Title: When I'm With You
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Josef Kostan/Mick St. John
Fandom: Moonlight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,426
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Josef Kostan or Mick St. John, unfortunately. Please do not sue.***
Mick stirred and opened his eyes, a feeling of disorientation sweeping over him. Where was he? It wasn't often that he slept in a bed, and rarely ever at night. He usually did most of his sleeping near dawn, or during the daylight hours when he didn't have a case.
The night before came back to him. Of course he was in a bed. He was at Josef's apartment, the new one that he'd moved into only a couple of days after the building he'd lived in had been bombed in an attempt on his life. He was spending his first night here.
That was why the place felt strange; he hadn't had time to get used to it yet. Josef didn't seem to have that problem, he thought, turning over to gaze down at the handsome man asleep beside him. But then, he was used to moving around a lot.
In four hundred years, he must have had dozens of places he'd called home. He couldn't stay in one place too long, of course; people would notice that he didn't age. But still, it seemed sad that he could never settle down in one place for a long time.
But then, what constituted a "long time"? For a vampire, fifty years could go by in the blink of an eye; he'd learned that the hard way. Sometimes his life as a human seemed like it had been eons ago, and then there were times when it seemed as though it had ended yesterday.
Mick pushed away thoughts of the brief time he'd been human recently. It hadn't brought him the joy that he'd thought it would; he had wanted the wrong things. He'd been so wrong to want to turn back the clock and take up an existence that he'd left behind.
He'd never been so grateful to anyone as he'd been to Josef for turning him again. He'd thought that he didn't want it when he'd asked, even though he'd pleaded with Josef to do the deed. It had been against all that he'd thought he wanted and could never have.
He knew better now. Josef was always what he'd wanted, even when he'd tried to fool himself that he was in love with a human woman. That hadn't been love; it had been his own unhealthy obsession with an event and a time in his life that was long past.
How could he ever have thought that he wanted anyone other than this man? He'd spent so long trying to deny his feelings for Josef, to push away what he'd thought he could never have. But he should have known from their first meeting that he felt more than friendship.
The first time he'd seen Josef, there had been a stirring in his heart that he didn't want to admit was there. And of course, at the time, he'd had that fatal passion for Coraline -- something that he knew would end badly even as he immersed himself in it.
He couldn't put a name to what had drawn him to Josef. He had no idea why his heart had led him to this man. But he'd long accepted the fact that it had; it was useless to struggle against what had obviously been intended to be his destiny.
Mick sighed as he reached out to smooth a few errant strands of hair back from Josef's face. Why did he always have these thoughts in the dead of night? Why couldn't he just accept that his passion for Josef was meant to be, and leave it at that?
Josef stirred as Mick touched his face, opening his eyes to look up at his lover. "Something wrong?" he asked, his voice slightly slurred from sleep. "You usually sleep a lot more deeply than I do. Unless you've worn me out with sex beforehand."
Mick laughed softly, leaning down to brush his lips across the softness of Josef's mouth. "You're such a liar. You always sleep more deeply than me. I'm used to dealing with things that go bump in the night from my job. You're used to being in the lap of luxury."
Even as Mick said the words, he knew that they weren't true. Josef hadn't led an easy life before he'd been turned, and in those first years after he'd become a vampire, he'd had to claw his way to where he was now. He'd always had to watch his back.
He might not know much about those years, but he knew that it was unfair of him to talk as though Josef had always lived the sort of life he did now. He wanted to take the words back, but he couldn't; they'd already been said. He just hoped that Josef would realize he was joking.
The other vampire shook his head, looking up at Mick with a serious expression on his face. "You're wrong about that. I can sleep deeply, but only if I know that I'm protected. With you, I always feel that way. So I can relax when I'm with you."
"So, when I'm not with you, then you don't sleep as well?" Mick asked, surprised. "What about all the time before we got together? I doubt you had problems sleeping then." His skepticism showed in his tone, as well as in his face.
"I did," Josef said quietly, looking away from Mick. "You know how some people say they're so wary of the night that they sleep with one eye open? I did that for a long time. I could never sleep peacefully because I was always on the lookout for enemies."
"Well, you don't have to worry about them now," Mick told him, leaning down to kiss Josef again. "I'll be here every night, if you want me to be. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Josef. No way am I going to lose you."
Josef reached out to take his hand, twining their fingers together. "No, you're not going to lose me," he whispered, squeezing Mick's hand. "You don't have to worry about that. We'll be together for the rest of our lives, Mick. Don't doubt it."
His lover's eyelids were drooping; Josef was obviously tired. Mick smiled, pulling the covers up around Josef's bare shoulders. "Go back to sleep," he murmured, brushing a kiss across the other man's forehead. "I'll be here when you wake up."
Still smiling, Josef closed his eyes; moments later, his grip on Mick's hand slackened, letting him know that his lover had fallen asleep again. Mick simply lay there, propped up on one elbow, watching the man he loved as he slept.
The small hours of the night had never seemed this companionable, this .... comforting. It was strange how just the presence of the person he loved could make him feel that the night was a blanket that he wanted to wrap the two of them in and snuggle under.
This had always been the time when he'd spent walking the city, searching his soul, wishing fervently for some cure that could change what he was. The dead of night had always been his time for regrets, for looking into a past he couldn't change and a future that felt bleak.
But no more. Now, he wouldn't change what he was, no matter what might lay ahead for him. He was no longer alone, looking into a future that stretched for centuries ahead with no one to love, no one to be by his side when he most needed them.
Maybe this would always be the time when he'd do his soul searching, Mick thought, smiling as he trailed a gentle fingertip down the center of Josef's bare chest. But he wouldn't be doing it alone any more. He would have someone else to think of as well as himself.
He was getting tired; it was time to follow Josef's example and get some sleep. Pulling the covers up over his shoulders, Mick settled down on the pillow, sliding his arms around his boyfriend and closing his eyes as he waited for slumber to claim him.***
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