Title: On the Inside
By: Ivy
Pairing(s): none really but there is some implied Dean/Sam (if you squint)
Rating: G
Warning(s): none really
Summary: Sam sees something in the evening light.
Author's Notes: another little off the head ficlet.

***

Red and Purple splatters across Dean's chest in a beautifully painful pattern.

Dean tried to hide from Sam but Sam knew it was there. He had said it himself, well sort of. It would hurt like hell. Sam knew it was there, the presence of the bruise bigger than any fight the two of them have ever had.

Dean tucked himself quietly and tensely into bed, pulling the sheets over his naked upper half to hide the bruises from Sam. Determined to hide the evidence of Sam's anger underneath the red sheets. Even in his sleep, Dean was determined to hide. He didn't move a muscle to cause the sheet to slip any deeper to reveal anything beyond his shoulders.

Sam was tired of saying sorry. He had tried during the ride home but Dean wouldn't have any of it and it only made Sam more frustrated. Sorry didn't sound right anymore on his lips, it seemed to have lost its meaning and it also seemed incomplete. Sorry just didn't convey the feelings that Sam wanted to express to his brother at this very minute. Sitting on his bed, bedroom light so low and casting a yellowish glow over everything in the vicinity, Sam attempted to find the right words.

Dean was on his back, the bruise too much for his brother to enjoy his usual position on his stomach. But his hand was still underneath the pillow, still ready at any moment for anything that threatened to come through those doors.

Sam looked at the door, wondering what awaited them behind those doors. Darkness, cold, uncertainty and lonliness. But Sam wasn't lonely, he had Dean, they had each other. That would make things okay, it would make them okay. As long as they had each other, they could get through anything together. Even this certain situation. They would be able to get through it together.

That was when Sam realized why he couldn't find the right words to apologize to Dean. Because Sam had left his brother to alone to fend what was behind that door. Sam left Dean for Jess, for college, for a try at a normal life. And in the process Sam abandoned Dean to face everything by himself. Every monster, every job, every obstacle, every injury. Dean didn't have anyone to be together with. Because Sam walked away. And now Sam almost killed his own brother.

Sam realized Dean wasn't hurting most from the bruises on his chest and all over his body.

Sam couldn't find the right words to apologize because he didn't know what hurt Dean the most on the inside.

***