Title: These Parts Won't Break
By: clockstopper
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Tosh/Owen with a little Ianto/OMC thrown in and Gwen and Rhys make appearances
Rating: R
Word count: 29,177 words
Summary: An accident with alien technology makes Ianto and Owen switch bodies. And, of course, the wackiness ensues.
A/N: I have to give huge thanks to rilestar for beta-ing this without even knowing Torchwood and a few other people for helping me through this after it went through many re-writes and false starts. You guys know who you are. This fic went through so much before I finally sent it off and now I'm really proud of it. I hope it's as enjoyable a read as it was to write.
Note: written for the Tardis Big Bang Fest
Warnings: Spoilers for pretty much the first half of season two and a few random things from other episodes. This kind of does an AU thing after Meat.
It starts like most hunts for alien technology do.
Only this time Gwen is sick.
"I'm fine, Jack."
But she's not fine, Ianto notes. Her face is puffy and her eyes are red and watery. She sounds stuffed up and scratchy and she's coughing so spectacularly that Ianto's surprised the whole hub isn't covered with mucus.
Ianto has the intense urge to sit her down on the couch, throw a blanket over her and make her some tea and possibly chicken soup, if she's good about it and doesn't protest.
Jack's frowning.
"You are not fine. You're... you're diseased. And icky."
Ianto smiles a little because only Jack would use the word icky and Gwen's glaring at him like he just told her she's disgusting, which he sort of did. Ianto doesn't think anyone would take that too kindly, even coming from Jack, who's all smiles and easy charm when he tells you you're gross.
Ianto remembers the incident with the exploding aliens.
"I'm not diseased. It's just the flu," Gwen says.
She's busy batting Owen's hands away. He hasn't stopped poking her with things since she walked through the door, hacking up a lung and he seems convinced that she's got some sort of alien flu.
Ianto thinks it's just his way of trying to get out of the recon mission because really, it's not like Jack needs all of them to go. Just him and Tosh and they can track down the weird energy signature and be done with it.
Owen's play at concerned doctor is hilarious to watch though.
"You're completely out of your mind if you think you're getting any work done today," Jack says.
"'M fine." She says, but she coughs and her voice is hoarse.
"Owen, tell her she's insane."
"You're insane. And also, you look like death warmed over."
Gwen glares at him.
"And you should be at home. Resting. Despite what you may think, we can function without you," Jack says.
"I'm not the one who has that delusion," Gwen mutters, before Owen sticks another thermometer in her mouth.
He sees Jack wince and he wonders if Gwen does. She doesn't look like she rightly cares, which she doesn't. Jack deserves all the flack he can get. They've all just been distracted by one thing after another because that's how it is at Torchwood.
Long and never ending and nothing ever changes.
But Gwen's so distracted by Owen shoving instruments at her that she doesn't see how the hurt lingers in Jack's eyes, just a little bit longer than he lets on before his lips purse and he's going into that 'I'm the boss mode' that Ianto finds hot and off-putting at the same time.
He may make fun of Jack because of his kinks, but Ianto knows he's got a few weird ones of his own.
"And in that vein... we can do this without you."
She's still glaring at him, but she's holding a piece of tissue to her nose to keep the snot from dripping out, so the glare looses some of its heat.
"We'll just take Ianto."
Ianto frowns.
"What?"
"Instead of Gwen," Jack says, like Ianto's two and he needs to explain it to Ianto in simple terms.
"But sir, I'm sure you don't need all of us for a simple reconnaissance mission."
Jack looks like he's considering it for a second before he's shaking his head.
"Safety in numbers. All we know about this is where it fell through from the rift. For all we know there could be a bunch of acid-spitting aliens."
"I think we'd have a sense of that. I'm sure acid-spitting aliens would show up on the CCTV footage," Owen grumbles.
Jack glares.
"You just don't want to go either."
"No, I don't. Ianto's right, you don't need all of us. You and Tosh should go. She's the brainiac with this stuff."
Tosh's face brightens at that, big smile on her face, eyes wide and bright.
"Be that as it may, it's standard operating procedure."
"Right, because we always abide by those."
Jack's glare intensifies and Ianto knows he's going to start acting like the big boss, pulling out the stupid arguments like, 'I'm the boss and you will obey me or else'.
As much as Ianto likes the way it makes the vein in his head throb— really, Ianto's aware that he's a sick, sick man sometimes—it can't be a good thing and going on missions when Owen and Jack are pissed at each other can become a bit tedious for everyone involved.
It's like two Alpha dogs pissing all over their territory, only messier.
"Alright, it's fine. We can all go, if it's that important to you." Ianto says.
Jack looks appeased by that, like he knows what Ianto is doing, like he knows Ianto's trying to smooth the ruffled feathers of everyone involved.
Owen's grumbling, but Owen always grumbles so Ianto takes it as a win that he's not outright refusing. He finishes checking Gwen over before he starts to put his kit away and hands Gwen three white pills.
"I'll get you some water," Ianto says lightly and Gwen smiles.
"Thanks, Ianto," she says and it seems that the fight has left her because she's snuggling close in the couch.
She should go home. She shouldn't have ever left, but Ianto's not one to make snap judgments on her life. It doesn't matter that she's been leaving almost as late as Ianto does ever night. Doesn't matter that she spends most of that time just sitting at her desk and staring at Jack's office.
She jokes that it's because she had to give the office up, but despite pretty much taking over as the boss while Jack had been gone, she'd never entered that office unless it had been absolutely necessary.
Ianto knows that. He had spent enough time in that office to know.
He comes back down and hands her the glass and she quickly takes the pills, downing them fast before they have a chance to burn in her mouth.
"Better go get ready for your big adventure," she says jokingly.
Ianto rolls his eyes.
"He's being particularly stubborn about this one."
"Yes, he is. You don't have any idea what that could be about, do you?"
Ianto frowns.
"None."
Gwen sighs and shakes her head.
"If you find out you'll tell me."
She doesn't even pose it like a question. She just says it like Ianto is definitely going to tell her if he finds out why Jack's so gung ho about bringing the whole team.
Not that he won't, because he more than likely will. Gwen has that way of just looking at you all big blue eyes and concern showing on her face that makes you want to tell her things - because otherwise it will kill kittens, or something.
It's annoying and Ianto would rather her not going around with that same look on her face for more than a few minutes.
"Sure. If I figure it out."
"Oh, you will Ianto. Jack tells you a lot of things."
No, Ianto thinks. Jack tells Gwen a lot of things. Jack tells Gwen that he can't ever die and that he'd seen the end of the world and that he gets scared sometimes. Jack mentions to Ianto that the coffee is cold and that it had seemed like a lot longer than just a few months.
Jack tells Ianto things when Ianto asks and even then he keeps it secretive, mysterious -like he thinks Ianto cares about mystery.
"Sure," he tells her, tight lipped smile on his face.
She smiles happily.
"Great. I have no doubt you'll figure it out."
He shakes his head and pats her hand gently.
It's going to be a long night, he thinks.
"So... this is exciting."
Ianto bites his lip. Jack is the one that demanded they all drop everything and come out here.
"You are the one that wanted to come out here, sir."
"Yes, well, Tosh hadn't really described the location all that well. Warehouse... this is quite a warehouse."
"It's actually a collection of warehouses."
"Yes, I was aware of that."
Ianto looks down at his tracking device. Tosh had tuned them all to the right frequency in order to locate the device they were looking for.
"Still, can't be too hard to find, right? I mean it's a big area to cover, but we've got our high tech gadgets. I'm told they're the best out there."
"Right, well, I'm sure we'll find it. Just a matter of finding it."
"You sound thrilled."
Ianto sighs.
"You know, you didn't need all of us to come out here. You and Tosh would have done just fine."
"And leave you and Owen in the hub alone?"
"We're able to stay away from each other. And it's not like we're that bad. When you were gone, we got to the point were we're okay with each other."
"Hmm, shoot each other - become best friends. Gotta remember that."
"You forgave him. He forgave me. We're not braiding each other's hair or anything, but we're not clawing each other's eyes out."
"Right, but I thought you might like getting out in the field. I mean you seemed comfortable with it. Like you'd been doing it while I was gone."
"When I had to."
"I just thought..."
"Please tell me you didn't bring me on this mission because you thought I felt left out of the group."
Jack smiles.
"Maybe I just brought you along because I like spending time with you."
"That would be vastly unprofessional of you."
Jack turns, leer on his face and his hand goes out and touches Ianto's stomach, fingers caressing there and Ianto tries to glare at him.
"Jack."
"What, you're the one that said that it only takes two people to find the device. Tosh and Owen are on it."
"That's not fair to them."
"I'm not usually a fair man. And it has been awhile."
"We're not having sex in some warehouse. I draw the line there."
"You draw lines, Mister Jones, and yet I seem to keep pushing them back."
Jack's fingers keep caressing his stomach, his hip and Ianto thinks for an insane moment about what it would feel like to have Jack's hands on his skin. Not that he hasn't before, but Jack's right, it has been awhile.
Since before he left, despite him being back for almost two months and with a date or two in between. Ianto just hasn't felt right having sex with Jack again yet. Nothing to do with Jack flirting with everything that walks by, because Jack did that before and Ianto knows.
He knows what their relationship is and he knows what their relationship isn't. He's always been secure about it, always knew that even when Owen made jokes and Gwen had looked and sounded like she was placating him and the only one that had really looked like she had believed was Tosh. He's fine with it. He likes it the way it is.
He just hasn't been interested in sex.
"Not this one Jack.," Ianto says, his hands pushing Jack's away.
Jack pouts and sighs, hands moving away from Ianto, body moving away from Ianto and it's not exactly what he wants, but what he wants and what he gets have always been two completely different things.
"Then I guess we better keep looking."
"Right, looking. Just like you wanted in the first place."
Jack glares at him.
"Yeah, I bet the alien artifact is right through these doors," Jack grumbles.
Ianto smiles.
"You were the one..."
"I know, I know, but it's kind of our jobs."
"Didn't say it wasn't. I was just merely pointing out that, you know, as the boss, you could have just sent Tosh and Owen."
Jack smirks.
"You are evil Ianto Jones."
Ianto smirks back at him.
"Didn't say I wasn't."
The thing Owen first notices about the device is that it's huge.
Really huge; too huge to fit into the SUV with all of them and Owen feels a certain amount of self-righteous triumph because of it. He plans to tell Jack that bringing all of them had been a mistake and this time there's nothing Ianto can say to mediate.
The meddler.
Owen hates it when he does that. Hates it when he uses common sense and somehow appeases Jack and himself, feathers becoming unruffled for a second so they can get the task done. Owen thinks he wouldn't mind it so much if Ianto did it for something Owen wanted.
The thing about Ianto is that Owen actually kind of likes the guy.
All shooting aside - because you're really not a member of Torchwood if you haven't shot or at least shot at another member of Torchwood - Ianto's a fairly decent guy. A little more uptight then Owen is himself, but still a decent guy.
"It's not giving off much energy," Tosh notes absently, as she runs her scans over it.
Owen snorts.
"Probably the alien equivalent of a garbage can."
Tosh rolls her eyes.
"I don't know what it is," she mumbles as she hits the button on her radio.
"Jack."
"Yes, Tosh?"
"Owen and I have located the device. It's in the back of the sixth warehouse down."
"Alright, Ianto and I will be there in a moment."
Tosh smiles and goes back to her scanning.
"Looks perfectly harmless."
"Lots of really dangerous alien technology looks perfectly harmless."
Owen glares.
"So what are you saying? This thing's gonna bring about the end of the universe."
"That's what I'm checking to make sure doesn't happen. In the meantime, I wouldn't touch it if I were you. At least until the preliminary tests are over with."
Owen frowns because his hand had been waving over the machine. He's been a bit hands-on when it comes to these things; he'd rather just rip the thing apart to figure out what it does.
But there are procedures, apparently, procedures that they usually don't have time for, because it's always about saving the world and who has time for rules when you're trying to stop things from blowing up?
They have time now and Tosh likes going by the book, she lives for going by the book and now she has the time to actually go by the book. She's relishing in it. Owen thinks she might be pulling out all the scans she doesn't normally get to pull out in these situations.
"Tosh, you don't have any idea what this is or what it does."
"I've only had a few moments with it. Give me time."
She sounds frustrated, but Owen doesn't really care. He doesn't want to be here and he wants to sit around being useless a lot less.
"Don't you think we should just..."
"Owen."
"I'm just saying..."
"Yes, I get it. You have to understand that I'm just trying to do my job here."
"Well you're job is long and boring. I don't want to be stuck in this bloody warehouse all night."
"You've got better things to do then, do you?"
"As a matter of fact..."
"Thought you said you weren't out on the pull anymore."
"I'm not. I just... sitting at home with a drink and some mindless television is better than being stuck out in the middle of nowhere."
Tosh smiles, small, but still rosy cheeked and it's like she agrees, but she's too much of a workaholic to really want to go home in favor of running through alien technology.
"I just have a few more tests to run."
"How long are those gonna take?"
"As long as it takes."
Owen and Tosh look over to see Jack and Ianto standing at the door to the warehouse.
"Nice of you to stop by," Owen says sarcastically.
Jack cocks an eyebrow.
"We were in the neighborhood. So... this is the alien technology that's been causing all the ruckus."
"Yes. I was just telling Tosh it looks harmless."
"And I was just telling Owen until we know that for sure, we shouldn't touch it."
"Tosh is right. Until we know that this thing isn't going to blast us with high doses of radiation or something, we don't touch it."
"Right, don't touch the unknown alien technology. That's as brilliant as 'don't touch the radiation canister'," Ianto says.
Jack frowns.
"I think its perfect advice," he grumbles.
Owen rolls his eyes.
"If you two are done arguing, I think we should figure out how we're gonna get this thing to the Hub," says Owen.
"Well, I can't figure anything out just yet. My tests are all coming back inconclusive, which frightens me a little."
"It's more than we usually have to go on," Owen says.
He wants to leave. He wants to throw this in Jack's face, because this has been a complete waste of time, even if Tosh has that intrigued look on her face.
"Quit trying to dive into this head first," Jack says.
Owen glares.
"I just don't understand why we're being this careful. We're not usually. So let's just throw this thing into the SUV and go back to the Hub so Tosh can run all the scans her heart wants."
"Because we can afford it. No one's trying to kill us. Why not take our time?" Jack says.
Owen huffs.
"Because it's unnecessary. I'm telling you - garbage can. Or maybe even shit storage with our luck and it's going to get all over us when we try and pick it up."
"Then you shouldn't be in such a hurry to pick it up," Jack says.
Owen glares.
"You're such a smartass, Harkness."
Jack smirks.
"I try."
He glares at Jack some more and he can hear Tosh's equipment whizzing and Ianto sighing.
"Looks too intricate for a garbage can," Ianto says.
"It is giving off energy readings. I just can't tell what they're for," Tosh says.
Owen rolls his eyes.
"This is ridiculous. You've run everything and nothing's come up. We just have to move it to the Hub to try things out."
His hand goes out to touch it because he's sick of it, sick of being so cautious and it's not like Ianto hadn't been poking around on it either so he touches it.
Something runs through him, quick and burning and he feels it behind his eyes before they close and he doesn't feel much of anything.
Owen feels himself wake up slowly, his hands, his body feels heavy, heavier than usual and he can barely hear.
He knows there are voices going on around him, but he can't honestly make them out. In the back of his mind, he knows that they must belong to Jack and Tosh and Ianto, but they're muddled.
"What the fuck?" His own voice sounds wrong to him and he's starting to panic.
"Owen, calm down."
He thinks its Jack. There's something in that tone, in the way the words are said that means it can't be Ianto and the pitch is all wrong for it to be Tosh.
"Calm down. You're telling me to calm down. I can't hear shit."
His eyes open and Jack is right there, lips pursed and Owen scrambles to sit up even though his body feels too heavy and even though he feels light-headed.
When he does, he sees Tosh, frightened look on her face and it's the same kind of look that Jack has, only intensified.
And then he sees it.
"What the fuck?"
"My sentiments exactly."
Because there his body stands, leaning against the operating room wall, only he's not in it and he's not speaking those words and that's not a look he usually has on his face. It's all wrong and it makes no sense and he thinks maybe he's hyperventilating.
"What..."
"Yes, what the fuck. You've said that. Repeatedly. Apparently, we've switched bodies."
He looks down at his hands, only they're not his hands. They're Ianto's hands. They're too delicate and pale and have one or two scars that aren't his own.
"Explains why I can't hear anything properly." Owen grumbles and he starts to laugh because of course, of course he's switched bodies with Ianto.
It makes complete fucking Torchwood sense.
"It's not that bad. You're just not used to it," Ianto says, shrugging.
And of course, he's used to it. His ears are fucked from Torchwood London and the Battle of Canary Wharf. Not to the point where he can't hear at all, Owen knows this, but he's also Ianto's doctor and he knows that Ianto doesn't hear as well as he had before Canary Wharf.
