Title: Merry Christmas, Dean
By: Hachimitsu
Pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating: R
Warnings: Incest, Underage Sex
Summary: With Christmas coming up and 14-year-old Sam noticing his big brother breaking his back trying to provide a holiday, Sam thinks he knows just what it is he can give Dean in return.***
December 21, 1997
Hazel eyes, behind the motel room window, watched the Ohio snow fall down. Sam Winchester was bored out of his mind. Another Christmas was on the fast approach, and as usual, Dean was out pretending to barhop with his fake I.D., but Sam knew he was really out Christmas shopping. Totally typical of Dean; another holiday and of course, Dad couldn't be bothered to celebrate it with them. So Dean was taking it upon himself to provide the holiday. That was just fine with Sam. He had a little surprise of his own in store for Dean.
As far back as Sam could remember, the name 'Dean' was synonymous with the word 'love'. Everything he knew about life and all its workings he learned from his brother. Sure, now that he was fourteen and expected to complain about everything, he did it because everyone said he was supposed to. In truth, he loved going out on hunts because it meant he could watch Dean shine in his element. In Sam's eyes, Dean was like a young Greek god when he was at battle with the supernatural forces. He never worried that Dean was going to hurt himself, and at the end of every hunt, he loved how Dean would rush over to wherever it was John had made him hide, pick him up off his feet and hold him close. Sam especially loved breathing in the scents of that weathered leather jacket, Cool Water cologne, generic aftershave and hair gel, all things that said 'Dean Winchester'. Everything about Dean made Sam feel safe and content, especially considering the life they were exposed to.
Sam loved being stuck with doing research because it made him feel helpful towards Dean. Even though Dean teased him mercilessly at times for being a bookworm, Sam loved it. His fighting back was only half-hearted, because he knew Dean didn't mean the small things he said. Just as every time they geared up for a hunt and Dean had put Sam through a teasing regime, he always managed to slip Sam a chocolate and muss up his unruly hair, giving Sam that patented Dean Winchester smile that always got whoever to give Dean whatever it was he wanted. That smile made all his big brother's teasing worth it.
To Sam, Dean was more the parent that John Winchester was. It didn't mean that Sam hated his father, just that John was always gone and Dean was already around when Sam needed or wanted him. The older the younger Winchester got, the more his feelings for Dean developed. At first, Sam thought all little brothers felt that way for their big brothers, but then the dreams started. Dreams that would have made excellent pornos if they had been filmed, and he should know since he would sometimes watch John's porn videos or sneak peeks at the dirty magazines Dean hid under their mattress and thought Sam didn't know about. He and Dean had seen each other naked countless times before, and the visual knowledge only helped to make Sam's dreams that much more enjoyable. If they didn't have a hunt to go on at night, Sam was desperate to fall asleep in his and Dean's shared bed. On those nights, Sam would usually sprawl out against his brother and dream about being flat on his back with Dean working in the next element Sam knew the older Winchester was a master of.
But then last week, Sam had come back to the motel room a little earlier than planned and heard a funny noise coming out of the bathroom. At first he thought someone has broken in but when he walked up to the door and noticed it was open a crack, the sight he saw and things he heard pooled the arousal his adolescent body was producing and splashed it around in his belly. There Dean was, bent over the toilet at the knees with his beautifully impressive pride in his hand, said hand working his tool up and down. Sam could have sworn it was even bigger than the last time he saw it. It was the moans and groans Sam's ears were tantalized with, but when Dean started muttering 'Sammy' under his breath, just low enough for Sam to hear, Sam thought he was dying and going to Heaven.
Everything he felt and wished Dean felt too had been confirmed. Just like that. Dean was never one to be open and honest with his emotions, but now Sam knew that his brother, his love, thought of him when pleasuring himself. The next day, telling Dean he was going to the local arcade (which surprised both Winchesters that this backwater Ohio town actually had), Sam made his way to the local drugstore instead. From all the sex talks he'd had with Dean, the elder Winchester always stressed the importance of condoms. Sam knew Dean kept a ready supply in his toiletries bag at the bottom of his duffel, but Sam wanted to show Dean that he was trying to be as responsible about sex as Dean was.
Browsing the selection of condoms in the family planning aisle had to be one of the most awkward experiences in all his young fourteen years. Sam hadn't anticipated the different types of condoms that were available. So much for thinking he was just going to walk in, grab a box, ignore the look from the check-out girl Sam recognized from Dean's government class, and walk out the door. He stood in front of the condoms for more than an hour, trying to decide which ones he wanted Dean to wear when he offered up his virginity to him. Plain ones were out of the question. Those were for people who had already had their first times and engaged in casual sex, something Sam was also hoping he was going to get to experience after his first time with Dean. Sam believed that his first time deserved a little something special, considering the man he chose to give it up to was the man his heart and soul loved.
It took him another hour before he decided on a box of colored flavored condoms, ignored the predicated looks from the cashier girl as he paid for them and walked out of the store. Even though he didn't have as much dignity outside the store as he had before he made his purchase, Sam felt a little more grown up as he walked down the snow-covered sidewalk with the small paper bag tucked safely in his jacket pocket.
The snow was falling a little heavier as Sam snapped out of his stupor. Even though Dean wasn't driving the Impala around, Sam was just a little concerned because Dean hadn't come back. It was almost seven and even though he was more than capable of feeding himself, he loved Dean's cooking more than his own. There was nothing special on TV and all Sam wanted was Dean to come back so they could cuddle in bed to beat the cold that wafted through the thin walls. Only Dad could pick a motel where the heater didn't work.
Keys sliding into a lock and a doorknob turning made Sam quickly wipe off the excited smile that had bloomed on his gently freckled face and drab up as Dean walked into the room. Sam's heart leapt at the sight of Dean's handsome face and the strong, leather-clad arms that were laden with shopping bags.
