Title: Remember and Pray
By: duffshel
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Author's note: Written for the comment_fic prompt: "I won't stand by and watch him die!" "Then don't watch."
Rating: PG-13 (swearing)
Warning: Mild slash, Castiel/Dean, Character Death
Setting: After the big fight. Spoilers for the finale.
Summary: Even after Lucifer is defeated sacrifices have to be made.


It had been a hard fight but Lucifer had been defeated, well, locked up again. Earth was safe. Heaven was celebrating. All should have been well. The battle had been won but as Dean stood next to Anna, everything around him emitting an ethereal glow, he felt no sense of victory, just disbelief, terror and grief.

"How can you just stand there? We have to do something!" he growled, eyes scanning his plain white surroundings for anything to use as a weapon or an escape even though he logically knew that there was nothing in this place that the upper-powers had not chosen to be there.

"You think I don't want to? I'm trapped here too Dean, I'm as powerless as you," Anna told him, arms wrapped around her body.

"It just, it isn't right. You hear me!" he yelled at the top of his lungs as he looked up, no longer addressing Anna but any other 'being' that might be listening in. "This isn't right you bastards! I stopped him! I locked Lucifer back in his cage! I saved us and I get no say in this? You owe me! All of you! You self-righteous pricks!"

"I have my doubts they're listening," Anna said quietly.

"How can you be so calm? Think of something, anything. What is this place?" Dean asked, seeing only white effervescence.

"I imagine you're seeing it differently than me. Your mind perceives this place differently. We're in a viewing room. And I'm not calm, I'm resigned. There's nothing we can do Dean," she told him.

"I don't want to hear that! I won't stand by and watch him die! Not after everything, not like this!"

"Then don't watch," Anna recommended. "We're in a viewing room. It doesn't mean you can't close your eyes."

"Cas got one request before these bastards execute him. He wanted me here. I doubt it was so I could stand here with my eyes closed," Dean muttered as he paced.

"No, it was to say good-bye."

Dean looked up at the sound of the beautifully familiar voice, echoing with grace.


"Hello Dean, Anna. I have little time," he told them as he stepped forward after appearing from nowhere.

"Castiel, you did the right thing. No matter what's happening now, I'll make sure you're remembered for that," she told him.

"It's been an honor," he replied with a quick nod. He extended his arm and they shook hands at the wrist like soldiers, then she stepped back, not able to leave completely but able to disappear into the surrounding light to give them privacy.

Dean looked as devastated as he felt. As Castiel placed an affectionate hand on his cheek he wanted to collapse from grief.

"They can't. They can't do this. We stopped Lucifer, together. You were part of that. There must be something we can do, someone I can talk to. I mean, Jesus, don't they have appeals in this place," he pleaded.

Castiel shook his head, there was sadness in his eyes but he smiled now, resigned to his fate, "I disobeyed Dean, at a time of significance when loyalty was demanded. No matter what the result, I have to be punished for my disobedience. I betrayed our Father. I fought my brethren."

"You didn't betray anyone. God didn't want what happened, he couldn't," Dean whispered, shaking his head in denial. "They can't do this, I mean, we can't just let them kill you, there's gotta be other options. Can't you just fall, like Anna? Come on down Cas, it's not that bad."

"Falling is not a punishment, it is a choice. A choice I no longer have the right to," he told him.

"So what happens now? What do we do?" Dean asked desperately.

"I leave. You go on living. It's that simple."

Tears streamed down Dean's face, "There's gotta be more."

"Even for us there is life and death. This is death, but it's not the end. I don't know what comes after this for me but I believe there is more," Castiel told him softly, hopefully. "I believe there is something after death, even for angels and I will wait for you there."

Dean nodded, "And I just go on with my life? No, I can't. Not after all this. What … what am I supposed to do without you?"

"Pray for me," Castiel requested. "And remember me."

Castiel's hand moved to Dean's shoulder, aligning his fingers with the fiery handprint he knew was underneath the t-shirt.

"Remember every time I gripped you tight and smile. I rescued you Dean, but you saved me just as much. Thank you," Castiel said softly as he leaned in to press his lips against Dean's, knowing it was the most human way to show his love and gratitude. When he pulled away Dean was breathless from the experience and Castiel could feel the salty tears that had transferred onto his own cheeks. "I have to go."

Dean closed his eyes. If Castiel wasn't willing to fight there really must have been no hope.

"I'll remember," he promised.

Castiel smiled. Then there was a flash of light and he was gone. Forever. Dean collapsed, not sure if he would ever get up.

"But I won't pray."

The end.

Terribly depressing, I know. Sorry about that, hope you enjoyed anyway.