Title: Aftermath
By: Emufeather
Paring: Jack/Ianto & past Ianto/Lisa
Rating: PG
Summary: Just drabble on Ianto's thoughts after 'Cyberwoman'.

***

Ianto was shocked, to say the very least, when Jack called and told him rather abruptly that he was expected to show up for work on Monday. He stood there in silence listening to the message play on the answering machine. How could they want him back after what happened with Lisa? He was sure he was fired, and was fully expecting to be retconned, or possibly even killed within the next few days. Torchwood wasn't known for its sympathy to traitors. And he was a traitor, risking the whole of Torchwood Three just so he could try and save his girlfriend. But what sort of person would he be if he didn't do everything in his power to help a loved one? He'd not have let her be destroyed, like almost everything left over from Torchwood One had been.

Ianto started thinking about Jack, and grinned with sadistic pleasure as he remembered the look on Jack's face when he found out about Lisa. Jack thought he had Ianto wrapped around his finger, he thought Ianto was hopelessly in love with him. His face when he realised the he'd seriously underestimated Ianto gave Ianto some pleasure. The knowledge that he'd hurt Jack like Jack had hurt Lisa comforted him.

Lisa. The memory hurt, it made his mind and body ache. But, this was no time to feel pain, if he let even a little in, the rest would crash through his body, and he couldn't deal with that. He'd have to push the hurt from Lisa's death (and the guilt he felt over the people she killed) deep inside. Ianto had never been one for grieving, and was unsure how to start now.

How could he go back to work? Forced to face the people whose lives he'd risked, people who'd shot Lisa right in front of him. On the other hand, it's not like he really had a choice (do you ever with Torchwood?). If he didn't go back, there was a good chance they'd find his body floating in the harbour, an apparent victim of 'suicide'.

Somehow, the thought that he had to back to work comforted Ianto. With Torchwood he could just hide the pain, distract himself with the simple, routine tasks of making coffee, filing reports and the like. And even though everyday arriving at the Hub would remind him of Lisa, he could ignore it, hide it, just enough so he could get by.

But for now Ianto just stood there, listening to the other saved messages on the answering machine without hearing them, willing Monday to arrive. Wanting Monday to hurry up so there was something, anything, to take his mind off the pain.

***