Title: Anoraknophobia
Author: martyred-wings
Rating: NC-17
Genre and/or Pairing: slash, Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: none
Warnings: Implied sexual situations, crack!fic
Word Count: 638 words
Summary: Scared Dean is scared of Castiel. Castiel is confused and desperate. Sam sorts out the confusion.

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Castiel knew that the apocalypse was truly upon them when Dean would scream and run away whenever the angel came near him. It made cuddling and kissing his boyfriend very difficult, when he had to catch the guy first. Even then, the incessant screaming and thrashing around was very conducive to what Castiel was hoping to achieve.

In the end, he turned to Sam for help. At first, Sam was very doubtful, so doubtful he actually laughed.

"You want help with kissing my brother?" Sam asked, eyes raking Castiel's face with the most doubtful laugh he'd given in five seconds.

"Yes, every time I go near him, Dean screams and tries to run from me. He's never done it before. It's getting to the point where I think he doesn't love me any more," Castiel replied, looking so dejected, even his ears drooped adorably.

Sam's heart went out to Castiel, who gave it back, needing only Dean's heart after all.

"Alright, Cas, let's see if I can help you kiss my brother," Sam said, with a dramatic roll of his eyes and a wriggle of his eyebrows that looked quite spooky really.

But Sam's help was to no avail. Whenever Castiel went near Dean, Sam in tow to hold Dean down, the older hunter would scream, just as Castiel had said, and would run, also just as Castiel had said. Sam was confused, confuzzled and confuddled beyond all words, so he made some up in private in the shower the following day.

Castiel, meanwhile was on the verge of tears, wanting a kiss, a cuddle and a bit of the other from Dean. He was desperate.

He removed his coat, draped it over the back of Sam's head, and slumped on the couch, looking sad. Dean came running back in, to lay provocatively in Castiel's lap, showering the angel with wet sloppy kisses, hands pawing wildly at the angel's body. Sam took Castiel's coat from the back of his head, and draped it next to the madly kissing couple; at which point, Dean screamed and ran away again.

"I'm getting tired of this," Castiel groused, with a scowl and a humungous pout of doom. "All I want is a quick - "

"Too much information already," Sam said, quickly, looking uncomfortable, eyes resting on Castiel's trench coat.

He picked it up on a whim, hid it in the oven, and watched as Dean ran back in again, smiling happily to shower Castiel with merry kisses once more. Sam removed the coat from the oven, now pleasantly warm and smelling of cinnamon, watched as Dean promptly left the room again.

"Oh great," Sam said, as he hid the coat in the bathroom. "Dean's got anoraknophobia."

Dean promptly came running in again, as though on cue, and proceeded to kiss Castiel quite passionately.

"What?" Castiel asked Sam, in distraction, as his lips were somewhat busy attached to Dean's mouth.

"It's kinda like arachnophobia, but it's a fear of trench coats," Sam supplied, as he flushed the coat down the toilet.

Castiel didn't reply because Dean was too busy giving him a French kiss to respond properly. Sam slumped on the bed, turned on the T.V and started watching Sesame Street for ideas on how to defeat Lucifer. He eventually left the room when the sounds of moaning and groaning from the next bed got too much to bear, and he kept missing the punch lines.

He smiled as he left, amused that all it took was flushing Castiel's coat down the toilet to give both Dean and the angel a night of passion beneath the sheets.

"Anoraknophobia, indeed," Sam muttered to himself as he hijacked the TV set in the motel a hundred miles away in the next street over to continue with researching his plan to defeat Lucifer ....

-fini-

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