"Hey, Sammy," Dean grinned as he kicked the door closed and moved to the little table to set down the bags.
Sam grimaced behind Dean's back at the name, but if he was going to show Dean he wanted to be treated like an adult, he was not going to start a petty fight over Dean's stupid nickname for him. Instead, he offered out a quiet, "Hey, Dean."
Sam's stomach gave a little rumble. Sam didn't think it was loud enough to be heard, but Dean's head whipped around and the concerned look in his jade eyes melted Sam's heart and suppressed his appetite. Dean pulled Sam close and the brunette's head nestled against Dean's rock-hard abs. Sam smiled to himself while Dean hugged him.
"You hungry, Sammy?"
Sam's mind salivated at the question; Dean oblivious for the moment about what Sam was really hungry for, so Sam simply muttered, "Yeah, a little."
Sam felt Dean's lips press into his hair as Dean let go of Sam and moved into the little kitchenette their room came with. Sam planted himself in one of the table's chairs and watched his brother at work. Thinking along food analogies, since Sam's one and only love was cooking, if he had to use food to describe Dean, he'd pick an onion. Onions had layers and layers you needed to peel before it was ready to be used. Dean was like that: layered. He could kill anything evil that moved, was a sheet-ripping good time in the sack (according to overheard gossip at their latest high school from girls Dean's gone out with), and quite the chef in the kitchen. Yet it was only Sam and John who knew about the first and third thing. True, the other Winchesters knew about Dean's notorious libido, but that's all girls knew about Dean. They didn't see him in the same light that Sam did, and sometimes he felt sorry for his brother.
Yet watching Dean chop up ingredients for stew took away the pity he felt. He sometimes envied himself that Dean let all faucets of himself show around him and no one else, not even John. It was like Dean saved all the best parts of himself for Sam to see, and Sam loved seeing his big brother at his best. Okay, maybe he was a little biased. Sam loved Dean regardless of his flaws. To Sam, Dean was the one man on Earth who deserved love in his life, and Sam was determined to be the one to give it to him.
Stew set in front of him and Dean taking the chair opposite him, Sam hopped out of his seat and opened the mini-refrigerator, pulling a can of soda for himself and a beer for Dean off the small shelf. Dean gave Sam a small smile when he handed him the beer, and Sam felt his heart flutter in his chest. He hated that Dean liked drinking so much, but he figured it beat the alternatives that Dean could have picked instead. Dean would never admit it, but a few beers every now and then helped take the edge off of the things he had to kill or witness his father taking care of. Sam had been a little vocally opposed to Dean drinking at eighteen (okay, if Sam was going to be honest, fifteen), but just now his baby brother handed him a beer like he'd been doing it his whole life. Maybe Sam was starting to grow up a little bit more. Dean liked the Sam who handed him a beer casually as opposed to the Sam who would throw out every last bottle in the fridge like he did that one time.
Sam ladled his stew for a few seconds before pulling the tab back on the soda can. Neither Winchester spoke, but Sam felt a little surge of pride in himself for being able to give Dean a beer like it was no big deal. He didn't know if he'd ever approve of Dean and drinking, but it wasn't like Dean would try and drive afterward. Though underage, Dean was a responsible drinker. Sam sometimes wondered if that was because Dean knew Sam would never speak to him if he tried something dumb like driving while drunk. Sam realized he could probably forgive Dean if he ever did, but he knew he'd be mad for a long time.
"So," Dean's voice spoke up, breaking the silence between them, "What'd you do while I was gone?"
That was unexpected. "Nothing. Why?"
Dean shrugged. "Just curious about what a geek does all alone when he's got a motel room to himself."
Sam resisted the urge to flip him the bird. So much for that fleeting moment where he was feeling like an adult. Leave it to Dean to ruin the mood. Stupid Dean.
"Okay, seriously," Dean started, stabbing the silence in the air again with his velvety smooth voice, "I bought a little Christmas tree while I was out. Wanna put it together after dinner?"
Dean took the shining smile on Sam's happy little face that his little brother did and he smiled to himself as he spooned up a carrot from his stew and ate it. Just like that, Dean managed to fix up the mood he had temporarily ruined. That was another thing Sam loved about Dean. Just like Dean's teasing spells, he seemed to pay more attention to Sam by making sure not to leave anything spoiled between the pair. Sam hoped his smile hadn't said anything else than his wanting to set up the Christmas tree Dean bought.
Dinner passed by and Dean let Sam pick out a little corner of their motel room to put the tree in when they finished assembling it. Sam hoped his blush didn't show every time Dean handed him a part of the tree and their fingers touched. Dean never said anything and Sam savored feeling the electric shocks he received from his big brother's touches. He wondered (while he should have been working) what the feel of Dean's lips would feel like against his. How good would it feel to run his hands up and down Dean's sculpted chest, kiss each of Dean's abs with love. To take Dean's length in his mouth like the women in John's porn movies before taking all of the older Winchester inside him, where he wanted Dean to be the most.
When he realized he actually started to drool at the thought and Dean was giving him a strange look, Sam shook his head to clear his mind of those thoughts. Not like he wanted to, but Sam figured it was a good idea before he actually tried acting on what he was thinking about. With his fantasies and sexually curious nature suppressed enough so he could concentrate, Dean finished putting their Christmas tree together and Sam set it in the corner he'd chosen it to go in.
Dean sat up and walked into the kitchenette, opening the little refrigerator and pulling out the carton of eggnog he'd bought while "barhopping" earlier that evening. Finding two small cups in the overhead cabinet, he opened the eggnog and filled the two cups. He set the eggnog back on the shelf and closed the refrigerator door. Taking the cups in each hand, Dean walked back to Sam and handed him one. Sam's goofy grateful smile was all Dean needed to feel good about himself. Sam loved it when Dean did small things like this. Maybe to someone else, it wouldn't mean much, but to Sam, it meant the world when Dean showed he was thinking of him. No wonder the older Winchester constantly had girls throwing themselves at him.
