his brows in question. "I can't see you doing that, Josef. You'd never have been able to keep from telling me."
"Don't be so sure of that." Josef's voice had gone a little flat, but his tone was still soft, his words a little hesitant, as though he was searching for what to say. "I'd had my heart broken before. I didn't want it to happen again. I might not have told you. Ever."
"Do you really think you'd never have told me?" Mick said softly, curious as to what his boyfriend's answer would be. "I can't imagine that. You're not the kind of person to hold back your feelings, Josef. Especially when you want something. And I'm guessing you wanted me."
"More than you could ever know," Josef told him, his voice strong and firm. "But I wasn't so sure that you wanted me. And believe it or not, Mick, I can be vulnerable in some ways. Few and far between, but there it is. I was afraid of getting hurt."
"I'd never hurt you," Mick murmured, bowing his head to brush his lips across Josef's cheek. "Not then, and not now. Not ever. If anybody tried to hurt you, I'd kick their asses. You know that, Josef. And we were close even before we were lovers. You should have known it then, too."
"I did, in a way," Josef admitted. "But I was still scared. I'd never seen you with a guy, remember -- and I didn't know you'd had some experience in that department. I didn't know how you'd feel about hearing a man say that he was in love with you."
"If it had been any other man, I'd probably have freaked out," Mick admitted, shaking his head. "But you? I wanted you as much as you wanted me. I just wasn't ready to admit it for a long time. Falling in love with you was unintended on my part, too. But I couldn't have stopped myself."
"It's like we were fated to be from the very beginning, isn't it?" Josef said with a sigh, settling back into Mick's embrace and letting himself relax. "You know, I think that what I used to say about being with Sarah is true -- but not because of her."
"What was that?" Mick asked, almost holding his breath as he waited for the answer. There was always a part of him that wanted to hear Josef say the words that he thought he was going to hear, but he'd never thought that they would actually be out in the open.
"I used to tell myself that the reason I'd lived so long was so I could meet her and fall in love," Josef told him, his voice so hushed that all either of them could hear for long moments was the waves beating on the sand. "But I was wrong about that, Mick."
"So why have you lived so long?" Mick whispered, silently urging Josef to finish what he was going to say. His heart was thumping in his chest, beating so rapidly that he was sure Josef could feel it against his back. "Not to be a hedge fund trader, I'm betting."
"I've lived so long so that I could meet you -- and endure the pain of seeing you with other people just so I'd know without a doubt that you're the one," Josef said, his voice breaking. "I've lived so long so I could be with you, Mick. Unintended or not, it's always been you."
"It's always been you for me, too," Mick told him, placing a hand against his lover's chest to feel his heart beating. "Even when I begged you to turn me back because of her, I knew she wasn't the reason I wanted it. I wanted you to turn me so I could be with you."
"Would you ever have admitted that if things hadn't turned out the way they did?" Josef asked him, turning his head again so that their gazes met. "If I hadn't come to you first and told you how I felt, would you have kept that all bottled up inside forever?"
Mick didn't hesitate for a moment; he knew exactly how he felt, and he wasn't going to hide it. He shook his head firmly, decisively, his voice just as firm when he spoke. "No, I wouldn't have kept it bottled up. I couldn't. I'd have told you if you hadn't beaten me to it."
"Even though all this was unintended, I think it was inevitable," Josef said, sinking back against Mick's chest again with a contented sigh. "We're each other's destiny, don't you think? I mean, come on -- we couldn't be more perfect for each other."
"We might not always see eye to eye, but there's nobody else I'd ever want to spend eternity with," Mick said softly, smiling as he looked up at the moon shining brightly above them; it almost seemed to be shining just for them, casting a glow over the waves.
"Eternity sounds good to me," Josef told him, closing his eyes and relaxing in Mick's arms. As the two of them sat there and watched the waves lapping against the warm sand, they both knew that even if their being together had been unintended at first, they were both exactly where they wanted to be.***