In his earlier years, he would have questioned it. Questioned Jack's decision to let Ianto join Torchwood Three when it's clear that he's still a little messed up from before, medically and probably emotionally.
But Owen had been with Torchwood for a few years at that point. He'd met Tosh. He'd met Suzie. He'd known Jack wasn't completely right in the head. So of course, even with his messed up hearing and somewhat shadow past, Ianto had been allowed to join.
And there had been the way Jack had stared at his ass that first day.
"Right, not used to it."
"You'll get used to it. Then it's just ringing."
"Wow, you two are taking this surprisingly well," Jack says.
"I'm freaking the fuck out. I'm stuck... I'm stuck in Ianto's body and I'm freaking the fuck out so just... don't think I'm not."
"What he said," Ianto drawls.
"Stop talking," Owen says.
Ianto frowns.
"You think I like being in your body? You think I'm overjoyed at the prospect of staying like this?"
"We're not staying like this. Tosh is going to fix it."
But Tosh looks down, face shadowed and she's not looking directly at Owen.
"What?"
"The machine... it's not giving off any energy anymore. In fact, it's completely dormant."
"So?"
"So I'm not entirely sure that this can be fixed as quickly as we all would like. I mean, I still don't have the first clue of what it is."
"It's a machine that switches bodies, Tosh," Owen says.
"Well I can see that," She grumbles.
"There can't be that many devices that switch bodies."
"Yes, because we know all the devices in the entire universe."
Owen growls, but it doesn't sound the same. It sounds completely off and it's because Ianto's voice is too light, not enough rasp to it and it actually hurts his throat to do so.
"There's got to be something."
"Once Tosh figures out what the hell this thing is, then we can start coming up with some solutions. Until then... make the most of it."
"Make the most of it? Make the most of it! You're completely fucked in the head, Harkness, if you think for one second that I'm going to make the most of this."
"Yes because overreacting is going to help," Ianto says.
"Helps me."
Jack sighs.
"Look, let's not make a bad situation worse. Yes, this is... this is bad. I'm not going to deny that, but Ianto's right. Overreacting is not going to help. Just take a minute to cool down, go home and relax."
"Home? To a place that doesn't have any clothes that'll fit me."
"It's comfortable. It might calm you down."
"Because sleeping in a suit is going to calm me down."
"We can go back to my place. I know you have a change of clothes here."
"You're place is a dump."
Ianto frowns.
"It's not that bad. Besides, you were talking about clothes. My place has my clothes."
Owen glares, but Ianto's right. Ianto's place does have all his clothes and he doesn't bring a change, which means that staying in the Hub isn't an option.
He feels Jack clasp a hand on his shoulder and it's weird to still not be hearing completely right and to be feeling Jack's hand on his shoulder in a different way.
He'd be thinking about it in a completely medical-study sort of way if he weren't so freaked out.
"That settles it. You'll go home with Ianto and then come back in the morning refreshed and hopefully not sounding like a drama queen."
Owen glares.
"Right, because a good night's sleep will keep me from remembering the fact that I'm stuck in someone else's body."
"Maybe not, but the shrieking is going to get on everyone's nerves and don't be surprised if Myfawny attacks you and no one comes to your rescue."
Owen snorts.
"Right, you'd let this body get mauled by a pterodactyl."
Ianto's eyes widen.
"Alright, well, now that that's settled. Let's go."
He grabs Owen's arm — or his own, depending on how you think about it and Owen doesn't even really want to think about it — and yanks him about. Owen thinks that maybe they should do a few medical tests - it's his prerogative as a doctor - but he feels kind of weak and Ianto's dragging him, stronger than Owen would have thought and that's probably because he works out.
He guesses he can take comfort in the fact that he's the stronger one — even if he's not exactly himself at the moment.
Owen looks at Ianto's closet and drawers and sighs.
"This is wrong on so many levels," he mutters.
Ianto's glaring at him. He can feel it and he turns around to see it and it's so wrong, seeing himself glare like that at himself and it makes Owen's head hurt.
"This needs to get fixed. Fast."
"Well you're not going to here any arguments from me," Ianto says.
"At least I can hear properly."
"See, I told you it wasn't that bad."
"Yeah, well, you're the one with the fucked up hearing."
"Yes, bombs going off around you will do that. You know, as we tried to defeat the Cybermen."
"How could I forget? We had a spectacular recreation of it with your girlfriend."
Ianto glares.
"Wash room's through there, if you want to tidy up."
"Right, see you naked. Thanks, but I'm not Jack. Don't feel the urge to sneak a peek."
Ianto rolls his eyes.
"You're not seriously going to hold off on bathing until this thing is resolved, are you? Because if I have to hold you down and sponge bathe you, I will. There's no way you're walking around in my body smelling ripe."
"You want me to actually shower. That's just..."
"I'm not saying we should have sex, unlike some people when faced with an apocalyptic disaster."
"You're not going to let that go," Owen mutters.
"No, I'm not. And I'm also not going to let you get away with not bathing. So just... suck it up and think about it... medically or something."
"Medically?"
"Whatever gets you through the day."
Owen sighs and he doesn't know what he's going to do. Ianto's right, though. Eventually, if this takes longer than anyone would like, Owen's going to have to shower.
He's going to have to shower while in Ianto's body and this is something he had not expected in his life, but it's Torchwood.
Anything can happen.
"Your place is still a dump."
Ianto glares.
"Whatever," he says, snorts and walks out of the room.
His bedroom is attached to the bathroom and Owen doesn't know how it's possible that they've all got really great places and Ianto lives in this cramped shit hole. It's not like Jack doesn't pay them well, given his own place.
When Owen had grumbled about the couch pull out and Ianto being a cheap bastard, Ianto had just shaken his head and said that this had been his first place, after London and the horrors there and it had been his first place that he'd gotten alone.
Attached, he'd said, and Owen had just snorted and said that Ianto should get attached to some place bigger.
He tries not to think about it. Tries not to think about the fact that he's stripping and he's in Ianto's body, wearing Ianto's clothes and when he looks in the mirror, Ianto's too young looking face stares back at him.
It's quick, perfunctory and his eyes stay forward the whole time. He just stands under the water and lathers himself, not looking and certainly not thinking about how he's naked and its Ianto.
He's seen Ianto in certain states of undress, but medically, because Owen is his doctor and things like that happen sometimes.
Doesn't mean he wants to see Ianto's goods.
He quickly wraps a towel around himself and he can't help it if he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Not much in the way of muscle and Ianto's always been weirdly pale. Not like Owen-pale and Owen knows that he looks really white sometimes.
Ianto has color in his skin, pink and healthy, but he's not at all muscled. He's not flabby, not by a long shot, but it's not like Owen's arms and torso, neatly defined by what people might call too much exercise for how much time he spends at work.
Owen frowns and he sees it reflected on Ianto's face, which looks more like a pout than a frown and Owen shakes his head before walking out of the bathroom.
He sees the suit lying on the bed and shakes his head.
"Fuck that," he says and he walks over to Ianto's closet.
There's suits. Nothing but suits. Owen knows he owns something else, something better and less restrictive and he remembers Jack talking about a stalker in tight jeans and then Ianto showing up.
He knows Ianto must own a pair.
He rummages through Ianto's drawers until he finds them, neatly folded and organized by color and Owen wants to laugh at that and he makes a note to make fun of Ianto because of it later. He pulls out a pair, one of the darker ones and he looks for any shirt that's not a button up, which takes another few minutes of looking. He grumbles the whole time.
Owen sighs and puts on some shoes, easy slip-ons because he's still not used to these hands and his feet are bigger, and walks out of the bedroom to the small area Ianto calls a living room.
"What are you wearing?"
There's a scandalized look on his face, now Ianto's face for the duration of this whole thing, and it's quite odd to see.
"Clothes?"
"You're wearing jeans."
He looks down and he had noticed that. He'd had to shuffle around in Ianto's closet to find anything that looked remotely comfortable.
"Yes?"
"Go in there and change."
"Why?"
"Because you can't wear jeans to work."
"You are."
Owen watches as his face turns into a glare and his lips purse and Ianto looks so pissed off in his body and it's just all very weird.
"That's because you don't own a single suit. I, on the other hand, do. I even laid it out for you."
"You cannot expect me to wear a suit."
"I can."
"Ianto."
"Owen."
"I'm not wearing a suit."
"It's not really you wearing a suit. It's my body wearing a suit. Now go put it on."
"I have to walk around in it all day. I have work to do. Work that involves me running around all day and for my life and I don't want to be doing that in a bloody suit."
He frowns and opens his mouth a few times like he's going to protest further, but eventually he just crosses his arms over his chest and glares.
"Fine. Wear jeans. See if I care," he says, throwing up her arms.
Owen takes time to get freaked out by the fact that it looks like he's throwing a hissy fit before smirking because he won and Tosh is going to get a kick out of seeing Ianto out of his suit.
Jack might too, but Owen really wasn't want to think too closely about just how much out of Ianto's suit Jack has seen him.
There are just some things a person doesn't want to know.
Ianto's still scowling by the time they make it to the Hub and Owen's done trying to convince him that it's fine that he's not wearing a suit.
"You don't need to wear one all the time. There's not a dress code for Torchwood."
"It's professional."
"So you're unprofessional for a few days. It's not like Jack's gonna care. Although he might be sad that he doesn't get to stare at your arse all day."
Ianto gives him a questioning look.
"You think you solved that problem by wearing tight jeans. You do know that I wore those on my first and only real date with Jack. Though they weren't on for very long."
"Ack! Please. I do not want to hear it. Words cannot express how much I do not want to hear it."
Ianto smirks for the first time that morning.
"You're the one that brought it up."
"Well, I'm sorry for that," Owen says, as he opens the door.
They walk through it to the hub, Tosh already at her computer, tapping away at the keyboard, Jack are talking in hushed whispers next to her desk. Neither of them seem to notice.
"Gwen stayed home then," he hears his voice say, but he's not the one saying it.
Jack and Tosh look over at them, Jack's eyes widening and Tosh smiling invitingly.
Owen looks over at Ianto, looks over at his body and he can't believe Ianto wore that, blue cardigan and Owen's loosest fitting pants, but then again it had been Owen's spare set of clothes, though he really has no idea how the ended up in the Hub. He's also fidgeting and looking very nervous. Owen can't remember the last time he'd been nervous, but there was his body, look insanely out of place and fidgety and Owen knows why he never looks nervous.
It's not exactly a good look on him.
"What, stop staring. It's not like you all didn't know this had happened."
Tosh gives him a nervous smile.
"We're not staring, Owen."
Owen grumbles and walks up to the desks, Ianto following behind. Jack loses the deer in the headlights look and smirks, actually smirks, which is just a slight bit unsettling.
"I guess I should make it casual Fridays or something," Jack says.
Owen knows that look. He's seen it work on many a person, that charming smile with those glinting eyes and Owen feels a little weird being on the receiving end of it.
"Jack, remember, I'm over here."
Ianto sounds pissed and Owen's thinking that maybe he should have worn the suit because Jack's looking at him in a way that Owen doesn't want.
It's nice that Tosh isn't looking at him like he's a piece of meat. She just smiles and nods her head. A soft, 'you look nice, Owen', before scuttling back to her desk with her scanner to upload the results into her computer.
"Right, well, you should have told him not wear such nice clothes," Jack says, eyes focused on Ianto now.
Ianto rolls his eyes and walks over to Jack, hand lying on Jack's chest and it's weird because something like that in his own body would have been alright, but now he's in Owen's body and to Owen it doesn't look as innocent as it should.
"I tried," Ianto says and his fingers start rubbing at Jack's chest and Owen's eyes go wide.
It's like he doesn't even know what he's doing and Owen's seen him do this before, in his own body, but that's Owen's body stroking at the boss's chest and Owen sees the exact moment that Ianto realizes that as well.
He jumps back, still oddly graceful despite the fact that he's jerking back and Owen's never been that graceful about things. It doesn't even look like Ianto's having the mini freak out that Owen knows he is.
"He insisted on going his own way," Ianto grumbles, before stomping off
Jack frowns, looks down at his chest for just a second, not even a second really and no one would ever really have noticed except Owen had been looking, Owen had been super aware of it all.
"Right, well, I guess that means we're getting to work," Owen says.
Owen can feel eyes on him, heavy and never moving.
He'd be freaked out if he wasn't in the hub. There's only three people that could be staring at him and he's got a feeling he knows who the culprit is.
He turns to look over at Jack's office. Jack's talking to Tosh about something. She's dominating the conversation like Owen knows she can, talking fast and in words no one but Tosh can really understand. Jack will tell her to dumb it down, eventually.
When he's done staring at Owen, burning holes into Owen's back.
The thing is, it's not Owen's back. It's Ianto's back and Owen has to wonder if he stares this much everyday or if today's special.
If it's not, Owen doesn't know how Ianto deals with it everyday.
He sighs, because really, he can't take much more of this. He gets up from his chair and stomps over into Jack's office, feet louder than he's used to and it seems to startle Tosh because she jumps a little.
"We need to talk."
"Do we?" Jack says, fake innocence in his voice.
"Yes, we do." Owen says as strongly as he can.
"I guess I'll just get back to work then. I'll keep you updated if anything changes or develops."
She rushes out, smile on her face as she passes by Owen. He gives her his best smile or at least he thinks it's his best. He's not really sure that it translates on Ianto's face.
"So what is it you wanted to talk about?"
"Oh, don't play innocent with me. It doesn't exactly work on you."
"I don't know..."
"Cut the shit, Jack. You're staring at me and it's fucking unnerving."
"I'm not..."
"I said, cut the shit. I'm not stupid, you know. I know you're shagging. And that's fine. Who I am to be judgmental about it? I certainly don't give a fuck who you're shagging in your spare time, even if it is Ianto. It's not like I haven't had my fair share of office romances.
"But I ain't him. So stop staring."
"I don't mean to. It's just... you look like him, is all. Sorry for staring," Jack says.
He looks a bit flustered, eyes not meeting Owen's even for a second.
"Well of course I look like him. I'm stuck in his body, after all. Tosh anywhere near a solution?"
"Seeing as she's only had a day or so to try and figure it out..."
Owen sighs.
"This is going to take forever."
Jack purses his lips.
"It's going to be fine. We'll figure this out, okay. Tosh says the machinery isn't that complex."
"Which means she doesn't have a clue how to fix this. Tosh likes technology that's complex and tricky."
Jack smiles.
"Doesn't mean she won't figure it out."
Owen bites his lip.
"Yeah. She'll figure it out."
Ianto sits and listens to Tosh go on and on about the device.
Big words and phrases that mean she has working knowledge of it, because Tosh has working knowledge of everything, but her eyes say she has no idea what the hell to do.
Ianto feels for her.
"So we're stuck?" Ianto says.
"I didn't say that. There has to be some way to re-power it. It's just going to take some time to figure it out, is all."
Owen then goes on and on about the physical and medical aspects. They're healthy, he says. Everything reads right and their blood work says that they're exactly the same. No ill side-effects have happened from them switching bodies. It's just minds.
"And I'm not really qualified to go into all that. I slept through my psychology courses, mostly."
"But you guys are fine," Jack says.
"Pretty much. We're as healthy as we were before. Maybe some elevated blood pressure, but stressful times. There's no difference in centers of gravity, though Ianto may have some trouble walking. I honestly haven't noticed."
"Why?"
"Because I'm shorter than I used to be," Ianto says.
Owen glares.
"Something like that."
"You look ridiculous in that white coat," Ianto says.
Owen pulls his lab coat closer to him.
"It's my coat. I feel comfortable in it."
"I'm surprised you can even put it on."
"Are you calling yourself fat?"
"No, I'm just saying... I'm bigger than you, is all."
Ianto can see that it's a bit more snug than usual, but Owen just glares at him some more and doesn't take it off.
"Well, as fascinating as this all is... let's get down to the real facts. No more field missions until this thing is sorted out."
"What?"
"Are you crazy? Have you completely lost your mind?" Owen says.
"This is a stressful situation. Elevated blood pressure may be the first of it. You don't know that this isn't going to lead to adverse side effects in the long term," Jack says calmly.
Ianto hates it when Jack's calm like that. So does Owen.
"Oh, that's complete shit. I just gave you the complete medical breakdown. And Tosh told you..."
"That she has no idea exactly what this thing is for. For all we know it can lead to something dangerous."
"You're serious," Owen says incredulously.
"Yes. I don't want to take the chance that one of you is going to do something wrong because you have a sense memory of doing it right and getting one of you killed and the other one stuck in another body. So until this is over, you're Hub-based," Jack says.
Ianto can't argue with his logic and Owen fumes and looks like he can't argue with it either.
"Fine."
"Yes, fine," Jack says sternly.