The end of the day was always when Sam was happiest. The tree had been decorated with a few small strings of lights and tiny ornaments. Dean had apparently gone all out with Christmas this year, and just thinking of it put yet another smile on Sam's face, even though Sam thought that was impossible. Even though his feet were frozen and his nose felt ready to fall off, Sam was extra happy that Dean didn't occupy John's neglected bed and instead, slid under the covers besides Sam. The little Winchester all too readily latched onto Dean's naked torso and settled into the crook of Dean's shoulder, breathing the angelic scent of Dean he loved so much. As he was drifting off to sleep, he sometimes wondered if he was being too obvious about how much he enjoyed having Dean to himself like this. If it was normal when Dean got into bed to hurriedly grab onto him like he was afraid someone else was gonna get there first. Just as one of his patented porno dreams started up, Sam decided he didn't care. When it came down to it, at the end of the day, Sam had Dean in his bed all to himself.
Sam awoke feeling a lot more cold than when he fell asleep, despite the fact that Dean was spooned tightly behind him. Carefully extracting himself from Dean's vice-like grip as best he could without waking up his love, Sam sat up and swung his feet over the edge of the bed. He hurriedly searched for his socks and put them on before he caught hypothermia from the icy air. Making sure Dean was securely covered, Sam made his way over the window and the sharp air made perfect sense. During the night, the snow had fallen even more and now seven inches of it carpeted the world as far as Sam's eyes could see.
=Well, this is great! Snow means the roads aren't safe enough to drive,= Sam thought. =That means Dean's here with me all day!!=
Sam's logic infallible, he hurried back into bed, only stopping to take his socks back off. Dean's arm back over Sam like it never left, Sam guided Dean's hand and set Dean's palm over his heart. Sam hoped the way it was pounding wouldn't wake him up. Sam splayed his palm over the back of Dean's hand and felt the electric shock of love coarse through his body. He marveled at the feel of Dean's skin under his, its firmness, even the hairs on the back of it. There wasn't a single thing Sam didn't love about the first-born Winchester. Sam even went as far as to lace his toes with Dean's while he slept, determined to never let go of his brother. The gentle beating of Dean's heart between Sam's shoulder blades lulled the little brunette back to sleep.
Sometime later, the sounds of someone rustling around in the kitchen woke Sam up. His vision was momentarily hazy before he could focus, and when he did, the first thing he noticed was that he was in bed alone. Sam didn't have to wonder where Dean was, because the next thing he noticed was Dean in the kitchen warming up the waffle iron.
Noticing Sam was up, Dean stepped away from the waffle iron with a cup of hot chocolate in his hand. He smiled as he handed it to Sam and mussed up Sam's already-unruly bed head. "Morning, Sammy."
Sam smiled into the hot chocolate as he said good morning. It turns out Sam was right. With all that snow out there, Dean wasn't capable of going anywhere, which was perfectly fine with Sam. Even though it was only the twenty-second, Sam felt like Christmas had arrived three days early. There was the light of Sam's life in the kitchenette making breakfast for him, and all he could do was smile. It only took him a few more seconds to finish the room-temperature hot chocolate Dean had made before Sam ran out of an excuse to just sit in bed.
A better idea forming in his mind, Sam tossed back the heavy comforter and pulled his socks back on. A little groggy but quickly getting over it, Sam padded into the kitchenette and wrapped his arms around Dean's waist as he stirred the waffle batter. Dean was slightly taken aback by Sam's hug, but just smiled as he resumed stirring the waffle batter while Sam rested his head against Dean's leather-clad back.
Sam let go of Dean long enough to turn the motel radio on, tuning it to Dean's favorite classic rock station. Sam looked over at Dean dipping the batter on the waffle iron, and when Dean pushed it closed and caught Sam's look, he smiled at his baby brother. The smile on the older Winchester's face reaffirmed Sam's love for him. He couldn't wait for Christmas to come.
Chin dripping with syrup but not really caring enough to wipe it off, Sam cut himself another slice of waffle and popped it into his mouth. Dean truly was a marvel when it came to cooking, and Sam hoped the happy noises he was making as he consumed waffle after waffle told Dean that. When Dean looked over at Sam from his own breakfast, Sam couldn't help but grin at Dean like an idiot. More and more, the eagerness to hide his feelings dissolved and Sam just hoped Dean would reciprocate them. Dean just smiled back at his brother and kept eating. There were times he didn't understand or want to know what was going on in Sam's crazy little head.
With the snow not letting up, the twenty-second easily faded into the twenty-third and Sam awoke thrilled at the prospect of it finally being December twenty-fourth. But that wasn't the only surprise the day held for him.
"Wake up, Sammy!" A voice called out.
Sam startled from his sleep to Dean's grinning smile looking down at him. If it weren't for the fact that Dean looked like a kid in a candy shop with that dopey look on his face, Sam probably would've shot him for waking him up so early.
"What is it?" Sam asked groggily.
"It's snowing out there!"
Sam seriously did consider shooting Dean. "It was snowing yesterday, the day before that, and the day before. Why is today any different?"
Still grinning like a fool, Dean indicated to the spare bed that hadn't been slept in since John's previous departure. Sam's eyes adjusted and noticed two sets of identical cases. At first, they were nothing but blurs but quickly cleared into ice skate carrying cases. The second thing noticed was one case seemed to be in his size and the other in Dean's. Sam was finally awake long enough for his hazy brain to do the math.
"We're going ice skating?" Sam asked, feeling a small flame begin to spark in his heart. He tried to keep it dwindling as long as possible in case he was being set up for a disappointment.
"We're going ice skating!" Dean enunciated. "I figured we should have a little fun since we've been cooped up in here for so long. C'mon, dude, you love ice skating!"
