Title: This Is Your Future
Author: vaderina
Rating: PG
Genre and/or Pairing: Implied Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: None, this completely ignores anything after the revelation of the apocalypse. There be time travel in this too.
Warnings: Serious blasphemy, piss take of anything church related, crack and language. If any of this offends you, I'd strongly recommend you swiftly move on to read something more palatable!
Word Count: 1204
Summary: Castiel deems that Dean and Sam need a boost of morale. What better way to do it than to take them to church. In the future.


Dean and Sam were on some downtime, lacking in hope, faith and energy in the battle in the Apocalypse. They were crashed on their respective beds when Castiel fluttered into the room.


"I've got something to show you." he intoned seriously, reaching for a brother with each hand, fingers outstretched. Before an indignant "the fuck?" could leave Dean's lips they were standing outside a church somewhere.


"The fuck?" Dean said out loud this time.


"You will stay quiet and at the back, do not speak to anyone, nor will you comment on anything until we get back to your time." Castiel instructed.


"Our time?" Sam sounded like he was about to have a geekgasm.


"Yes Sam, your time. We are in the future. I deemed it necessary to show you what you are fighting for to increase your morale." Without leaving the brothers time to argue, Castiel turned and strode purposefully into the church. Sam and Dean trailed behind.


Upon entering, the first thing they noticed were the huge stained glass windows.


"Dean?" Sam asked, voice dropped to a low awed whisper.


"The fuck?" Dean's vocabulary seemed to have been reduced to an all time low in 30 years.


"Is that us?" Sam asked.


"It is you yes. Now please don't say anything until we are back in your time." Cas' voice cut through their hushed and brief conversation.


"Dude, you look so camp. Looks like you've got a limp wrist." Sam giggled.


"At least I don't need a haircut." Dean shot back grumpily.


"You think you are remembered as Dean Flamboyantly Gay Winchester?" Sam teased.


"And you are Sam Annoying Floppy Haired Gigantor Sasquatch Winchester."


"That doesn't even make sense Dean."


"Silence." Castiel rumbled ominously before walking firmly up the aisle to stand in front of the congregation.


"Hey Assbutts." he said gravely.


"Hey Assbutt." the congregation replied enthusiastically.


"Today we will listen to a reading from a different book than planned. Rather than the Book of the Lovers, we will instead focus on the Book of Bobby."


Dean held back a snort while Sam hid his face in his hands and shook silently.


"The Book of Bobby is about courage and family. As you all know, family is not defined by the blood that flows in your veins. Bobby the Father knew this very well when he took Dean and Sam to him, offering a father figure when John the Up-bringer could not do so due to firstly his own problems, then later due to his death." Castiel preached. "We will now have a brief reading from the Book of Bobby."


"It was not long after Bobby lost his legs that he realised it did not matter that he could no longer hunt. When the Winchester brothers stopped by his abode, they still broke their fast with him. While Dean was known to share everything he owned with the needy and the desperate, he was equally reluctant to share his cheeseburger and beer. Yet Bobby could enjoy partaking in such activity with the elder Winchester while Sam often tried to offer his own salad, to a lesser enjoyment of the older hunter. The Book of Bobby, 4 2, formerly 6' 1''." Castiel closed the book he had been holding.


"Now let us share the joy of the cheeseburger and beer." he announced. The brothers at the back watched in awe as people began to file up the aisle to receive a mini-cheeseburger and a sip of beer from Castiel who magically was holding a bucket full of food and a bottle of the said alcoholic beverage.


"You've got to be shitting me." Sam muttered as Dean nodded dumbfounded. When the queue of people sat back down again, Castiel ascended the steps to the altar again and began to speak.


"Of course, we must never forget the role of Zacharia the Chuckles in this. He was the one who orchestrated the Nonpocalypse which drove the stake deep between the Winchester brothers and then brought them closer together than before. Now please share the love with your brothers and sisters and show that there is no stake driven between you and your brethren."


People began turning to others around them, offering a half smile. The people offering utterend a friendly "bitch" which was responded to by an equally affectionate "jerk". During this time, Dean took the opportunity to look at not only the people but the church too. Instead of a mat, there was a devil's trap, a bowl of holy water, a salt shaker and a selection of silver knives and plasters. The altar behind Cas wasn't a table now he looked. Instead, it was a slightly smaller scale version of his Baby. The Impala's copy stood stoic and beautiful, carved of granite and silver to the greatest detail. Dean fancied that if he looked hard enough he could even see the barely there dent Sam had left on the rim when he pulled into a kerb. He got another one ripped for that, his poor Baby hadn't been the same since.


The hubbub of "bitches" and "jerks" died down and Castiel cleared his throat.


"That concludes our reading of the day. May Dean be with you."


"And Sam follow you." the congregation replied.


Then Castiel and everybody else in the church finished the prayer together.


"And don't forget the pie."


Castiel walked down to the door and saw everyone out with a polite "jerk" to each "bitch" he got. Sam and Dean just watched in wild wonder. Amongst the last few parishioners to leave was a bottle blonde girl who looked like she had more tits than brains.


"But Preach, why didn't you talk about The Lovers today? I was really looking forward to that." she asked. Castiel looked momentarily panicked, but before he could bestow any insightful knowledge to the bimbo, she continued.


"Their final ride in Impala His Baby to face down Lucifer the Misunderstood was especially noteworthy and exemplary of true love. I mean, you didn't even mention Castiel today. I'm sure that the Faithful Lover and Son should have brought up today. He and Dean are family after all now, aren't they? They held hands on the final ride Before, and then married on the day of the After." she sighed. Castiel blinked, uttered a very heart felt "bitch" and reached for the confused and gaping brothers.


They were back in the motel room and before Sam could even begin, Dean was up and ranting.


"The fuck?" angel travel really impeded his vocabulary. "The fuck Cas?" it was slowly improving. "What the hell was she on about? The Lovers? Us holding hands? I repeat, the fuck?"


Castiel's eyes were wide and darting around the room.


"That, you were not meant to hear. It will come to be." he thought then just as he was about to disappear, he added "This was meant to boost your morale, give you something to fight for. This is your future."