Title: Falling Into Place
Author: vaderina
Rating: R
Genre and/or pairing: Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Word Count:1196
Summary: Castiel falls into place.


"Cas?" I hear him whisper. I just nuzzle closer, burying my face against his chest with a querying hum.

"Thank you." Dean whispers again, kissing the top of my head. I smile and move closer still, wrapping my arms firmly around him. For the first time in my existence I feel truly happy. And funnily enough, I feel complete in a way I never had before. Despite losing what I thought had been my essence, I close my eyes with a content sigh and think back over what had happened.

I had doubts for a while, but what transpired in the greenroom had been the final push I needed. After I sent Dean to Sam, I confronted the archangels. They were going to kill me, which until recently I would have done in their place too. Disobedience was, after all, a crime carrying the death sentence. However, I used Chuck. I used him as a shield. I couldn't be killed in a way that avoided killing Chuck too, and so, I could make a deal with the archangels. It didn't go quite as I wanted it – Chuck was not a big enough bartering value, but I got 2 days. 2 days to run and hide. It was nothing to them; each angel's Grace is unique to them and could be traced to wherever and whenever. But they humoured me, 2 more days until my death was really nothing to worry about. But they didn't expect me to do what I did.

As soon as the deal was sealed, I shoved Chuck towards them and flew. Flew for Dean and Sam, to pull them to safety. Lucifer was just waking, I could still steal the brothers from him. We ended up in a rundown motel as far from Lucifer as Dean could drive on what little energy he had left. I sat in the back seat, pondering on what to do next.

At the motel, I made sure they both got much needed and undisturbed rest. At that point, I needed no rest so I stood guard over them, ready to fly with them at a moment's notice.

However, the angels kept their end of the deal and we were not disturbed. When the boys woke, though rested, they were both frail and in unstable frame of mind. Dean begged me to help Sam. He was withdrawn, in shock and unresponsive. And for the first time, I could do what I wanted. What I always wanted. I did as Dean asked.

I could feel my Grace unravelling as I lay a hand on Sam's forehead and propelled part of me into him, cleansing him. Though it hurt, it felt right, I should have done this a long time ago. Sam slumped on the bed as my Grace burned out the demon in him. The pain of losing a part of my Grace was compensated by the look in Dean's eyes. His eyes sparkled with hope and a faint glimmer of trust. Of course he wasn't aware of just how I managed such a feat and he didn't need to know it. Not yet. With Sam healing, I turned my attention to him.

"Is there anything I could do for you?"

He looked at me wide eyed, swallowed visibly and shook his head, cheeks colouring.

"You came and rescued us, healed Sammy. I can ask for nothing more."

I cocked my head, knowing there was something he was not saying. I carried on staring at him until he relented.

"OK," he flapped his hands helplessly, "there is just one thing. Before you got dragged back to bible camp, there was something you wanted to tell me. What was it?" His cheeks flush a deeper shade of red, with a look I'm not sure I fully understand fleeting across his face. I smile at the memory. But, in the light of things that have passed since, I'm not sure he really wants to know now.

"I just wanted to tell you that you'd changed me for the better." His head snaps up to look at me, surprised. "To tell you that angels can feel, should they choose to. They feel anger, confusion and most of all love. I have felt all of those and it is all down to you. I came to tell you that, and to thank you for it."

Dean is speechless, looking at me like it's the first time he has seen me. His face suddenly crumples, his shoulders sag and he looks the picture of defeat and remorse.

"Oh. Anna." He says. "I'm so sorry. I didn't realise she meant so much to you."

I frown, my turn to be confused. Then realisation hit, he'd misunderstood me. Was he really this incapable of believing that someone could love him? I shake my head.

"Anna means nothing to me. I wasn't talking about her. I was talking about you." He takes a shocked step back, not really believing what he hears.

"I love you." Dean tries to speak, but words fail him

"Really?" is all he manages after a few attempts.

"I will love you in whatever way you choose to take it. Be it as a friend, a brother or lover." He shakes his head in disbelief. Then he is in my arms, face buried in the crook of my neck as he clings to me in a ferocious hug. I let him be, cautiously lifting a hand to his back not sure what to make of the whole thing until he lifts his face to mine.

"Really?" he asks again, resting his forehead against mine. My response is lost as his lips find mine in a slow, soft kiss. I allow a little more of my Grace to escape and it too gets lost in our kiss. Slowly, we make our way to the bed, both losing clothes in the process and I losing more of my Grace. I lie on top of him, kissing him and willing more of my Grace out of me and into Dean and our actions. With every movement I lose a little bit of me and become that little bit more human. As I move in him, each move brings both pleasure and pain as more of me seeps into him. But the pain is welcome, it feels right. I feel the last of my Grace slip out into him with a cry of his name as I release deep into him.

I always thought I'd feel empty like a shell without my Grace. I could never have been more wrong. I feel more whole than ever and happier than ever too. My Grace is lost, burnt in Sam and in Dean and our joining. I did what no angel should and gave in to my doubt, my feelings and lust. I fell for love and for Dean, who, when I open my eyes again is drifting off to sleep. A faint glow like a halo surrounds him as the last of my Grace burns away his inner demons. I now know why angels call it falling because yes, I have fallen, fallen into place by Dean's side. I have fallen in love.