Okay, Sam allowed the internal flame in his chest to be stroked and it rapidly broke out into a five-alarm forest fire. The next thing Sam was conscious of was his arms wrapped around Dean, hugging his big brother as tightly as he could. Dean returned Sam's embrace, enthused that Sam was on board with his plans for the day.
"C'mon, Sammy! Brush your teeth and we'll get going."
The ice rink was more like a small little pond deep in the woods behind the motel they had been staying at. As Sam followed Dean and concentrated on the fresh snow prints that fit Dean's shoe size perfectly, Sam figured Dean must've gone out early for something and came across the small pond instead. That, and the way Dean knew exactly where he was going while the woods just looked the same to Sam was another indication.
Finally they reached the pond. Sam felt his breath catch in his chest momentarily. At the risk of feeling like a total girl but not caring at the moment, the pond was surrounded by scenery right out of a Thomas Kinkade painting. The pine trees were covered lightly in snow and the sky was a rare shade of periwinkle that completely set the mood. The pond had frozen over totally, and at closer inspection, Sam could see thin slices made in the icy surface, like those from ice skates. Sam turned his attention to Dean, who was busy putting his skates on, and the very sight of the at-ease older Winchester sparked warmth in Sam's soul. No wonder his heart was in love.
Plopping down in the snow to quickly take his own shoes off and slip the skates on, Sam stood up and followed Dean to the edge of the pond. Boldly but not looking at Dean while doing so, Sam slid his hand into Dean's and prayed to anyone listening that Dean wouldn't reject it, call him a baby, or ruin the wonderful mood Sam was in.
Dean looked down at Sam, their hands together, and pulled Sam out onto the pond. It had been such a long time since Dean had seen Sam smiling and giggling in delight, and knowing he was the reason for Sam's good spirits made it all the more better for Dean.
With Dean's help, Sam was skated across the frozen pond surface, along its edges, from one end to another and back again. The good mood Sam had felt since first seeing the small pond hadn't left him all day, and what made it better was neither did Dean's hand. It stayed in his until Dean needed it back to take his skates off when the sun had finally lowered itself enough where they really should get back to the room. As soon as they were walking the trail back to the motel, Sam received shock as Dean's hand found his. Once again, he prayed the feeling would never go away.
The city had cleared the roads and there were some cars going up and down the street by the time Sam and Dean returned to the room. The Impala had been heavily covered in snow, like the other cars in the motel parking lot, and Sam helped Dean push it all off. Sam was a little disappointed when Dean said there was something he needed to go out and get, but told Sam he wouldn't be long.
Sam was surprised when fifteen minutes later, the familiar sound of the Impala's engine filled the parking space in front of their room. The door unlocked and Dean came in with a cup holder and a large bakery box. Sam's smile practically lit up the room when he realized what it was Dean had run out for. Managing to get reception on the old motel TV, Sam cuddled beside Dean, a take-out cup of hot chocolate in one hand and gingerbread cookie crumbs around his mouth from the half-empty box Dean had resting in his lap.
The movie was one he'd seen a thousand times before at past Christmases with Dean, so while his head was turned in the TV's direction, he eyes were focused on the love of his life. Sam wasn't about to believe that Dean was really interested in It's A Wonderful Life because Sam knew his older brother despised that movie.
Sure enough, Dean had fallen asleep, and Sam figured it had been while he'd been wrapped up in watching the movie. Sam smiled to himself as he admired a sleeping Dean. No one should look that handsome when they're asleep, but it was just one of Dean's many charms. Sam put his hot chocolate cup on the nightstand next to their bed and snuggled closer to his sleeping brother. He should've turned off the lights and the TV, but he didn't want to do anything that might've stolen time from him to be with Dean.
When Sam's eyes opened up the next morning, his heart was pounding hard against his ribcage, threatening to burst out. It was finally December twenty-fifth, Christmas Day. Sam remembered what is was he wanted to do today, but an unexpected fear filled his belly. Could he go through with it? What if Dean said no, even though he heard what Dean was whimpering in the bathroom two weeks ago? What if he thought Sam was twisted and sick and hit him? Or worse, said he hated him? Then the images of the last four days filled his head. Dean wouldn't hate him, and he wouldn't hit him. The worst Dean would do was say no. Sam reminded himself that if he wanted to be an adult about it, he had to be brave like one, like his Dean. One of the things Dean always told Sam was adults could do whatever they wanted. Sam wanted Dean, and before Christmas was over, Sam was going to have him.
Carefully getting out of bed, Sam walked to the kitchenette and started getting ingredients together for pancakes. Sam dared a look over his shoulder to a still-sleeping Dean and found his heart growing stronger at what he was going to do with him later. Dean had fallen asleep in the royal-blue shirt Sam loved so much, another happy thought Sam held onto as he mixed eggs, flour, milk, and baking powder together in a mixing bowl. In fact, taking a better look at Dean, Sam realized that he had been dressed in a combo Sam loved. Black T-shirt, dark-blue jeans, and topped off with that leather jacket, had Sam been a girl (or just a stranger on the street) Dean's clothes alone would've made him invite the elder Winchester in for a good time. Yet Dean's handsome face also added character to his clothes, and Sam couldn't believe Dean was dressed like that yesterday and he didn't pay any attention.
The sounds of pancakes sizzling on the hot plate Sam was cooking them on woke Dean up from his dream. Stirring quietly, the first thing Dean noticed was he was still dressed in yesterday's clothes. The second was that the bed was empty. Third, seeing Sam in the kitchen cooking put his mind at ease of momentarily noticing Sam wasn't beside him like he had been when Dean had temporarily woken up at midnight to turn off the TV and lights and make sure Sam was warm.
"Morning, Sammy," came Dean's scratchy greeting as he sat up and stretched, popping the kinks out of his back.