"Fine!" Owen yells and he stomps off.
"For some reason, that just doesn't look right," Ianto mutters.
"You must not be seeing it from our end."
Gwen finds out like this.
"Ianto, love, can you get me some coffee? I haven't gotten much sleep lately."
It's her first day back, the second day they've been stuck like this, because Gwen can't take more than two or so days off of work. No one's told her of course and she'd given Owen an odd look when she'd seen him, thinking he's Ianto in jeans.
Of course, he is stuck in Ianto's body and he is in jeans.
But seeing Owen's body get up and take her mug off her desk seems to unnerve her.
"Owen."
"Hmm," Owen says.
"Okay, what's going on?"
Ianto turns around, confusion on his face.
"What?"
"What's going on? Ianto's dressed in jeans and Owen's getting coffee and being nicer and Ianto's sitting at Owen's desk. Have you all completely lost it? I've only been gone three days."
Owen snorts.
"Sorry, no one told you."
"Told me what?"
"That the tea boy and I switched bodies."
Gwen's eyes widen.
"What?"
"That device that Jack had us hunt down the day that he sent you home early. Owen and I touched it and it switched our minds," Ianto says.
"What?"
Owen sighs.
"It's really not that hard to understand, Cooper."
"You switched bodies."
"Now she's getting it."
"Owen," Ianto says.
"It's just a lot to take in."
"Oh, it's a lot to take in for you. You're not the one stuck in someone else's body."
"No, I'm not, but..."
"So shut it. Ianto's in my body, I'm in his, let's not make this harder than it has to be by talking about it."
Gwen frowns and Ianto's glaring at him and even Tosh is giving him that look that means she wants to call him an ass, but she never does. He thinks even Jack is probably in his office listening to the whole thing and getting pissed off.
"What?" Owen snaps.
"It's just... it's weird, listening to Ianto's voice spouting out Owen words."
"Well, get used to it. If I'm stuck in this situation, I'm gonna try and live my life exactly the same as I usually would."
Ianto' still glaring at him, but he walks off to fill up Gwen's mug with coffee.
"See, he's going about his work like usual and nobody's up his arse about it. Probably because all he does is bring people coffee."
"Owen," Gwen says, disapproval in her tone.
Owen doesn't care.
It's been a week.
Ianto is going out of his mind, really he is. He's been thrown out of his own home, Owen claiming that it would just be easier if they switched because he's not hauling all Ianto's shit over to his own. Ianto had tried to protest, but Owen had just said he's getting the shit end of the deal by living in a rat hole.
Ianto would have punched him if it hadn't meant effectively punching himself in the face and Ianto doesn't want to think about the kind of therapy that would require.
Torchwood should really have a fund for this kind of stuff. Or at least an onsite therapist.
So he's stuck in Owen's home that has nothing in the refrigerator but beer and something Ianto doesn't even want to touch because it looks like it may have curdled. On top of it, Owen's place is big, spacious and Ianto feels weird having room.
And Owen's a slob. It's odd, because he doesn't really have that much stuff. Certainly not enough to fill up his place, but it's all scattered everywhere and Ianto feels like he's living in Owen's filth.
He doesn't want to think about the state of affairs in his home. He just hopes the fact that they've been spending more time at the Hub than usual means Owen hasn't had a chance to make a mess of things.
Getting used to Owen's body has been easy. It's not like he had been turned into a girl and Owen went over the problems that would have arisen if that had happened. Different centers of gravity and breasts and hormones and Ianto's glad at least it's a male body he's stuck in.
Even if he's shorter and his hands feel more calloused and food doesn't taste the same to him.
Owen's right though, which is something Ianto doesn't want to admit out loud. He's right about doing what you want. He's been doing what he wants while Ianto goes around being considerate of all things.
Well, not anymore.
He looks through Owen's wardrobe and he's actually surprised that there are no suits. Not one and Ianto knows from Owen's file that he used to be a doctor at a very prestigious hospital and he knows Owen used to own suits.
He knows about Katie too, though, even if Owen doesn't know he knows about that, so the whole thing makes a certain amount of sense.
Still, Ianto feels attached to his suits. They're him. They connect him to his dad in an odd way and they represent who he is now, as a grown up. And just because Owen seems to be totally against it, it's not his choice.
So he breaks into his own place when they're out on some mission and Ianto's been told to stay back. He tries on all his suits, feebly hoping one fits, but they're all too big.
Except for one.
Ianto bites his lip because it's an outdated one. One that's ugly and brown and makes him look old fashioned, but his dad made it for him back when he was younger and he's just never been able to part with it. And while it's a bit restrictive, it fits.
So he takes it off and holds it over his arm and goes back to Owen's place.
If Owen can do whatever he wants in Ianto's body, then Ianto can do whatever he wants in Owen's.
It's only fair.
And that's how he shows up to the Hub the next day.
"What the hell are you wearing?"
He makes a show of looking down at himself, eyes curious and innocent like he doesn't know what Owen's screaming about.
"It's a suit."
"Yeah, I can see that. Why is it on my body?"
"You can't expect me to stand in the information center in jeans and some print t-shirt, can you? Besides, I'm just trying to live my life normally. Isn't that what you're doing?"
"Oh cut the shit. You don't even stand up there anymore. You're always down here in the hub, playing at being a real member of this team."
"I am a real member of this team."
"Right. That's a laugh. Office tea boy is what you are. Said it once and I'll say it again."
"Owen," Gwen says.
They both look pissed, her and Tosh, but Gwen looks surprised. Like she had thought he and Ianto had made it passed the bickering stage.
Tosh just looks disappointed.
"No, it's alright Gwen. If he wants to be a pillock, let him."
"Oh, I'm the pillock. You're the one that's dressed me up like an idiot."
"It's just a suit. I'm trying to be professional."
"Professional. If you're trying to be professional than why is it the color of shit?"
"Because this is the only suit I own that would fit your stumpy arse."
"Stumpy?" Owen yells.
"Yes, you're short. And I wasn't going to spend good money on clothes for your body. Lord knows, I'd probably get stuck washing them even after I'm out of your body."
"I told you no suits."
"And I told you to fuck off."
Owen's glaring at him and they seem to be doing that a lot when they're around each other. Ianto just glares back.
"If you're trying to make a point..."
"I'm trying to live my life. Same as you. So just fuck off and go about your business."
He can feel Jack right behind him and it's weird that that hasn't changed. That he can still tell where Jack is in correlation to him and there had been a time when that thought had freaked him out, but it doesn't anymore.
"Maybe you should leave him alone, Owen," Jack says, voice steady and Owen just glares more.
"Of course you side with him."
"He hasn't bitched at you about wearing what you want to wear. It's just a suit, Owen."
Owen looks like he wants to protest and Ianto's really ready to hit him now, his face or not.
But then, he deflates, face going soft and he shakes his head and huffs. Ianto tries not to frown, but it's so uncharacteristic of Owen and Ianto wonders if he should be scared or worried about payback or something.
"He looks like an idiot."
"Yeah, well, desperate measures and all that. If you want him to look any better..."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Wear your fucking suits. But if you're gonna do so, then at least wear something decent."
"You don't..."
"I do. I just... they're in storage. I'll, um... show you them."
Ianto frowns.
"Thanks."
"But you've got to change out of that suit. It's ugly."
"My father made it."
"What was he blind?"
"Just show me the fucking suits, Owen."
Ianto spends his days up in the information office.
After giving everyone their coffee and listening to Owen go on and on about how terrible this whole situation is and how it's easy for Ianto because all he does is sit around and file paperwork all day. That Owen's the one being held back because Jack isn't letting him go out in the field anymore.
He's made one or more thinly veiled comments about that being because he's Jack's shagging partner.
That's when Ianto has to hide himself away.
At least he's in more comfortable suits. Owen had, as promised, taken Ianto to his storage locker, where he kept a whole assortment of things that he didn't even look at. There had been a dozen or so of them, nice and hanging and pressed still. Like they'd all been dry cleaned and then stowed away in this tomb of the past.
Owen had pointed and grumbled something before rushing out like just staying in there was suffocating him and Ianto gets that.
He remembers what it had been like to put away Lisa's things, his life with her.
"Hiding?"
Ianto frowns.
"Somewhat."
"Somewhat? You know Owen's an ass."
"I've been made aware of this fact before, Jack."
Jack smirks, leaning against the counter and Ianto's sometimes glad that he's got the equivalent of his own office.
"How are you feeling?"
Ianto frowns. He knows that voice, has heard Jack use that voice before with many people, himself included. It's his pretend caring voice. It sounds genuine and it's quite possible that it is, but sometimes Ianto wonders.
"Fine," Ianto says grumpily.
"Look, I know being in someone else's body..."
"Oh, you know about being in someone else's body, do you?'
"Well, no. At least not the way you mean," Jack says with a leer.
Ianto rolls his eyes.
"No, you don't. It's bad enough that my voice sounds different and I look completely different and I'm not me anymore, but everyone going around with their empathy is really starting to fucking irritate me."
"Are you done?"
"No, I am not done. I'm stuck like this. It's been weeks and Tosh hasn't figured it out yet. No offense to Owen or anything, but I don't wanna be stuck like this for the rest of fucking forever."
"Owen's body isn't so bad. He keeps it in great shape," Jack says jokingly.
"He's short," Ianto says sullenly.
Jack smiles.
"He's not that short."
"He's shorter than I am. He's like... short."
"Very eloquent. You know, you've been cursing a lot more as well. And while it sounds right coming out of Owen's mouth, I keep remembering that it's you in there."
Ianto rolls his eyes.
"You know, I think being in Owen's body has been messing with your head. You're starting to sound like him."
"Being in his body has nothing to do with how I think. It's purely physical."
"Physical, huh."
He knows that leer too. It's the leer Jack gets when he wants. Ianto's seen it directed at plenty of people, himself included.
"Yes, Owen explained it in the meeting. If you were paying attention."
"Right, all those things about bodily fluids and biology. Went kind of above my head."
"Really."
"Well, no. I understood it. Still... if you're stuck like that for awhile maybe it's best to get used to it."
"Get used to it? You want me to get used to being in Owen's body? How about you work on this faster."
"Tosh is working on it as fast as she can, Ianto."
"Well then, I guess there's nothing more to talk about."
Ianto goes to sit down at his chair behind the counter, but Jack grabs him. It's easier for him being in Owen's body. Jack has a lot of leverage on him and it's frustrating, just like the whole situation is frustrating.
"Jack."
"This is going to be fine, okay. We are going to figure this out. In the mean time I need you and Owen to stop yelling at each other and generally pissing each other off. I get that it's hard and no, I don't know exactly how hard, but it's hard. Just try okay."
"Jack."
"Ianto."
"You're not making things easier by keeping us cooped up in the Hub all day."
"So if I let you guys go out on missions, you think it'll be easier."
"I think it will keep us away from each other for more than four hours a day. It's a start."
"And if I do that, are you gonna try and make things easier around here."
"Jack."
"Are you gonna try?"
"Are you gonna let go of me?"
It doesn't seem that Jack's even aware that he's holding Ianto, that his fingers are rubbing and it's dull in this body— Owen's body not nearly as sensitive to Jack's touch as Ianto's own in is— but Ianto's mind remembers.
Ianto knows.
"Huh, maybe not."
"We could get a lot of weird stares."
"Would it keep you from freaking out?"
And Ianto knows that voice too, even if he's not sure how many others do. That's the actual caring voice, the one that's low and soft and breathy and like Jack's talking only to you. Like Jack's never talked to anyone else in his life but you, and Ianto's always loved Jack's voice, how sweet and smooth it could sound, how it could send shivers down Ianto's spine.
"I'm freaking out right now."
"Because I'm close to you."
"You shouldn't be."
"Does it turn you on?"
"Jack, stop."
He doesn't mean for his voice to sound as breathy as it does, but it just comes out that way, low and whisper soft and Jack's hand is trailing up his arm, barely there but still sending tingles down his spine.
"No one's here."
"I'm not really here."
Jack pouts and Ianto takes a deep breath because Jack always looks too good when he's pouting, blue eyes demanding to know why and Ianto doesn't even really have a good answer for it, other than he's in Owen's body and that should be enough.
It's never enough.
"Sure you are."
"No, I'm not. I'm... I mean I'm..."
"You're not Owen. I know Owen, okay and you're not him. You're Ianto."
"But I look like him. I mean this is his body."
"You think I'm harboring some secret fantasy to have sex with Owen and now that you've switched bodies, my mission can finally be complete."
It sounds ridiculous when he puts it that way.
"I don't want to. Not like this."
"I see you, Ianto. I don't see Owen. I'm not... Owen's great but he's like... it's not like that with him."
"Just with everyone else," Ianto mutters.
Jack frowns.
"Ianto..."
"No, look, I can... I can take the looking and the flirting and the possibility that you may in fact be in love with pretty much everyone you meet because it's fine. I know... I mean, you never asked any of them out on a date, so I guess I'm one up in the categories."
"More than one."
"And stop being charming. It's irritating."
"My charm is irritating?"
"Yes, very."
Jack raises an eyebrow.
"I'll try and work on that. In the mean time, if you know that... I mean, if you can take me looking and flirting and being in love with everything - which I think is a gross overstatement, just for the record - then what's the problem?"
"I can't do it when I know you're seeing someone else. At least when I'm with you, I know I'm the one that's got your attention. Even if it's only for a moment."
Jack bites his lip and Ianto wants to trace it with his finger, wants to brush Jack's brow line, but he knows Jack would take that like an invitation and he doesn't want to give Jack that in. Not if he can help it.
"I do see you, Ianto."
"How could you possibly?"
"It's in your eyes. They may be brown now, but they're softer than Owen's ever could be, more expressive than Owen lets his get. It's in the way you move, awkward because this isn't your body and you're used to being a bit taller, but there's still that grace that Owen never got and masked with swagger.
"It's in your voice, so different from Owen's, softer and even the vowels almost sound the same, but not quite. If you were to talk and I was to close my eyes, I'd swear it was almost the same."
Ianto takes a deep breath.
"That's..."
"Yeah, so, don't... don't say I don't see you, okay. I do. You're Ianto. You're not Owen."
"I just... this feels wrong, okay."
"Because you're shorter?"
Ianto rolls his eyes.
"Something like that. Mostly because this... this is Owen's body. He's not going around having illicit sex in my body and I wouldn't... I wouldn't want him to."
Jack smiles softly.
"Yeah, okay. I understand."
His hands stroke Ianto's sides a bit more before he back away, eyes a bit sad, but he's still smiling like he's going to obey Ianto's wishes, like he's not going to push anymore.
Ianto's grateful for that.
"Feel better, okay. We're going to figure this out."
Ianto nods.
"I know."
"So, why are we here?"
Ianto frowns and orders them some drinks. Owen doesn't even look at all surprised when Ianto gets his drink right.
"We need to talk."
"Hmm, we're not dating here, Ianto."
"I know that. Look, I just think that all this bickering should stop. There's no reason for it and it's not making this whole thing any better," he says.
He takes a sip of his drink and makes a face. It doesn't taste that good. He watches as Owen drinks his, face twisting up.
"Great. I can't even like my old drinks."
"It's not that bad."
"Tastes like tar."
Ianto frowns.
"We can switch."
"And drink your fruity shit?"
"It isn't fruity and look, this is what I'm talking about. This constant bickering."
"It's part of our relationship."
"Yeah, but we're taking it to new extremes."
He switches their drinks and Owen makes a face, but takes a drink anyway. Ianto can tell that he doesn't want to admit that it's good, but he can tell by the look on Owen's face.
"Well, this is an extreme situation."
Ianto frowns. He opens his mouth to say something when a girl comes and presses herself against him, bright smile on her face and Ianto frowns.
"Hi." She says.
"Hello."
"My name's Kristy."
"That's nice."
Her smile widens.
"You want to buy me a drink?"
"Not particularly," Ianto says.
She frowns, huffs a bit and Ianto's frown deepens as she stalks off back to her friends, pointing and glaring at Ianto and her friends start to glare at him as well.
"What the hell?'
"She was hitting on you, dumbass," Owen mutters.
"Why?"
"Because I'm a handsome bastard. Of course she was gonna hit on you."
"But..."
"It's not like you're giving off a vibe that says, 'Don't hit on me, I'm shagging my very male boss and I'm a huge fairy.'"
"I'm not..."
"What, gay? Exclusively gay? Yeah, there was Lisa. But after that spectacular display, I'm wondering how you landed her."
"I didn't..."
"She pressed her breasts against you and smiled and asked you to buy her a drink. She was hitting on you."
"But..."
"We're not going over this again."
Ianto frowns.
"I just... women don't usually hit on me."
"Yeah and women don't usually not hit on me. Don't understand that. You're a good looking bloke."
"Thanks." Ianto mutters.
"Yeah, well, you're cute in that kind of baby way."
