Title: Lies and Subterfuge
By: veradeath
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I do not in any way own these characters.
Summary: It not tender, this dance they do.

***

It's not tender, this dance they do.

Lies and subterfuge, fake ids and the hunting, ever looming and vital, this is what they do.

He doesn't know how it started or when. Well, he can hazard a fair guess as to when they had sex, but beyond that, he doesn't know. Dean has always been there for him, except for the times he wasn't. This was his fault anyway. Quite simply, they have a bond that stretches past time, fusing them together with blood. Maybe it started with amoebas that were side by side. Hell if he knows.

He doesn't know if he wants to stop or not.

Dean gives him bruises. He gives Dean bruises. They make each other bleed. It's as much as fighting as having sex. He started it. Maybe. There's no end in sight but hunting. They won't stop, not even if the other wants to. They can't.

He wonders if Dean hates him now. He would, if he were Dean. Then again, if he were Dean, he would have refused. Or maybe not. It's all jumbled.

So, now they're both trapped in the ruin of their lives that Sam has created with his want and need and desire. The ruin of their lives that Dean helped shape with his explicit permission.

So Sam will bite him in all sorts of places, Dean will scratch and hold him, bruising him wherever he touches and for all appearances it will look like a brawl. And then they'll come.

He also wonders what would happen if he told Dean that he caused Mary's death. He's expecting death and dismemberment in rather painful ways. But, he likes breathing, so he won't. Suspicions will do them both no good.

It's not the life that Sam wanted but it's all he has now.

***