Sam flipped the pancake he'd been cooking on a serving plate and grabbed a clean glass off the counter. Opening the refrigerator and pouring Dean a glass of milk, Sam put everything back as he maneuvered over to the bed and handed the glass to his brother.
"Merry Christmas, Dean," Sam said, looking his brother in the eyes and smiling.
Dean smiled back as he set the glass on the nightstand and pulled Sam up for a hug. Sam would never get used to the whiplash he'd receive from Dean's chameleon personality. "Merry Christmas, Sammy."
Sam just smiled into Dean's shoulder and Dean put him back down and occupied himself with the milk Sam brought him. Sam went back to the kitchen to finish making pancakes and once Dean had finished his milk, he walked behind Sam to help him finish up, ruffling his hair in the process. Any other time, Sam would've made a snappy remark, but not today. If he wanted his heart's desire to happen tonight, he'd let Dean get away with whatever he wanted. Though Sam would never admit it, Sam loved it when Dean mussed up his bed head. Just the sensation of Dean's hands on him drove his hormones and heart rate wild.
Pancakes down and Dean in the shower, Sam sat cross-legged on the bed, eyeing the neglected one and trying to think where he wanted to do this. Mind already made up, tonight was the night he was gonna offer himself to Dean. Did he want it to happen in the bed they'd been sharing or in the fresher one? Sam was beginning to feel those nerves bubbling around in his stomach again, and if he didn't calm down, he was going to make himself sick.
The water in the shower turned off and Sam was snapped back from his thoughts. The sight of Dean standing around in just a towel was almost too much for Sam. If Dean looked hot in clothes, out of them he was positively sinful. The sheen glistening off his skin from the lights was driving Sam's mind wild, and he hurriedly past Dean and closed the bathroom door behind him.
One thing Sam loved about taking showers after Dean was that the bathroom still smelled like him. Hopping into the still-hot tub, Sam turned the water on and was surprised it was still hot. Dean must have thought ahead not to use it all. Sam smiled at the thought as he quickly cleaned up.
Dried and dressed half an hour later, Sam was disappointed to see it was only a little past one in the afternoon. Scared of what all the free time was going leave him with, Sam was relieved when once dressed and opening the bathroom door, Dean had started pulling Christmas presents out from under the tree and piled them on the bed.
"C'mon, dude! Time to open your presents!"
Sam smiled warmly at him as he took a spot next to Dean and started unwrapping the first present his older brother handed him. The Walkman was the first gift that fell in Sam's lap, and that alone was the best present Dean could've given him. The following were books and CDs that Sam had wanted but knew he couldn't have. One after another, Dean had pretty much given him everything he'd seen that year and wanted but had to live without. How Dean even knew he wanted this stuff was beyond him, but that was just another part of Dean Sam loved.
Eyes threatening to spill tears as the love in his heart had already flooded through his body, Sam looked up at Dean who had the warmest smile on his face Sam had ever seen.
"Like your presents?" Dean asked, smile faltering a little, afraid that Sam was gonna start crying for another reason.
Not trusting his voice, Sam simply gave Dean a watery smile and nodded. Dean reached over and pulled Sam into an embrace, and Sam let a few tears fall on the shoulder of Dean's sweater, one of the few sweaters the older Winchester owned.
"Merry Christmas, Sammy," Dean said softly. "I love you."
That did it. Sam decided tonight couldn't wait. Who knows if he would feel the same way by the time the sun set. It was either now or never. Stepping over shredded wrapping paper, Dean got up and made his way into the kitchen. Sam quickly shot up and pulled Dean around.
Dean looked down at him with a confused look. "What's up?"
Sam started to blush and felt those nerves returning. =No, it's now or never, Sam!=
"I, uh, didn't give you your Christmas present."
Dean smiled at him. "I don't need a present, Sam. All this was for you."
Sam refused to let him go as Dean tried turning back around. "But I got something for you!"
Dean sighed. "All right. Where is it?"
Sam loosened his hold on Dean and looked down at his shoes, legs feeling like lead and his hands beginning to tremble. Dean's exasperated expression quickly softened at the sight of Sam looking so scared. Dean quickly bent down on his knees to level his height with Sam's.
"Sammy? What is it?" Dean asked in a soft voice, making Sam look up.
Encouraged by the response, Dean kept talking. "Come on, whatever it is, you can give it to me. I promise I won't laugh at it."
"Promise?" Sam's little voice piped up, surprising its speaker with how faraway it sounded.
"Promise," Dean said with another smile, ruffling Sam's clean hair.
Still looking up at Dean's softened face and gentle expression, Sam sucked in a huge breath and slowly starting closing in the inches that separated them. Dean's breathing hitched a little as he realized what it was Sam was doing, but he did nothing to stop him. Sam took that as a good sign and closed the gap, planting a gentle kiss on Dean's shocked lips.
It felt better than he dreamed it would. Dean's lips were so full and soft; he couldn't imagine anything better. It was like giving a kiss to a cloud on a bright and sunny day. A firework exploded deep down in Sam's belly and Sam pulled away. Opening his eyes, Sam told Dean as best as he could that the ball was in his court. Dean's tongue traced over his lips and his eyes found Sam's looking at him.
Dean's arms had snaked around Sam and before the younger Winchester could think, Dean had pulled him back for another kiss. He couldn't believe this! He pictured moments like this countless times in the shower while trying to build up steam, but for Sam to be doing it now was mind-blowing. Sam apparently wasn't about to let up so Dean kept kissing him, licking Sam's bottom lip for access and spilled inside his little brother's mouth when Sam finally opened up.
Both of them started tongue-battling for dominance, Dean growing more and more turned on by the microsecond. Finally, a need for air caused Sam to push away from Dean. The first thing both had noticed as they took in breath after breath was both their mouths were red from exertion. Sam smiled breathlessly as his fingers traced over Dean's flustered mouth, thrilled that Dean had chosen Christmas of all mornings to shave. The elder Winchester felt his heart pound in his chest at how intimately Sam was touching him. Dean kept his grip around Sam firm but gentle, refusing to let Sam go.