"Baby?"
"Yeah, you look young. Sometimes it's funny to see you with Jack, because you know he's older than Father Time, even if he doesn't look it."
"It's not that weird."
"It's completely weird. And to think you're in my body, doing... things."
"We're not."
"What?"
"We haven't... I mean that would just be wrong. Having sex in your body. Besides, why tempt Jack like that."
"I wouldn't shag Jack."
"He's very dashing."
"You've said that. He's also Jack. It's fine for you to shag him, but that's..."
He trails off, doesn't finish his sentence and Ianto wants to push him, but he doesn't. He's surprised he's got Owen talking at all.
"He wants us to form a truce."
"Who? Jack?"
"Yeah."
"And like a good little boy toy, you've decided to make that wish come true."
"It's not like that."
"Right. Whipped."
"I'm not... we haven't had sex since he came back, if you must know. And before then he was... it's just been awhile."
Owen frowns.
"Why?"
"I just... I'm not sure. I haven't felt... comfortable about it in a long time. I just... I think he's right. I think that we shouldn't be fighting as much. It's not helping and it's certainly not making the environment in the Hub any better. We're both going through this, Owen. It's not just you and it's not just me."
"You're really not shagging Jack. I mean you said that thing about your pants that I do not want to think about. I just thought."
Ianto sighs.
"Are you listening to a word I'm saying? That's not the point right now."
"But you're a guy and Jack's... well let's face it, Jack's ready to shag at a moment's notice."
"That's part of the problem," Ianto says.
Owen frowns. He opens his mouth to say something and Ianto just wants him to shut it. He hadn't meant for that to slip out and he can't believe it did. It's not something he's interested in talking about it.
Luckily Owen is the type of person that doesn't like to talk about feelings, so he keeps his mouth shut.
"A truce."
"Yes, a truce."
"We don't have to skip around the Hub holding hands or anything, right?"
Ianto looks at him questioningly.
"Right. A truce."
"It could be a good idea."
Owen nods and takes another drink from his glass. He pulls a face, but Ianto knows it has nothing to do with the taste and more to do with the fact that he's drinking a drink he isn't used to.
"Or it could be the worst idea we've ever had."
Ianto walks over to him, frightened, yet with a determined look on his face and Owen frowns.
"What?"
"I need you to do something for me."
"Really."
"Yes, and, as much as it pains me to say this, I really need a favor from you."
There's a desperation in his face that just screams and Owen would spend a little more time messing around with Ianto's head about the whole thing, but he just looks so freaked that Owen takes pity on him.
"Alright, what?"
"I need you to go visit my mother."
"What?"
"Look, she's been going on and on about how I never visit anymore and I've already canceled more than once. I can't do it again. She'll literally hunt me down and kill me. And considering you're in my body..."
"Just tell her no."
"Oh, because I can just pick up the phone and dial her up and say 'Hello, mum, know I haven't been around for awhile, but I can't come this time because I've switched bodies with a coworker, so really, just another day at work'."
"Well, of course you don't tell her that. Just tell her something came up with work. It's a classic for a reason."
"I don't want to sit through another four hour lecture about how she's not going to live forever."
"So tell her you're sick."
"She'll insist on bringing chicken soup over. Either way you'll have to meet up with her sooner or later. And I can't just call her up because my voice isn't exactly the same anymore. It's your voice. She'll think I'm some creepy stalker."
"So, me going over to your mum's house when I know nothing about the woman is a better situation."
"You wouldn't be going alone. I'd go with you."
"And how the hell are you gonna explain that one?"
"Easy, you're a friend."
"And she's just gonna believe that."
"Why wouldn't she?"
"Considering her little tea boy is shagging the boss..."
"She doesn't know about that and can you please keep your voice down. I don't want everyone knowing about this."
"About you shagging Jack? The whole Hub knows about that."
"No, you idiot, about my mother and me asking you for your help and cooperation."
"Why? You think I'm gonna turn you down and make you look like an idiot?"
"Yes, I think you would because you're a bit of heartless bastard and like to see people in misery any chance you get, but I'm also hoping to appeal to your softer side, if you have one, by mentioning that I haven't seen my mother in almost a year and ever since my father died, she's been alone and that's not right for anybody. You have to know that better than anyone."
"I happen to like being alone," Owen says.
"Yes, you would, but this a fifty-three year old woman who lost her husband early in life and just wants to see her son... even if he is in another body."
"Right, because you're going to tell her that you switched bodies with a co-worker. Would be an awful lot of trouble to go through just to retcon her."
"I don't plan on it. Look, just... it would be a favor to me. Please."
"No."
Ianto frowns.
"Please?"
"No."
"But..."
"I don't want to, that's that."
Ianto glares at him, chin jutting up and Owen's never seen himself quite that pissed before. It's still very weird.
"Fine, be a heartless bastard. After I asked nicely. I knew that wasn't going to work."
"Yeah, yeah that's right, Owen's a heartless bastard. Owen kills puppies and kittens and eats small children for lunch. Owen's a piece of shit. Whatever. All I know is that come Saturday this body is going to be sitting in front of a television getting pissed while you're crying about how you can't see your mummy."
He looks like he might cry and he bites on Owen's thin lips and Owen wants to tell him to stop that. To just stop looking at him like that just because he's not ready to play the charade, to act like someone he isn't.
Truce or no truce.
"Fine. I understand your position and I won't make this any harder on you than it has to be. Just thought I might ask," he says and there's Ianto, ever the diplomat.
Owen would feel bad, but he's too busy freaking out about the fact that Ianto just asked him to pretend to be him and Owen can't wrap his head around that.
Family or no family.
"Well, that was mean," Gwen says.
"Can it, Gwen."
"Poor Ianto hasn't seen his family in forever."
"Yeah, well, a lot of us haven't," he says.
He looks over at Tosh, but she's too busy staring at the computer screen.
"Didn't know you had a family you cared about."
"Well, I don't."
"Yes, well, if you did I bet Ianto would do it for you."
"Because Ianto's perfect," Owen says sarcastically.
Gwen frowns.
"No, because he's a person."
On their next mission out, Owen gets shot a little.
It's just in the arm and it hurts like hell, but it's not that bad. It's the fleshy part really and the fact that everyone seems to freak out over it confuses him for a minute before he remembers this is Ianto's body. They're freaking out because this is Ianto's body and not because Owen got shot.
At least that's what he hopes because Jack's hands are all over him and Jack's never been this tactile before.
"It's fine. I'm fine. Piss off."
"Are you sure?"
"I am the doctor after all. I know this stuff. It didn't hit bone or I wouldn't be able to move it. It's fine."
"But..."
"Can we just get back to the Hub, please? So I can look this over properly."
He keeps pressure on it, blood trickling out slowly and it's starting to not hurt as much, but he still wants that shot of morphine that's sitting in his drawer in the morgue. Jack drives, tense and he keeps looking at Owen in the rearview mirror. Gwen's sitting in the front seat, glancing over her shoulder every once in awhile.
It looks like she wants to ask something, wants to ask if he's okay, but Owen just glares at her and she stays silent.
Tosh is the only one not looking at him, just looking at her computers and the stuff on them and the data she collected.
"We should go to the hospital," Jack says, when they make it to the Hub.
Owen rolls his eyes.
"It's nothing. The pain isn't even that bad anymore."
"Be that as it may, you're the doctor. You can't exactly stitch yourself up."
"Tosh can help me."
Tosh looks up, startled and she opens her mouth a few times to protest, but ends up shaking her head.
"It's fine."
"See."
"You're really gonna risk infection to prove that you're macho?"
There are the unspoken words behind it, the words that say it isn't Owen's body to be risking and he can't believe Jack's being so obvious about this.
"It's fine. I can help if he wants me too," Tosh says.
"That's not the point."
"No, the point is that this is my body for the duration, so if I go and get shot, that's my own business. It's not like Ianto's gonna feel it."
"Really. And I thought you didn't have feelings."
Owen turns around and Ianto's standing there, lips tight and pursed and he's standing there in Owen's body while Owen bleeds in his.
"Pain receptors. Everyone has them."
"I see you ruined my good leather jacket."
"Yeah, well, you can also see that I got shot."
"Hmm, I'm sure that you did something to deserve it."
"Great, I've been shot and he's treating me like a pariah," Owen mutters.
"It's going to scar if you don't do something about it," Ianto says.
"Right, I'm on it," Owen says, fake smile on his face.
He makes his way down to the operating table, Tosh following behind him. He can hear Jack saying something, he's not quite sure what, but he and Ianto are talking in heated hushed whispers and Owen really doesn't want to know anyway.
He pulls out a few gauzes and stitching materials. He hands them over to Tosh and she accepts them, holds them close while he gets out that shot of morphine he's been craving and shrugs out of Ianto's leather jacket.
It's hard to maneuver the needle just right with a bullet wound, but this isn't the first time Owen's had to do this. It is, however, the first time he's had to do it in a new body. Ianto's fingers are longer than his own and they're certainly less practiced, less calloused.
"I thought you said it didn't hurt that much," Tosh says.
Owen smirks.
"Well, any excuse really."
"You sure that's wise?"
"It's not like Ianto's allergic. It's fine. Besides, I have to numb the area if it's gonna be stitched up."
Tosh nods.
"Do you need help?"
Owen looks up.
"How good are you at those stitches I've been trying to show you?"
"Well, I'm not you."
"Ah, not many people are up to my level of brilliance, Tosh. Good will do just fine."
"Are you sure? I mean, I know what you said, but... it is Ianto's body. Is it fair to scar it like that?"
"It's gonna scar either way."
"I suppose."
Owen nods. He gets the needle ready for her, hands a bit shaky, but he gets it perfect for her and hands it off. She looks a bit uncertain for a second, before Owen presses it harder into her hand.
"If this hurts, it's your fault."
"Noted."
She does it right, though. Not as practiced and not with as much skill as a doctor, but Tosh never learns something wrong. Even if it's not perfect.
"You and Ianto seem to betting along much better," Tosh says.
She moves away for a second to grab a pair of scissors to cut the end of the thread.
"Somewhat. We've come to a truce, of sorts."
"That's good. This would be painfully more awkward if the two of you kept bickering throughout."
"It's still awkward, Tosh. And it's gonna be awkward until you figure out how to fix this."
"I'm trying," She says.
She bows her head a little bit, nervous and embarrassed and defensive.
"Not blaming you," He mutters.
"Really?" she says, bitter tone in her voice.
"Yeah, I'm not. I've looked over your scans and even though half of it is rubbish to me, I know you're not keeping us like this on purpose."
"Oh I don't know. This body's not so bad," She says, teasingly.
"Huh, this boyishly good-looking body with my natural charm... could be something, might be more successful out on the pull. Though I think Jack wouldn't be too happy with it. He's kind of attached to this body."
"It's not just about the body. When you love someone... it doesn't matter what they look like," she says shaking her head.
Owen snorts.
"You think Jack and Ianto are in love?"
She looks up at him.
"Don't you?"
"I think they're shagging, Tosh. There's a difference."
"Then you're not looking properly. There's love. I didn't think... I mean I thought you'd love it. Jack's proving your point."
"Because he's shagging Ianto?"
"Proves he's got some gay tendencies."
"Gay tendencies. Right. Because he's taking what's convenient?"
Tosh looks affronted.
"It's not about convenience, Owen. If that were the case, Jack would just go out and find someone at a bar. That would be a lot less messy. They... they have something. Maybe it's not love in the classical sense, but it's something.
"And when you have something like that... bodies don't matter. When you love someone, it isn't for their body. It's for what's inside. No matter what that may be."
She slaps the gauze over the stitches which came out alright, not perfectly straight but they won't come out Frankenstein-looking. She tapes the bandage in place and her fingers iron out the creases, lingering longer than necessary and Owen clears his throat.
She moves her fingers and looks up at him, smile on her face and moves away.
"I'm sure you get what I mean."
"No," he says.
She frowns at him and its half truth at best. He doesn't get what she's getting at, at least not personally. He understands the concept of course, but he thinks, 'I've loved the way she's talking about, but I don't like to think about it'.
Like with Diane, but he can't picture her any other way than how she had been, beautiful and elusive, dark brown heavy hair and curvy body. He doesn't know what he would have done if she'd stuck around, if she'd got mixed up in something like this.
Definitely Katie, but when he thinks of her all he can see is blonde hair and the helpless look on her face, the one that said 'help me, Owen' and Owen couldn't even do that much. He thinks maybe Katie. Maybe he would love her no matter what, an always kind of thing.
But he doesn't like to think about it.
"Well, it was worth explaining anyway. In the hopes that you'll cut Jack some slack."
"Right, cut him some slack."
"He's just worried."
"Right, worried."
Tosh sighs.
"You're impossible sometimes. I'm just trying to say that this could have been a lot worse."
Owen smiles.
"You're right. I could be stuck in Gwen's body. I hate to think what that would've been like."
Tosh smiles.
"I would've liked you just the same," she says, low and whispered before she walks away.
He takes a minute to process that, not that he hasn't known, not that he hasn't seen, because he'd have to be a complete idiot not to notice, but he just hadn't known. Not like this.
"Well, shit."
Ianto's sitting in the conference room, mug of coffee in his hands and he's thinking about how he should be on his way to his mother's right now, anticipating the home-cooked meal and the time around family.
The trip to his father's grave.
Instead he's at the Hub, because he's got nothing better to do and the apartment feels odd because it's not his.
It's not like he's the only one. Jack and Gwen are going over recent aliens sightings and activity and Tosh is trying to figure out how to make that damn machine work.
Owen hasn't come in yet.
"Are you sulking?"
Ianto looks up at the sound of his own voice and there's Owen standing in the doorway in the suit that Ianto had laid out for him that first day. The tie is crooked and the shirt is wrinkled, but it still looks pretty decent.
"What..."
"I talked with Jack. We're going to visit you're mother."
"But..."
"Look, I'm an ass. You know this. But I figure your mum shouldn't be punished for it."
Ianto glares.
"If this is some kind of trick..."
"It's not, alright? Look, I just... there are things that I want to... oh, I'm giving in, can't we just leave it at that?"
Ianto frowns.
"I guess."
"Good, so, are you ready?"
"Well..."
"You look fine. And she's expecting to meet me anyway."
"I can't go in there looking like a slob."
"You never look like a slob."
"Still..."
Owen sighs and rolls his eyes.
"Look, I put on a suit and everything, okay. I cleared it with Jack and you know how pissy he is about these things, though I suspect he let us go because it's you. You're fine, alright."
"If you'd given me some warning..."
"It was a last minute decision. I'm not completely heartless."
Ianto bites on his lip, brows knit and he shakes his head.
"I didn't think... no, you know what, thank you."
Ianto's smiling at him like he's just given him gold or something.
It kind of annoys him. It isn't like he's doing this without ulterior motives. He just doesn't think he can spend more time in the Hub with Tosh looking at him and he knows what she's thinking.
He doesn't really, but he can guess.
He watches as Ianto tries to brush his hair flat and look presentable, as though he hadn't looked presentable to begin with.
"Thank you," He says again.
Owen fidgets.
"Well, just, fair warning. Mothers have never really been my thing, so if I make a complete arse out of myself, well... you asked."
He watches as Ianto shakes his head and scrambles out of his seat and Owen rolls his eyes again. He's never known someone so excited to see their mother, except maybe Tosh.
Except he doesn't want to think about Tosh right now.
"I should probably tell you that it won't just be my mother. She invited a few other people of my family, just so you know. I should probably tell you a bit about them, so if they ask any questions, or if they try and talk to you, you'll be prepared."
"Knock yourself out," Owen says.
They make there way through the Hub to the lift. He sees Tosh smiling at him slightly, an encouraging smile like she's happy he's changed his mind.
"Well, my Aunt Sylvia will be there. I think she just had her hip replaced. Or something. I'm not quite sure. She has another grandkid so she's going to be talking about it nonstop, rubbing it into my mother's face."
"Have a nice time," Tosh says when they walk past, Ianto still rambling on.
She still keeps smiling at him and Owen's never been so glad for Ianto's rambling in his life.
He's surrounded by Joneses.
Joneses and Lloyds, apparently and dinner hadn't been at all like he'd expected. Most of Ianto's family is loud, boisterous.
Especially his mother.
She has Ianto's eyes, but the hair is different and so is the face. She'd spent a good five minutes carting his body around, showing Ianto pictures Ianto's already seen. She'd hugged the both of them tightly when they'd entered the house and just smiled and brought out albums.
Owen had tried to groan at the appropriate moments, being Ianto and all that.
Owen's found that Ianto looks exactly like his father, almost down to everything except the eyes and Ianto's mother never once lets go of Owen's arm as she shows them around the place.
It's nice.
"So he's your boyfriend, then?"
