Title: Brave Enough
By: bookwrm89
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Summary: Jack's thoughts while watching Ianto sleep.

***

Jack was watching Ianto sleep.

The blue eyes that had seen so much pain and suffering and horror were closed. His face was calm. Relaxed and beautiful and so damn young. Too young to have dealt with everything that had happened in his life. There was an innocence that clung to him while he slept. An air of fragility almost, that belied the strength and resourcefulness and bravery Jack knew he possessed.

Strength that helped him survive the devastation of Canary Wharf, where so many were lost. Strength that allowed him to face his team mates after almost causing their deaths. To be the rock that both Jack and Gwen leaned on after losing Toshiko and Owen.

Resourcefulness that helped him hide his half-converted girlfriend right under Jack's nose for the better part of a year. To find solutions to difficult situations, usually accompanied by a smart remark or two pointing out the obviousness of the solution but without making anyone feel stupid.

And bravery. Bravery that showed in everything he did. From facing down a pteradactyl, armed with nothing more than a bar of chocolate; to sacrificing himself in order to give a team mate a chance to escape; to facing down a Dalek, determined to protect the world at the expense of his own life.

Jack envied him that bravery. Sure, he threw himself into dangerous situations with a complete lack of regard for his own safety. But how brave is it, really, when you know that even if you do die you'll just come back to life again?

Ianto was brave in other ways too, subtler ways. The words whispered against Jack's skin before Ianto fell asleep were still ringing in Jack's ears. Ianto wasn't afraid to say what he was feeling. Whether the emotion was anger, frustration, sorrow, humor or love, Ianto jumped in with both feet.

Jack used to be like that when it came to love. Open and honest. Not hiding his heart in fear of being hurt, of losing yet one more person he adored. He used to think that falling in love was like cliff-diving. The anticipation as you got closer to the edge. The rush of leaving solid ground behind. The freedom of falling through the air, weightless, feeling the wind whistle past you. Then the plunge into the water, feeling the ocean surround you with loving arms. And breaking the surface, leaving you breathless and laughing for the sheer joy of being alive.

Watching Ianto sleep, Jack realized that he wanted that feeling again. Wanted it with every fibre of his being. Wanted it with Ianto. He knew it would hurt when he had to eventually say goodbye. But loving Ianto was worth the future pain. Because this time the pain wouldn't be partnered with the crippling regret of knowing he'd let love slip through his fingers.

Jack leaned down and softly kissed Ianto awake. As the sleepy blue eyes looked up at him, love shining clearly in their depths, Jack took a deep breath and dove off the cliff.

It was exhilarating.

***