Finally, Dean spoke. "How long, Sammy?"
Sam looked up from the wondrous gift that was Dean's mouth. "Forever. Dean, forever. I've wanted to do that for such a long time."
Dean let that sink in as he pulled Sam back against him and claimed that sweet mouth once more. Relying on instincts Sam didn't know he had, the second time around his body started breathing in through his nose, leaving more time to kiss Dean. Sam, who had let his arms just dangle limply beside him, moved them to the small of Dean's back and slowly started lifting them up. If there was one thing he loved about Dean's body, it was the sheer musculature of his back. Not an ounce of fat or imperfection on it; Sam's mind was receding into fantasies of things to come in the very near future.
"Dean?" Sam started, pulling away from his brother once more.
The look on Dean's face was priceless, like Sam had just taken away his favorite toy.
"Why'd you stop?" Dean asked, body stiffening as in defense that Sam didn't want to keep doing this.
Sam pulled himself out of Dean's embrace and fell back on the bed. Crawling over to the side of the bed, Sam bent over and felt around for a strip of condoms he had hidden between the mattresses when he first bought them almost two weeks ago. Pulling them up with him, he turned back to face Dean, who kept flipping his eyes from Sam's and the condoms he held in his hand.
"Sammy?" Dean asked, his voice cracking at what Sam was trying to apply.
Sam took a deep, quiet breath and looked Dean in the eye. "Dean," he said his name like a prayer. "Come over here and unwrap your gift."
Dean noticeably went hard right there. Those words coming out of his baby brother's mouth should not have the effect on him that they did. Dean's palms began to sweat a little as he turned out the overhead lights and Sam turned on the small bedside lamp, looking back at Dean crawling towards Sam on his hands and knees. Dean looked like the feral creature Sam knew his reputation to be, and Sam felt his heart begin to beat faster and harder.
Sam quickly moved to occupy the middle of the bed and Dean, not missing a beat, soon crawled up over him.
"Sammy, are you sure about this?" Dean asked, uncertainty and a small touch of fear in his voice. "If we go down this road, I don't know if I'll wanna go back."
Sam's eyes started to glaze over with lust as he looked up at Dean. "I don't want to go back either. Dean, I'm sure. I want to do this." Taking a deep breath, he stated, "I want to give this to you."
Dean looked down at Sam for a moment and realized what his baby brother was saying. Sam was a virgin. Not only that, Sam wanted Dean to be his first. If that didn't fill his heart with love and stroke his ardor, he didn't know what could.
"Okay, Sam," Dean said, noticing the way Sam's eyes flashed at not being called Sammy for a second time. He took the strip that had fallen out of Sam's hand and looked at the different colors staring back at him. "You got a special one in mind?"
Sam blushed as he looked for a green one and tore it off the strip, away from the others. He handed it to Dean. "It's supposed to taste like mint."
Dean smiled down at Sam before pressing his lips back against Sam's in a chaste kiss. Leaning up and settling his weight on the backs of his legs, Dean pulled Sam up with him and kissed him one more time. Dean pulled Sam's sweater up over his head. Sam's momentary nerves were settled the second he felt Dean's hands under his T-shirt, pulling it up over his head. Dean couldn't believe how thin Sam really was. Even though he'd seen the younger Winchester naked countless times before, this was the first time he really began to take notice.
Sam's fingers fumbled slightly as he tried pulling Dean's sweater off. What Sam hadn't counted on was that's all Dean was wearing under there. Just the sight of Dean's muscular body, sun-kissed and honey toned, made Sam feel almost unworthy to be in its presence. Sam ran his hands across the broad expanse of Dean's shoulders, hands trickling down to splay open palms over Dean's massive chest. Sam could feel Dean's nipples harden under his touch and he took it as a sign of encouragement to continue. Sam's eyes drifted down to Dean's abs and his eyes followed. Remembering wanting to kiss Dean's six-pack, Sam bent forward and started gently planting kisses on Dean's stomach. Dean's soft groan rang loud and clear in Sam's ears and he kept going.
Sam wagged his tongue through the thin line of blond hairs under Dean's navel that trailed down into his jeans and when he looked up, a slight blush had crept over Dean's face.
"C'mere," Dean whispered, pulling Sam back up into a kiss.
Now it was Sam's turn to moan as Dean once again kissed him. The way Dean was holding him was driving him wild. Dean's arms were wrapped firmly around Sam's back and the older Winchester felt his member straining against the tough denim. Dean didn't know how much longer he was going to last before he exploded.
Sam stretched himself up and lifted his head, exposing his neck for Dean to smatter with kisses. Dean's hands ran up Sam's back and rested on his shoulder blades, gently pressing into the bones and making Sam mewl for more.
"Dean?" Sam asked, pulling gently away from his big brother.
"Yeah, baby?"
Sam's heart leapt upon hearing that, instantly deciding he loved the sound of it. "Can we make love now?"
Dean took a moment to register the slight blush on Sam's young face and smiled as he looked down at the smaller Winchester.
"You ready?" Dean asked, settling Sam on the bed on his back.
Sam was so aroused he couldn't speak. Instead, he nodded. Dean leaned over Sam and started darting his tongue in Sam's navel, the act surprising Sam and caused him to feel that arousal pooling around in his stomach.
"Dean, please," Sam moaned, hating the sound of his begging voice as he wanted this to be special for both him and Dean.
Dean winced a little at the need in Sam's voice and stopped what he was doing.
"Lift your hips up," Dean said, keeping up with Sam as he unfastened his jeans and pulled them off.
Sam couldn't believe he was now just in his underwear with his perfect brother about to take what it was he deserved.