Owen frowns. He looks around desperately for Ianto. It's not that Ianto's mother doesn't seem like a wonderful lady. She does. She seems like the kind of lady that Owen could really like and he's beginning to see where Ianto gets his bit of humor. She's just as sarcastic as Ianto can be, but a lot more brash. A lot more outspoken.
Owen almost doesn't see how something like that happens, but then he guesses it has something to do with the fact that no one wants to end up like their parents.
Owen gets that better than anyone.
"What'd make you say that?"
He can't add the 'mum', no matter how much Ianto tells him to. It's too weird. He hasn't called anyone that in such a long time, not even his own mother.
He's having a hard enough time not making his voice sound rough, trying to get down Ianto's diction and word choice when all he wants to do is add a few wankers and bloodys to every bit of conversation.
That's not Ianto. Ianto uses big words and his accent is different and he can be a bit of a know it all, but he does it in a way that's so polite that you don't even notice that he's telling you that you're completely and utterly wrong about everything.
He's subtle and Owen doesn't do subtle.
"The touching. He seems very comfortable around you. And he's a bit of alright."
Owen smiles. It's nice to know his body can still be appreciated, even if it is by Ianto's mother.
"There's nothing there."
Because really, no. Forget the whole being in each other's body's out-of-body experience that they're currently going through here, Owen hadn't been interested before. Not that Ianto isn't good looking and Jack's right about the suits, but he and Ianto can be so oddly similar sometimes that it's just weird.
That and he has been in Ianto's body for three weeks. Add to that the fact that Ianto's actually in some sort of weird relationship with their boss that Owen can't even begin to define and it's all very screwy.
"Right, nothing there. I doubt that."
"I'm serious. Nothing at all. He's just a good friend. We work together. I'm sure I mentioned that."
"Because you don't have relationships with people you work with at all."
She's referring to Lisa. Ianto had said she'd met Lisa. That she'd liked Lisa.
"That's different," he says, because it has to be.
Ianto had loved Lisa. That all-powerful, all-consuming love that Owen's only ever heard about on the back covers of romance novels he's seen in markets.
Ianto's mother frowns, but shakes her head.
"Well if you say so. I still wish you had someone. After Lisa... well you must get lonely. And you hardly ever visit. It's always 'I'm sorry, mum, but I've got work', or 'something came up with work', or work, work, work. I just wish I knew that you weren't throwing yourself into it because of Lisa."
Owen bites his lip. He wants to tell her that he may have someone. Not to worry, because he's not really alone and he spends his nights with someone and it's not always work, but it's not his to tell.
He doesn't know what goes on between Jack and Ianto. Doesn't even know if they're really dating or if it's all just sex and more sex. So telling her would be a lie.
He settles for something easier and closer to the truth.
"I enjoy work. It's... it gives me purpose."
"You always say that."
Owen tries not to look shocked.
"Well, that's because it's true. And... the people I work with... they're my friends. I like them."
"Like Owen."
"Ours is a... complicated relationship."
She beams at him and Owen gives himself a pat on the back for how very much he sounds like Ianto in that moment.
"Well, there's something to be said for complicated."
Owen rolls his eyes.
"Not like that."
"Oh, you protest too much."
"I protest just the right amount."
She tilts her head and sighs.
"Well, at least you look healthy. And you sound fine, lighter even. Most I can ask for really."
"I should visit more."
He says it because Ianto's mother has that affect on him. He should visit more. Ianto should visit more, they should all visit the people they love more.
He thinks of Katie's grave and how it hasn't seen a flower from him in ages and the one time he'd run into her parents there they had scowled and looked at him like it'd been all his fault.
Not that he could blame them.
"You do what you can. I know you're a busy boy. I'm just glad you've found something. We were beginning to despair for you for a moment there, your father and I. I mean, we were so certain you'd end up in the family business and then... you always did what you wanted to do, I suppose."
"My job is important."
She smiles.
"I never thought that you'd do something that wasn't."
Ianto stops at a bar to get Owen a drink in thanks for going to see his mother. Owen thinks he should put up a fight, but it's a free drink and who is he to turn down a free drink, even if he had had a good time.
"I can't decide if your mother scares the shit out of me, or if I want to buy her a bottle of gin."
Ianto smiles and takes another drink. He shakes his head and sighs.
"She has that affect on a lot of people."
"She was asking if the two of us were dating. Also, laying on the guilt trip."
"Hmm, ever since Lisa she's been trying to set me up with people. She seems to think I'm lonely."
"Right, lonely. Fighting aliens can be a lonely lot in life."
"It's not bad."
"Shagging the boss will have that affect on someone."
Ianto glares.
"It's not like we're doing it every time we're alone."
"Right, you haven't done it since he got back. You've said that. And believe me, I thank you for the fact that you two aren't having weird kinky sex with my body."
"It's not a big deal."
"Well, do you love him?"
Ianto frowns.
"What?"
"Just... something Tosh said. That the two of you are in love. I just thought it was shagging."
Ianto shrugs, teeth worrying his bottom lip and he takes another big swig of his drink, eyes closing and he shakes his head like it'll shake off the burn.
"Sometimes I think we might be. I know that I... maybe not 'in love'."
"But you love him."
Ianto frowns.
"There's always been this... thing between me and Jack. Lust or love... hell, sometimes hate, doesn't really matter. There's something."
"So, no flowers and candies, then. I thought so. Tosh seems to think there's some great love story between the two of you."
"Tosh is a very dreamy girl," Ianto mumbles.
"Yeah."
"Maybe a bit dumb though, the way she stares at you."
Owen freezes.
"You did know that she's had a crush on you for quite sometime, right?"
"I..."
Because he can't get himself to say it. He's known, but he hasn't really known and apparently everyone else knew.
"You didn't?"
"I did," Owen says, because he doesn't want to look like an idiot.
"You should just tell her that you're not interested."
"Why, doesn't seem to stop her from dating."
"Yeah, because getting involved in dead end relationships is great for her. Tosh is great. She deserves someone who wants her."
"Yeah and that couldn't possibly be me."
He doesn't mean for it to come out as sarcastic as it does, but once the words have left his lips, he can't take them back. And Ianto's staring at him, frown on his face and Owen tries not to look at him.
"You really are an idiot."
Owen shakes his head and takes another drink from his glass.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because... because someone as brilliant and wonderful and amazing and beautiful as Toshiko wants you. She wants you! Though I can't even imagine why and you're either too stupid to realize it or you're an idiot."
"Aren't those two the same thing?"
Ianto shakes his head.
"Please be serious for one second. And stop drinking. My body can't handle alcohol like yours can."
"Are you calling me a drunk?"
"No, I'm calling you an idiot. Try and keep up."
"I'm not an idiot," Owen says.
He tries for sullen, but in Ianto's voice it just comes out whiny. So he pouts instead. He knows that looks good on Ianto's face.
"Yes, you very much are. For all the reasons I just stated and many more."
"So what if Tosh wants me. She's my friend. I shouldn't take advantage of that."
"Yes you very well should. She's great and she loves you. Do you have an idea how many people in the world would kill for that? And you can't tell me that some part of you doesn't love her too."
"In a completely different way. She's a friend. I'd give my life for her, yeah, but anything else would be too complicated."
"Such is the way of life."
Owen scowls and he doesn't care if that doesn't look good in his body. He hasn't had a decent scowl since the stupid alien technology did this to him and if anyone deserves an Owen scowl at this moment, it's Ianto.
"There's always the chance that I won't love her as much, or I'll screw it up, as I've done so many times in the past and I'm rightfully entitled to think it'll happen again. She doesn't deserve that. No one deserves that."
"Yeah, there's also a chance that you're a complete and utter wanker that thinks he doesn't deserve love or something. There's also a chance that tomorrow we'll meet some alien race that brings about the apocalypse. There's always something, Owen. What makes life worth living is taking that chance."
"Oh, right and what about you, huh? What about your chance? What about Jack? Mister 'I haven't slept with him since he got back'. What about the opportunity you're missing there? I'm scared of hurting someone and you're scared of getting hurt so you tell me who's the bigger wanker of the two of us."
Ianto purses his lips, fingers trailing across the glass that's in front of him. Perhaps a drink hadn't been the best idea in the world, but Owen had thought it would just be a few shots and some mind-numbing conversation, maybe hitting on some good looking women.
He hadn't been prepared for this.
"Well, I guess that makes us both idiots, then."
Owen smirks and he watches as Ianto picks up his glass and takes a big swig from it, face contorting from the taste and burn afterward.
"Yeah, right. Bloody good company we make."
Ianto has reached new levels of avoidance.
He's just grateful for the archives and how a person can get lost in them. How they're massive and never-ending and there's always a reason for him to be down there, looking through things, And whenever Jack asks, Ianto's on a phone or doing something and he pushes Jack away.
His sitting in the information center when Rhys comes in, anger in his eyes and he stalks right over to Ianto and tries to pull him over the counter of the information desk. Ianto flails about a bit and Rhys looks angry and frustrated and he just punches Ianto in the mouth, sending him backward.
"That's for sleeping with my fiancée."
Ianto puts his hand to his lip and pulls it away, red staining his fingers.
"What?"
Rhys makes his way over to the other side of the information desk and grabs Ianto by the shirt until he's standing and he punches him in the stomach. Ianto doubles over in pain.
"I'm not..."
"Oh, don't deny it. She told me."
Rhys looks like he's going to try and hit him again and Ianto ducks. He tries to get a word in edgewise, but Rhys is so angry. He looks ready to kill him. Ianto evades Rhys and he presses his radio and yells.
"Gwen, get your ass up here. Your fiancé has gone crazy and is trying to kill me."
"I am gonna kill you."
"Look you've got the wrong guy."
"Gwen told me it was you!"
"Yeah, but she forgot to mention the fact that Owen and I switched bodies. I'm Ianto. Ianto! Owen's the one you want to kill."
Rhys looks confused, face contorted and he may not know much about Torchwood, but he knows enough to know that weird shit happens. He must anyway.
"That's a load of shit."
"No, it's not. It's the truth."
"You're lying!"
"I'm not."
Rhys just yells and throws his hands up and tries to charge at Ianto again. Ianto jumps out of the way, out from behind the desk and he falls into something solid. He looks up and sees Jack standing behind me.
"Are you alright?" Jack asks.
There's concern in his eyes, his hands on Ianto's back as he tries to keep him level and make sure he's okay.
"I'm fine. He didn't hit me that many times."
"Why was he hitting you in the first place?"
"He's sleeping with my girl!" Rhys yells.
Jack frowns.
"What?"
"He thinks I'm Owen. Not that he can be blamed for that. I am kind of wearing his face."
"What're you two talking about?"
"I told you. I'm not Owen. I'm Ianto. We switched bodies."
"What?"
"He's right, Rhys. I... He's not Owen. He's Ianto. You've been beating up Ianto." Gwen says.
"I've... what?"
"Rhys, I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?"
"I told you because I thought you should know. I didn't think you'd attack people at my work."
Rhys and Gwen keep yelling at each other and Ianto can feel Jack's hands on him and Jack's lips are so close to his ears and Ianto wants to lean in more.
"No."
"Ianto."
"Fuck! I'm bleeding. And... I can't do this anymore. I... I have to get the fuck out of here. This... this is just..."
He pulls away from Jack and Gwen and Rhys are looking at him like he's lost his mind.
"Ianto," Gwen says, cautiously.
"No. Look, this is just... this is it for me right now, okay."
Ianto doesn't look at them, doesn't give them anything as he walks out of the information center.
He gets in his car and drives. Not directly home, or to Owen's, or whatever. He's half way to his apartment when he remembers it's no longer his, for the duration anyway. He'd punch the steering wheel dramatically if he didn't think it would lead to an accident.
He drives, past coffee houses and pubs, past the city bustling with life, no clue as to anything, and Ianto barely remembers what it was like to be one of them. For his life to be filled with dead end jobs and nothing on your mind except for when you were going to get your next drink, or money for rent.
He wonders what it would be like to be one of those people again.
When he gets to Owen's he throws his keys down on the ground, not caring because it's not like Owen cares and he makes his way to the living room.
"I was wondering if you were ever going to show up."
It should surprise him that Jack's there, but Ianto shrugs and takes off his coat, throws it down on the arm chair and sighs.
"What are you doing here?"
"That was quite the scene back there. Very dramatic. Had Gwen all in a tizzy."
"Well she can't be the only one that has dramatics playing out in the work place. Got to save some of that for the rest of us."
"Oh, it wasn't that bad."
"I didn't see you getting punched in the face. If you'd have just retconned him in the first place..."
"I couldn't do that."
Ianto snorts. Right, Jack couldn't do something. That'd be the day, he thinks, but he remembers the scene quite clearly, Gwen standing strong, saying she wouldn't do it, needing that little piece in her life to feel complete or something and Jack had just given it to her. Despite the rules and despite the consequences and the part of Ianto that had been trained with Torchwood London, the first team, the ones that did it up good until they got themselves killed, had been chomping at the bit.
Ianto had stayed quiet
"Right."
"I couldn't."
"You can do anything, Jack. You're the boss."
"We would've lost her."
"Maybe that was her decision to make. She said. She said she would. You broke the rules by letting it slide. It always slides for Gwen. Owen fucks up and you fire him and I..."
"It's not like that."
"Of course it is, Jack. Gwen... I don't know. I really don't know. I thought I did, maybe, at one point. Thought perhaps I knew exactly what she meant to you, but sometimes..." Ianto closes his mouth, lips pursing.
He doesn't know what he's saying, doesn't know what he wants to say, but it's not this. It's not coming out right.
He's supposed to not care. This kind of thing, this thing with Jack, it's supposed to be a lot freer than Ianto's used to because Jack can't be too restricted and Ianto couldn't be too tied down in the beginning there.
He's not sure when that changed.
"Ianto it's not..."
"No, Owen's right. God, Owen's right. I'm pathetic," Ianto grumbles.
"You're not pathetic."
"Yes, I am. You go and you die and you leave us all alone and I forgive you. You're in love with Gwen..."
"I'm not in love with Gwen."
"You bend the rules for her."
"She'd been threatening to leave."
"It's more than that. I know it's more than that. The fairy tales rarely involve two men who've threatened to kill each other more than once."
"Fairy tales aren't real, Ianto. I'm not looking for that."
"You're not looking for anything. Because you're Captain Jack Harkness and you're going to live forever, so you don't need anybody."
"I need you," Jack says.
Ianto snorts.
"No, you don't. Not like... I could do this with you a million times, Jack and I'd always get the same results."
"Stop being maudlin," Jack says.
"I'm being honest."
Jack shakes his head and starts walking over toward Ianto.
"Honest, huh. So what are we saying here? Are you saying you don't want to be with me? That you don't want me?"
"I always want you."
"Then what's wrong?"
"I want more."
"I can give you what you want."
Ianto shakes his head.
"No, you can't. You try, but... there'll come a day, maybe faraway from now... I don't know, but it'll happen."
"Not while you're alive."
"You won't mean to, it'll just happen and then I won't know what to do with myself."
"Never."
"Always, Jack."
Jack grabs his shoulders, anger flooding through his face and he pulls Ianto close and kisses him, lips mashing against lips and Ianto will never get used to how good this feels, in any body. How warm Jack is and how soft and how much he just melts when Jack's hands are on him.
He pulls away, forehead resting against Ianto's and Ianto feels himself shaking, feels Owen's body shaking and he'd chalk it up to the closeness, but this is Owen's body, not his own.
Jack still has the same effect.
"I told you that I love you."
"You love a lot of things, Jack."
"I love you," Jack growls.
"But it's not..."
"Don't say..."
"It's not. We all... everyone here, we... we die young. I'm happy, but I wonder if I could be happier with someone else."
Jack takes a deep breath, shuddery and deep and his hands are still on Ianto's shoulders, holding closer.
"I'd let you go. If you found someone, I'd let you go."
Ianto shakes his head.
"I know you would. Problem is, I don't know that I would."
"So... why..."
"I don't know."
Jack smirks and he leans down again and Ianto hates himself for wanting this so badly. For something to be familiar when he's stuck in this body and his world feels tipped and off balance.
So he lets Jack kiss him, lets Jack's hands run up his body and his pushes into those hands, wanting more.
"I need to hear you talk," Jack whispers into his ear and Ianto shudders.
"I can't..." Ianto says, swallowing harshly.
"I want you to know that I know it's you, Ianto. I'm not here thinking about anyone else. Just you. You're all that matters."
He wants to believe him, wants to let take Jack take him in his arms and just forget about it. Not listen to Owen's words ringing in his ears about a part time shag and Jack's touching him in all the place that usually make Ianto shiver with need, like he's forgotten this is Owen's body.
"Let's go to the bed," Ianto whispers against Jack's lips.
Jack looks at him, shock in his face.
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure."
"You're over..."
"No, no I'm not and it freaks me out a little, but... I want it."
Jack smiles.
