Title: 12 Stopwatch Scenarios
Author: Clarity
Rating: AO
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers: They Keep Killing Suzie
Summary: A scenario for every hand on Ianto's stopwatch.

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1:

‘Checkmate,’ Jack said and grinned from ear to ear. ‘Guess that means I win.’

‘I’ve still got my socks on,’ Ianto protested, weakly, as he clicked the stopwatch off. ‘Eight minutes twelve seconds.’

‘Ha, under ten minutes too. That means I get a little bonus, doesn’t it? Not just a nice strip tease…’

Ianto gave Jack a deliberate stare up and down. ‘You’re down to your boxers. I was very close.’

‘Whatever.’ He repeated the word in finger-form. ‘I’m thinking I’d like to have you pressed against the glass… Hmm, yeah, overlooking the hub.’

‘Alright. But can I keep my socks on?’



2:

‘Five, four, three, two, one.’

‘I’ve done it, I’ve done it!’ Ianto spun around, holding up his white chocolate mocha coffee with a dash of baileys , proudly. ‘See. Told you I could brew this in precisely sixty seconds.’

Jack grabbed it, grinning from ear to ear. ‘I stand corrected. And thank you.’



3:

‘Are you going to…?’

‘No.’

‘Are you going to…?’

‘No!’

‘Really, ‘cause you look like you’re going to…’

‘Ianto! I’m not going to break, so would you just… just...’ Jack scrunched up his face and held his breath, determined, determined not to be defeated.

‘Come on, you said you could easily hold out for three minutes at least. We’re not even at one yet. Training, you said. You can withstand all forms of torture. Manipulation. Mental agony. Hypnosis. Mind reading…’

Jack exploded with laughter, squirming away from Ianto. ‘Okay okay! Quit it. Please! Please!’

Ianto stopped tickling him, laughing himself. ‘Good job the Daleks don’t have feather dusters as well as loo plungers or we’d be finished.’

‘Ha ha.’ Jack wrapped his legs right around the man, holding him tightly, ignoring Ianto’s mortified protests as he paid him back until the tears were rolling down their faces.



4:

‘There. I did it. Sudoku in…’ Jack took a look at the stopwatch in Ianto’s hand, ‘under four minutes. Told you I could do it.’

‘Very impressive. Especially factoring in the fact that two minutes of that were you texting Tosh for some of the answers.’



5:

‘So you attach the string to the stopwatch’s side button.’

‘Right,’ Ianto pointed at the delicate antique now sitting at the top of metal coil and directed Jack’s eyes to the thin white cord knotted onto it. ‘We just set it for say thirty seconds, and it’ll act as a timed detonator.’

Rubbing his hands gleefully, Jack stepped back. ‘Great idea. So let’s try it.’

‘If you want.’ Carefully, very carefully, Ianto set the timer.

Jack grabbed him and practically manhandled him aside into the corner. Together they watched the stopwatch time down and finally pull the string far enough to drop the potassium in the water.

The explosion of fire was almost blinding.

‘I love science!’ Jack enthused, slapping Ianto on the back. ‘Let’s make more!’



6:

TICK TICK

Thrust in.

TICK TICK

Thrust out.

TICK TICK.

Thrust in.

‘Oh God…! Oooooh don’t stop!’



7.

‘I don’t believe it. You did it right to the second!’ Ianto enthused, staring at the stopwatch as if unsure whether it was lying or not.

‘Well it is the Minute Waltz,’ Jack said, making a sublime attempt false modesty. ‘It wouldn’t be called that if you weren’t supposed to play it in a minute.’ He closed the lid on the old 1940s Hammond organ he kept in the corner of his office, mostly for old time’s sake.

‘I didn’t even know you could play.’

Jack shrugged. ‘There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.’



8:

‘Honestly, Jack, you’d have to have a heart like a hummingbird.’

‘I’m telling you I can synchronise my heartbeat.’ Gently, with a smile, he took the stopwatch from Ianto’s fingers. ‘Listen.’

Ianto gave him cynical look, which came out mostly just as smouldering, and lay his head down on Jack’s chest. ‘Okay, prove it.’



9:

‘Ready, set...’ Ianto pressed down the antique button on his stopwatch and hurriedly dropped it down, ‘go!’

Jack tipped his head back and practically poured the Jack Daniels and lemon down his throat. When done, his canister slammed down onto the table, he glanced over to find Ianto still only halfway through his.

He laughed at the annoyed look thrown his way as, once more, he proved his mastery over his gag reflex was absolute and he could beat the clock any day.

A few more rounds and he’d really be able to show Ianto a thing or two…



10:

‘You know, Ianto, when you promised me an evening polishing brass, this wasn’t quite what I had in mind…’



11:

With a heaving gasp for air, Ianto collapsed down on the floor, his face red and flushed. He looked to Jack and frowned. ‘Stop the clock. Jack? Stop the clock!’

‘Huh? Oh!’ He fumbled with the button on top of the stopwatch. ‘Sorry.’ He blinked a few times and coughed to clear his dry throat.

‘How long?’

‘Um… about one minute twenty.’

‘Damn.’ Ianto wiped the perspiration from his forehead. ‘A few years ago I could stay that way for well over three minutes.’

‘I… I had no idea you were able to contort…. so limber… bendy… wow. That was… wow.’

Ianto narrowed his eyes, seeing Jack’s pupils so dilated they were almost entirely black. He wasn’t quite sure whether to be flattered or a bit freaked out.

‘So uh… you ever found it come in handy to… hook your legs over your shoulders like that?’

The look Jack was giving him told Ianto that if he hadn’t in the past, he certainly was going to find a use for it pretty soon.



12:

Ianto swallowed hard and licked his lips. ‘Yes, that was very impressive.’

‘Hey! That’s not fair!’ Jack gasped, so out of breath he was barely able to talk. ‘You know what it does to me when you graze your teeth there…’

‘Almost a minute,’ Ianto stopped the stopwatch, smugly.

‘Ianto, I swear…’

‘It’s nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of men suffer from premature ejaculation.’

Jack grabbed the stopwatch and threw it aside. He leaped off the desk he had been sitting on, grabbed Ianto around the waist and sunk to his knees. ‘You’re such a cheat. Time for some payback I think.’

Ianto’s trousers hit the floor.

‘A cheat? Me? However could you sugg… ooooohhhh...’

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