Hovering over Sam once again, Dean started splaying kisses over every inch of Sam's exposed flesh. On his collarbone, Sam's thin shoulders, against Sam's long neck, and back down to his chest. Sam's heart pounded against Dean's lips and the elder Winchester stopped what he was doing to look Sam in the eyes for a moment and smiled at his baby brother.
Sam threaded his fingers through Dean's short hair, for once glad that Dean didn't have it styled like he normally did. Something about it made it feel natural as Dean planted kisses on Sam's stomach, strangely making the younger Winchester extremely hungry. Scared that his stomach was going to start growling, Sam distracted himself from what Dean was doing long enough to realize it wasn't hunger he was feeling in the pit of his stomach, it was love. Love that Sam wanted Dean to consume, and now that the man on top of him was doing so, Sam wondered if it would run out.
A new thought forming in his head, Sam gently tugged at Dean's hair and the blond stopped what he was doing to see what it was Sam wanted.
Placing his hands on Dean's naked, freckled shoulders, Sam quickly switched their positioning so now Dean was on his back. Dean looked up at Sam as the brunette lowered himself and pulled open the fly of Dean's jeans. Dean's eyes widened as he felt himself pulled out of his denim prison and blushed at the soft skin of Sam's palm started rubbing up and down.
Dean grabbed at his jeans and with the help of his feet, pulled them and his boxers off completely. Now stark naked, Sam was free to work up his brother's steam uninterrupted.
Once Dean was back to the size that Sam had seen him at that first time in the bathroom, Sam took the head of Dean's member in his mouth. Dean's eyes flew open and his hands halfway made it to reaching out and stopping Sam when the younger boy took more of his length in his mouth.
Up and down Sam's head went, swiveling his tongue around every inch of Dean's shaft he could claim, never once letting Dean out of his mouth. Eyes closed and ears in tune, Sam listened to the shallow way Dean was breathing and the soft moans he was making. Sam blushed when he felt Dean's fingers weaving through his hair and guiding his head up and down, not letting Sam do all the work. When Sam chanced a glance up at Dean and saw those beautiful jade eyes cloaked by hooded eyelids, a burst of pride hit him in his chest that he was doing good by his brother, just like he wanted to.
Dean had only had a few blowjobs in his life (one he had paid for but would never admit), but this was by far the best. A need to ask where Sam learned his skill from receded in the back of his mind as his lust started taking over. Lucky for him, Dean was now eighteen and able to hold his steam for longer periods of time. When he was Sam's age, it wouldn't have been more than two or three minutes before he came.
From all the videos Sam had watched, he knew that men wouldn't last long when women did this to them. In some of the movies, the sounds Dean was making were sounds they made and Sam knew if he didn't stop, Dean wasn't going to last. Yet Sam didn't know if he could stop. The older Winchester tasted so damn good, like honey. But for things to end the way Sam wanted them to, he was going to have to stop now.
Letting Dean slick out of his mouth, Sam swiped his tongue teasingly across Dean's shaft and looked his brother square in the eye.
"Now, Dean?"
Dean smiled. "Come here."
Sam crawled back up to his brother and let Dean flip him on his back. Grabbing the condom off the nightstand, Sam smiled up at Dean as the older Winchester opened it up and filled the room with the scent of mint.
"Hey, you were right," Dean started as he licked the outside of the condom. "This does taste like mint. Wanna taste?"
Dean held the unrolled condom down for Sam and the brunette licked the tip of the condom, just like Dean had. Dean went even harder at the sight of Sam licking the condom's tip, anticipating what Sam might do once Dean rolled it on himself.
"Oh, wait, we're gonna need this too," Dean said as he leaned over the bed's edge and ruffled through his duffel.
Coming back up, Sam recognized a small bottle of lube. Sam had seen plenty of those at the drugstore during his condom quest, but he'd chosen not to buy one. Now he knew why.
Dean popped the cap open and dripped some of the clear oil on his fingers. Lathering them up and using his other hand to gently (Erotically, in Sam's opinion) slap at the inside of Sam's thighs, the younger Winchester opened his legs and canted his hips high enough to hold his opening up to Dean.
Feeling a finger slide inside him, Sam surged momentarily at the feel of Dean inside. Just like all the times he used his fingers and pretended it was Dean, Sam relaxed at the initial burn and felt his internal channel open up as Dean pushed in a second digit.
"You're loosening up nicely, Sammy," Dean complimented, surprised at not having to advise Sam to relax. "Do this before?"
Sam blushed up at Dean and Dean smiled knowingly. Then the skills Sam displayed with his mouth early on reminded Dean of the other question he wanted to ask Sam. "Hey, Sam? How did you know what to do, with...?"
Sam almost smiled at how suddenly flustered Dean had gotten at the end of his question. He didn't expect Dean to have questions related to sex that he couldn't ask, but Sam wasn't going to tease him about it now. He was too in the mood to do anything to ruin it.
"From Dad's videos. I watch Dad's videos every now and then. And the magazines you have hidden between the mattresses."
Dean chuckled at that. "My, my, Sammy. Someone's been a busy little boy."
"Your boy," Sam stated, catching Dean's eyes with his.
Dean's playful smile turned serious and his lips captured Sam's in another kiss. Sam moaned with delight when Dean didn't let up his kissing regime. That, and being fingered open while kissing Dean was definitely on Sam's list of things to remember forever. Dean couldn't help but smile into his kiss and Sam used the opportunity to take a much-needed breath as Dean started in once again.
The bed shifted a little and Sam, feeling awkward opening his eyes even a little while kissing Dean, noticed the older Winchester rolling the rubber down his length now that his fingers were out of Sam.
Shakily, Dean broke off the kiss. "You ready, Sam?"
Again, Sam's eyes lit up at the preferred use of his name. "Yeah, I'm ready."
One more kiss to his lips and Dean guided himself between Sam's spread legs. A final glance at Sam's approving face and Dean found Sam's entrance and gently pushed in.