"Yeah. Okay."
"Did you have fun, then?"
Owen frowns. They haven't actually talked since he and Ianto got back from Ianto's mother's dinner. She smiles at him, talks about work, but he remembers a time when Tosh would go on and on about her life and Owen would just sit there and listen. Maybe not as intently as Tosh listens, but he does listen.
Jack's made them go on what seems to be a stakeout, but Owen thinks maybe it's a Weevil hunt. He doesn't really know for sure.
"It was interesting."
"Meeting Ianto's mother. Is she nice?"
"She's a peach. Really very nice. Funny too."
"That's fantastic," Tosh says.
The conversation stills, dies and Owen's back to wishing he and Tosh were back in the Hub or something.
It's not that he doesn't know how to talk to her. He does. She's Tosh, that much hasn't changed and Owen's never been the type of guy to get nervous around girls. He's been the guy who smiles charmingly and says a few words and makes women notice him.
But this is Tosh.
"She doesn't know about Jack," Owen says.
"Oh, is she..."
"No. She asked if Ianto was my boyfriend. Called my body pretty good-looking."
"I bet you just loved that."
Owen smiles.
"Wasn't so bad. So no, she wouldn't freak out that her little boy's getting it on with the boss. He just hasn't told her."
"That's his decision."
"Just thought you might like to know. Doesn't seem to fit your theory that they're madly in love."
"I didn't..."
"I know, I know. You said there's some love there. Ianto pretty much put it that way as well."
"You guys actually talked about that kind of stuff?"
"Oh, yeah, had a heart-to-heart over some alcohol. It was very touching."
"I'm surprised he'd want to talk to you about that kind of thing."
"Well he did call me an idiot," Owen mutters.
"What?" Tosh asks, looking up from her equipment and monitors.
Owen stares at her through the rearview mirror. She's looking at him with great interest and Owen thinks maybe she had heard him.
"He called me an idiot."
"Any reason in particular this time?"
"You know Ianto."
"Yes, well, he does seem to call you an idiot often."
"He seemed to think that my choices in life were idiotic."
She nods her head and goes back to her monitors.
"Well, I'm sure whatever it is, you think about it in a completely different manner than he does."
He nods.
"So... you wanna call it a night?" Owen asks.
Tosh bites her lip and he sees her mess with a few more things, uncertain look on her face.
"Jack didn't..."
"It's been hours. I think he forgot all about us."
"He wouldn't..."
"He would. Gwen did radio us to say that something happened at the Hub that made Ianto run off. They're probably off somewhere."
"And that doesn't bother you?"
Owen frowns.
"It pisses me off. And they're probably at my place. They're gonna owe me some new sheets."
"It's just... I would expect you to be angrier. Not that you don't sound angry..."
"I'm the one that said it was good to get on with life as it was before this all happened. For Ianto, that includes shagging Jack."
"And for you?"
"Well, you did mention something about a pool tournament," he says jokingly.
She pushes her glasses back up and looks away.
"It wasn't a tournament."
"Then..."
He doesn't know what makes him ask. Before he hadn't known, despite that niggling feeling in the back of his mind because he'd known, but he'd never really known.
But he hears Ianto in his head, his voice and Ianto's words ringing through him like everyone knows that Tosh has feelings for him but him and he can't help but think about all the times that she'd stuttered and asked him for drinks.
She sighs.
"It was supposed to be a date."
Except he'd been expecting her to make up something else, anything but that and this isn't Tosh, but it is. It's Tosh after her alien encounter and after Tommy and it may not have been much, but it's enough to make her finally say it.
"A date."
She licks her lips and nods her head.
"You... you'd want..."
"Well, yeah. I mean, if you..."
"Seriously. A date. Like... a date."
He wishes he didn't sound so stupid.
"Yes, a date. I can see that you're thrilled about the idea," she says sarcastically.
"I am... I mean not thrilled, but... we could."
"We could what?"
"Go on a date."
She turns around and stares at him in the rearview mirror, surprised look on her face, eyebrows arching slightly and Owen thinks this is it. He could say I'm joking, be the ass he usually is or he can not be an idiot like Ianto says.
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah, why not? I mean, I'm not promising anything. I mean, this doesn't mean church bells or anything. Just... you know. A date."
She's looking at him like he's a new and interesting alien they've just caught and don't know how to make heads or tails of it.
"Seriously," he says.
"Seriously," she repeats.
"Yeah, I mean, you're... you're the one that wants to go, right? I mean, you said."
"I did, but I just thought... you've never seemed interested before."
"Well, neither have you."
Which is a lie, a boldfaced lie and it burns in his mouth, feels like ash or something, but he doesn't say anything.
"No, I... I guess not.,." she says and she's doing that mousy thing again.
That thing where she puts her face down and lets her hair get in the way and she's looking at him through her eyelashes and those glasses.
"It's just a date, right. Just you and me going on a date and it doesn't... I mean, it means something, but it's not..."
"Just drinks, then. Something to eat. Doesn't have to be fancy."
"No, I mean. Fancy's alright."
"I'm just saying..."
"I know, just... a date, okay. I'll take care of it."
She frowns.
"You don't have to sound like it's your last meal."
"I don't. I'm happy."
"Really?"
"Yeah, Tosh, seriously. I... want to go on a date with you. I'd... I'd be honored to go on a date with you."
That gets him a smile. A small one, but she's smiling and nodding her head.
"Alright. A date. It's a date."
She goes back to looking at her equipment and Owen gets that weird feeling in his stomach that could mean he's actually nervous or feels like throwing up.
Could be a little of both.
"Oh and Owen... I'm happy too," she says to him, casually.
Owen smiles.
They're happy.
His fingers stroke Jack's cheek.
It's hard, just being here, next to Jack and knowing. Knowing.
Jack stirs and Ianto feels his throat constrict. This shouldn't be hard.
Jack, Jack, it's all Jack and he... he doesn't know what Jack is. What he wants from Jack. He can't believe that he slept with Jack in Owen's body, after everything he'd told Owen, but Jack had just touched him, had told him that he really did love Ianto, just Ianto and Ianto had fallen for it.
But he thinks he knows what it is, what it had been.
"Goodbye, Jack."
He feels ridiculous.
It's the hair, it's totally the hair. It's too fluffy. He hasn't gotten used to Ianto's fluffy hair in the months that he's been stuck like this. He's tried gel, lots of gel, but all that does is make it get hard and look ridiculous.
So he does nothing to it and now it looks like he just rolled out of bed and came to take Tosh to some fancy restaurant. Which is kind of what he did hair wise, but at least he put on a suit and hey, he even ironed it, so he thinks that that's a plus.
Tosh, on the other hand, looks like she spent quite a lot of time fixing her hair. It looks kind of similar to how she had styled it the first day they took Tommy out of the freezer for their annual check in that turned into him sacrificing his life. Up and stylish and overly complicated and at the same time not.
Not that he spends much time noticing women's hair.
It's just Tosh rarely does anything with hers except let it fall loose in her face. She rarely puts it up unless it's a special occasion and it's only right that, as a friend, Owen notice these things.
Her dress is nice too, a deep rich purple that shows off her best assets and he wonders when he started thinking about Tosh's assets.
Probably around the time that he realized he might actually like her in that way.
"That's a nice dress."
She smiles brightly.
"Thanks. I bought it for Gwen's wedding."
"You're not in the wedding then?"
"No, she went into this long, drawn out explanation as to why I wasn't a bridesmaid. As if I'd want to be a bridesmaid. I almost let her go on yammering because it was kind of fun, but I could see she was kind of distressed about the whole thing. Must have thought I was gonna be angry with her."
Owen smiles.
"You like her, you know you do."
Tosh cocks her head to the side.
"Well, of course I like her. I mean, she's Gwen. What's not to like? She's part of the team. I like all of you. You're like... well you're like family to me. I don't get to see mine that often."
Owen nods. The waiter shows them to their table, all grace and flashy tux and he tries to hold out Tosh's seat for her. Owen thinks that must be his job though, so he pushes the guy to the side, the guy glaring and pulls out her seat.
She stares at him oddly.
"Thank you," she says.
He smiles and goes back to his seat.
"When you said dress nice... you didn't have to go through all this trouble. I would have been fine going out to a bar and having a pint."
"I know."
"So why..."
"I don't know. I just felt like it. I haven't..."
He clears his throat.
Tosh doesn't know about Katie. Doesn't know why he joined Torchwood, Jack had given him that much at least. He's sure she probably knows about some woman with an alien in her head and then a few months later there's Owen getting hung over and having her cover for him.
From the beginning, she'd trusted him. From the beginning, she'd known his potential.
"I just haven't been to one of these in a while."
"A restaurant?"
"Now you're being deliberately dense. You're supposed to be a genius."
She smiles.
"Right, well, I understand. Still, it's all a bit too fancy."
"Fancy seems to agree with you."
She's blushing now, pink tingeing her cheeks and Owen thinks, she really is beautiful. Maybe not in any conventional way, but she's beautiful and she's here with him. She wants to be here with him and he'll never understand that, because he's such an ass to her and everyone, but she wants it and he thinks that he wants it too.
She pats his hand.
"Fancy agrees with you too."
He frowns.
"Agrees with Ianto, you mean."
Tosh's eyes widen.
"No, I mean... well I know that you're in his body, but you're smiling. It's a nice smile."
"It's Ianto's smile."
"Yes, I know, but it's you smiling."
"But it's Ianto's body. You sure you don't want to really be here with Ianto?"
He means for it to be joking. He means for his voice to sound light and warm and it doesn't.
"I didn't... why would you think that?"
He frowns.
"I guess it's just weird. Going on our first date while I'm in someone else's body."
"You said that you wanted to do everything normally. We could've waited for you to switch back."
"Wait. Waiting is a killer. How the hell do we know we're ever gonna switch back? I'm right. We should be living our lives. I just..."
She reaches over and grabs his hand. She squeezes it lightly and gives him an encouraging look.
"You're still Owen. I know that."
"It's still weird."
"Well of course it's weird. This whole thing is weird and it must be difficult for you. I couldn't imagine. I just... you're still Owen and I know that. I didn't fall in love with Ianto or Ianto's body."
Her eyes widen when she realizes what she's just said and she blushes, looks away from him. He opens his mouth to say something then shuts it. He's not sure what to say to make her feel less embarrassed.
"I didn't mean..."
"It's fine."
"No, I don't need you to say it back. I don't need you to say anything. I mean I didn't even mean to say it and now I've made a complete fool of myself."
"No," he says and he squeezes her hand.
"Look I... do you want to get out of here?"
"What?"
"This place, it's not really us is it?"
She looks confused for a second, but then she smiles. It's small, but it's there and he smiles wider for her.
Apparently she likes it when he smiles.
She shakes her head.
"No, it's not us."
"So let's go to the bar and get a pint."
Her smile widens.
"Yeah, let's go."
Jack's acting bitchy.
A lot bitchier than he usually is and Owen knows it has everything to do with coffee - his lack of coffee, but more specifically, his lack of a certain coffee boy.
He stares sometimes. More than usual and he scowls like he's frustrated by it all.
It takes three days before Owen asks.
"You gonna retcon him?"
Jack frowns.
"He's not leaving. It's just... a break."
"Yeah, a break in my body."
"Tosh is still working on it."
"It's been months."
"Hasn't stopped you from moving on with your life."
Owen scowls.
"What the hell..."
"Tosh, Owen. Tosh. I've seen the looks. Tosh isn't real good at keeping her feelings to herself and though she looks at you like she's star struck all the time, this is different. So you go and you tell me that Ianto doesn't deserve a little bit of a break."
"He's taking a break because of you."
"You're a genius, you know that."
"It's true. He finally couldn't take the fact that he's not your one and only."
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"I don't care if I'm talking out of my ass. I just want him back."
"Didn't know you cared," Jack says sarcastically.
"Well at least when he was here I knew he wasn't doing anything... unseemly in my body. Now all I can guess is you fucked him and now he's fucking weeping in a corner somewhere that isn't here."
Jack snorts, hands slamming down on his desk and he looks pissed, more than pissed.
"Just... shut the fuck up. For once, in your life, quit with the bitching. Not everything is about you, Owen. Ianto's going through a lot of shit and if he wants to take a few days off to get his head straight, then I will let him take a few days off, because I'm the boss and you're not.
"You don't run things here okay, and I'm sorry that you're still stuck in his body and I wish to hell that you weren't, but you are and we haven't figured anything new out. You've moved on. Just... let Ianto have the same."
There's something in his eyes, sad and clouded and Owen's reminded of the weeks after the whole thing with Lisa and how Ianto had treaded lightly and hadn't needed time off after that. And how Jack had just looked at him, hurt worse than even that whole thing with Suzie and he'd just sucked it up and ordered them to hunt weevils.
It's like Tosh when Owen's his general asshole self or Gwen when something terrible happens that's completely out of her control. Real, genuine hurt.
"Oh fuck, you're in love with him."
Jack sighs.
"Owen."
"You're in love with him and he's in love with you and the two of you idiots are walking around all star-crossed and Greek-fucking-tragedy instead of just talking."
"Because you're one to argue about talking. Tell me something, Owen, if Ianto hadn't opened your fucking eyes, would you have ever gotten it together with Tosh?"
They're silent for a moment, just staring and Owen knows this whole situation is fucked and he's usually not one to talk things through anyway.
"Right, well... fuck Jack, I'm not exactly big on the talking shit either. Never said I was. Just..."
Jack knows though. Jack knows all about Owen's past and how he'd tried to be a normal person and how that had all gotten shot to hell. And he may not know anything about Jack's past, but there's a dead lover or two in there.
Owen's sure of it.
"Yeah. Just."
He hates his hair.
Or more accurately, he hates Owen's hair. The length and the way it seems to stay plastered to his head even if he uses gel. He hates that he has no idea how Owen styles it to make it look good.
He doesn't know why he's fussing. It's his third date with Lucas and it's weird to think about. Dates, in actual intervals and he had the one with Jack and that had been kind of disastrous, but still better.
Still filled with laughter and Jack's eyes crinkling up and staring at him with that bright burning intensity.
Lucas is nice. Lucas has crooked teeth and fair hair and he's nothing like Jack and he's nothing like Lisa and he doesn't entirely get Ianto's humor. He's used to being dry and dark, sarcastic and people just getting it.
Lucas always smiles nervously and nods his head like he doesn't quite understand, but he's following some sort of rule book that says you've got to at least pretend to be engaged.
With Torchwood, there's no pretending. Its intensity and shouting magnified and amplified. With Jack, there's really no looking away.
"So, you know, you still haven't told me what you do. For a living," Lucas says.
"I'm on sabbatical."
"From what?"
Ianto twitches a bit.
"Tell me something, what's the first thing that attracted you to me?"
Lucas frowns and he remembers meeting Lucas, fourth day into his time away from Torchwood and how he'd literally bumped into him while he'd been out for coffee, letting someone else take care of it for a change.
It had been the fact that Lucas had been smaller than him, smaller than this body and he'd smiled widely even though he had coffee staining a crisp white shirt.
Ianto likes smiles.
"Hmm, odd subject change."
"Answer it for me?" he says, in what he hopes is his most charming voice.
It's Owen's voice, Owen's smile, Owen's whole fucking demeanor even though he's the one in the driver's seat.
"Alright. It was your eyes."
"My eyes?"
"Yeah. There's... I don't know there's something about them."
"They're brown."
"I like brown. Dark... there's some... depth in them."
Ianto smiles.
"Guess they're just plain to me."
Lucas bites on his bottom lip.
"So you gonna answer my question, then? About your job. Not that it's important, or anything. You don't have to be incredibly wealthy. Just, you know, typical dating question."
Ianto nods.
"It's very boring."
"So boring you had to take a sabbatical from it."
It's a joke and Lucas doesn't know, doesn't know the reasons so Ianto gives him a forced smile and nods.
"Something like that."
"Well, then I guess you're saving me the boring explanation for a reason. Still..."
"Ianto?"
Ianto turns around and sees Gwen and Rhys standing there, hand in hand and he wishes that he hadn't told them about this place.
"Gwen, Rhys."
"Fancy seeing you here."
"It is my favorite place to eat."
"Yes, well, it's good. I've been telling Rhys we should eat here."
"Good," he says.
She smiles in that way that means she wants answers, that she wants to ask questions, but she's so freaking polite sometimes.
"Oh, Gwen, this is Lucas. Lucas, this is one of my co-workers, Gwen Cooper."
"Soon to be Williams. Which, by the way, I've been trying to contact you about. You are still coming to the wedding, right?"
Ianto blinks his eyes and Lucas looks at Gwen with new interest.
"Um, I did RSVP."
"Oh I know, but, well, with everything..."
She lets her words trail off, lets them hang in the air and Rhys looks a bit uncomfortable by it all.
"It's fine."
