Title: Throwing Fire At the Sun
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Ianto Jones/Tenth Doctor
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Table: 2, letter100
Prompt: 85, Sunshine
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own Ianto Jones or the Tenth Doctor. Please do not sue.

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Dearest Ianto,

It's much easier to write these letters to you now that you're here with me, by my side where you belong. There are times when I wonder how I could have left you behind on Earth when we were first together; now, that seems like the biggest mistake I've ever made.

I'm only glad that action didn't tear us apart irrevocably. I still tremble when I think of how close I came to doing just that, even though at the time, my actions seemed justified. I can't think how I could have been so utterly stupid.

But that's in the past now, and there's no use in looking back on it. All of that is over and done with, and our relationship has grown stronger because of it.

You've brought a light into my life that I never thought could be there, Ianto. There have always been small glimmers of brightness in my life, but I don't believe that every day was filled with sunshine and light until you became a part of me.

Oh, I know that sounds ridiculously romantic and even a bit silly. But it's the truth. You've brightened everything for me, made every day of my life an adventure that I can't wait to start on. I'd lost that eagerness until you became a part of me.

It's as though I've been able to open the shutters that have closed down my hearts for a very long time, and let sunshine come flooding in. That's probably a rather poetic way of putting it, but those are the only words that come to mind.

There's a fire in our relationship that I've never known with anyone else. A spark that ignites between us, a flame that I don't believe could ever be extinguished.

That flame has only flared higher and brighter since the first time we were together. It's as though each time we touch each other, there's more of a spark added to it; I almost believe that as it grows, it will eventually reach out and touch the sun itself.

In the ancient myth, Icarus flew too close to the sun and melted the wax that held his makeshift wings together. There's a part of me that's terrified we may fly too close to the sun as well, my love, and that our wings might fail to keep us aloft.

I know that I shouldn't be afraid of that happening. After all, our wings have been soldered in our own fire, the flames that have always flared up around us whenever we're near each other. I doubt that even the heat of the sun could scorch them.

But there's a small part of me that's utterly terrified of our wings losing their strength, and of the two of us plummeting to the ground amid those flames.

I'm trying to combat that fear, Ianto. I don't want to let it take hold of me. I want us to stay strong, to keep forging ourselves in the flames that spring up around us. We've walked through them several times, and even stood in the middle of them without being burnt to a cinder.

We've thrown that fire towards the sun since we first met, taking the sun's rays and reflecting them back upon ourselves as well. That's one of the many things you've done for me, Ianto -- you've helped me to come out of the darkness and into that bright sunlight.

I want us to continue throwing fire at the sun for a very long time, my love, until the sun loses some of its brightness in comparison to what we share. I think that's entirely possible; sometimes it seems as though we burn much more brightly than the sun ever could.

I've never been able to look at the sun before without seeing an image of the suns of Gallifrey imposed upon it. But you, more than anyone else in my life, has helped me come to terms with that.

I doubt that I'll ever completely get past the destruction of my home. But you've helped me to realise that my true home is wherever you are. It's not in one particular place; it's where my hearts are. And my hearts will always be with you.

Again, that's something that may sound ridiculously romantic, but it's the truth. I've been searching for a permanent home for far too long, when that's not something I've ever needed. All I need to make a home is to have the person I love with me.

You've given me the home that I never thought I could have again, Ianto. You've brightened my life with the knowledge that I'm loved, and that I have someone to turn to when I need them, someone who'll always be by my side.

All right, not always. But I know that even when we can't be physically together any more, that your love will still be with me, and that you'll always be in my hearts.

That fire that sparks between us will always be there. I don't believe that any flame burning so high and so strong can ever be put out; it's always going to throw itself at the sun, time and time again, flaring ever brighter even when neither of us are here to see it any more.

We'll keep flying higher into that bright sunshine the longer that we're together, my love. And the flames that surround us aren't going to burn us -- instead, they'll only serve to meld us together, and to make our bond even stronger with time.

Your loving

Doctor

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