Now Sam understood why some people were literally addicted to the acts of sex. If the first time was any indication of things to come, Dean was in trouble. Sam bucked himself up as Dean kept up his gentle pace of pushing into the willing body beneath his. Dean smiled at Sam's eagerness for more and a quick thought struck him that maybe his libido was part of being a Winchester, not just something he developed after the first time he'd had sex.
"Oh, God, Dean! Oh, that feels so good!!" Sam moaned as he pushed himself up even further than he thought possible, trying to absorb as much of Dean as humanly possible.
"No complaints here either, little bro," Dean whimpered as he was now buried root-deep in Sam.
Neither moved for a moment, Dean letting Sam get used to the feel of him and Sam trying to remember how to breath as he felt Dean's girth wondrously splitting him in two.
Heart calming down and thinking he was ready for more, Sam gently pushed Dean's shoulder back and urged his brother to keep going. Leaning down to kiss Sam, Dean pulled out of Sam to the tip of his cock before thrusting back in, another wail of pleasure emitting from Sam.
The wonderful magic Dean's kisses contained made up for the slight discomfort Sam initially felt when Dean first entered him. Now he never wanted Dean to leave. In and pulled out and pushed back in, Dean left and re-entered Sam in different thrusts, more fast than slow. Sam marveled at the feeling of his brother, his heart and soul, his love, hope, his reason for living, his Dean, made love to him. Sam's hands flailed up on one particular blunt thrust to encase Dean's biceps, slicked wet with sweat. When Dean's lips left Sam's, he would grab Dean's head and push his mouth back against his.
Sam was surprised he had a moment to notice that Dean was lasting a rather long time. From what he could remember hearing in the hallways at school from the senior girls who'd had his brother before him, they were always bragging that Dean could make it last or go by fast if they wanted. Sam wondered how long Dean would last before he let loose.
"Dean?" Sam whimpered against Dean's lips and Dean's hands slid down the sweaty sides of Sam's body, his member still throbbing inside his wet-hot channel.
"Yeah, baby?" Dean grunted as he pushed back into Sam.
Sam smiled at the feel of Dean's girth stretching him back out. "I love you, Dean."
Dean's lips against his once more was all the answer Sam needed, but when Dean broke off the kiss, Sam's ears were greeted with, "I love you, too, Sammy."
Dean pulled completely out of Sam and before the brunette could protest, Dean flipped Sam on his hands and knees. Running his sweat-soaked hands down Sam's back and actually splashing sweat around as he playfully slapped Sam's hips, Dean arched Sam's spine so that his entrance was held up high and offered. Dean held him open and Sam imagined the sight Dean was treating himself to was like the scenes where the men in John's porn flicks opened up the women they were setting to slam into. Sam turned his head to the right and caught Dean's attention. Sam licking his bottom lip and giving Dean the puppy-dog eyes he knew his brother loved, Dean guided himself back to Sam's opening and pushed back in.
"Oh, God, Dean!" Sam cried, instantly loving what he remembered was called doggie style.
"Having fun?" Dean asked as his balls slapped against his little brother.
Sam blushed at how turned on he was finding himself from Dean's ordinary, commonplace words.
"C'mon, Sammy! Don't hold back now!" Dean commanded.
Sam grinned to the bed's headboard and started pushing himself back to match Dean's thrusts.
Pulling out again, Sam was re-positioned on his back and he splayed his legs as wide and comfortable as he could get them for Dean. Sam reached up for a kiss when Dean spilled right into him.
Sam's sweaty hands ran over Dean's face and since he wasn't going to look at Dean while he was kissing him, he had to let his fingers do the looking.
An idea struck Dean as he grazed over Sam's lip with a finger he'd used to open his baby brother up with. Dean pulled his lips from Sam's and when the brunette opened his hazel eyes, Dean slid the digit in Sam's mouth.
Sam didn't know what to make of the unflavored lubricant, but the flavor his did recognize was his own.
"Taste me," Sam said when Dean stopped beating his finger against Sam's tongue.
If at all possible, Dean grew even harder inside Sam and started to ram into the tight heat engulfing him. Dean took the same finger he had in Sam's mouth and started sucking it while Sam watched.
Taking the finger out and going back to kissing Sam, Dean lamented, "You taste good, Sammy."
Sam smiled. "Come for me, Dean."
Dean's arms wrapped around Sam's sweaty back and he was pulled off the bed slightly as Dean opened his own legs a little bit and bluntly started ramming into Sam. Sam was beginning to see white stars dotting his vision and right when his orgasm was ripped from his body, his whole world went white.
When Sam finally came around again, the first thing he was aware of was Dean moaning his name and his shifted inside Sam. Dean was steel hard inside Sam, and Sam felt the change inside him. Sam's insides wrapped around Dean and milked the Winchester's pride for every last drop it was worth.
Dean lowered Sam back down to the bed and collapsed on top of him. Sam wouldn't have it any other way.
"Oh, God, Dean. God, that was wonderful." Sam muttered through the haze of his brain. He couldn't believe his first time. It was even better than anything his fantasies had ever been.
Dean's lips were kissing every each of Sam's sweaty face and neck they could reach, his voice forming sweet, deep-toned nothings to coax the younger Winchester from the post-coital buzz he no doubt was feeling.
"My baby, my Sammy. Thank you for such a wonderful gift, baby. I love you, baby Sammy." Dean whispered against Sam's lips. My Sammy, I love you. Love you, baby."
"I love you, too. Dean?" Sam looked over at Dean, making sure his brother to see everything Sam wanted to say to him.
Dean kissed him once more, reaching out for and pulling the blankets over the two of them, careful not to detach himself from inside Sam.
"What is it, baby?"
Sam smiled, feeling the need to sleep overwhelming after not only phenomenal sex, but phenomenal first-time loss of virginity sex, beginning to claim him. "Merry Christmas, Dean."
End***
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