"Sorry about the punch. I know I already apologized, but I didn't... I mean, anyone could make the same mistake with you lot."
Ianto nods.
"Would've applauded you if you had gotten it right."
Rhys rubs the back of his neck and smiles.
"Still..."
"It's fine. I've already said that."
"Yes, well..."
"It's fine. I'll be there, Gwen. I just... I needed the time off."
"You'll be coming back, then. Now that everything's... now that you seem to be happier," she says smiling.
She's always smiling, always needling, but Ianto kind of loves her because of it. She usually brings a smile to his face.
"Eventually. I just..."
"Owen's pitching a fit you know. Tosh... well she does her best to calm him down, but you know how he is."
"Owen?" Lucas says.
"Another co-worker," Ianto says.
"Just a co-worker?" Lucas says, questioning look on his face.
Gwen smiles.
"Oh, yes, just a co-worker."
"He's dating Tosh now, you know."
"That's great."
Everyone seems to be getting on with their lives, except for Ianto.
"Look I know that things... I mean I know that... what I'm trying to say is that we miss you and we hope you come back soon, alright."
Ianto smiles. She's being tactful in the face of Lucas, which is nice of her, all things considered.
"Yeah, Jack's an idiot," Rhys says.
"Rhys."
"Well, he is. Serves him right that you're getting on with your life. Thinks everyone's life has to stop because he says so."
Ianto would smile if the whole thing didn't play out like a train wreck. He doesn't think he's got to glare at him or anything, considering Gwen's pinching his arm and practically dragging him out of the restaurant, big smile on her face and she says she hopes to see Ianto soon.
"Colorful."
"That's Gwen and Rhys."
"And who is this Jack?"
Ianto frowns. How does one go about explaining Jack?
"He's our boss."
"Problems with the boss? That would make anyone want to leave their job."
"I haven't left. I just..."
"Sabbatical, yeah. I know. So when's this wedding?"
Ianto's eyes widen.
"Um... next Saturday."
"Huh. That should be lovely."
Ianto knows where this is going. He's seen the polite thing. The whole not saying anything, but trying to convey something with his eyes that Ianto has to try and decode. He'd forgotten that part of dating. Forgot how hard the whole dance in the beginning had been because Jack had never bothered with them.
"I already sent my RSVP."
Lucas looks at him, innocence on his face like he hadn't been implying things.
"Hmm... yes, I know. You said that already."
He acts like it doesn't bug him, but Ianto knows.
"Yeah, yeah I guess I did."
It ends on Gwen's wedding, which seems pretty fitting, all things considered.
Its months later, Ianto's stopped counting really even though the whole thing is so awkward. Even though he wakes up some nights in a sweat and he has that disorienting feeling and he forgets that it's Owen's body and not his own.
But really, it's not that different. He gets used to the voice and the height difference. He gets used to walking around in the body he hadn't been born into.
Not that he likes it, but he's used to it.
Owen seems to have gotten used to it as well, judging by the fact that he's smiling, actually smiling and twirling Tosh around the dance floor and she's smiling bright and laughing.
At least someone's happy.
Gwen looks happy too, rosy and perfect in her white gown and she's married, she's really married to Rhys. She'd said her vows and Ianto knows she'd actually meant them. And Rhys had never looked happier. Happy to be marrying the only woman he's ever loved and Ianto stares down glumly at his drink.
"Why so blue?"
Ianto looks over his shoulder and sees Jack.
"I'm not."
"You look depressed. This is a wedding. It's supposed to be happy."
Jack's standing close, very close and he's never respected personal space issues so Ianto's not surprised. His chest is touching Ianto's shoulder, fingers barely touching the small of his back, almost there, whisper soft and not real. He wants Ianto to lean back, lean into his fingers.
"I'm happy for Gwen. I'm glad she's happy. And Rhys too. He's an alright fellow. Even when he's trying to knock you out."
"Yeah they're pretty good together. Tosh and Owen seem pretty happy too."
He hears Tosh's laugh all the way across the room and he can see Owen basically making a fool of himself, dancing like an idiot.
He really doesn't want to know that his body could move that way.
"Would've thought he'd act like an idiot."
"He's actually really in love with her. He just hasn't realized it yet."
"Well, yes, I knew that."
"Still gotta be very weird to see him being happy like that in your body."
"I'd rather not know."
He's the one that pushed Owen. He's the one that told Owen to get his head out of his ass and go for it.
He'd just hoped that it hadn't been while they were still in each other's bodies.
"Ianto..."
"Let's not talk about this right now."
"Ianto..."
"Gwen must have told you."
Jack frowns.
"Told me what?"
"About how she ran into me and Lucas having coffee."
Jack's frown deepens.
"Lucas."
"Yes, Lucas. He's... we're sort of seeing each other."
"Think Owen would approve?"
Ianto looks over at the dance floor, Owen dancing closely to Tosh and he thinks Owen doesn't have any say. Owen's happy, as happy as Torchwood will let them be anyway and Ianto knows all about that.
"He didn't ask me about Tosh."
"Well, I was under the impression that you're the one that pushed him towards her. Not that I don't think it's a... well, it complicates things."
"No more so than sleeping with the boss."
Jack's teeth bite at his bottom lip and Ianto looks away. Can't look at Jack's eyes because they're one of Jack's best features, the first thing Ianto had really noticed, after the coat and the smile.
"So, Lucas. Is he cute?"
He can't believe they're doing this and he doesn't want to talk about Lucas with Jack when in all of Ianto's twisted, deep hidden fantasies, Jack had been torn up about it.
Not his usual charming self and Ianto should really know better.
"He's not you."
"Well, not many people are," Jack says, smirk on his face.
"It's part of his appeal."
Jack stops smiling.
"Ouch."
"Oh, please."
"Ianto..."
"He's nice, okay. And good looking, sure. But boring. At least with Rhys... we're all severely fucked up, you do realize this, right. Can't form real relationships and here I am, nice guy and he actually likes me even though he thinks I'm Owen or, well, he's attracted to this body. It's not like he knows who Owen is.
"And do you know, people would be lucky, lucky! They would consider themselves lucky to be in a relationship with Lucas and all I can think is he's boring and he's not you. Is this what you want to talk about Jack?"
"Why are you doing this?"
Ianto frowns.
"I'm trying to be happy."
"You weren't happy with me?"
He can feel his brows knit together and there's that look on Jack's face. That genuine hurt look and his hands are stroking Ianto's and Ianto opens his mouth.
"I..."
"Jack, Ianto."
Ianto looks over and Tosh is standing there and Ianto wonders how long they've been talking and how loudly, but no one else seems disturbed. They're all too busy doting on the blushing bride and Tosh's eyes are wide.
"Yes Toshiko."
"I've found it."
He knew trying to save the world in a suit would be murder.
At least Ianto seems to be in a same boat and Owen doesn't know how he runs around and holds a gun and doesn't look stupid. He actually looks pretty good.
If Owen were into that sort of thing and it's weird because he's staring at himself really.
"So what exactly are we looking for?" He asks.
"There was an unusual energy spike in this area a few hours ago. It's been emitting sort of like a pulse. Short bursts of energy and all that. At first I didn't think it was worth mentioning, but then, as it grew stronger, I thought it should be brought to attention." Tosh says.
"What's so important about it that you had to tear us away from Gwen's wedding?" Jack says.
"I didn't recognize it at first, but then after some more time, I figured out that it was emitting the same kind of energy that the device had been."
Owen frowns.
"Wait, the device. The... the one that..."
"Yes," Tosh says, with a smile on her face.
"Wait, we're talking about the one that switched Owen and Ianto's bodies? It just... appeared out of thin air?" Jack asks.
"Well, no, not out of thin air."
"Through the rift?" Owen asks.
"No, it's... well it's been here, but it just now... turned on. I was messing with the machine and I noticed that there seemed to be a device powering it."
"Like a battery."
"Yes. Like a battery. Anyway, the device was out of power. I pushed a few controls on it in the hopes that there was someway to recharge it or not. I must have triggered some sort of locater."
"Well then what the hell are we waiting for?" Owen says.
"I was explaining it to you," Tosh says.
"I don't need you to explain it to me. Just... fix it," Ianto says.
She glares at both of them.
"We still have to take it back to the Hub. Can't exactly change you back right now."
"Well, if I pick it up, it's not going to turn me into a bug or something, right? I've had enough with this out of body of experience shit," Owen says.
He watches as Ianto shakes his head.
"No, it's not going to turn you into a bug. It's just a battery, Owen."
"And before we thought that the other device was a garbage can."
"No, Owen, you thought it was a garbage can. I told you not to touch it. I'm telling you it's okay to touch this. We can take it back to the Hub and I'll set everything up. Should have you back in your body by the end of the day."
Everyone's quiet for awhile, thinking it over and Owen wants it more than anything, wants to go back to his own body, to be in his own skin.
"Great. Let's go."
He knows Jack's staring at him.
He's been in Owen's body for a few months, but he still has the ability to know when Jack's looking at him. He can even know what Jack's thinking, to some extent.
This time, Ianto doesn't know what Jack's thinking.
Tosh has been tinkering around with the device, trying to make the pieces fit and join together. She's been at it for two hours, Owen right there hovering near her. Ianto has to wonder why she hasn't smacked him yet.
He takes a sip of his coffee and shakes his head.
"Something funny?"
He looks up and Jack's standing right there, mug in hand and Ianto almost wants to tell him that he can't drink his coffee, just out of spite.
"Just Owen and Tosh. I'm surprised she hasn't smacked him."
"Ah, young love."
Ianto frowns.
"She'll smack him soon."
"Never said she wouldn't. She's just putting up with him longer than she would have because of it."
He can't argue with that. Tosh had let Owen get away with murder before. Sure, she's grown, Ianto knows this. Ianto's had the pleasure of watching, seeing her fight and stand up for herself. But it's still Owen.
The guy she's head over hills in love with.
"Must be nice," Ianto mutters.
"You know, you get changed back and Lucas isn't going to recognize you. Might even try to chat Owen up."
"Better get you to retcon him then, hmm. Not that you probably weren't going to anyway."
"I wouldn't."
Ianto huffs and shakes his head.
"Would you think that way if I told you I'd fucked him? That I'd let him fuck me. Touch me."
Jack frowns, lips pursing and his face is hard and Ianto wants to laugh at him. Things with Lucas hadn't gotten that far. Ianto's not a slut, even if things with Jack seem to make people think differently.
But even if he had, Lucas's touch doesn't make him feel like he's on fire, doesn't make him want more. Not like Jack. Not like Jack's hands on him, touching his skin and making him feel more than alive. Not like Jack kissing his lips, his stomach, his neck, anywhere on his body really.
Jack laughs and sighs and plays Ianto's body like a fiddle and when they're fucking Jack can look at him with those same eyes, with that same intensity and make him feel like more, like it's all more. That everything they have is more.
"I wouldn't effect my decision whether or not to retcon him. You didn't tell him anything about Torchwood. I know you well enough to know that. Even if he had..."
He can't even say it and Ianto thinks that must mean something.
"Yes you would, Jack. I know you. You'd probably think it was romantic or something."
Jack smirks.
"Maybe not romantic, exactly. You had to know it probably wasn't going anywhere anyway."
"Were you not there for my little outburst? I know, alright. I knew. I just... I had to try. See how much you and Torchwood have screwed up my life."
"Is it so bad that I love you?"
He sounds angry and Ianto takes a deep breath.
"No, I just... we're from different times..."
"Don't give me that line. You were... I thought you were understanding. That you understood..."
"I tried and for awhile... it worked, you know. I wasn't in love with you. I liked you. The sex... and it was good."
"But..."
"Gwen..."
"I'm not in love with Gwen. I love Gwen. I love Owen and Tosh too. You guys... you're the only family I've known in quite sometime. I've been alive for a lot longer than anyone deserves to be and I've been through more hardships then I care to go into and this... I've found something with you guys. Something that means more to me than anything and with you..."
He purses his lips and his eyes go wide and Ianto listens, really listens and watches closely. Watches as Jack pours his heart and tries to make Ianto understand.
"I love you, Ianto. I'm in love with you and I don't know how many times I have to say it, but I want you to know because it seems like you're not hearing me."
He doesn't say anything after that, just puts his mug down and walks away and Ianto feels like an idiot because he can't say anything. He opens his mouth to, but nothing comes out.
It's what he's been hoping for and at the same time, he doesn't know what to do with it.
"I think that should do it," Tosh says.
She pushes her bangs out of her face, forehead sweaty and she smiles at a job well done. Owen smiles too.
"Great. Let's get this show on the road."
"Hmm... yes. I tried to hurry. I know how eager you are to get back into your own body."
"Ianto too. Just... ready to be Owen again."
"You've always been Owen."
He nods. He knows he's been him the whole time.
"You know what I mean, Tosh."
"Sure, I just..."
"I know what you were trying to do, Tosh, but I'm fine. I've always... I've always known that I was Owen. I haven't changed, I didn't change and just because I'm in Ianto's body doesn't mean I've changed."
"I know, I just want you to know that I know. That I never thought anything different."
It takes him a minute to understand what she's saying. Tosh usually speaks her mind when she wants to, but apparently that doesn't apply when Owen's involved. It's taken him awhile to realize that. She'll tell him everything under the sun and she'll tell him when he's being an ass, but she'll keep it a secret that she loves him.
Except when she doesn't.
"I was never worried that you did."
Except he had been worried back on their first date - when he'd held her hand it had been Ianto's and when she'd smiled at him and he'd smiled back he'd seen that it had been Ianto's face smiling at her, making her blush. And he'd freaked just a little, not because she'd said she'd been in love with him, but because she'd said it to Ianto.
"I just wanted you to know, is all," she says softly.
"Yeah, yeah I know," he mutters.
"Alright. Well... I'll get Ianto and Jack and we can get this show on the road, as you put it."
He nods and watches as she walks away, up to the little kitchen area to get Ianto who's making coffee no doubt. He seems to do that when he's thinking, or when there's a crisis, or when there's a day that ends in y.
Owen had seen Jack go up there not to long ago. He wonders if they've gotten their heads out of their asses, because Owen can't deal with anymore lovesick people.
He's got enough problems in that department.
His hand fidgets.
He wants this. He wants this more than anything, but more than that he wants things to go back to before this whole thing happened.
He knows that's possible, but not likely so he's left with going back into his own body. He misses it. He misses the suits and the bad ears and the weird scars and the way his knees sometimes crack even though he's twenty-four.
Owen's practically thrumming with nervous energy. He can tell. It is his body, after all. Tosh is turning the machine on and Owen looks like he can barely wait.
"Alright. It's ready," Tosh says.
Ianto nods and looks over at Owen. He's smirking.
"Well, it's been a bitch."
"To say the least."
"Gonna be happy to go back."
Ianto nods and he sees Jack in the corner of his eye, mouth down turned and eyes hard.
"To say the least," Ianto mutters.
"Alright, let's do this," he says.
Ianto watches as he touches the machine and Ianto takes a deep breath and touches it too. There's that same rush, his body tingles like low level electricity is running through him and he briefly remembers that this hadn't felt good the first time.
Then he feels nothing.
He wakes up after Ianto again.
So much so that Ianto's not even there when he wakes up.
"Where the fuck is he?"
"He said that he needed some space," Tosh says.
"He's had a month of space."
"It's not like you want to be around him anymore. You've spent months in his body. He needed some time away."
"There could have been effects..."
"Tosh said there weren't. She checked things over. She said it was fine for him to leave so we let him leave. I suggest you get up and do the same."
Jack smiles at him, shrugs his shoulders and walks out of the room back to his office. Owen snorts.
"Guess he doesn't want Ianto here."
"He wants him here. He just doesn't want to push."
"Wonder if they'll ever get their shit together."
"It's hard. When you love someone. It's certainly not easy."
"I don't love you."
Her eyes widen and she looks a bit shocked, hurt before it flitters away and she gives him a tight smile.
"Like I said before. It's okay. You were probably..."
"No, no I... I love you. I've always loved you even if I've always been a completely ass. I'm just not in love with you."
"I've said."
"You don't understand."
"No, Owen, you don't understand. I know you're not in love with me. I'm very aware of that. I never said you had to be. I just..."
"You deserve someone who will..."
"Can you never see yourself being in love with me?"
This is too much to deal with after his ordeal, but it deserves an answer, if only because Tosh is looking at him like that.
So he thinks. He thinks of Torchwood and Jack and Ianto, and how they seem to be falling apart in front of their eyes. He thinks of Gwen and her smiling so widely it looks like it hurts, glowing and white as she claims to love Rhys and only Rhys. He thinks of Katie and how much he loved her.
"I don't know."
She takes a deep breath.
"Well, talk to me when you can."
He's not avoiding Tosh.
And if he is, he doesn't mean too.
He was actually starting to really like Tosh, that way at least. He's always liked her, always felt something for her, but he's not in love with her the way she's in love with him.
Not yet, at least. Maybe sometime.
Of course, that would require actually talking to her about something other than work, which he thinks he hasn't done since he got his old body back.
And she hasn't even called him on his bullshit.
No one has, and by no one he's thinking of Ianto. Of course Ianto doesn't seem completely himself, either. He's rarely in the Hub and when he is, he's alternately glaring and staring longingly at Jack.
It's like something out of a bad romance novel, Owen thinks. He's also avoiding Owen, and Owen thinks it has something to do with the little incident in the pizza place near the Hub involving some guy named Lucas.
Owen remembers the look on the guy's face, the hurt and how he's called Owen and as and if he hadn't had the balls to just break up with him properly then he's just a shit anyway.
When Owen had told Ianto, he'd turned red and muttered an apology.
Not that Owen really cares. He hadn't been dating Tosh while in Ianto's body. He really doesn't have the upper hand when it comes to these things.
"You know, I go away for one week and everything's gone to shit. I'm starting to think I shouldn't go away any more."
Owen snorts.
"Get over yourself, Cooper."
"It's Williams now," she says, way too cheerfully.
"Stuff it."
She glares.
"Honestly. I go away for a few days and you and Ianto switch bodies. Then I go away for another few days and you're back, but none of you are talking to each other."
"Jack and Ianto got into a screaming match."
She frowns.
"Really?"
"No, well, they... I don't know. Words were said, I'm sure of it. And not nice and happy ones, I'd say, by the way they're... well you know."
Her frown deepens.
"I thought for sure he'd come back and everything would be okay."
Owen snorts again.
"You're too romantic for your own good."
"It's just... Jack cares about him."
"Try telling that to Ianto."
"He has to know."
"I don't know what goes on in his head. Mostly I don't give a shit what goes on in his head. If I never have to think about what goes on in his head, I'll be even happier than I am now. It's just..."
He doesn't know how to say it. Doesn't know how to tell Gwen about how they'd talked about it and though he's not a girl, he gets it. Gets where Ianto's coming from.
Jack has very different ideas about love and relationships and shagging and Ianto's a twenty-first century guy. A bit hopeless and completely in love and Jack's Jack. Jack's the guy that really doesn't know how to do relationships because he's done so many that have screwed him up royally.
Owen gets that too, though, so it's hard to pick sides.
"They'll figure it out. It'll take some time."
"You seem to have faith."
"Yeah, well, maybe I said that to get you off my back."
She glares.
"You know, I wasn't just talking about Ianto and Jack, you know. You and Tosh..."
"I'm not avoiding her."
Gwen raises an eyebrow and Owen frowns.
"Okay, maybe I'm avoiding her a little," he grumbles.
"Hmm... why?"
"I don't know."
"Don't you think you should maybe talk to her and figure that out?"
"Stop being insightful."
"I'm just saying..."
"I said stop."
"Look, I'm going to say this one and you can be a shit about it and forget it the minute after I say it, but... this is Tosh, okay. And maybe you're not in love with her, maybe you are. I don't know. I don't want to think how your brain works, because honestly it scares the shit out of me, but you at least owe her an explanation.
"If anything, she's your friend. Probably the best one you have which is a bit sad, but there it is. The cards all lined up on the table and she deserves to her you say that you're an ass instead of you avoiding her. And anyway, you should stop avoiding her. Because you never know what's going to happen next and..."
"Alright, shut up. Please shut up. If I promise to sit down and talk with Tosh, will you please shut your mouth."
Gwen grins.
"Whatever you want, Owen."
"You're a manipulative bitch, you know that."
Her grin widens.
"I like to think of it more as caring."
He moves his hand.
It's good to have his body back. It had taken some getting used to, walking and talking and being himself again.
It's nice.
He'd made plans to call Lucas, he really had because it would be rude not to, but then he'd been back in Torchwood. Back in the thick of things like he'd never left and sometimes Jack would look at him with those eyes that were all wounded.
Ianto would try to ignore it.
He avoids Gwen, too, because he'd heard her little speech with Owen, saw how Owen went along with it and found Tosh to make things better. Not that he doesn't want that to happen as well. He wants them to be happy.
He just doesn't want to deal with his own happiness.
"I'm glad you're back in your own body. Must be nice."
He looks over and sees Jack smiling at him.
"It is."
"I just..."
"We've talked about this enough."
"We have?"
"Yeah. We..."
"We have not. There's still a lot that we haven't talked about..."
"Jack."
They look over and there's Gwen. She looks like she has something to say, something urgent and probably work related.
"Business as usual," Ianto mutters.
Captain John is back.
Owen thinks it's fitting. After all the time that he was in Ianto's body and things were semi-quiet, quiet for Torchwood standards anyway, and now the chaos starts.
"Still not getting a reading on his location, Jack. I'm sorry," Tosh says.
She presses the buttons on her computer and there's something going on, but Owen's not a super genius or anything. He just does as he's told and hopes that he's doing it right. That's why he likes surveillance. It's just watching.
"How the hell are you even getting a read on him in the first place?"
"His little wrist watch thing. Jack helped me tune it into the computers. Runs on a different frequency. It's like satellite."
"Right."
But he doesn't get it and he doesn't think he will.
"It's a bit above your head, I know."
"Thank you for dumbing it down for me."
"I didn't mean..."
He doesn't know why he does it. She turns and her hair is down and she's wearing her glasses and they've been going at this for hours, hours on end where she's techno babbled at him and they've tried so hard to find Captain John when they really should just shoot the bastard.
He kisses her.
Nothing overt or obscene, just a kisses like he'd done before in Ianto's body only this time it's him, it's his body and it's his arms around her, his lips on hers and she just sort of melts into him like they've done this before.
Like it's familiar.
When he pulls away she's still against him, still near him like he's familiar, like this is familiar.
"What?"
"I don't know."
"You don't seem to know a lot," He mutters.
"I just wanted to."
"To see if it was really any good."
"It is good."
"I thought..."
"Look, I'm not in love with you."
"I don't need to hear that more than once you know."
"Calm down. Look, I'm not in love with you now, but I love you and I think, despite the fact that we're both fucked up, we could maybe make this work."
"Maybe make this work?"
"Yes. Because I love you and I care about you and you know what, too short. This life... fuck I'm starting to sound like Jack, but look, I... I think you can do better than me."
"Owen."
"But I'm a selfish bastard, right? So who cares? Truth is, I want to see if this works and we may fuck everything up, but at least we can say we tried. If that's enough for you."
Tosh smiles.
"It's enough."
"Good, so..."
"Tosh! Owen! Get the medical supplies ready. Ianto's been hurt."
And that's when things go to hell.
Ianto gets shot for the first time like this.
"Ah! Shit, it fucking hurts!"
"Oh, quit being such a baby, eye candy."
"You shut up!" Jack yells.
He can't see the screen, but he knows that Captain John is probably pouting and looking like someone shot his favorite house pet.
Ianto wants to tell him to fuck off.
It's his fault really, or Jack's, Ianto hasn't really decided. It's someone's fault that he's lying her bleeding like he'll never stop and it hurts. It hurts more than anything he's ever known, even Canary Wharf. He's gritting his teeth, hoping that Owen's special drugs will start to take effect any time now.
But Jack just had to go and trust Captain John again, like he forgot all about the supposed radiation canister and Owen being shot and Gwen being poisoned and the almost end of the world thing. Like it hadn't even happened.
And it's led to Ianto lying on the autopsy table bleeding on one of his good suits.
"Quit squirming."
"Fuck off!" he yells.
Owen rolls his eyes and applies more pressure to the wound.
"It hurts," he groans.
"Well, yeah. You got fucking shot. That's bound to fucking hurt," Owen says.
"You should know."
He doesn't mean for his voice to be as breathy as it is, but he can't even focus his eyes properly. Gwen's squeezing his hand, he feels it and he can see the red blood staining her face and her big blue eyes all watery and big.
Ianto wants to tell her to fuck off.
"Do something! He shouldn't be bleeding this much."
"He was shot Jack. That's not something to scoff at and he's bleeding badly because I think it hit something vital and if you would all just shut the fuck up and get out, I'll be able to knock him out."
He knows it's not a good sign if Owen's sounding panicked. Owen's calm under pressure, grace and bad words, but he's actually looking sort of nervous.
"I... it's..."
He wonders how he looks, wonders if he looks dead because he's starting to feel kind of cold. All he sees is the light above his head and Owen's face and he could look over and see Jack, but he doesn't want to, because Jack's shouting things at Owen even though Owen told him to get the fuck out.
Ianto wants to tell him to fuck off.
"Yeah, don't try and talk. You need to save your strength."
"Fuck strength."
"You're gonna fuck yourself if you don't. Now, stop talking."
Owen pulls out another syringe and injects it into Ianto's arm, but Ianto can't really feel it. The first one is taking effect finally and Ianto feels like floating, feels like he's dying and living and Owen's grabbing another one and Ianto knows that he's probably about to sleep.
And he wants to just tell everyone to fuck off.
He monitors Ianto's vitals.
It beeps soundly, steadily, unlike the first few hours and then a few hours after that and Owen had told them all that it hadn't been that bad, that Ianto would make it. Mostly because Gwen gave him the wide eyes and Jack had all but gone on a homicidal rampage and Tosh had just looked at him like no, this can't happen again.
So Owen had tried his damnedest.
It had been his best work really. Bullet fragments everywhere like Owen had never seen and Jack had beaten the living shit out of Captain John just to figure out what kind of gun he had used.
Owen figures that considering they weren't actually going to let Jack kill anyone that they could at least let him beat the crap out of Captain John.
It finally looks like they're out of the woods, although Ianto is paler than anyone has any right to be. There's nothing to be done there, though, and at least he's breathing on his own, which is not something they could say a few hours ago.
Hours that separate life and death and Owen knows that well enough.
He's not the only one that's sat with Ianto. Jack's been a constant presence. Owen thinks that maybe if he looked over his shoulder right now, Jack would be standing there, face glum and eyes big with unshed tears. Gwen's been through too, holding Ianto's hand and murmuring words of encouragement at him. Tosh just stands and looks at him, asks Owen useless questions and hugs him, hard, and never lets go and Owen doesn't want her too.
Ever.
It will be a long few days. They're out of the woods, but there will still be Ianto waking up and in enormous pain and making sure that everything works and is really fine.
He hopes for Torchwood's sake that he is.
Ianto doesn't remember the first time he woke up.
Owen will later tell him that he'd woken up screaming and Gwen had shrieked and Jack was screaming and Tosh trying to keep Owen sane.
Ianto doesn't remember it through the pain.
The second time Ianto wakes up, he's a bit loopy and Jack's the only one there, holding his hand and telling Ianto that he has to live, that he can't die and Jack loves him, loves him.
Ianto remembers that.
The third time it's just Owen.
He groans.
"Look who's up," Owen murmurs.
"Where..."
"Emergency came up. They had to rush off. I had to stay to make sure you didn't die on us."
Ianto tries really hard not to move.
"Great."
"I think you're fine now. Everything looks good."
"Not going to die suddenly," Ianto says.
"No, you're through the worst of it. You've been out for quite some time. Medically induced coma, followed by some not-so-happy rounds with lessening of the pain medications, followed by you now up and alert and in no danger of dying suddenly."
"Great."
"Everyone will be so happy."
"Great."
He wishes he could say different words.
"You know, as much as you and Jack like to pretend you're not hopelessly in love with each other, it's kind of obvious to everyone else."
Ianto frowns.
"I just got out of a coma, you think you could leave the heavy stuff for later? When I'm off my death bed."
"The coma came first. You just came out of not-so-happy rounds of lessening your pain medication. And now would be the perfect time to talk about it."
"With you?"
Owen frowns.
"I'm not a model of someone in love. Tosh... well I love her and I think it's the most happy I can be. I'm a fucked up person Ianto. But the thing is, you're a fucked up person and Jack's a fucked up person and everyone in Torchwood is a fucked up person. Except for maybe Gwen, but even she has her moments."
Ianto wishes this were a real hospital so he could pull a blanket around himself. The autopsy table is very uncomfortable, though it feels like maybe they put down pillows or something.
"He lost his shit, you know. Beat the crap out of Captain John. I had to patch him up as well. You know, he even tried to use the machine."
"The machine?"
"The machine. The one that switches your bodies. Even after we found out you were gonna be fine, when you were just in pain. He wanted to switch with you so you didn't have to feel pain."
He doesn't remember that. Doesn't remember anyone trying to talk him out of it, but Jack had been screaming about a lot of things.
"He knows better than to use alien technology like that."
"Well he didn't, but he would have. If we hadn't talked him out of it. Like I said, he lost it."
"I..."
"Just get over your shit, okay? You almost died and if it's one thing I've learned, if it's one thing that you've told me and that I've had beaten into my head by you people it's that life is too fucking short. Torchwood does that to you and you have to grab on to whatever piece you can get, because tomorrow it's going to be gone."
"You're giving me advice."
Owen snorts.
"Yeah, so fucking take it."
He wakes up to Jack and Gwen arguing.
"We should break it."
"It could be useful."
"I still can't believe you wanted to use it."
"We'll put it away."
"Yes, but we should break it. Or take it apart, or something. Just so we don't get tempted to use it."
He's been moved, he thinks. Or maybe they just put in a better bed. He's not sure. The Hub isn't equipped with a hospital bed.
"You would have done it. too."
Gwen makes an agreeable noise.
"Yes."
"So don't judge."
"I wasn't. I can understand. He was in so much pain."
"He's better now."
He feels Jack squeeze his hand, strokes his hand, his face, his hair.
"So Owen says."
"I'd believe the good doctor."
"Oh yes. Owen is good at what he does."
They're silent for awhile, Jack's hands still on him and Ianto should probably act like he's waking up or something, but Jack's hands on him feel nice.
"You must really love him."
"Yeah. Yeah I do."
They've completed the case without him.
Without him and Owen, mostly because Owen's been mostly at the Hub making sure Ianto can walk again.
And when he can, Owen complains loudly and never lets him forget that Ianto's the reason Tosh had gone out there without him.
Then Tosh touches his hand and Owen shrugs like he doesn't know she's doing it.
He walks and he starts to make coffee again, and then Captain John is gone back through the Rift and Ianto makes coffee.
Torchwood goes back to normal.
Except.
"Ianto."
He turns.
"Yes, sir?"
And then Jack kisses him in the middle of the Hub, with his arms wrapped tightly around him and it's in front of the whole team like he just doesn't care.
"What the hell are you doing?" Ianto asks, when Jack pulls away.
"Kissing you."
"Why?"
"Because you almost died?"
"And that gives you and excuse to molest me?"
"Harassment is our way."
"Jack."
"I'm not listening to you anymore, because you're not listening to me. I could tell you a hundred times that I love you, that I may be from a different time and a different place and I may not be able to die, but I'm still a man. My heart still beats and I still need air and I could die a hundred times and still live, but not being with you hurts more. I just..."
"Are you done being over dramatic in front of everyone?"
Jack stops. His mouth tightens and he opens and closes it a few times.
"I just..."
"Look, I just... I meant, why the hell are you doing this in front of everyone. We need to have some privacy."
"Are you saying..."
"Just... yeah. I'm saying."
Jack smirks, that devious smirk of his and everyone is still watching them.
"Alright, everyone. Get the hell out."
Gwen's eyes widen and Owen's smirking and Tosh is even smiling.
"What?"
"They want to have sex. Let's go," Owen says.
"But..."
"Gwen. Be happy. It means that they're not going to be moping around anymore," Tosh says.
"We didn't..."
"Stop protesting. We're leaving. Go shag already. Perfect end to a perfect story," Owen says.
Ianto couldn't agree with him more.
He looks down at his phone.
It's Jack. Of course it's Jack. He takes another swig of his drink and presses ignore on his phone.
"Fuck, is he calling you again?"
"Yup."
"Got you on a short leash."
"I think he might actually be scared."
"Right, because the two of you just got back together and he's afraid that you're going to leave again. Hook up with Lucas."
Ianto rolls his eyes.
"Because your phone isn't ringing just as much."
Owen's lips tighten and he clanks his glass against Ianto's.
"Less."
"Almost as much."
Owen smirks.
"Great. We're fucking whipped."
Ianto laughs.
"Yup."
"Yeah who would have thought it a few months ago?"
Ianto thinks. A few months ago. Only a few months ago. Life has a way of being considerably weird.
But then again, that's Torchwood.
- Main Torchwood slash page
- New stories page
- Jack/Ianto stories
- Ianto/Owen stories
- Other pairings stories - ie threesomes
- F/F stories
- Gen stories
- Amazon.com - Torchwood: Children of Earth
- Amazon.co.uk - Torchwood - Children of Earth [DVD] [2009]
- Amazon.ca link - Torchwood - The Complete First Season (7DVD)
